Newly diagnosed back again

Cindy Ann
Cindy Ann Member Posts: 101
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I need to know this. Do any of you wake up feeling this is just a bad dream only to look at you bruised biopsied breast and remember it isn't? Do you feel in between numb and scared to death? Do you have all your friends/ family stop calling after they hear you have this breast ca bomb dropped on you? Do have some loved ones telling you stop dwelling on it. Hello its my breast it's a D cup and it's right out there!! How do you clear your head to do the right thing? How do you know the right thing to do? I know I am new to this but I am scared amd feel lonely. I am surrounded by love but watch all of my loved ones living life while mine feels in stand still. Like a plane in a holding pattern. The sun still shines, the wind still blows, but I still have cancer. I am not a person who thrives on attention or drama. I am a person who needs answers to process things. When I get the answers I do much better. My family doc when he told me the results(he didn't know anything about this cancer) said they caught it early and you are lucky. Because you have big breast and no one would notice if they did a lumpectomy. Sensitive he was not. I was also alone when I got my diagnosis. I almost fainted. My Mom had a highly invasive rapid growing ca it was the size of if a lemon and she mammogramed ever year. I nursed her through it all. Now she is mentally unstable and does not even know me or think she has a daughter. See why I am so scared. I am open minded and really need to know I am not different from everyone else. Since this is now happening to me.

Love and Blessings,
Cindy Ann ( newbie super girl)

Comments

  • Dot53
    Dot53 Member Posts: 239 Member
    #2
    Dear Cindy Ann
    When I read your post my first thought was "is she talking about me?" I cannot believe how similar our stories are.. my friends and family never really did call and only two ever came to see me after my mastectomy... My doctor also told me "how lucky I am".. ( I was thinking that if I were really lucky, I wouldn't have gotten cancer in the first place). I was also alone when I recieved the news and my mom and both sisters had breast cancer. So my dear pink sister you are not alone...we are all here with you and understand what you are going through.. I am so grateful for this site and the women who are here for us..

    Dot xo
  • ms_independent
    ms_independent Member Posts: 214
    #3
    no different
    Cindy Ann,

    You are no different from the rest of us. I absolutely couldn't function after my diagnosis. I could think of nothing else. I couldn't sleep or carry on a decent conversation. And I cried on and off a lot for over a week. I kept thinking it should show on the outside--how could something so life-altering be invivible to everyone. My husband pretty much felt the same way. That's when we realized that it was happening to both of us, not all of it but, parts of it. I was blessed that my relatives didn't think I should get over it. Of course, I don't live near any of them and initially only gave the details to my sister (2 time breast cancer survivor). I'm sorry your mom can't be there for you. Mine wasn't either (died of metastatic BC) and I really needed my mom then.

    Do you have a appointment with a surgeon yet? I would try to find one that specializes in breast cancer surgery. That's where you will get most of the details you need. Most breast cancers are realitively slow growers so you should have time to check around. And from the biopsy your MD's should be able to tell you if it's fast or slow. If you aren't happy with the one you met with- go to another one.

    I am sorry you have joined the club that no one wants to belong to. But, I'm glad you've found us here. No one can know what it's like to be diagnosed except someone who was also diagnosed. This wonderful and amazing group of people will help and support you every step of the way. You are not alone!

    Hugs, El
  • Cindy Ann
    Cindy Ann Member Posts: 101
    #4
    ms_independent said:

    no different
    Cindy Ann,

    You are no different from the rest of us. I absolutely couldn't function after my diagnosis. I could think of nothing else. I couldn't sleep or carry on a decent conversation. And I cried on and off a lot for over a week. I kept thinking it should show on the outside--how could something so life-altering be invivible to everyone. My husband pretty much felt the same way. That's when we realized that it was happening to both of us, not all of it but, parts of it. I was blessed that my relatives didn't think I should get over it. Of course, I don't live near any of them and initially only gave the details to my sister (2 time breast cancer survivor). I'm sorry your mom can't be there for you. Mine wasn't either (died of metastatic BC) and I really needed my mom then.

    Do you have a appointment with a surgeon yet? I would try to find one that specializes in breast cancer surgery. That's where you will get most of the details you need. Most breast cancers are realitively slow growers so you should have time to check around. And from the biopsy your MD's should be able to tell you if it's fast or slow. If you aren't happy with the one you met with- go to another one.

    I am sorry you have joined the club that no one wants to belong to. But, I'm glad you've found us here. No one can know what it's like to be diagnosed except someone who was also diagnosed. This wonderful and amazing group of people will help and support you every step of the way. You are not alone!

    Hugs, El

    Back again
    I have seen a breast ca surgeon. She was wonderful. But saw her day after my diagnosis. Husband was with me but I still didn't ask everything or catch everything. I called her nurse to schedule a appt before surgery to see her. I want to be 100% clear I am doing the right thing. I just found out in order to have the MRI they need to inject a dye I am deathly allergic to even with steroid prep still have severe reaction. So I wanted a lumpectomy because I am in early stage of ductal ca. But need to find out without MRI should I change to mastectomy. I see myself in so many people on this site.. I am so grateful to have been directed to you all. I am going to post my MRI question to see if anyone else has any ideals..Thank You! Thank you for all your helping kind words..

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cindy Ann Super Newbie
  • ms_independent
    ms_independent Member Posts: 214
    #5
    Cindy Ann said:

    Back again
    I have seen a breast ca surgeon. She was wonderful. But saw her day after my diagnosis. Husband was with me but I still didn't ask everything or catch everything. I called her nurse to schedule a appt before surgery to see her. I want to be 100% clear I am doing the right thing. I just found out in order to have the MRI they need to inject a dye I am deathly allergic to even with steroid prep still have severe reaction. So I wanted a lumpectomy because I am in early stage of ductal ca. But need to find out without MRI should I change to mastectomy. I see myself in so many people on this site.. I am so grateful to have been directed to you all. I am going to post my MRI question to see if anyone else has any ideals..Thank You! Thank you for all your helping kind words..

    Hugs and Blessings,
    Cindy Ann Super Newbie

    good
    I'm glad you have made the appointment to clear things up. sounds like you're on the right path. I just read your post about the allergy. I don't know of anything that shows cancer like an MRI with dye. It sounds like you've tried everything out there. Has your surgeon talked with the radiologist? There may be some obscure test that could safely get you an answer. Best of luck!

    Hugs, El
  • meena1
    meena1 Member Posts: 1,003
    #6
    ms_independent said:

    good
    I'm glad you have made the appointment to clear things up. sounds like you're on the right path. I just read your post about the allergy. I don't know of anything that shows cancer like an MRI with dye. It sounds like you've tried everything out there. Has your surgeon talked with the radiologist? There may be some obscure test that could safely get you an answer. Best of luck!

    Hugs, El

    Yes to everything you said
    Yes to everything you said above. We all seem to have been through the same things, and i believe that is why we all come here for support and someone to talk to. However, i have spoke to some who have been through breast cancer and they had wonderful support. Their husband/child/friend sat with them through every chemo. Family/friends brought them dinner, groceries, lunchs, book, pjs, slippers, anything Pink for breast cancer awareness. I do not know why I was abandoned and i am sure that you feel the same way. I hope that you can get through this. take care

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