SAD

PhillieG said:

OK
So the comments "we each have a different story" and the suggestion that we show tolerance to how other chose to battle their disease are out of line and offensive to some of you?

And calling each other "stupid" and arguing who is right and wrong about treatment and how to help people get through cancer is not offensive and helps new people coming here for guidance from our experiences?

NOW I Get it! Name calling and arguing is the way to help people!
Boy, do I feel stupid! All this time I thought it was about offering experience and support.

Ironically...
chemotheraphy is used in China to treat cancer. It's used in conjunction with TCM - numerous studies on the internet.

imagineit2010 said:

Wow that will remove about half the questions on here since about half are ASKING for advise. And about 2/3 of the people on here are more than glad to freely GIVE advise. Does anyone know where someone can go to get advise on the internet? There are ALOT of people out there that are scared and aren't getting help from their doctors. Now, I see the value of consoling a "virtual" friend but most people CAME here looking for advise not a shoulder to cry on. This site is not always a sounding board but any online forum leans that way occasionally. That's the nature of the beast. Tell me what support can you give me when I'm not sure about my treatment? I guess everyone should just have a standard reply they can copy and paste. "Stay positive". No, that's giving advise.... "Everything will be allright". No that's a prognosis... How about "sorry, can't help you, but good luck". Hey, that might work.
Thanks Phil, I'll have alot more time on my hands now.....

It's the tone...
not the information. We should all share - but we should be aware of the tone of our posting. This is not a face to face encounter so it's difficult to interpret the tone of some. Just because a particular treatment worked for one does not mean it will work for another.

dasspears said:

And....
some people who are not religious also welcome other freedoms including the freedom to annoy other people whether intentional or not. Just saying...

Around my peson, I just
Around my peson, I just ignore them, guess I better use that here too, just like the advice given....

touche'

PhillieG said:

Tina
"I am with several others, am lost as to why you posted this thread. If someone seeks advise then that is what they want. People share their experiences with this disease. I see absolutely nothing wrong with responding to a thread "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". If we don't share, how the heck are we suppose to know what to expect?"

Sorry if I wasn't clear enough. My entire point is that we are here to offer helpful things like "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". Not to call each other names and tell people they are seeking the wrong treatment because they didn't do it that way or they had a bad experience with it. It's the ones that are telling people they are WRONG that gets me. They can disagree but do they to say they are WRONG? Only to inflate their egos.

"Sure there are a few that I think are downright mean, rude, and think they are superior. They offer no support whatsoever and God forbid they offer a condolance but they can be easily ignored."
Yes, they can. They can also keep it to themselves. They don't HAVE to but they CAN.

"People leave the board because they have moved on, their disease is not active. It is sad but if they can't be botherered then they can't be bothered."
I think you'd be surprised how many people left because of the things I addressed in my post Tina. It's not that they can't be bothered, it's that they have tired of the non-helpful people arguing over the same old stuff. I am in touch with many of them.

My goal is not to drive people away. Where does that come out?
My goal is the opposite, it's to keep people here.

Phil's okay by me!
Thanks for the update, Phil. I understand what's going on better now.

*hugs*
Gail

Hey Phil....

I was wondering (and I hate to appear stupidly naive), but after reading
the posts on your "SAD" thread, were you pointing that thread at me?

I hope I didn't wrongly assume that you understood my stance
on all this cancer crap?

Chemo, or anything at all, is fine when it works, but my feelings
are and always will be, that when something fails to work, we should
try something else.

I get terribly depressed when I read a poster tell how they've taken
everything western medicine threw at them, and the damned cancer
is back..... and everyone starts telling them to try all the new "trials"
with "new chemicals", rather than suggest other routes that have
been successful for many, many others out here.

Even that Hydrazine Sulfate that the Syracuse Cancer Research Center
has done so much research with, gets tossed aside as so much BS
instead of being tried... Good grief... If I had a choice between getting
a placebo or trying something that might actually work....

I always tried to include a statement, that if my route failed me,
I'd look again at chemo, or whatever else is out there. I almost started
with chemo, but it was so long after my operation, that they said
it no longer had as much of a chance to do the job. Cancer cells can
travel and spread fast. after a tumor is opened. Kinda' like a hornet's
nest, ya'know?

I don't know for sure if the herbs worked, so I hesitate telling anyone
to take what I took, but damn... if something doesn't work, move the
&*^%$%^ on before it kills ya'... that's the only message I want to
get across...

It's tough getting that out there Phil.... It's like telling someone to
stop praying to whatever their praying to and do something constructive.

It touches nerves.....

If your thread was aimed at me Phil.... my sincere apologies to you
for causing you to feel so compelled.

Life's too damned short to be hurtful. When I finally die, I'd rather be
thought of as a guy who gave a crap about others...

Sorry if I've been missing the mark.


Take care.

John

Thanks for the reminder Phil
Phil,

Thank you for the reminder that we are all here to support one another and share our experiences by responding to THE PERSON WHO ORIGINATED THE POST asking for advice or guidance. When bickering starts among the people who reply, there is little helpful information given and the originator will either look elsewhere or be left at square one where they started - alone, scared and full of questions. There is such a wealth of information available on these discussion boards and it is a shame when someone is scared away when all they needed was a little connection with others who may have had some similar experiences.

I don't know of any one who was given an instruction manual for all of the different aspects in their life that would be affected by cancer when they received their diagnosis. And I am not aware of any one who does not have the same wish and prayer for the outcome of their cancer diagnosis. So...we are all trying to sail the same seas...just in different types of boats and with different equipment and conditions. There are no wrong ways to steer our boats and there is no one who knows how to paddle any better than the next person. We just all want the same thing......to make it ashore.

Part of what has made this tough road a little easier, has been the compassionate, non-judgmental, LISTENERS on these boards, who have made themselves available to me when I needed it the most. If we can offer the same open arms to all people who post - then we will have supplied what these boards were intended to provide - a place of comfort and information for an extremely scary time in life who none of us asked for - or ever dreamed we would have to face.

Thanks again, Phil

PhillieG said:

OK
So the comments "we each have a different story" and the suggestion that we show tolerance to how other chose to battle their disease are out of line and offensive to some of you?

And calling each other "stupid" and arguing who is right and wrong about treatment and how to help people get through cancer is not offensive and helps new people coming here for guidance from our experiences?

NOW I Get it! Name calling and arguing is the way to help people!
Boy, do I feel stupid! All this time I thought it was about offering experience and support.

im not seeing it
I am new to the board but I am not seeing what you describe. I am not sure that this problem is such a prevailing one that you cant go right to the person you are having problems with. Its a public forum, people are going to say and do things that are rude. Call them out on it. I used to have expectations on how I thought people should respond to a posting or email but I learned that some people take and some people give. Some people are rude and some people are kind. Thats what you get with a "public forum"