captain's log 042410

Captains log 042410..... Eight days previous, I arose from bed, looked in the mirror pointedly at each and every hair follicle, and proclaimed with a deep and demanding voice much like that of Zeus, "Let the follicular recharge....BEGIN!" However, during the course of the following week, daily inspections have found my troops oblivious to the importance of our mission. I consistently find that they blatantly continue to ignore my demands. I consider myself a fair and judicious leader, but their persistent unwillingness to follow orders leaves me pondering what to do. "Punishment," you say? Perhaps, yes, this may for a time regain their attention, however the root of the problem would either remain unsolved or sustain further damage. "A pep talk," you suggest? Out of the question. Pep talks are for puppy dogs and little children. No, no. .....If these young soldiers want to be at the helm of the ship, they will be present for duty at the required time and standing at full attention when instructed.... I am at a loss. It appears....the troops of today simply aren't of "the stuff" of troops passed. I will continue to ponder this....this quandry........ Emily out.
(beep beep electronic star trek noises)