Questions to ask

Pikus1
Pikus1 Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi Everyone,
I am new to this forum and newly diagnosed with breast cancer. I was diagnosed in April and had surgery on May 4th. It was not in my lymphnodes and it is er/pr positive and HER2 negative, which they say is good. They are doing the oncogene testing to see if I need to have chemo or not, but the results won't be in until maybe then end of the week. I guess my questoins are to see if anyone else has felt like this. The night I was diagnosed I cried a little and worried that I wouldn't be around to see my 3 year old grow up, but I sat with my husband and we hugged, cried and said we would fight this. Since that time, I have not cried or really thought much about it, even though I have two scars on my breast and a mammosite balloon in me and am getting radiation. I have had alot of pain from the surgery but it is getting better and I'm able to do more again, which is good. But... I still don't feel like this is really happening to me. If I didn't see the scars and feel the pain, I wouldn't beleive it was happening to me. I talk to my family and friends in a matter of fact kind of way when talking about treatment, my scars, pain, etc. It's almost as if I'm talking about someone else and just relaying the facts. Everyone I know says that I'm being very optomistic and dealing with this well. Am I dealing with it or still in denial? I don't feel sad or anything. I am a little worried about what my breat is going to look like once the balloon is out and it starts healing, but I'll deal with that when I have to. My radiation will be complete on Wed when they will take the balloon out. If it feels anything like when they switched the balloons, I'm not looking forward to it cuz that hurt eventho my doc tried to numb it. Is there going to be a point where I break down? Will it ever seem real to me? I have given alot of thought as to what would happen if I didn't survive this and it sucks to think about that. My husband, family and friends have been sooo supportive and helpful that I am so thankful I have them. Is that why this doesn't seem to be as hard on me mentally as it does on everyone else? Just wondered if anyone else has felt like this and if so, what happened next?

Thanks,
Cheryl

Comments

  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #2
    Everyone goes through stages.
    I was a anxious and stressed out while I was waiting for my results but once I found out what I was dealing with, I felt much as you do now. I'm a "cup half full" kind of person and from what I was hearing this sounded doable. I was busy with doctor appts. and treatments, etc. and didn't spend much time feeling bad about my situation. I didn't break down until everything was done and life went back to "normal". Now there was no more to do but every 3 months I had to meet with my oncologist again. When I had my first mammo, I was frightened and cried when I found out that everything was fine. I was dealing with post tramatic stress syndrome and many women go through that.

    The good news is that I am 1 1/2 years out and feel great. Some days I don't even think about cancer. I never thought that would happen.

    Take one day at a time and give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel. There is no right way to handle cancer. Hugs.

    Roseann
  • karinna
    karinna Member Posts: 42
    #3
    I agree with Roseann. Give
    I agree with Roseann. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you do or do not feel. Everyone is different. I was diagnosed Dec 09. It has been rough but I too have periods where it doesn't seem real. But then, just when I least suspect it, something happens that triggers a response (anxiety, tears maybe, anger, sadness). Mostly I'm just very grateful to be here. I have become a cup-half-full person through this. I appreciate life more than ever before.

    I am happy to read that you have so much support. That really helps. Wish you the best, great health and happiness.

    Blessings,
    Karinna
  • bjmom1
    bjmom1 Member Posts: 152
    #4
    I agree with others
    We all have been in this emotional roller coaster ride. So please do not feel alone some of us still trying to deal with this disease. But just like u it take time to heal physically u must give yourself time to heal mentally. Try to take it one day at a time. We are here for you.

    Barb
  • Youcandothis
    Youcandothis Member Posts: 79
    #5
    bjmom1 said:

    I agree with others
    We all have been in this emotional roller coaster ride. So please do not feel alone some of us still trying to deal with this disease. But just like u it take time to heal physically u must give yourself time to heal mentally. Try to take it one day at a time. We are here for you.

    Barb

    You sound just like me
    I was so busy planning how to get myself and everyone else through surgery, chemo, and rads, I forgot to be scared. I took the Xanax and the sleep aids prior to surgery, then just went with the program. Never cried, just did what seemed sensible. Every once in awhile I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach like, "what just happened to me?" I've gone on with life, but I guarantee you I smell the roses and enjoy the sunsets more these days. Right now you're busy getting through this. Good for you, you're a mom with lots on your plate. First things first, plenty of time later to smell those roses! Hug your 3-yr-old for all of us and keep on taking care of business! You're doing fine.

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