Caregiver in need of help

Won't Eat
Hi Kim, Kent Cass pretty much covered it. I have had a peg since I started treatment, and I'm still using it 6 weeks post treatment. I eat some now, and am beginning to try and move more toward regular eating, but certainly my taste buds are still not back to normal, and nothing I've tried yet tastes very appetizing.

As suggested, you can't make your boyfriend eat, but he does need to understand how important it is to get the nutrition so he can make a decision, because he's making a decision now by not acting.

Maybe you could print out a few of the posts on the subjec and leave a couple, or one, where he can see it. Everybody loses their tastes, most everybody used or is using a feeding tube, gratefully. There is a long thread on the peg tube that's current you might look over. Best to you and your boyfriend.

Hal

Mb731 said:

Tube
Kim,

I think what will happen is he will see his weight drop drastically once he won't be able to swallow. My husband has a peg tube and has lost about 35 lbs due to not being able to tolerate the formulas. So now he has a PIC line and is getting TPN directly into the vein. He was very sick and ended up in the hospital due to a ton of complications! If there was a complication to be had- I think he got it.

After 19 days he will be coming home FINALLY! He had to take a 2 wk break in the radiation and chemo. All I can say is nutrition is essential to keeping as healthy as possible. I would give him a week but I would think that he will come around soon because of the changes he will be seeing.

After 2 wks into radiation my husband could barely swallow his own saliva. Keep me posted...best wishes.

Marybeth

Nutrition
Spell out the facts, Kim- Nutrition gives the body the ammo it needs to fight the good fight. He's got the PEG- so use it. I started getting all my Nutrition via the tube at the end of week #1- Jevity formula. Best road for him to take, now, is with pouring the good liquids down the tube. Marybeth, above, described a worse way, and what he's looking at if he continues to opt-out of the PEG feedings. I used the most concentrated Jevity formula out there, rather than the 1.5, and got by okay. Sure, I still lost 17% of my body weight, but I got all my Nutrition thru the PEG for seven weeks, including the 1 1/2-month time of morphine and ice; however, I returned to work a month after my last rad, and am now on the verge of being an 18-month Survivor. HE CAN SURVIVE THIS AND GET BACK TO AN ENTIRELY ACCEPTABLE LIFE, Kim- but he has to fight the good fight, and the way to get that done is by PEG feedings. That is the best route for him. He has to give himself a chance by getting as much Nutrition as possible- the body needs it to fight the good fight.

He ain't nowhere most of us have not been, Kim. Let him know all of this is fact. He's got it easy compared to some, here, who are many-year Survivors. He's got the tube, so use it. Kim, this is battle with the Big C. This ain't no walk in the park. He's in a fight for his life- a fight we have all fought and won. He has to help himself win this battle. And, Kim, refusal to use the tube does suggest a problem that goes beyond the physical. Yes, there are "regularity" problems, etc., but everyone in C&R experiences those hassles. That's all just part of the battle. Humility is known by all of us, though every one of us knows it for what it is/was= necessary to win our battles with the Big C.

Kim- reckon it's time for him to roll-up his shirtsleeves, take his belt in a notch or two, re-tie his shoestrings, and find himself a kinda-mean grin to be wearing. If he chooses not to do that, Kim, and use the tube he went thru the hassle to have installed, then he really does need to talk to someone. He has C, as we all have, and have done what is necessary to win our battles. Could be a time for you to lay down the law with him. He can, and will, survive this- if he wants to. And do check-into the Jevity. AND, KEEP US INFORMED.

Believe

kcass

Hi Kim

As a caregiver this is one of the hard parts for you both, I was not the best of person when going through treatment my first time, gave my wife and everyone else around me a very hard time. I believe this was because there was so much changing in me, I did not know how to deal with it and there was no one who I could ask for help that I trusted.

There is a lot of very good advice here on these post, I believe the best help is like Scambuster is saying get him to talk to others who have been through this treatment. Somehow there is a command bond that forms between people when you can talk to someone who knows what you are going through.

Also like Kent is saying the stronger his body is the better he will be able to fight the cancer and get back to normal. If we can help please let us know.