Phantom Farting.......

Buzzard
Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
OK, I have had my backside sewn shut and I lean over to the left this evening to fart like I use to and my wife looks at me and asks "what do you think your doing ?"..I informed her that I was having a phantom fart pain and was going to phantom fart. I actually haven't done this since surgery 2 years ago. Why now I wonder after so long would my muscle memory try and "squeeze one out"?

just tryin to lighten it up in here a little.........but true story

Comments

  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #2
    haha!
    How funny!

    Since I haven't been sewn up myself, I can't relate to the phantom farting feeling, but I pictured that as I was reading what you wrote- lol!

    Thanks for sharing & may the farts be with you! :)

    Lisa
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #3
    Clift
    you're a gas!
  • khl8
    khl8 Member Posts: 807
    #4
    PhillieG said:

    Clift
    you're a gas!

    I laughed so hard that I
    I laughed so hard that I think one may have slipped out!!! I so needed this laughter this morning!!!!!
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824 Member
    #5
    Phantom Farting?
    As Popeye would say "Well blow me down!"

    -Pat
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #6
    PhillieG said:

    Clift
    you're a gas!

    Buzz
    "the answer is blowin in the wind"

    mags
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    #7
    lisa42 said:

    haha!
    How funny!

    Since I haven't been sewn up myself, I can't relate to the phantom farting feeling, but I pictured that as I was reading what you wrote- lol!

    Thanks for sharing & may the farts be with you! :)

    Lisa

    And sometimes it feels so real, like you're truely gonna fart or
    drop a solid one but then the feeling vanishes and you get back to reality and your bag! Eight months ago you and others here taught me this was normal, which I found to be true. Yet sometimes that old feeling does comes back and it does feel sooo real and natural for a second or three,but nothing happens back there afterwards. Actually, it would be quite a medical feat if suddenly we released any matter, gas, liquid or solid from our sewn up rectums....If that were the case, we can bomb 'em from front and back!!!!!


    For all those just joining or about to join the ranks of us ostomates,You can live a life worth living with a stoma and a bag........

    High Clift, hope all is well.........steve
  • khl8
    khl8 Member Posts: 807
    #8
    Jaylo969 said:

    Phantom Farting?
    As Popeye would say "Well blow me down!"

    -Pat

    Love it when someone uses
    Love it when someone uses the word fart or poop and the board just lights up with all the comments!
    Kathy
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    #9
    khl8 said:

    Love it when someone uses
    Love it when someone uses the word fart or poop and the board just lights up with all the comments!
    Kathy

    Its something about what I call "assinine" humor.....
    (or assofmine humor)But its amazing how crucial bowel movements, form, texture,size,etc can be at times in one's life.....Enjoy the day.....too bad we can't sychronize/coordinate our moment of release and aim the results at that oil spill to zap the oil to harmlessness......steve
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #10
    Overwhelming internal flatulence


    Time to enter politics, my friend!
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    #11
    coloCan said:

    Its something about what I call "assinine" humor.....
    (or assofmine humor)But its amazing how crucial bowel movements, form, texture,size,etc can be at times in one's life.....Enjoy the day.....too bad we can't sychronize/coordinate our moment of release and aim the results at that oil spill to zap the oil to harmlessness......steve

    This could be a world-changing idea
    Many of the world's problems could be solved with your method Steve !

    Sort of like Ghost Busters - but we could call it Fart Busters.
  • zenmonk
    zenmonk Member Posts: 198
    #12
    phantoms
    I often feel like I need to drop a duece but my exit has been closed for quite some time now. My doctor said it was something like when you lose a leg and have phantom pains. When it does happen it brings back fond memories. I often sit on the toilet just because. Its a quite spot and for some reason I still do it and read but since I have a colostomy I guess it doesnt make much sense. So I guess I could say I am taking a phantom you know what.
  • RickMurtagh
    RickMurtagh Member Posts: 587 Member
    #13
    Hoping
    Here's hoping your phantom fart was as satisfying as my first (and so far only) fart post takedown (and I did not even have to change my Depends!)
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #14
    Farting
    Know what you mean. When I had my ileostomy for the longest time the feeling of having to go to the bathroom was so real that just sitting on the toilet was the only way that feeling would go away. Heard that this is pretty common, like someone said, loosing a limb. You still have a tendency to feel that way once in a while.

    Kim
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #15
    I'm laughing so hard!
    I'm crying!!!

    Thanks for the bellylaugh, dearheart!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #16
    KathiM said:

    I'm laughing so hard!
    I'm crying!!!

    Thanks for the bellylaugh, dearheart!!!

    Hugs, Kathi

    I can't imagine....

    Taking these probiotics and I am gassing away can not think it if not having any escape!!! Got a balloon!! lol
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #17
    KathiM said:

    I'm laughing so hard!
    I'm crying!!!

    Thanks for the bellylaugh, dearheart!!!

    Hugs, Kathi

    I can't imagine....

    Taking these probiotics and I am gassing away can not think it if not having any escape!!! Got a balloon!! lol
  • Nana2
    Nana2 Member Posts: 255
    #18
    Too funny

    Too funny
  • coolvdub
    coolvdub Member Posts: 408 Member
    #19
    Nana2 said:

    Too funny

    Too funny

    I'm 18 days into my
    I'm 18 days into my Ileostomy, and they aren't phantom for me just yet. Doctor says rectal BM and gas are normal immediately following surgery, so when I get the urge, I head to the bathroom. Just in case. But this post gave me a morning chuckle.

    Don
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #20
    coolvdub said:

    I'm 18 days into my
    I'm 18 days into my Ileostomy, and they aren't phantom for me just yet. Doctor says rectal BM and gas are normal immediately following surgery, so when I get the urge, I head to the bathroom. Just in case. But this post gave me a morning chuckle.

    Don

    I
    Am not sewn up, but get those phantom farts ALL the time, and actually a few times, it went through, and it usually goes through my bag, I got so scared I had to call the Dr.'s to make sure it was ok, and normal, and she even said it was ok, even if poop came out of the butt instead of the bag, not too worry, I said to her I didn't want to be a "2 way pooping system" LOL...that would freak me out if poop came out of there, you gave me such a laugh my bro!

    Your sis,

    ~Donna
  • greybeard64
    greybeard64 Member Posts: 254
    #21
    Again
    Thanks for posting Buzz, I can always count on you to keep things in perspective. I have to tell you though, sitting in a quite room all alone and suddenly laughing out loud made me feel a little strange, only the first time though, now not so much.
    thanks Buzz!
    chris

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