my husband just had his surgery earlier today

aguyswife
aguyswife Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Prostate Cancer #1
Okay... so my husband just had his DaVinci today. The surgery went fine. Minimal bleeding and cauterizing as per the Dr. He's had pain and spasms in the bladder.

Now what? He's 46, in otherwise good health. The fact that the prostate is gone is leaving me wondering how is the rest of his life affected? That made the testosterone. To you guys that have had it done and are back in the swing of things for the most part.. How are you mentally and physically doing?

I know this is a long road to recovery.. we're just trying to prepare. I'm just not sure of the right questions to ask.

Thanks-

Comments

  • jminnj
    jminnj Member Posts: 129 Member
    #2
    I just turned 48. Had my
    I just turned 48. Had my DaVinci back in January. I was decent health, got into better shape before the surgery. I was in the hospital one day, and within a month back to doing everything I was doing before the surgery.
    I think the physical part has been easier than the mental part. I still wrestle from time to time with the being ticked off that this even happened to me, but it is what it is and I have taken the approach that I was given this for a reason. To tell others about it and make them aware of the beast. The only other real stress mentally is the couple of days surrounding the follow up PSA tests. You go get the blood drawn and then sit and wait for the result hoping for a good number. The key to all of this to me is trying to get back into the routines of your life, going out to dinner, playing golf, doing yardwork, whatever it is you are passionate about and really enjoying them more now.
    So while there are some stresses, there is relief to some other stresses. I can tell you that when it comes to my job, while I am still diligent about it, I do not sweat all the little stuff that goes on in the office because I have more important things to think about (family, etc). I wish you both the best of luck as you move forward on this journey.
    Take Care and God Bless
    joe
  • Skid Row Tom
    Skid Row Tom Member Posts: 125
    #3
    What to expect
    Because he had DaVinci, his recovery time will obviously be much shorter. I would imagine he has three concerns: 1) Dealing with post-surgery discomfort. He's sore, he wants the catheter out, etc.; 2) The possibility of incontinence; 3) The possibility of ED. With numbers 2 and 3, he not only is hoping for a positive outcome, but he's worried about the the affects of these problems on you and your relationship. With the incontinence, he will have to wear pads and/or liners for a while. He will be dealing with humiliation and disgust. If the incontinence seems to lessen, he will be more positive and energized. If it doesn't, he will be dealing with some depression. With the ED, you mentioned a positive sign -- minimal loss of blood. I read a study that said they found a relationship between the amount of blood loss and ED. In my case, probably true. I lost a lot of blood, and consequently, things don't work well now. The doctor saved both nerve bundles in my case which is in my favor, but still .... . It may take 6 months (up to a year) before he knows the outcome to the incontinence and ED situations. Regardless of his "success", he (and you) will have to adjust to a "new normal". Be patient, be supportive, and good luck!
  • chitown
    chitown Member Posts: 90 Member
    #4
    Skid Row Tom said:

    What to expect
    Because he had DaVinci, his recovery time will obviously be much shorter. I would imagine he has three concerns: 1) Dealing with post-surgery discomfort. He's sore, he wants the catheter out, etc.; 2) The possibility of incontinence; 3) The possibility of ED. With numbers 2 and 3, he not only is hoping for a positive outcome, but he's worried about the the affects of these problems on you and your relationship. With the incontinence, he will have to wear pads and/or liners for a while. He will be dealing with humiliation and disgust. If the incontinence seems to lessen, he will be more positive and energized. If it doesn't, he will be dealing with some depression. With the ED, you mentioned a positive sign -- minimal loss of blood. I read a study that said they found a relationship between the amount of blood loss and ED. In my case, probably true. I lost a lot of blood, and consequently, things don't work well now. The doctor saved both nerve bundles in my case which is in my favor, but still .... . It may take 6 months (up to a year) before he knows the outcome to the incontinence and ED situations. Regardless of his "success", he (and you) will have to adjust to a "new normal". Be patient, be supportive, and good luck!

    what to expect
    I will be in the same boat as your husband on 6/15 when my surgery is scheduled.. so will appreciate yours and other feedback on post surgery recovery..mental and physical. Like JminnJ I am 48 also but what I have learned and understood mental, physical and sexual state prior to the surgery has the biggest relevance on the recovery..and then is there is rehab that you learn from other who are in that journey. The best way is to join a support group in your town. I have already been to one and is very helpful

    Also, testosterone is not produced by prostate..only semen. So no phyiscal change in libido should be happen. Check ED discussion for rehab in that area

    Good luck
  • gkoper
    gkoper Member Posts: 173
    #5
    aguyswife
    Your husband is young & should recover nicely. Kegals exercises will help in his regaining continence. Walking also will speed recovery. After one month I was back to my pre-
    surgery self.
    ED may not be an issue either. However, it may take some adjustment as even if the nerve bundles, that run down both side of the prostate gland are preserved, they often are tramatized and need time to heal. Could take up to a year or much less. Also, in my case, the dry ejaculations (no semen) & penile shrinkage" have taken some adjustments. Many men find success in combating ED with pills and/or vac. pumps. You of course will find usefull information & support on this site. With you by his side, your man should be back up to speed in a few weeks.
    George
  • 142
    142 Member Posts: 169
    #6
    After surgery
    Joe had some good comments from the point of view of a normal recovery - which is what we all hope for.

    Mine has been a little harder, as my PCa was found at a much-advanced state, and things are complicated (I am in Radiation therapy now, after DaVinci)

    However, unless there was extra surgery, or he is taking hormone therapy, the testosterone is not impacted. Different parts ;)
    What is impacted, are the nerves that control erections. The doctor can tell you if they were spared or not. If they were spared, there is a good chance that everything will, with time and care function again (minus seminal fluids). If they were not, there are medical "bypasses".
    This all needs a long discussion with the urologist (I am not a doctor), who can give a correct medical opinion. When you go for a review of the pathology report or the catheter removal would be a good time to corner them.

    There are a number of books out there that discuss the mechanics, and I would suggest that you buy or check out from the library a copy of Dr. Patrick Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer (2nd or 3rd Ed.)

    Another equally good, somewhat less dramatically detailed book, is Dr. Peter Scardino's Prostate Book.

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