Help Me

Sounds like your husband
Sounds like your husband might have gotten his feelings hurt and said some things he didn't mean. It happens to the best of us.

My husband gets grouchy sometimes, too and I know it makes him feel like a worm.....being a jerk to a cancer patient....but husbands are just human, like everyone else.

The stress of our illness impacts everyone around us. Our family dynamics are all gone to hell since I was diagnosed. My husband gets angry if he thinks my kids/grandkids aren't being considerate enough of me - if they ask me to babysit, don't call regularly enough and "check" on me, etc. And the kids get mad at one another for "upsetting mom". I, on the other hand, get cranky when my family members try and tell me what I should/should not be doing. Or if they insist on treating me like a "sick" person.

Have you read The Last Lecture? The author, Randy Pausch, and his wife started seeing a counselor shortly after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. They did not want to waste their time together mired down in arguments and misunderstandings.

Your husband may be angry - not at you, but at the cancer - and since he can't attack the real object of his anger, he projects it onto you, instead. (Not intentionally, of course, or even consciously).

A visit with your sister might give you both a much-needed break, but I would take some colling off time, I think, before I made a decision to change my medical power of attorney.

Cancer brings out the worst in all of us, but remember that you are among friends here and we will always listen and understand.

Carlene

BonnieR said:

Definitely talk to Docs
I am so sorry you are dealing with the depression, but understandably so with all you have been dealing with. Please talk to your medical team and a social worker or your pastor. We have all been to the place you are at, at least those dealing with cancer on going. It wears you out and then add that your bone marrow isn't working so you can even get treatment, oh my goodness the stress that adds.

There have been times in this journey, when Randy could only express anger. Anger is an emotion that comes out in a lot of people when things are beyond their control or they feel helpless. Please make no rash decisions while in the place you are at or before you can sit and talk to someone.

Sending lots of hugs n prayers your way. Love Bonnie

Perhaps you should also look
Perhaps you should also look for a family lawyer? One who deals with family issues. Please feel better soon.

Dear Azgrandma
I am so sorry you are having to deal with emotional and mental stress as well as the fall out from chemo. I do appreciate that loved ones are finding it difficult to cope with "our" cancer but to live with someone who is "grouchy" is so hard. I experience this too so I know what I am talking about. You just need someone to put their arms around you and say its gonna be alright.

Can you not just go to your sisters and say you've changed your mind about the power of attorney? This will buy you some time to "for yourself" to heal physically as well as emotionally. When you are feeling stronger you could re-think your actions.

You have to put yourself first and concentrate on getting well (physically & emotionally) and you could do this at your sisters away from your husband. You could even let your sister take the strain for a bit while you are healing.

Take care Tina x

azgrandma said:

Its ok now
Things are ok now
this whole thngs has gotten to all my family, did not realize this

Hang in there
Hang in there it's just a rough patch. It is hard on everyone nad it will be a rollercoaster ride sometimes.

Cat