Neulasta blues....

leesag said:

Hi Emily,I'm 46, and was
Hi Emily,

I'm 46, and was diagnosed with Stage IIIC in January. TAH, omentumectomy, along with small spots resected on bladder and bowel in February. My surgeon was a gynecological oncologist.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. There is no "right" way to feel. I've gone through all of the stages of grief since my diagnosis, anger, denial, sorrow, and just when I think I've reached acceptance, I start all over again! I have to say, that the most difficult times for me, emotionally, were waiting for surgery, and then, when I started feeling better, waiting for chemo to begin. Once things start happenning, it got easier for me because I felt like, finally, I was DOING something!

As for the emotional roller coaster, after trying to explain how I felt to my oncologist, she prescribed Celexa (a mood stabilizer/anti depressant) and Ativan (for anxiety). I was grateful for the Ativan, since sleeping at night was next to impossible and the Ativan helps me to slow my thoughts down and sleep. However, I resisted the Celexa at first, I've been taking it consistently for the past four weeks, and I've noticed that I am more positive and have fewer mood swings.

I think I've finally come to terms with the fact that my life changed forever after my diagnosis. I'm a teacher and my doctor wouldn't let me return to work during my treatments, so I've essentially been in a holding pattern since February, when I had my surgery. In fact, it wasn't until this last treatment (4 of 6) that I finally started thinking about life after chemo. Will it be different? Absolutely, but then, I've started over before and each time things have been different, but better. So, I'm scared, but hopeful.

You've come to the right place, Emily. You'll get many different perspectives from us, because we are very different people, but we are all going through the same cr*p. I love the women on this board! I have laughed my socks off, cried, cheered and prayed with these wonderful ladies. And occaisionally, raised my (very real) glass of wine in a (virtual) toast with them!

Hugs Honey!

Leesa

Shoot, I forgot the most important thing to tell you! Neulasta -- a heating pad and Ibuprofen are my salvation after Neulasta. In fact, I got a second heating pad, so I could have one for my back and one for my legs!

nancy591 said:

oh, Emily
Emily, it is truly tragic. There is another gal on here who is 32, I believe. I am 43. I was 41 at diagnosis. Yes, it is mostly a post menopausal disease. What stage were you diagnosed at and how were you diagnosed?

For me, I believe, having young kids makes it tougher. I have a 23yrs old. She is out of the house and living her own life. I also have a 6yr and 4yr old. It saddens me to think of them growing up without a Mom.

Cancer was something that happened to other people. I'm sure you, like most of the women on here, you ate well and took care of yourself. I can tell you now ... your friends will have no idea of what you are going through. After the inital shock is over most of them will go on with their lives while you continue through this journey. This is why I find this board so helpful. I don't always blab all my feelings or complaints. But it helps me to listen to other peoples questions and concerns.

Good luck!!!!