Frustrated or just frightened?

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  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #22
    bingles said:

    update
    Well the children did respond...well at least 2 out of four...came to the house with spouses and children on Tuesday evening....house was overflowing with happiness and contentment...Bill sat at our table...like a King overseeing his kingdom..he was happy and content....not even one issue....it was like time had stood still....evening went on a bit long....with plans made to keep the new connection going.
    I ran out around 10 pm or so to take his daughter home...I was gone about 20 minutes....got home...Bill was happy and very chatty about the evening....zero pain...zero discomfort of any sort.
    Around 11 or so...started getting him ready for bed....and within a blink of an eye....he passed away...right there in my arms....no anxiety ...nothing.
    His last words to me were "I am ok"...what more can I ask for.
    I think he was waiting for some reconcilliation with his kids....he got it !!
    So now comes the healing....the kids have been awesome....they are grappling with their own issues...but on a whole they are really ok....they all came over yesterday....went to the funeral home with me to finalize the arrarangements...we had a small simple viewing..a moment to say our final good-byes...or in my case it was more like a 'see ya later'....and today he will be Cremated.
    They have all commited to an ongoing relationship with me....and I am so for that!
    Bill's final days were in a way magical for him...his wishes for a comfortable passing came to a reality.
    I look around the house now....and while its profoundly sad with the lack of his physical presence...I do feel emense comfort...I stuck to the plan...I will admit to waivering slighty at the end and starting to reach to call 911...the fright got me for a second....but I hung in and just held him.
    A day of planting is on th horizon....and I won't be doing it alone !
    Hospice was a godsend and I am so glad I got him on program right away...it made it so much easier on both of us.
    As I said....now comes the healing and the establishment of a "new normal"
    He will never be forgotten...he will always be in my heart and cherished.
    Thank-you all so much for your support and kindness.
    Pat

    beautiful story
    Your beautiful story brought tears to my eyes. Thanks so much for sharing it. When you are ready (it may be a while), maybe Bill's kids would like to help when you go through his things.

    A garden can be such a healing presence. Don't you love the way it's always waiting for you, first thing in the morning? I am so glad you have one.
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #23
    bingles said:

    update
    Well the children did respond...well at least 2 out of four...came to the house with spouses and children on Tuesday evening....house was overflowing with happiness and contentment...Bill sat at our table...like a King overseeing his kingdom..he was happy and content....not even one issue....it was like time had stood still....evening went on a bit long....with plans made to keep the new connection going.
    I ran out around 10 pm or so to take his daughter home...I was gone about 20 minutes....got home...Bill was happy and very chatty about the evening....zero pain...zero discomfort of any sort.
    Around 11 or so...started getting him ready for bed....and within a blink of an eye....he passed away...right there in my arms....no anxiety ...nothing.
    His last words to me were "I am ok"...what more can I ask for.
    I think he was waiting for some reconcilliation with his kids....he got it !!
    So now comes the healing....the kids have been awesome....they are grappling with their own issues...but on a whole they are really ok....they all came over yesterday....went to the funeral home with me to finalize the arrarangements...we had a small simple viewing..a moment to say our final good-byes...or in my case it was more like a 'see ya later'....and today he will be Cremated.
    They have all commited to an ongoing relationship with me....and I am so for that!
    Bill's final days were in a way magical for him...his wishes for a comfortable passing came to a reality.
    I look around the house now....and while its profoundly sad with the lack of his physical presence...I do feel emense comfort...I stuck to the plan...I will admit to waivering slighty at the end and starting to reach to call 911...the fright got me for a second....but I hung in and just held him.
    A day of planting is on th horizon....and I won't be doing it alone !
    Hospice was a godsend and I am so glad I got him on program right away...it made it so much easier on both of us.
    As I said....now comes the healing and the establishment of a "new normal"
    He will never be forgotten...he will always be in my heart and cherished.
    Thank-you all so much for your support and kindness.
    Pat

    My heartfelt sympathies
    Hi Pat,
    I am so sorry for your recent loss of Bill. But....we have been talking about this being his last days.
    He knew it, and you as his main caregiver knew it. What a wonderful, heartwarming story. I am so very happy that he was surrounded by his family. He had a great night with all of them. I love how is last words to you were that is was okay. And for you to just hold him is beautiful, it brings tears to my eyes. My dad passed away in the arms of my mom, my brother, and my nephew. What a beautiful way to go.

    God bless you and keep all of you at this difficult time. Please continue to come to this site. It has been very helpful for me. I want to be there for others. Just like I have been here for you. Hugs to you and your family. Remember to celebrate his life, think of the wonderful last night of his life. Like he said, He could not ask for anything more.
    Tina
  • bingles
    bingles Member Posts: 120 Member
    #24
    Tina Blondek said:

    My heartfelt sympathies
    Hi Pat,
    I am so sorry for your recent loss of Bill. But....we have been talking about this being his last days.
    He knew it, and you as his main caregiver knew it. What a wonderful, heartwarming story. I am so very happy that he was surrounded by his family. He had a great night with all of them. I love how is last words to you were that is was okay. And for you to just hold him is beautiful, it brings tears to my eyes. My dad passed away in the arms of my mom, my brother, and my nephew. What a beautiful way to go.

    God bless you and keep all of you at this difficult time. Please continue to come to this site. It has been very helpful for me. I want to be there for others. Just like I have been here for you. Hugs to you and your family. Remember to celebrate his life, think of the wonderful last night of his life. Like he said, He could not ask for anything more.
    Tina

    Hi Tina...Thanks so much for
    Hi Tina...Thanks so much for the kind words...it was a magical day for sure...Bill got just what he wanted and actually more I think with the re-connection with the kids....the last two came to see me last night...filled with regret with not having seen him alive....I assured them that all was fine and he held all of his kids in his heart...it gave them well deserved closure.
    Two of Bill's (wild..lol) grand-kids are getting memorial tatoos for their Grand-pa....about brought tears to my eyes.
    We are planning a small get together for the spreading of his ashes...this coming July 3rd..which was the day Bill and I met.
    If anyone questions bringing Hospice on board when a love one is facing a terminal illness such as Bill was....don't question it...do it! Hospice is what made his final days/weeks tolerable....
    I miss him awfully..the tears still flow without warning....but my memories take over and the tears are replaced by a feeling of comfort.
    I am in for a long haul...but at least now I won't be alone..the planting of the garden takes place around the middle of May...but its going to be a team effort...
    Blessings to All....and thanks so very much!
    Pat

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