Mom (and best friend) has breast cancer...

jk3271
jk3271 Member Posts: 8
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Hi All.

Just need a place to come where people understand what I am going through. In March my mother was diagnosed with Stage II DCIS with lymph node involvement. Let me start off by saying..she is my BEST friend, so this has been far from easy. After two surgeries, she started chemo this week and is doing great. My father is a taking everything very hard and is a nervous wreck, my brother has a lot going on in his own life. I am the one attending the doc appointments and treatments, which I am so happy to do...sometimes, its just so difficult to always be the pulled together one. I almost feel like an actress - I am so strong, calm and upbeat with my family and then I come apart at the seems when I am alone. The other day, I cried in a conference room at work, b/c I just needed somewhere to release my pent up emotions. I just hate seeing my mother have to go through this. I am 29, newly married and otherwise have a great life, but this has really effected me. I used to LOVE life, now I'm weepy, my appetite sucks and I feel like cancer is EVERYWHERE! I am first learning how to cope with crisis, and trying to find my way. Anyone can relate out there?????

Comments

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
    There are many here who can relate to your feelings. Cancer affects the whole family. Caregiving is tough, and the first rule of caregiving is the hardest. Take care of yourself. Being strong is really overrated. Talk to your dad. Ask him to attend some of the appointments with you if he can't go it alone. We all hate seeing our loved ones in pain when we know we can't fix it. Take a deep breath, cry when you need to do so, and reach out for help. Don't try to go this alone. See a doctor if you think you might benefit from some medication or just to see how your health is. Come to this board for support or just to vent. Some of us has been through similar things. Others are going through it now. Some are the patients and they can offer insight, too. Take care, Fay
  • tmc576
    tmc576 Member Posts: 60 Member
    #3
    grandmafay said:

    There are many here who can relate to your feelings. Cancer affects the whole family. Caregiving is tough, and the first rule of caregiving is the hardest. Take care of yourself. Being strong is really overrated. Talk to your dad. Ask him to attend some of the appointments with you if he can't go it alone. We all hate seeing our loved ones in pain when we know we can't fix it. Take a deep breath, cry when you need to do so, and reach out for help. Don't try to go this alone. See a doctor if you think you might benefit from some medication or just to see how your health is. Come to this board for support or just to vent. Some of us has been through similar things. Others are going through it now. Some are the patients and they can offer insight, too. Take care, Fay

    My mom has cancer too,
    and I am also the one to attend most of her appt's etc. I too know what it is like to put on a happy face, and trying explain to family the latest updates in an up beat way - when all I want to do is cry. I have also cried in the bathroom at work, because it's the only place I can be alone. Hang in there! We are all here to support each other. Hugs.

    Tracey
  • jk3271
    jk3271 Member Posts: 8
    #4
    tmc576 said:

    My mom has cancer too,
    and I am also the one to attend most of her appt's etc. I too know what it is like to put on a happy face, and trying explain to family the latest updates in an up beat way - when all I want to do is cry. I have also cried in the bathroom at work, because it's the only place I can be alone. Hang in there! We are all here to support each other. Hugs.

    Tracey

    Thanks ladies! It is
    Thanks ladies! It is comforting to know that there are other people out there going through or have been through what I am experiencing. Tracey, it sounds like we are in the same boat (unfortunately). I actually decided to go talk to someone tonight -- I just felt like holding everything in was backfiring on me. Take care and you are both in my thoughts & prayers!

Discussion Boards