SAD
I KNOW that I am guilty of this at times too, but many of us attack each other way too much. Face it, we have/had cancer (or are caregivers) and we EACH HAVE A DIFFERENT STORY.
How much HELP are we actually giving any NEW people who happen to come here?
Isn't that WHY we post or is it just to argue about treatments.
This site is NOT going to have sections for:
Cancer Stage I
Cancer Stage II
Cancer Stage III
Cancer Stage IV
Cancer cured by chemo
Cancer cured by TCM
Cancer cured by juicing
Cancer cured by prayer
Cancer cured by _________.
So a little tolerance for how people choose to handle their own lives might not be a bad idea. I know this will ruffle the feathers of the usual suspects but those are the ones who possibly need to look at this the most. It will give you something to do at least.
Obviously we took many paths to GET cancer and we took many paths in our attempts to GET RID of cancer. The chemo people are not going to convert the TCM people and the TCM people are not going to convert the chemo people. That's been established. I know cancer can make people cranky at times and it's brought out the worst in me as well as the best in me.
No WONDER so many good people got fed up and left!
Comments
-
Wow that will remove about half the questions on here since about half are ASKING for advise. And about 2/3 of the people on here are more than glad to freely GIVE advise. Does anyone know where someone can go to get advise on the internet? There are ALOT of people out there that are scared and aren't getting help from their doctors. Now, I see the value of consoling a "virtual" friend but most people CAME here looking for advise not a shoulder to cry on. This site is not always a sounding board but any online forum leans that way occasionally. That's the nature of the beast. Tell me what support can you give me when I'm not sure about my treatment? I guess everyone should just have a standard reply they can copy and paste. "Stay positive". No, that's giving advise.... "Everything will be allright". No that's a prognosis... How about "sorry, can't help you, but good luck". Hey, that might work.
Thanks Phil, I'll have alot more time on my hands now.....0 -
Advice.imagineit2010 said:Wow that will remove about half the questions on here since about half are ASKING for advise. And about 2/3 of the people on here are more than glad to freely GIVE advise. Does anyone know where someone can go to get advise on the internet? There are ALOT of people out there that are scared and aren't getting help from their doctors. Now, I see the value of consoling a "virtual" friend but most people CAME here looking for advise not a shoulder to cry on. This site is not always a sounding board but any online forum leans that way occasionally. That's the nature of the beast. Tell me what support can you give me when I'm not sure about my treatment? I guess everyone should just have a standard reply they can copy and paste. "Stay positive". No, that's giving advise.... "Everything will be allright". No that's a prognosis... How about "sorry, can't help you, but good luck". Hey, that might work.
Thanks Phil, I'll have alot more time on my hands now.....
I agree that many come here for advice and that many of us give it. That being so, it is especially important for us to preserve our right to disagree with one another. When there is a diversity of views, people need to know that. If Phil finds the public disagreements distasteful, that's just tough.
--Greg0 -
High five???PGLGreg said:Advice.
I agree that many come here for advice and that many of us give it. That being so, it is especially important for us to preserve our right to disagree with one another. When there is a diversity of views, people need to know that. If Phil finds the public disagreements distasteful, that's just tough.
--Greg
On this, my friend, we are in full agreement........
Now about that other subject.... LOL0 -
Here we go againimagineit2010 said:High five???
On this, my friend, we are in full agreement........
Now about that other subject.... LOL
Maybe we need to create another discussion group(s)
Spiritual
Stages of Cancer
Juicing
Eat Meat
Don't eat meat
Phil geez.....why do you get so uptight over the dumbest things.....
No one here makes you read anything, so go poop or something......
Taking a break.....later.0 -
From one of lifes accidental touristsNana b said:Here we go again
Maybe we need to create another discussion group(s)
Spiritual
Stages of Cancer
Juicing
Eat Meat
Don't eat meat
Phil geez.....why do you get so uptight over the dumbest things.....
No one here makes you read anything, so go poop or something......
Taking a break.....later.
I loved that old irish ditty "The orange and the green" Particularly the line"And me ,being strictly neutral,I fights anyone in sight".:) Ron.0 -
I guess its easier to ignoreNana b said:Here we go again
Maybe we need to create another discussion group(s)
Spiritual
Stages of Cancer
Juicing
Eat Meat
Don't eat meat
Phil geez.....why do you get so uptight over the dumbest things.....
No one here makes you read anything, so go poop or something......
Taking a break.....later.
I guess its easier to ignore feed back when you know you are off base!! I came here scared, confused , sad , hurt etc.. not one time in me asking questions or advice did i think that i should just go off this and not talk to chris Dr.. but lets be honest.. Is it logical go call your dr everytime you have a bathroom question or what ostomy supplies are better than others?? I love your advice and feed back, your jokes and your tips on what has helped you!! please everyone stay the way you are and help each other face everday of this horrible thing we call CANCER!! if you dont like it GET OFF!!!! ok im done....lol
Loves,
Mel0 -
Whew, Mel !!!MelanieT said:I guess its easier to ignore
I guess its easier to ignore feed back when you know you are off base!! I came here scared, confused , sad , hurt etc.. not one time in me asking questions or advice did i think that i should just go off this and not talk to chris Dr.. but lets be honest.. Is it logical go call your dr everytime you have a bathroom question or what ostomy supplies are better than others?? I love your advice and feed back, your jokes and your tips on what has helped you!! please everyone stay the way you are and help each other face everday of this horrible thing we call CANCER!! if you dont like it GET OFF!!!! ok im done....lol
Loves,
Mel
You are HOT !!
Thanks for the laugh!
John0 -
not again...tootsie1 said:I'm confused
I realize I may have been distracted lately for various reasons, but I'm confused about what's going on...
*hugs*
Gail
This is beginning to look like it could turn into something like that "Prayer" thread Y'all had going when I first signed up.Please don't go there.
-Pat0 -
I am Lost
OK what brought this all on. I'm lost as to what has caused this post. Phil, you have contributed so much to this board and helped me so much so why are you saying that we shouldn't give advice anymore based on what we have been through personally. We all got this cancer because we were dealt a dirty hand in life, but we can still help one another. We don't all need to be a specific stage, but help those that are the stage we are and go from there. You are a hero in my book Phil. You have gone through major trials, but we still need to keep focused on the emotional aspect of all of this and that is being human and emotions.
Hugs! Kim0 -
Lost
I am with several others, am lost as to why you posted this thread. If someone seeks advise then that is what they want. People share their experiences with this disease. I see absolutely nothing wrong with resonding to a thread "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". If we don't share, how the heck are we suppose to know what to expect? Personally, I would have been lost without the advise and assistance I received from total strangers who, unfortunately, share the same disease George has and will be forever grateful to them for their help.
Sure there are a few that I think are downright mean, rude, and think they are superior. They offer no support whatsoever and God forbid they offer a condolance but they can be easily ignored.
People leave the board because they have moved on, their disease is not active. It is sad but if they can't be botherered then they can't be bothered.
Is your goal is to drive people away? Now chill out and have a glass of wine.
Tina0 -
Tinageotina said:Lost
I am with several others, am lost as to why you posted this thread. If someone seeks advise then that is what they want. People share their experiences with this disease. I see absolutely nothing wrong with resonding to a thread "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". If we don't share, how the heck are we suppose to know what to expect? Personally, I would have been lost without the advise and assistance I received from total strangers who, unfortunately, share the same disease George has and will be forever grateful to them for their help.
Sure there are a few that I think are downright mean, rude, and think they are superior. They offer no support whatsoever and God forbid they offer a condolance but they can be easily ignored.
People leave the board because they have moved on, their disease is not active. It is sad but if they can't be botherered then they can't be bothered.
Is your goal is to drive people away? Now chill out and have a glass of wine.
Tina
"I am with several others, am lost as to why you posted this thread. If someone seeks advise then that is what they want. People share their experiences with this disease. I see absolutely nothing wrong with responding to a thread "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". If we don't share, how the heck are we suppose to know what to expect?"
Sorry if I wasn't clear enough. My entire point is that we are here to offer helpful things like "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". Not to call each other names and tell people they are seeking the wrong treatment because they didn't do it that way or they had a bad experience with it. It's the ones that are telling people they are WRONG that gets me. They can disagree but do they to say they are WRONG? Only to inflate their egos.
"Sure there are a few that I think are downright mean, rude, and think they are superior. They offer no support whatsoever and God forbid they offer a condolance but they can be easily ignored."
Yes, they can. They can also keep it to themselves. They don't HAVE to but they CAN.
"People leave the board because they have moved on, their disease is not active. It is sad but if they can't be botherered then they can't be bothered."
I think you'd be surprised how many people left because of the things I addressed in my post Tina. It's not that they can't be bothered, it's that they have tired of the non-helpful people arguing over the same old stuff. I am in touch with many of them.
My goal is not to drive people away. Where does that come out?
My goal is the opposite, it's to keep people here.0 -
I don't know.....geotina said:Lost
I am with several others, am lost as to why you posted this thread. If someone seeks advise then that is what they want. People share their experiences with this disease. I see absolutely nothing wrong with resonding to a thread "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". If we don't share, how the heck are we suppose to know what to expect? Personally, I would have been lost without the advise and assistance I received from total strangers who, unfortunately, share the same disease George has and will be forever grateful to them for their help.
Sure there are a few that I think are downright mean, rude, and think they are superior. They offer no support whatsoever and God forbid they offer a condolance but they can be easily ignored.
People leave the board because they have moved on, their disease is not active. It is sad but if they can't be botherered then they can't be bothered.
Is your goal is to drive people away? Now chill out and have a glass of wine.
Tina
When I found this site I had already done weeks of oxi/Xeloda and radiation and was a month out of colostomy not knowing how to survive with a bag and some of the people here when I found this site literally taught me how to not just survive but how to live after such a procedure and what to expect from FOLFOX, my next step then in this journey.
After awhile, you learn whats BS and what has some validity; who seems to be a leader,who a follower, who provides legit info, who just nonsense; who's good for emotional support-a major part of this site, I think and at times, the most important to me,- the knowledge that there are other people out there going thru the same or similar sheit that I'm going thru..(It takes some of the scariness away) There were three men in particular, among many here whose advice ands PMs made my life liveable, giving me hope that things will get better, that there is a new "normal" you can live with; there were a number of women who's thoughts and advice from a woman's perspective/experience in this mutual battle was very helpful as well.
Thats what I found to be the strength of this site. If you needed support when in pain or depressed or just needed to vent/talk to someone; if you needed advice as to what to be aware of when undergoing specific treatment regimens, to get thru the treatment with minimal negative side effects; to provide a bit of humor or "human interest" stories to take one's mind off this battle for a minute or two, with words most can identify with; to provide answers to personal, specific questions one has while undergoing treatment, while trying to live after treatment, while being a caregiver;for me, this site (you) was (were)a lifesaver.
Yet tho I've been here but 7 1/2 months (and intend on continuing visiting during my next 30-45 years)something seems different. I know I've changed, hence much of the above may no longer apply to me but I'd like to do unto others what others here did for me-help....
Cancer is an ongoing, never-ending battle as I do not believe once afflicted you can ever be certain you are completely free. Don't mean to be negative in any way but thats based on rather extensive reading and thought (and so far limited personal experience.)
That being said, as no one can with absolute certainty tell me how many years I have left nor if I'll be dead by 3:17 PM, Sunday, May 23, 2010, then I have no other choice but to live my life to its fullest as best I can, for as long as I can and do what I think will help me do that.....steve0 -
OK
So the comments "we each have a different story" and the suggestion that we show tolerance to how other chose to battle their disease are out of line and offensive to some of you?
And calling each other "stupid" and arguing who is right and wrong about treatment and how to help people get through cancer is not offensive and helps new people coming here for guidance from our experiences?
NOW I Get it! Name calling and arguing is the way to help people!
Boy, do I feel stupid! All this time I thought it was about offering experience and support.0 -
OkPhillieG said:Tina
"I am with several others, am lost as to why you posted this thread. If someone seeks advise then that is what they want. People share their experiences with this disease. I see absolutely nothing wrong with responding to a thread "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". If we don't share, how the heck are we suppose to know what to expect?"
Sorry if I wasn't clear enough. My entire point is that we are here to offer helpful things like "what side effects should I expect from Folfox". Not to call each other names and tell people they are seeking the wrong treatment because they didn't do it that way or they had a bad experience with it. It's the ones that are telling people they are WRONG that gets me. They can disagree but do they to say they are WRONG? Only to inflate their egos.
"Sure there are a few that I think are downright mean, rude, and think they are superior. They offer no support whatsoever and God forbid they offer a condolance but they can be easily ignored."
Yes, they can. They can also keep it to themselves. They don't HAVE to but they CAN.
"People leave the board because they have moved on, their disease is not active. It is sad but if they can't be botherered then they can't be bothered."
I think you'd be surprised how many people left because of the things I addressed in my post Tina. It's not that they can't be bothered, it's that they have tired of the non-helpful people arguing over the same old stuff. I am in touch with many of them.
My goal is not to drive people away. Where does that come out?
My goal is the opposite, it's to keep people here.
Now I kinda get it Phil. Thanks for the explanation. I know exactly what you mean by "wrong treatment" but I usually try to ignore that stuff and move on. And tell those you are still in contact to check in once in a while.
Tina0 -
Phil
sometimes we all need, what my Boyfriend would call, a "wakeup call." Thank you for reminding us that we're all here for everyone, and that we can share our stories, our pain, our experiences, our joy, our hope, with everyone, without judgment. Sure we need our critical thinking skills for discernment, but not in a way to shut others out.
Love ya Phil,
In the Light,
Aud0 -
I wish....
I wish the forum included a 'block' feature like found on the Christian forum that hosts my blog so if I or someone irked others, they could just 'block' them (or me :-D ) and would never see anything they posted.
As for now, scroll on......... ;-)0 -
Wow Diane, I didn't figuredianetavegia said:I wish....
I wish the forum included a 'block' feature like found on the Christian forum that hosts my blog so if I or someone irked others, they could just 'block' them (or me :-D ) and would never see anything they posted.
As for now, scroll on......... ;-)
Wow Diane, I didn't figure you for a fan of censorship. Anyone who is openly religious should welcome other freedoms including the freedom to annoy people whether intentional or not. If you never saw or heard anything you dissagreed with I think life would become pretty mundane. Oh well, to each his own.....0 -
Wasn't gonna weigh in..but.......imagineit2010 said:Wow Diane, I didn't figure
Wow Diane, I didn't figure you for a fan of censorship. Anyone who is openly religious should welcome other freedoms including the freedom to annoy people whether intentional or not. If you never saw or heard anything you dissagreed with I think life would become pretty mundane. Oh well, to each his own.....
I watched this thread with mild amusement as another mundane attempt to moderate a forum in one person's views just like the prayer thread was so really didn't care to weigh in on something that shouldn't even be taking up space until this last post..........
Diane in no way supports censorship....she has taken so much heat for her spiritual views (and mine) that she tried to be diplomatic in an attempt to diffuse this meaningless tirade. (I'm not referring to you imagine)
I personally utterly enjoy all and every thread, read and enjoy them all..cry over MOST of them and attempt to pray for and love all who are suffering so terribly from this disease, so post on about any and all things..........I'm a grown man who knows how to let others express their views, vent and EVEN occasionally act or say something stupid(as i do myself)and guess what.......accept it and move on.
so if you juice, juice away.....if you pray...do so loudly and often......if you are not spiritual in any way....say so openly :)LOL.....but above all let's share our diversity, love our differences and support each other in our fight...:)
And Phil for God's sake can you please give it a break.0 -
Actually, Imagine...imagineit2010 said:Wow Diane, I didn't figure
Wow Diane, I didn't figure you for a fan of censorship. Anyone who is openly religious should welcome other freedoms including the freedom to annoy people whether intentional or not. If you never saw or heard anything you dissagreed with I think life would become pretty mundane. Oh well, to each his own.....
I would love for those who dislike me or who are angered by my thoughts to be able to choose to never see what I added. :-)
Censoring would be to remove or prevent the writer/ speaker from having their say. A 'block user' would allow those who don't want to read that post the right to not view it. :-) Ever 'hide' anyone or anyones 'games or quizzes' on Facebook? I do!!
Adversity stinks!0
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