Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Comments

  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #82
    Christine Louise said:

    I like your guts
    I wish I'd been honest about my distress when a good friend poo-pooed my early concerns about mastectomy and reconstruction. She said plenty of her acquaintences had had breast enhancement and nobody had numbness, etc. She wouldn't stop urging me to get big "boobies." I was disgusted and didn't try to make her understand the difference between cancer and a "boob job." I distanced myself from her and really hurt her feelings.

    Gradually, we got back together and she started to understand. Now she's one of my biggest supporters. So, who was "the bad guy" here? Me, I think, for being so non-confrontational. I've since told her that, yes, losing my hair is a big deal, and she got it and we moved on. It was no good being a little mousie and nursing my hurt in silence.

    Yes, well done Megan! You
    Yes, well done Megan! You took control of something that was really bothering you and fixed it. So happy for you!

    HUGS!
  • jphilpo
    jphilpo Member Posts: 177
    #83
    me too
    Hey Megan,

    I know just how you feel. One of my co-workers said to me"you're just not yourself. You were my right arm here at work and it's just not the same" I was shocked, but I said, " I have told you SO many times, that I am different, but it will get better. I'm not even a year out of treatment and I still have a bi-lateral mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction on June 14th. I told her to pretend that her"right arm" was broken and wearing a cast and that we both had to make do.

    Hang in there!
  • Balentine
    Balentine Member Posts: 393
    #84
    jphilpo said:

    me too
    Hey Megan,

    I know just how you feel. One of my co-workers said to me"you're just not yourself. You were my right arm here at work and it's just not the same" I was shocked, but I said, " I have told you SO many times, that I am different, but it will get better. I'm not even a year out of treatment and I still have a bi-lateral mastectomy with diep flap reconstruction on June 14th. I told her to pretend that her"right arm" was broken and wearing a cast and that we both had to make do.

    Hang in there!

    God is my strength and my hope
    I am overwhelmed by this one post how many have flocked here and this one post of Grrrrrrrrrrrr! is why we are all here......for comfort, strength, support and most of all UNDERSTANDING....no one and I mean no one who has not walked this road with us can fathom in their minds or hearts what this feels like....no one but God. He understands us and it altogether and is aquainted with all of our infirmities. It seems like most days now all I can do is go from my bible to this network and then back to my bible because my heart and mind and my health need a constant source of replenishing healing flow. That flow can only come from the sources of strength that only begin with having the experience themselves or someone who is omnipotent...all knowing which is God. Remember that God's word says that even the hairs on our head are numbered...He knows every single hair that everyone of us has lost and knows our deepest sorrows throughout our journeys. He has promised to carry us through this and bring us to a stronger place in our lives...a place where we can help the next victim of this horrible disease. So here we are....her for one another and I thank God for every one of you. May God bless each of you with His peace...a peace that passes all understanding. Speaking of source of replenishing healing flow...I extend to you the scripture from Revelations 21:6...I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things and I will be his God and he shall be My son.
    Love and hugs,
    Lorrie Balentine
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #85
    jphilpo said:

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    Hey Megan,

    I SO get what you are saying! It happens to me all the time. THIS is where you can vent, so never feel like you are complaining. We all care!

    Megan, I am so thrilled to
    Megan, I am so thrilled to see that you talked to your friends. I know how much it bothered you. And, I bet they really do understand now and you finally got this off of your chest. WTG bc sister!
  • il2read2
    il2read2 Member Posts: 29
    #86
    Megan M said:

    I did it!
    Just wanted to update all of you bc sisters! I finally got the courage to sit my girlfriend down and to explain, the best that I could, how her comment made me feel. It had been so much on my mind, and, I had to say something to her. I thought I could get past it, but, thru the weeks, everytime I would see her, it just popped back up, and, I knew I had to suck it up and explain to her. I actually called several of my girlfriends together so that I could let them all know how some of their remarks really hurt and affected me. And, they all listened very closely. By the time I was done, they were all in tears and giving me the biggest group hug ever. They all apologized and said they really had no idea how much what they might have said hurt me. I really wasn't looking for an apology, just some understanding, and, I think they do better now. Or, I hope so. Thank you again to all of you sweet, kind and understanding sisters! I hate being so sensitive, but, my cancer is still so new and still too fresh to me. But, I feel that I can finally move past the hurt I have been carrying now, and, just enjoy my friends, as I should.

    Hugs to all of you, Megan

    You go Girl!!
    I am fairly
    You go Girl!!

    I am fairly new to all of this. I was just DX on April 5. However, since that time, I have realized that most people have no idea what to say or do. I have been shocked at all the comments made to me that seemed to be insensitive. So far, it has made me feel different towards some people. Because of this, I am determined that my family and I will use this experience to help other people.

    Anyway... this is my venting tonight.

    Jan
  • Flakey_Flake
    Flakey_Flake Member Posts: 130
    #87
    Balentine said:

    God is my strength and my hope
    I am overwhelmed by this one post how many have flocked here and this one post of Grrrrrrrrrrrr! is why we are all here......for comfort, strength, support and most of all UNDERSTANDING....no one and I mean no one who has not walked this road with us can fathom in their minds or hearts what this feels like....no one but God. He understands us and it altogether and is aquainted with all of our infirmities. It seems like most days now all I can do is go from my bible to this network and then back to my bible because my heart and mind and my health need a constant source of replenishing healing flow. That flow can only come from the sources of strength that only begin with having the experience themselves or someone who is omnipotent...all knowing which is God. Remember that God's word says that even the hairs on our head are numbered...He knows every single hair that everyone of us has lost and knows our deepest sorrows throughout our journeys. He has promised to carry us through this and bring us to a stronger place in our lives...a place where we can help the next victim of this horrible disease. So here we are....her for one another and I thank God for every one of you. May God bless each of you with His peace...a peace that passes all understanding. Speaking of source of replenishing healing flow...I extend to you the scripture from Revelations 21:6...I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things and I will be his God and he shall be My son.
    Love and hugs,
    Lorrie Balentine

    Change
    Balentine

    This is my first reading of this thread. Thank you so much for bringing God into the picture. He has brought me through so very many trials, and after each one, I have been changed. It is God's way.

    I have just finished chemo and rads. My hair isn't quite ready for public display, but have a tendancy to pop off the head cover when one of those hot flashes come. I am between here and there.

    When friends hear that I have passed a few milestones in this journey, the also say "Aren't you glad to get back to normal?" I have no problem saying to them "Yes, but it is a new normal." and then go on to explain that one never is the same after something like this. It isn't hard to find correlations - childbirth, divorce, death of parents, defeating an addiction, so many things bring us to a new existance. It is all a part of growth, and change is a part of life. I will never be ashamed of my changes. And they hae been many and profound. But they are all a part of me, and a part of me that God loves. Does the many plants and animals God created complain about the changes they go through? They stand with confidence in how they are, and never apologize for bearing fruit, or growing taller, or going from cocoon to beautiful butterfly. Change is how we grow and become better. (well, hopefully better) People try to bring us up by saying that our lives are "back to normal." They don't understand, and I didn't understand this whole cancer thing until I went through it. Now I do. I have changed, and it is all for the better. I have experienced something that I can use to help others. Change is a difficult thing for us. But it is a neccesary thing or else we would become nothing more than stagnant pond scum. I now embrace life as never before. I have more confidence in myself and know better how to help others. This journey is good for something in each of our lives. We just need to see how. And God's guidence will always light our paths.

    Okay - I'm sure I've offended someone out there. Too bad. This is how I am. God made me this way, and I will never be ashamed of God's works. May not always understand, but never ashamed of a tough battle, and God's guidance. If others say something that I feel is wrong, I will do my best to explain how things are, and without judgement. Most people are genuinely affectionate in their reactions, just a little misguided. We all are in some way or another. But we can't do anything about it without change, now can we?

    Okay - off my soap box now. Peace and Happy Mother's Day!
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #88
    Flakey_Flake said:

    Change
    Balentine

    This is my first reading of this thread. Thank you so much for bringing God into the picture. He has brought me through so very many trials, and after each one, I have been changed. It is God's way.

    I have just finished chemo and rads. My hair isn't quite ready for public display, but have a tendancy to pop off the head cover when one of those hot flashes come. I am between here and there.

    When friends hear that I have passed a few milestones in this journey, the also say "Aren't you glad to get back to normal?" I have no problem saying to them "Yes, but it is a new normal." and then go on to explain that one never is the same after something like this. It isn't hard to find correlations - childbirth, divorce, death of parents, defeating an addiction, so many things bring us to a new existance. It is all a part of growth, and change is a part of life. I will never be ashamed of my changes. And they hae been many and profound. But they are all a part of me, and a part of me that God loves. Does the many plants and animals God created complain about the changes they go through? They stand with confidence in how they are, and never apologize for bearing fruit, or growing taller, or going from cocoon to beautiful butterfly. Change is how we grow and become better. (well, hopefully better) People try to bring us up by saying that our lives are "back to normal." They don't understand, and I didn't understand this whole cancer thing until I went through it. Now I do. I have changed, and it is all for the better. I have experienced something that I can use to help others. Change is a difficult thing for us. But it is a neccesary thing or else we would become nothing more than stagnant pond scum. I now embrace life as never before. I have more confidence in myself and know better how to help others. This journey is good for something in each of our lives. We just need to see how. And God's guidence will always light our paths.

    Okay - I'm sure I've offended someone out there. Too bad. This is how I am. God made me this way, and I will never be ashamed of God's works. May not always understand, but never ashamed of a tough battle, and God's guidance. If others say something that I feel is wrong, I will do my best to explain how things are, and without judgement. Most people are genuinely affectionate in their reactions, just a little misguided. We all are in some way or another. But we can't do anything about it without change, now can we?

    Okay - off my soap box now. Peace and Happy Mother's Day!

    You are all so amazing and
    You are all so amazing and so wonderful! I love you all! I felt so good after talking to my girlfriends and telling them how I felt. And, after reading all of your posts to me, I even felt better! Thank you my sisters in pink!


    Love, Megan
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #89
    Megan M said:

    You are all so amazing and
    You are all so amazing and so wonderful! I love you all! I felt so good after talking to my girlfriends and telling them how I felt. And, after reading all of your posts to me, I even felt better! Thank you my sisters in pink!


    Love, Megan

    Really proud of what you did Megan. I think more of us should do that. It took guts to talk to all of them especially at once. LOL Hope everything goes better for you now.
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #90
    Balentine said:

    God is my strength and my hope
    I am overwhelmed by this one post how many have flocked here and this one post of Grrrrrrrrrrrr! is why we are all here......for comfort, strength, support and most of all UNDERSTANDING....no one and I mean no one who has not walked this road with us can fathom in their minds or hearts what this feels like....no one but God. He understands us and it altogether and is aquainted with all of our infirmities. It seems like most days now all I can do is go from my bible to this network and then back to my bible because my heart and mind and my health need a constant source of replenishing healing flow. That flow can only come from the sources of strength that only begin with having the experience themselves or someone who is omnipotent...all knowing which is God. Remember that God's word says that even the hairs on our head are numbered...He knows every single hair that everyone of us has lost and knows our deepest sorrows throughout our journeys. He has promised to carry us through this and bring us to a stronger place in our lives...a place where we can help the next victim of this horrible disease. So here we are....her for one another and I thank God for every one of you. May God bless each of you with His peace...a peace that passes all understanding. Speaking of source of replenishing healing flow...I extend to you the scripture from Revelations 21:6...I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things and I will be his God and he shall be My son.
    Love and hugs,
    Lorrie Balentine

    I love what you wrote too
    I love what you wrote too Lorrie! Thank you for it!
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    #91
    Yeah, I get what your saying
    Yeah, I get what your saying too. It's an ongoing kind of thing. Living life to the fullest without being consumed with nagging thoughts of recurrence. Tough act to juggle.
    BL
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #92
    Bella Luna said:

    Yeah, I get what your saying
    Yeah, I get what your saying too. It's an ongoing kind of thing. Living life to the fullest without being consumed with nagging thoughts of recurrence. Tough act to juggle.
    BL

    ♥ Megan ♥
    Megan, what you did in telling your girlfriends how what they said made you feel was very brave of you, and, so very necessary. It is so hard for anyone that hasn't been down our road with bc to totally understand. I truly think that most try to, but, it next to impossible. That is why your honesty in showing them how they made you feel was so very important. I hope that by your doing so, it has taken a load off of your mind. Praying for continued health and a better understanding from your friends for you!

    Love, Jeanne ♥
  • Scotch Freckles
    Scotch Freckles Member Posts: 273 Member
    #93
    I am myself
    Megan

    Just think of I am myself and no one else. We all changed and hopefully for the better. I still joke around and keep folks around me laughing. Inside I wonder if and when will the cancer return. It is a daily struggle but having been introduced to this web site and knowing I am not the only one struggleing helps. Those who have not been down our path are not being insenitive it is just they are not familuar with this unknown struggle all those who have had cancer go through daily. Go lightly, smile, and know we all feel your struggle.
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #94
    Balentine said:

    God is my strength and my hope
    I am overwhelmed by this one post how many have flocked here and this one post of Grrrrrrrrrrrr! is why we are all here......for comfort, strength, support and most of all UNDERSTANDING....no one and I mean no one who has not walked this road with us can fathom in their minds or hearts what this feels like....no one but God. He understands us and it altogether and is aquainted with all of our infirmities. It seems like most days now all I can do is go from my bible to this network and then back to my bible because my heart and mind and my health need a constant source of replenishing healing flow. That flow can only come from the sources of strength that only begin with having the experience themselves or someone who is omnipotent...all knowing which is God. Remember that God's word says that even the hairs on our head are numbered...He knows every single hair that everyone of us has lost and knows our deepest sorrows throughout our journeys. He has promised to carry us through this and bring us to a stronger place in our lives...a place where we can help the next victim of this horrible disease. So here we are....her for one another and I thank God for every one of you. May God bless each of you with His peace...a peace that passes all understanding. Speaking of source of replenishing healing flow...I extend to you the scripture from Revelations 21:6...I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things and I will be his God and he shall be My son.
    Love and hugs,
    Lorrie Balentine

    All of you helped me so much
    All of you helped me so much to get thru how I felt. I thought maybe this thread might help someone else too. Thank you all of you!
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #95
    Scotch Freckles said:

    I am myself
    Megan

    Just think of I am myself and no one else. We all changed and hopefully for the better. I still joke around and keep folks around me laughing. Inside I wonder if and when will the cancer return. It is a daily struggle but having been introduced to this web site and knowing I am not the only one struggleing helps. Those who have not been down our path are not being insenitive it is just they are not familuar with this unknown struggle all those who have had cancer go through daily. Go lightly, smile, and know we all feel your struggle.

    I love what you wrote Scotch
    I love what you wrote Scotch Freckles - I am myself and no one else! And, you are so right, it is a daily struggle, but, you just have to put it in the back of your head and enjoy this beautiful life we have!
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #96
    roseann4 said:

    It's never over...
    I wish it could be over. Onc visits every 3 months, frightening mammos every 6 months and don't get me started on the Arimidex side effects. I'm fatter and crabbier than ever before. It has been a rough year and lots is behind me but like the rest of you I'm clear about my mortality and try to make the most of each day. I'm not bitter but it is odd that people are surprized that I still come to the website and read about cancer. We've been tramatized and that doesn't go away with the end of our treatments. In fact, it can be more of a challenge when there is nothing more we can do but wait and hope it doesn't hit again. Hugs to all.

    Roseann

    Amen sister. Im hoping that
    Amen sister. Im hoping that the "heavy" thoughts lighten up. Maybe not think of it allll the time. I've finished all treatments, but it seems that the treatments still exsist. Drs visits, daily meds, tests and the " oh, whats this bump?" lol We are at least here for each other. Thanks to all you wonderful women, and yes, you few men for giving me inspiration and hope. Gayla
  • Scotch Freckles
    Scotch Freckles Member Posts: 273 Member
    #97
    Katz77 said:

    Amen sister. Im hoping that
    Amen sister. Im hoping that the "heavy" thoughts lighten up. Maybe not think of it allll the time. I've finished all treatments, but it seems that the treatments still exsist. Drs visits, daily meds, tests and the " oh, whats this bump?" lol We are at least here for each other. Thanks to all you wonderful women, and yes, you few men for giving me inspiration and hope. Gayla

    Last Day at Dr. was wonderful
    I still remember all the Dr. visits and wished I didn't have to go so often. Everyone who worked in the Dr.s offices were great. But, on my last visit on my way out the door I told all good bye, it's been nice knowning you all, it's not that I don't care about you all, but I am out of here, bye......That was April 1, 2007, and yes it never ends.

    I read a lot of the messages and sometimes feel guilty that I was so fortunate to have caught my tumor quickely, had a lumpectomy before the turmor had time to generate nerve endings or blood vessels. But remember deeply my surgeon's apology of not getting me in sooner because on a scale of good, bad, and ugly, I had ugly and it was only a matter of days before ugly turned into deceased. To this day, even if I had an enemy I wouldn't wish chemo on anyone. But, I never make it through a day without wondering will or when the ugly dragon will rear it's head again.

    I learned a long time ago laughter is the best medicine. There is humor in everything if you let it happen. We laugh alot everyday. I tell a lot of ladies, laugh, dance, sing a little song, dance in the rain, enjoy life as if it is the first sunny day of your life.

    Just remember friends and family are not being insensitive, it's that they are relieved you are doing well, back in the circle of friends and family, and really don't know how to express their feelings to you, not familur with your new concerns of how you are dealing with life changes. Hang in there, there are plenty of us to help tickly your funny bone.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #98
    susie09 said:

    I love what you wrote Scotch
    I love what you wrote Scotch Freckles - I am myself and no one else! And, you are so right, it is a daily struggle, but, you just have to put it in the back of your head and enjoy this beautiful life we have!

    Between your original
    Between your original GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR post in February and your latest post about how you handled it; I think it is fair to say that you put the GRRRRRRRRRRR in Girl-Power!


    I am proud to know you!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #99
    DianeBC said:

    Like everyone says, it is
    Like everyone says, it is hard, if not impossible to go back to the way we were. But, we need to realize that we beat the beast and find that new us and maybe become even better. Realize how lucky we are to have survived it and to really look into enjoying our future's even more. I, as others, fall into the slump of where I feel sorry for myself to, but, I try to pull out of it as quickly as I can. I am sorry that what your friend said upset you. People that haven't been thru what we have, just don't understand. Hope you feel better Megan!

    Megan, your post is so much
    Megan, your post is so much of what we all go thru with our friends, coworkers and families. It was great that you finally got it off of your chest and confronted your friends. I bet it has even made your friendships better and made you feel better too. Continued good health to you!
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #100
    chenheart said:

    Between your original
    Between your original GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR post in February and your latest post about how you handled it; I think it is fair to say that you put the GRRRRRRRRRRR in Girl-Power!


    I am proud to know you!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Ronda, this is the post that
    Ronda, this is the post that might help you some. I hope so.

    Hugs, Megan
  • 2Floridiansisters
    2Floridiansisters Member Posts: 384 Member
    #101
    Megan M said:

    Ronda, this is the post that
    Ronda, this is the post that might help you some. I hope so.

    Hugs, Megan

    Hi Megan
    Thanks for bumping this thread up, I just got on the computer so I'm going to read this now, I appreciate your doing so. Looks like I am not the only one who feels as I do.

    Love Ronda

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