My Moms 2nd Chemo today!

IsabelSierra
IsabelSierra Member Posts: 40
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I cried myself to sleep lastnight, its really hard just having to accept the fact that it just makes her so sick!! The chemo was changed though!!(i had the names in a paper but i cant seem to remember where its at!) The ONC said that hopefully it decreases the nausea and vomitting which i really hope so but he did say she might be getting a few Mouth Sores!
He told me to purchase BIOTENE which i will go to wal mart to buy!
I hope it helps incase she does get them! My relationship with my mom has gotten a lot better ever since she was diagnosed, at first i felt bad because i would feel like guilty that this is what it took for me and my mom to get along but now i just see it as, a lesson learned, and it wasnt just with me, my mom would fight with my dad and sisters a lot she had a IM ALWAYS RIGHT attitude! Things are wayyy better now, but i have a lot of other problems outside of home and i cant tell my mom what they are, shes really concerned because i have been really depressed lately but its mostly because of whats going on with her that makes me really sad its just that i dont tell her because i dont want it to lead to her having pain and not want to tell me!i dont want the fact that she knows im really hurting by the way i see her, stop her from telling me what shes feeling when i take care of her all day everyday! i feel as if she would be scared or feel to bad to tell me becasue she knows i cry a lot! But all this is leading to her assuming things, she thinks im pregnant!!! WHICH IM NOT! But shes really concerned and she thinks i have a boyfriend which I DONT! and i just i dont know how to work on our trust...i mean she lets me go out with friends and stuff but she doesnt trust that i wont do "bad things" and that leads to me getting sad about it because i honestly dont do bad things...i mean i do ditch school at times (college) but i go cry at my best friends house and her mom knows me really well too she would be able to tell my mom about the many times i've gone to cry to them. Im a bit more RESPONSIBLE, and i dont know how to show my mom or just make her understand and believe me!and that has been bugging her a lot lately she also mentioned it today on our way back home from the chemo...i dont know how or what to say to her anymore....some advice would really be appreciated, thank you..


Isabel

Comments

  • BlownAway60
    BlownAway60 Member Posts: 851
    #2
    Biotene is the best
    Biotene is the best for mouth sores.

    I hope your mom does better with this new chemo. Helping your mom will not always be easy but it is something she will never forget you doing for her.

    Hoping things are better between you and her soon.

    Sending Lots of hugs and prayers.

    Donna
  • heidijez
    heidijez Member Posts: 441
    #3
    it sounds like you are
    it sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now. and your relationship with your mother is a lot like mine was at your age. things will get better . . .you have to have faith. and remember, this is the perfect place for venting. sometimes it helps just to get things off your chest. Hugs to you!
  • Christine Louise
    Christine Louise Member Posts: 426 Member
    #4
    Easier to worry about my daughter's life
    I'm doing chemo now. It's easier to get caught up in my 16-year-old daughter's dramas than to worry about myself. I'm a mom and that's what we do! Also, her dramas are less life-and-death than mine. So even though her life can be sad or worrying and I'm helpless to solve anything, her problems get resolved faster than mine and are easier to concentrate on than cancer.

    Do you think maybe your mom is displacing her worries about herself with worrying about you?

    When I was down after surgery, my daughter made decisions on her own (like dropping a class) so she wouldn't bother me. I'm a little upset, but I do admire her taking responsibility. I'm trying to realize she is growing up through this ordeal and I need to let go and trust her. Like you, our relationship is stronger since my cancer. I don't feel guilty about that -- we're both just changing and that's okay.

    It's hard, but I'd say to just stay as steady around your mom as possible, don't give her reasons to not trust you, keep reassuring her about your behavior. (Don't ditch classes and get behind and have a new struggle!) You mom's in a rocky place, but hopefully she'll calm down about you. You still may have to be strong and let her vent, though.

    Bless you, Isabel. It's a shame to go through this when it should be your time to be a more carefree girl. I'm so glad you have friends to talk to!
  • IsabelSierra
    IsabelSierra Member Posts: 40
    #5
    Christine Louise said:

    Easier to worry about my daughter's life
    I'm doing chemo now. It's easier to get caught up in my 16-year-old daughter's dramas than to worry about myself. I'm a mom and that's what we do! Also, her dramas are less life-and-death than mine. So even though her life can be sad or worrying and I'm helpless to solve anything, her problems get resolved faster than mine and are easier to concentrate on than cancer.

    Do you think maybe your mom is displacing her worries about herself with worrying about you?

    When I was down after surgery, my daughter made decisions on her own (like dropping a class) so she wouldn't bother me. I'm a little upset, but I do admire her taking responsibility. I'm trying to realize she is growing up through this ordeal and I need to let go and trust her. Like you, our relationship is stronger since my cancer. I don't feel guilty about that -- we're both just changing and that's okay.

    It's hard, but I'd say to just stay as steady around your mom as possible, don't give her reasons to not trust you, keep reassuring her about your behavior. (Don't ditch classes and get behind and have a new struggle!) You mom's in a rocky place, but hopefully she'll calm down about you. You still may have to be strong and let her vent, though.

    Bless you, Isabel. It's a shame to go through this when it should be your time to be a more carefree girl. I'm so glad you have friends to talk to!

    Thank You
    i really am going to try to figure out what it is my mom needs from me for her to be able to be calm and trust me when im not home...and i know she tells me the same "im your mom its what im supposed to do" so i have to accept the fact that shes always going to be concerned about me when she sees me down...thanks for the replies :)


    Isabel...

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