Welcome to Hogwarts~ A Primer for the New Ones not finding much emotional support at work and with "

13

Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #42
    Megan M said:

    Why do you keep bumping this
    Why do you keep bumping this up?

    Only one reason I bump this~
    Only because new ones post wondering about the reactions they are getting from friends and families, and I was asked to bump this up to help them out! And, as we all know from the boards, things have a way of being swallowed up and ending up on page 2 or three in a matter of hours! Personally, I don't mind that this is relegated to a back page! LOL But I have gotten some PMs requesting it be shared regularly. I noticed someone just yesterday being frustrated by the lack of fellow-feeling at work, and losing some of their friends. And, as I mentioned, it needn't be read by anyone who has already seen it! Heaven knows I don't re-read it! :-)

    I think I will just let this one float through the boards~ someone else can bump it if they want to! I've seen it a gazillion times myself! HAHAHA! Enough already! :-)

    Hugs,
    Chen
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #43
    It was suggested I bump this
    It was suggested I bump this up to welcome our new sisters to the boards!
  • Cindy Ann
    Cindy Ann Member Posts: 101
    #44
    chenheart said:

    Only one reason I bump this~
    Only because new ones post wondering about the reactions they are getting from friends and families, and I was asked to bump this up to help them out! And, as we all know from the boards, things have a way of being swallowed up and ending up on page 2 or three in a matter of hours! Personally, I don't mind that this is relegated to a back page! LOL But I have gotten some PMs requesting it be shared regularly. I noticed someone just yesterday being frustrated by the lack of fellow-feeling at work, and losing some of their friends. And, as I mentioned, it needn't be read by anyone who has already seen it! Heaven knows I don't re-read it! :-)

    I think I will just let this one float through the boards~ someone else can bump it if they want to! I've seen it a gazillion times myself! HAHAHA! Enough already! :-)

    Hugs,
    Chen

    Hogwarts Club
    Thank you so much for the post. Today another friend turned away. Fear? Don't know what to say.Just a newbie yet. I am tired of making excuses for my family and friends.When I read your post I said I wish they could get it like Chen does, I wish I could make then understand as everyone else on this site does. No one around me gets why I feel teary eyed, or depressed, or just plain quiet.I withdraw within myself drawing strength from within. So thank you for helping not only me but others feel not so alone. Just knowing others get it helps.If I have to be in a club this one is the best yet..

    Sad only for a minute, Cindy Ann
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #45
    Cindy Ann said:

    Hogwarts Club
    Thank you so much for the post. Today another friend turned away. Fear? Don't know what to say.Just a newbie yet. I am tired of making excuses for my family and friends.When I read your post I said I wish they could get it like Chen does, I wish I could make then understand as everyone else on this site does. No one around me gets why I feel teary eyed, or depressed, or just plain quiet.I withdraw within myself drawing strength from within. So thank you for helping not only me but others feel not so alone. Just knowing others get it helps.If I have to be in a club this one is the best yet..

    Sad only for a minute, Cindy Ann

    If you had to be sad, I'm
    If you had to be sad, I'm glad it was "only for a minute"...much as we never wanted to be here, we do indeed get it, don't we? And that bonds us in ways that some people will never experience. It is not an upside of cancer, but an upside of making caring friends!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • anniem123
    anniem123 Member Posts: 19
    #46
    chenheart said:

    It was suggested I bump this
    It was suggested I bump this up to welcome our new sisters to the boards!

    I had to laugh
    As I started to read this i was crying feeling sorry for myself. by the time I finished I was laughing. Thank you so much! I am a 7 week newbe and it is so wonderful that others have the same problems, questions,etc that I have. Your analogy of us being at hogwarts was genius. I related to it perfectly. An outcast to non-cancer friends. They are drifting away. But I am finding new friends here. Everyone is a blessing.

    Outcast Rain Witch
    (trying to come up with a hogsworth name)
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #47
    hogwarts
    WOW, I just read this!! You are very creative, and this is something we can all fit in to.
    I have felt many times that people I have worked with for years now shun me, like they are afraid or something. It always hurts me.
    Your entry is perfect, and I feel like I am one of the "shy ones" or "troubled ones".
    Thank you for your story!! I love it.
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
    #48
    lizzie17 said:

    hogwarts
    WOW, I just read this!! You are very creative, and this is something we can all fit in to.
    I have felt many times that people I have worked with for years now shun me, like they are afraid or something. It always hurts me.
    Your entry is perfect, and I feel like I am one of the "shy ones" or "troubled ones".
    Thank you for your story!! I love it.

    I am the one who keeps asking Chen to bump this up
    every 2 or 3 months. It's for all the newcomers. When I first read this I was already finished with treatment but it is so inspirational and full of wonderful, necessary humor and wished I had been able to read this last summer when I was going thru the diagnosis process, lurking on this board, too shy to join in. So I hope all of the newcomers can get the same feeling I got only in the beginning of their journey.

    Again, I thank you Chen. Even tho I have this saved in my Favorites, I never get tired of reading it. And I can see by the responses you get that most people "get it" and appreciate your humor and can see this really hits home.

    Hugs, Judy :-)
  • 2Floridiansisters
    2Floridiansisters Member Posts: 384 Member
    #49
    Skeezie said:

    I am the one who keeps asking Chen to bump this up
    every 2 or 3 months. It's for all the newcomers. When I first read this I was already finished with treatment but it is so inspirational and full of wonderful, necessary humor and wished I had been able to read this last summer when I was going thru the diagnosis process, lurking on this board, too shy to join in. So I hope all of the newcomers can get the same feeling I got only in the beginning of their journey.

    Again, I thank you Chen. Even tho I have this saved in my Favorites, I never get tired of reading it. And I can see by the responses you get that most people "get it" and appreciate your humor and can see this really hits home.

    Hugs, Judy :-)

    I never did have a loving family,
    and now I do. Thank you for the open arms, I gladly accept the hugs and the ecouragement that I am getting since coming here. I'm finding strength in every one of you. I'm sorry you ladies had to walk down this path at all. None of you know me but you know the nightmare my life has become. From the bottom of my heart I say "thank you" that you care about how I'm doing.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #50
    2Floridiansisters said:

    I never did have a loving family,
    and now I do. Thank you for the open arms, I gladly accept the hugs and the ecouragement that I am getting since coming here. I'm finding strength in every one of you. I'm sorry you ladies had to walk down this path at all. None of you know me but you know the nightmare my life has become. From the bottom of my heart I say "thank you" that you care about how I'm doing.

    We actually do know you~ one
    We actually do know you~ one of the quotes I happily stole was "you are our past, and we are your future"...you will wake up from the nightmare and find that there is indeed Life After Cancer, and the bonds you make here may fade, but they will never be erased. We are connected with heartstrings.

    Hugs,
    chen♥
  • Cindy Ann
    Cindy Ann Member Posts: 101
    #51
    chenheart said:

    We actually do know you~ one
    We actually do know you~ one of the quotes I happily stole was "you are our past, and we are your future"...you will wake up from the nightmare and find that there is indeed Life After Cancer, and the bonds you make here may fade, but they will never be erased. We are connected with heartstrings.

    Hugs,
    chen♥

    Thank You Chen and Skeezie for Bumping This!
    You know how much it means to us newbies to see that others also have friends turning away, bad minutes that last into days, and bad family members. It helps to be reminded that we are all the same no one here is different some of us just deal with different situations at different times. We all have a simple thing in common. We just wanted to be treated normally. No more no less. I feel my BC is becoming the biggest lesson of my life. For me I plan to use all I learn and feel to help others when I am in a better place. I hate this beast. I mean hate it.. But I plan to make life better because of it. As for those friends turning away. They too will face their beast one day and I will forgive them and open my arms wide. Because the beast wins if you change who you truly are. So all you out there don't hate those who turn away, drift away, or plain just say I can't be your friend. Because one day they too will face their own beast. You having faced yours will teach the meaning of being a true friend.. If you chose too. Some of these people may never enter back into your life. But newbies like me will. Be my friend. Hold my hand. Dry my tears. Remind me it is never hopeless.

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cindy Ann
  • KayNYC
    KayNYC Member Posts: 495 Member
    #52
    From a freshman
    I first read this in March when I entered this school of Pink warriors. Reading it again, now one week to completion of radiation treatment, I find it as fitting and heartwarming as I did that first night that I signed into the boards for the first time. Thank you Claudia for such creative use of a book/movie analogy. I loved the Harry Potter books and movies!
    Hugs, K
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #53
    KayNYC said:

    From a freshman
    I first read this in March when I entered this school of Pink warriors. Reading it again, now one week to completion of radiation treatment, I find it as fitting and heartwarming as I did that first night that I signed into the boards for the first time. Thank you Claudia for such creative use of a book/movie analogy. I loved the Harry Potter books and movies!
    Hugs, K

    One week to completion of
    One week to completion of radiation treatment! Now that is a milestone to be celebrated! Especially when we think back to the day of diagnosis, and the fear coupled with decisons needing to be made~ did you think you would be a week out of radiation completion?!
    Nice to be putting one more phase of beast battling behind you, isn't it? Congratulations to you! ( and thank you for the nice words as well ) :-)

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • greyhoundluvr
    greyhoundluvr Member Posts: 402
    #54
    ChenHeart
    I agree with the others - tears, laughter and lots of insight! I have been blessed in so many ways and yet that doesn't stop the pain of a friendhsip lost. I have one particular work friend who lives in another state. We have shared life events for 10 years. I didn't advertise at work what type of surgery I was having (silly me - I thought it was surgery and then just wait to have the reconstruction done). When he found out I was out of work, he called every few days wanting to know what was going on but it took me a couple of weeks to be ready to talk about it. He is a nurse also so I knew he could handle the information and finally I filled him in. I haven't heard from him since....I realize that maybe this is too much or too "female" for him to handle but given some of our conversations in the past, I didn't expect this. I try to remember all the wonderful people I do have in my life and be thankful that I don't have too many Muggles to worry about.

    Thank you for sharing!
  • MOrtiz0810
    MOrtiz0810 Member Posts: 41
    #55
    Very Uplifting!
    As a scared freshman coming in to Hogwarts, I thank you for that warm and uplifting welcome!
  • Balentine
    Balentine Member Posts: 393
    #56
    MOrtiz0810 said:

    Very Uplifting!
    As a scared freshman coming in to Hogwarts, I thank you for that warm and uplifting welcome!

    It is good to know we are not alone
    This journey has changed my life and relationships so much in just 5 months. As you stated...people just don't treat you the same. They look at you funny, ask you stupid questions like...are you ok? They look at your breasts to see if they can tell which one is your prosthesis. And even your own family begins to distance themselves in certain ways because you look different with no breast and no hair and because even they don't know what to say or do for you. They get frustrated with you because you are always tired or crying and getting overly upset about just about everything that goes wrong. They look at you like they are about to have you committed somewhere. I never thought my own family would feel different about me, but sadly they do. They try to avoid being around me as much as possible. If it were not for you all and the Lord, I would feel very, very alone right now. Thank you all so much for your strength, laughter and support. I love you all and God bless!
    Lorrie
  • kate33
    kate33 Member Posts: 24
    #57
    Hogwart's
    I love your writing style-very witty. I guess I am a "freshman" on this site but I'm about to "graduate" so I guess you could say I was home schooled! I had a NSM in March and am just a few weeks out now from my exchange surgery.

    I like thinking that the clueless around us are just Muggles. It makes them seem less irritating and actually quite ordinary. You almost feel sorry for them. Thanks for the new point of view! :)
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #58
    kate33 said:

    Hogwart's
    I love your writing style-very witty. I guess I am a "freshman" on this site but I'm about to "graduate" so I guess you could say I was home schooled! I had a NSM in March and am just a few weeks out now from my exchange surgery.

    I like thinking that the clueless around us are just Muggles. It makes them seem less irritating and actually quite ordinary. You almost feel sorry for them. Thanks for the new point of view! :)

    Home schoolers still get to
    Home schoolers still get to come to the graduation ceremonies, reunions, and join in the
    holiday ornament exchange! Congrats on the progress you are making~I wish you a glorious, healthy, happy, long cancer-free life!

    I am glad you can think of the Muggles as almost to be pitied ordinary folks! We have enough on our plates without having to negotiate our way around them too!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Hope 2010
    Hope 2010 Member Posts: 62
    #59
    Smiles :)
    Your story is so on target. I love it. It is a scary time and reading that just brought a smile to my face, having someone know what I -- we're all -- are going through. I feel like I'm still waiting for the sorting hat to determine which group I'm in, but knowing that I can talk to anyone at Hogwarts. Once I go through the sorting hat, I'm a afraid of thes moving staircases. I hope I pick the right stairs (make the right decisions) and continue on to the right path.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #60
    Hope 2010 said:

    Smiles :)
    Your story is so on target. I love it. It is a scary time and reading that just brought a smile to my face, having someone know what I -- we're all -- are going through. I feel like I'm still waiting for the sorting hat to determine which group I'm in, but knowing that I can talk to anyone at Hogwarts. Once I go through the sorting hat, I'm a afraid of thes moving staircases. I hope I pick the right stairs (make the right decisions) and continue on to the right path.

    Well, the good thing about
    Well, the good thing about Hogwarts is that we will help you negotiate the moving staircases, and even help you adjust your hat if need be! You are safe with us and we are even having a Pep Rally later today! LOL

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Cindy Ann
    Cindy Ann Member Posts: 101
    #61
    greyhoundluvr said:

    ChenHeart
    I agree with the others - tears, laughter and lots of insight! I have been blessed in so many ways and yet that doesn't stop the pain of a friendhsip lost. I have one particular work friend who lives in another state. We have shared life events for 10 years. I didn't advertise at work what type of surgery I was having (silly me - I thought it was surgery and then just wait to have the reconstruction done). When he found out I was out of work, he called every few days wanting to know what was going on but it took me a couple of weeks to be ready to talk about it. He is a nurse also so I knew he could handle the information and finally I filled him in. I haven't heard from him since....I realize that maybe this is too much or too "female" for him to handle but given some of our conversations in the past, I didn't expect this. I try to remember all the wonderful people I do have in my life and be thankful that I don't have too many Muggles to worry about.

    Thank you for sharing!

    We all Find out About Muggles
    I am a nurse. So let me apologize for my fellow nurse. Must of forgot his empathy along the way. I too had my dearest friend a medical asst never speak to me again after I told her I have breast cancer. Broke my heart. I do not understand why telling someone 2 words can make them lose their minds in such a way they cannot even call and just say "Hello?" I think of a it all as a learning experience. I too am grateful for not too many Muggles. But the ones we do encounter sure do break our hearts. Unfortuantely for them they too will one day face a beast as we do today and lets hope that we can be the Hogwarts for them..I will always take the high road.I look at it as we are the people who light the way for the Muggles of the world..

    This story is just all to common.. So sad!!!

    Cindy Ann

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