To my dad (R.I.P)

GregStahl
GregStahl Member Posts: 188
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
Pops,

I find myself dealing with breast cancer yet again, this time, not as a son, but as a husband.
I do not know how to deal with this, I do not know how to handle this. I need the strength you had in 1973, I need your advice on how to deal with and handle everything that is to come our way, I need your wisedom, I need your insite, I need your shoulder, I need your ear, I need to hear you tell me all is OK.

I cant do this alone, I cant do this without you, but I have to. Guide me....please

Comments

  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #2
    dad always comes through
    Greg, my wise father died 8 years ago and now I'm taking care of Mom. I ask dad for guidance all the time, and he comes through albeit at odd times. You will know when it happens.

    Best of luck with this day. Breast cancer treatments are very very good, and you have every reason to think optimistically.
  • mr steve
    mr steve Member Posts: 285
    #3
    Dad's
    Our Dads raised us to be strong in times of need much like now. We will lean on there teachings, and with Gods help we will make it thru this.
  • GregStahl
    GregStahl Member Posts: 188
    #4
    mr steve said:

    Dad's
    Our Dads raised us to be strong in times of need much like now. We will lean on there teachings, and with Gods help we will make it thru this.

    Thanks everyone
    I guess reality hit when the surgery was finally scheduled.
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
    GregStahl said:

    Thanks everyone
    I guess reality hit when the surgery was finally scheduled.

    We are Here for You
    Hi Greg
    It is very touching to read your post to your dad asking for his guidance and wisdom. My dad just passed in March. I talk to him and lean on him daily. He does speak to me in his own way. You continue to pray and talk to your dad. He will answer you. God bless you and your wife now as you face this difficult journey. Breast cancer is one of the most curable cancers out there! You and your wife will be okay. Keep your eyes and ears open for your dad, he is here. Peace.
    Tina
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #6
    Hi Greg
    I can't believe that you don't have the strength you need. It sounds like you had a fine example in you father. We all go into this with questions and some lack of self confidence. Somehow, though, we find the strength through love. You are a very caring person. A little fear is natural. None of us wants to see our loved ones in pain. We fear losing them. Our lives are forever changed when cancer strikes those we love. You will do fine because you will do what your heart says. Take care, Fay
  • IsabelSierra
    IsabelSierra Member Posts: 40
    #7
    makes me think about how hard it must be for my dad, my mom was diagnoses a few months ago with breast cancer and now she is going through the chemo treatment, and i must agree with u, reality does hit when the surgery is scheduled, im 19 and i feel like if i was older id be wiser and smarter and id be able to make better decisions better meals for my mom and reading this makes me stop and think that no matter what the age is one always needs that one person in our lifes that has always been there as a shoulder for us to lean on or our listener or just that person that tells us everything will be okay , i feel as if ,my dad is dealing with this alone because me and my sisters dont really talk much other than in the dinner table...but u can do this! not on your own but im sure that your father wherever in heaven he might be he is watching you and he will guide u thru this Greg!
    Be strong and dont loose faith!
    Good Luck to you and your wife the journey now begins it will be a long and tough one but no matter how many bad days in it you have, the finish line will be closer and closer one day at a time!Dont giveup!
  • GregStahl
    GregStahl Member Posts: 188
    #8
    IsabelSierra said:

    makes me think about how hard it must be for my dad, my mom was diagnoses a few months ago with breast cancer and now she is going through the chemo treatment, and i must agree with u, reality does hit when the surgery is scheduled, im 19 and i feel like if i was older id be wiser and smarter and id be able to make better decisions better meals for my mom and reading this makes me stop and think that no matter what the age is one always needs that one person in our lifes that has always been there as a shoulder for us to lean on or our listener or just that person that tells us everything will be okay , i feel as if ,my dad is dealing with this alone because me and my sisters dont really talk much other than in the dinner table...but u can do this! not on your own but im sure that your father wherever in heaven he might be he is watching you and he will guide u thru this Greg!
    Be strong and dont loose faith!
    Good Luck to you and your wife the journey now begins it will be a long and tough one but no matter how many bad days in it you have, the finish line will be closer and closer one day at a time!Dont giveup!

    Thanks
    I have been trying to find caregiver or spouse supports groups here, but in "small town" East Texas, there isnt much.
    My dad went thru this with my mom for 7 years, although not the same, his insite and advice would be helpful.
    We will get thru this, I guess I just needed to write down what I couldnt tell anyone and hope someone heard.

    Anyway.....16 days to surgery.
  • GregStahl
    GregStahl Member Posts: 188
    #9
    IsabelSierra said:

    makes me think about how hard it must be for my dad, my mom was diagnoses a few months ago with breast cancer and now she is going through the chemo treatment, and i must agree with u, reality does hit when the surgery is scheduled, im 19 and i feel like if i was older id be wiser and smarter and id be able to make better decisions better meals for my mom and reading this makes me stop and think that no matter what the age is one always needs that one person in our lifes that has always been there as a shoulder for us to lean on or our listener or just that person that tells us everything will be okay , i feel as if ,my dad is dealing with this alone because me and my sisters dont really talk much other than in the dinner table...but u can do this! not on your own but im sure that your father wherever in heaven he might be he is watching you and he will guide u thru this Greg!
    Be strong and dont loose faith!
    Good Luck to you and your wife the journey now begins it will be a long and tough one but no matter how many bad days in it you have, the finish line will be closer and closer one day at a time!Dont giveup!

    Isabel
    Thank you. I know you are doing everything you can to help your mom get thru this and help your dad as well. I have a 17 yr old step son who is graduatiing HS now and for him, this is all an interference to his plans. Some of the comments he has made to her just floors me and are down right mean....(she is a bad mom and is always playing the "cancer" card).
    As far as feeling that your dad is doing this alone.....for you to do the small things is a major help....clean the kitchen, laundry, cook, a hug....all mean a ton and help out greatly. My stepson does nothing unless asked and even then gets an attitude (I am suprised he breaths with us telling him too. LOL) but does it. Right now its all about him in his mind and this cancer just screws up his plans.

    If you need anything, help or someone to vent to....feel free to write, email, or FB.

    Greg
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #10
    GregStahl said:

    Isabel
    Thank you. I know you are doing everything you can to help your mom get thru this and help your dad as well. I have a 17 yr old step son who is graduatiing HS now and for him, this is all an interference to his plans. Some of the comments he has made to her just floors me and are down right mean....(she is a bad mom and is always playing the "cancer" card).
    As far as feeling that your dad is doing this alone.....for you to do the small things is a major help....clean the kitchen, laundry, cook, a hug....all mean a ton and help out greatly. My stepson does nothing unless asked and even then gets an attitude (I am suprised he breaths with us telling him too. LOL) but does it. Right now its all about him in his mind and this cancer just screws up his plans.

    If you need anything, help or someone to vent to....feel free to write, email, or FB.

    Greg

    Thinking of you both
    Hi Greg
    Thanks for your recent posts. Sorry you are having a rough time with your step son. I can somewhat relate. We have a 10 yr old daughter who can at times have quite an attitude, and can also be downright mean to me! You are the worst mom ever! They do not realize how they are hurting others feelings. At your step son's age, it is all about him. That is the way graduating teenagers are unfortunately. Just do your best to let him know that the way he is acting is not acceptable, and that he is hurting your feelings. I do not know too much about Texas, I am in Va, and before that, Nj. I would try to contact the local american cancer society to see if they have any support groups in your area, or how about asking at the hospital or cancer center your wife is going to? There is help out there, you just have to research it, and be willing to ask! Best of luck to all of you. The countdown continues with us here too! Peace.
    Tina

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