Sister diagnosed with IBC - How can I help?

PhoenixAnne
PhoenixAnne Member Posts: 2
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My sister was just diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and is meeting with her doctor to discuss the next steps? There has never been any breast cancer or cancer of any sort in our family, so this is very new to me. I'm not sure what she will need? I am a teacher, so I will be off work for the next 2 months, so I can do what ever is needed? But exactly, what will that be? I'm guessing it will involve taking her to appts. while her husband is working, etc. I know she'll need moral support and she'll be worried about her finances. I guess what I am saying is how can I make this easier for her?

Anne

Comments

  • bjmom1
    bjmom1 Member Posts: 152
    #2
    How to help
    Frist I am sorry to hear about your sister. The best way to give her support is take good notes at the doctors because she might get overwhelmed and forget some of the things doctors might say. Let her talk about how she feel and just be a good listener. And give her lots of hugs. That what help me get through it. Also anything you might see she may need and do not ask for help like a meal made etc... Remember this broad is a great place you can come for suggestions or just vent. You both are in my prayers.


    Barbara
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #3
    I was diagnosed in July,
    I was diagnosed in July, 2008 with Inflammatory breast cancer. This is a rare type of cancer, so if you have any questions feel free to ask me. First of all, this is a very aggressive cancer so they will want to start testing and treatment right away. My treatment was chemo, masectomy, then radiation. In cases of IBC, chemo always comes first. I am sorry your sister has to face this, but she is lucky to have you as a sister who wants to help. I have 2 older sisters who did not help me at all. I think a big help would be with food, not sure if she has children, but make sure there are groceries, plan a dinner, or cook for her. i was always making a Target run, so make sure she has everything she needs before chemo starts. i drank a lot of bottled water. Magazines and pjs are always a plus. Can you spare a couple hours a week do some cleaning around her house, or maybe a load of wash. Don't wait for her to ask for help, just do it. She will need you for moral support, but don't just say to her "you'll be fine". She is scared and shocked right now. If she is worried about finances, can the family step in to help a little. Even if it a bag of groceries, fill the car with gas. These might help ease her worries. Please let us know how her treatment is going.
  • e_hope
    e_hope Member Posts: 370
    #4
    What your sister is going to
    What your sister is going to need is a friend to hold her hand and listen when she needs to vent. Just be around, even if she doesn't ask you for help.

    I am 37 now diagnosed last feb. I too have no family history of breast or of any other cancers for that matter. She is going to have many emotions about this diagnosis, including anger.

    I know what I needed was just someone to be there. To listen when i was upset, come to chemo when i needed a break from my hubby.

    If she has children ( mine where 6, 4, and 2 when i went through chemo) just stop by to see if she needs a break to rest.

    BE A FRIEND... A LISTENER... BE THERE PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY...
  • PhoenixAnne
    PhoenixAnne Member Posts: 2
    #5
    e_hope said:

    What your sister is going to
    What your sister is going to need is a friend to hold her hand and listen when she needs to vent. Just be around, even if she doesn't ask you for help.

    I am 37 now diagnosed last feb. I too have no family history of breast or of any other cancers for that matter. She is going to have many emotions about this diagnosis, including anger.

    I know what I needed was just someone to be there. To listen when i was upset, come to chemo when i needed a break from my hubby.

    If she has children ( mine where 6, 4, and 2 when i went through chemo) just stop by to see if she needs a break to rest.

    BE A FRIEND... A LISTENER... BE THERE PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY...

    Thanks for the suggestions on helping my sister
    Thanks to all of you for your input. My sister is going to the doctor tomorrow, Monday, to get more information and discuss the next step. So far, she has been receptive to my help and is keeping me included in her prognosis and plans. Being the older sister has not always been easy, because I walk a fine line between appearing not to be giving enough help and being perceived as bossy.

    Anne

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