No energy

SamsWife
SamsWife Member Posts: 50
edited March 2014 in Surviving Caregivers #1
Hi everyone~

I haven't posted anything for a while but have been reading the discussion boards on and off - I hope everyone is doing well.

I really need some advice and insight from some of your experiences. My problem right now is that I am becoming more and more disfunctional and I hate it. I have zero energy and I'm not really interested in doing much of anything. I don't enjoy being with my friends because I feel like we just don't have anything in common and I feel like their "ordinary, every day" problems are so NOT a big deal but I really don't want to be that person that minimizes everyone else's struggles. I pretty much only want to spend time with my kids but they are kids - I love them dearly but they just seem to need, need, need from me - as it should be! Nothing excessive - just normal stuff - but, as I said, I have no energy to get much done. I'm maintaining what has to be done but not much more than that. My house is a mess, I'm barely cooking, etc.

I keep thinking, why now?! I've spent so many years taking care of everyone and everything at home and then I took care of my husband through his illness and the kids and the house. I managed very well, kept stuff done, took care of everyone, cooked, etc., etc. Even through caregiving - I really kept up. Now - when I have plenty of time - my kids are older so it's not constant care as if they were little - I can't seem to get my butt off the couch! I could sleep at the drop of a hat.

Some people have said it's a sign of despression - maybe it is. I think I'll make a dr. appt. and see what he says. I guess my question is: has anyone else experienced this and is it normal? How long does this last? I'm really trying to overcome it and not give in to it. So, I really don't plan on giving in to it - I have no problem taking and antidepressant or something if that's what the doc. says.

Thanks,
Tina

Comments

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
    Getting help
    I responded to some of what you wrote in another post. I would really encourage you to make that doctor's appointment. Also, look into greif counseling in your area for yourself and maybe for your kids. I think, in many ways, your grief is harder than mine. I have the good memories and the sure knowledge of Doug's love. That helps me get through each day and encourages me to move forward. Please do take care of yourself and your family. Reconnect with some of your friends. Hopefully, you have at least one you feel comfortable with. Reach out and grieve, if not for the man, for the life you thought you had. Fay
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #3
    Hi Tina
    I think that all of
    Hi Tina
    I think that all of this is finally hitting you. You have always been so active, so busy, so preoccupied with everyone else. Now that you do have the time to sit back and analyze all of this, you are thinking....wow! I did so much for so many for so long, now what do I do? I am tired!!! Of course you are. I agree with you, make that drs appt. Make an appt to speak to a counselor who specializes in greiving and mourning. If you need to take anti depressants, go for it! That is why there are so many available. You have a great strong positive attitude, if you keep this up, you could beat it. But...if not there is help out there, and you have made the first step by admitting that you may be having a problem. Best of luck to you. Let us know how you make out. Peace be with you.
    Tina (also) :)
  • SamsWife
    SamsWife Member Posts: 50
    #4
    Tina Blondek said:

    Hi Tina
    I think that all of
    Hi Tina
    I think that all of this is finally hitting you. You have always been so active, so busy, so preoccupied with everyone else. Now that you do have the time to sit back and analyze all of this, you are thinking....wow! I did so much for so many for so long, now what do I do? I am tired!!! Of course you are. I agree with you, make that drs appt. Make an appt to speak to a counselor who specializes in greiving and mourning. If you need to take anti depressants, go for it! That is why there are so many available. You have a great strong positive attitude, if you keep this up, you could beat it. But...if not there is help out there, and you have made the first step by admitting that you may be having a problem. Best of luck to you. Let us know how you make out. Peace be with you.
    Tina (also) :)

    Hi,
    Thank you for your
    Hi,

    Thank you for your comments - I really appreciate it. I'm going to call the doc. tomorrow - I've been busy getting ready for my son's graduation - it was yesterday. I had a hard time preparing for it - cleaning and getting the food ready. Members of my family went and came back here for food and visiting afterwards and some of Sam's family were supposed to come but didn't show up. I'm not even going to dwell on the fact that I prepared enough food for them as well and they didn't even have the courtesy of calling to tell me they weren't coming because we had so much fun. Rob (my son) had a great day and we just had a really nice day with my family. That really lifted my spirits so I feel much better today!

    I truly appreciate both of you ladies and all of the love and support you offer to so many people on these discussion boards! I'm going to continue checking in from time to time and good luch to both of you as you continue on. I'll let you know how it goes with the doc.

    Lots of love - Tina (also!)
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
    SamsWife said:

    Hi,
    Thank you for your
    Hi,

    Thank you for your comments - I really appreciate it. I'm going to call the doc. tomorrow - I've been busy getting ready for my son's graduation - it was yesterday. I had a hard time preparing for it - cleaning and getting the food ready. Members of my family went and came back here for food and visiting afterwards and some of Sam's family were supposed to come but didn't show up. I'm not even going to dwell on the fact that I prepared enough food for them as well and they didn't even have the courtesy of calling to tell me they weren't coming because we had so much fun. Rob (my son) had a great day and we just had a really nice day with my family. That really lifted my spirits so I feel much better today!

    I truly appreciate both of you ladies and all of the love and support you offer to so many people on these discussion boards! I'm going to continue checking in from time to time and good luch to both of you as you continue on. I'll let you know how it goes with the doc.

    Lots of love - Tina (also!)

    Hi Tina
    Thanks for your
    Hi Tina
    Thanks for your recent update! Congratulations to your son for graduating! I was so happy to read that you actually had a "good" day and a "good" time! It is wonderful that your spirits have been lifted. These are the times we need to remember and rejoice in! Good luck at the dr. Keep in touch when you can. I will be thinking and praying for you and your continued progress!
    Tina

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