Hey, Sundance!
Sandy
Comments
-
"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig0 -
Hi Craig,Sundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
I am so sorry to
Hi Craig,
I am so sorry to hear your tumour has grown. I am really glad you had the scan done; you wouldn't want to not know about this. I really appreciate you updating us on this. Pease let us know how your appointment with Dr. DV goes. Your story is not trivial + insignificant - we care about you a lot + want only good things for you. Thanks again to your angel for making this happen. Take good care!0 -
Trivial?Sundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
No way!! And I am so sorry that the tumor has grown but I am thankful that you got the scan....and that is not insignificant by any means.
Don't forget, you have a lot of friends who care for you. Please keep us updated,ok?
-Pat0 -
Craig, far from trivial...Sundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
I'm actually kind of disappointed that you didn't post this before because you have a family here that cares for you and you were keeping this to yourself? Please make a post after you see Dr. D and let us know what his thoughts are.
Are you taking care of yourself? Getting enough sleep? Getting enough to eat? Do I sound like your mother yet?
Love and Hugs
Holly0 -
Well,HollyID said:Craig, far from trivial...
I'm actually kind of disappointed that you didn't post this before because you have a family here that cares for you and you were keeping this to yourself? Please make a post after you see Dr. D and let us know what his thoughts are.
Are you taking care of yourself? Getting enough sleep? Getting enough to eat? Do I sound like your mother yet?
Love and Hugs
Holly
I'm so glad that I asked. But this is some stinkin news. I am just so disappointed in this result I can't tell you just how disappointed. I hope that you will be letting us know what the Dr. recommends and keep us informed cause we really do care ALOT.
Sandy0 -
No Slipping AllowedSundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
Dear One,
It's always good to hear from you. I'm sorry that your scan showed such a significant increase in the tumor. Hopefully you will work out a treatment plan with "Dr DaVinci" and be NED soon. You are very important to all of us and everything that happens to each of us is significant and in no way trivial. Please let us know what the plan is and how you're doing.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Blessings and Big Hugs,
Debbie0 -
Oh, CraigSundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
Gracious! Craig, please don't ever think you shouldn't share your news. We want to know about you! And this is rather large news, I would say. I hope you will get a great game plan when you meet with the good doctor.
In the meantime, know that prayers are being sent out!
*hugs*
Gail0 -
Oh Craig
I'm so sorry that this tumor is growing. I think of you daily but figured you would post the results when you were ready although I was growing impatient waiting.
So the fight goes on and fight you will. You know what is ahead of you with the lung surgery and last time (if memory serves) it was a tough recovery. Hopefully, this time it will go a little more smoothly for you.
This news just sucks.
Take care and we think of you often - Tina and George0 -
Craig,geotina said:Oh Craig
I'm so sorry that this tumor is growing. I think of you daily but figured you would post the results when you were ready although I was growing impatient waiting.
So the fight goes on and fight you will. You know what is ahead of you with the lung surgery and last time (if memory serves) it was a tough recovery. Hopefully, this time it will go a little more smoothly for you.
This news just sucks.
Take care and we think of you often - Tina and George
I too am heartbroken
Craig,
I too am heartbroken to hear the tumor has grown. I've just recently joined this board and you have reached out to me several times and I sincerely appreciate it, more than you can imagine. Please let us know what the doctor recommends. I agree, this news sucks.
Best,
Joanne0 -
Trivial? Insignificant?Sundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
Trivial? Insignificant? These words do NOT belong...
Craig, don't ever ever minimize yourself or your struggles EVER. We're your semi colon family. We love you and care for you.
Keep us posted and know you've got a tribe of warriors praying for you
((HUGS))
Peggy0 -
"It Takes a Village"
Oh, my Holly:)
I would never keep anything from any of you for too long - my life has pretty much been an open book here, right?
Good mornin' Everybody:)
I just got the scans back a couple of days ago and just Yesterday was finally able to get an appt with Dr.D via email:) When I saw Sandy's post, it dawned on me that I better say something now and not later, LOL:) But, I wasn't not going to tell you about it, I promise:)
Our internet service has been interrupted in the evenings for many nights, so I could not post anything either. And with all the tragedy facing the board right now with our beloved members, it all together was weighing heavily on my mind. I was having alot of bad feelings inside me and I was trying to rid myself of those, so I could post.
All of it sorta' took me to my "dark place" where I was doing alot of thinking about everyone else and finally had to think about what I was about to have to go through again...I'm just so "tired" of it all and I was trying to get some more info and gather my thoughts on what to tell everybody after I worked this all back through in my mind. (Tina had it right)
My stuff, to me, just didn't seem to matter when there are some of our people in hospice, who've had strokes, and fighting for their lives. I've never been one to step on anyone's toes - I usually just take a back seat - I look for the right moment when the "waters look calm" to try and get the word out. That's just how I am - others first.
I often forget that others are sometimes waiting on hearing from me - it's a big character flaw that I'm still working on - I am a fallible man and make mistakes from time to time. I'm still not used to being cared for - for my entire life, I have seldom been so.
It's a constant adjustment for me to realize that I might matter to someone else...it's very humbling. My focus here has always been on others and from time to time, I have to look at my own situation, and handle whatever it is that I need to do.
It sometimes does not occur to me, that hey, I care about others and what's going on with them and their lives - and I don't reverse it, and think, well maybe they want to know about me too?
My bout with Cancer was and still is to take the focus off of me and direct it to somebody else, to help them. I'm an old veteran of this mess (coming up on 6-years) and it keeps me sane to try and help other folks, and put my needs aside and not think too much about myself.
I remember an old line from one of the Star Trek movies, where Spock said, "The needs of the many, are greater than the needs of the few, or the ONE."
Which is sort of hypocritical of me, because my mantra here on the board would go something like this, "The needs of the ONE, are as great, as the needs of the many." Of course, that's if the ONE is you and not me.
(That pretty much sums up the way I work on the board - you first, and we'll get to me later. Maybe, I just don't value myself enough.
I suppose when times are rough here on the board, I just think let's talk about somebody else, and we'll get to me later. I'll keep trying to get over that - I'm a work in progress, you know.
Many of you talk about this being your 2nd family - well, in my case, you are my family - you are all that Kim and I have. With all of you in my life, I feel like I have a purpose for getting up everyday - I just did not grow up being valued, and so it is hard for me to this day, to feel like I mean something to someone else. But you guys have been really good about "puttin' me straight" about that. I'll ask that you continue to help me with this one.
I don't have a hard time giving to anyone, but receiving is still something I'm working on - with your help, I hope to get there step by step...won't you walk with me along the way? Strike that, YOU already are.
Thanks again to this beautiful community - you've really enriched my life and made the days worth living for. I WILL post what we already know is coming next week after I meet with Dr. D.
Someone recently asked, "When will it end?"
The short and easy answer is, "It will end - when it ends - and not before."
But I have to tell you folks, "I'm still tired."
Thank you all for being who you are - and what you are to me:)
-Craig0 -
You speak to all of usSundanceh said:"It Takes a Village"
Oh, my Holly:)
I would never keep anything from any of you for too long - my life has pretty much been an open book here, right?
Good mornin' Everybody:)
I just got the scans back a couple of days ago and just Yesterday was finally able to get an appt with Dr.D via email:) When I saw Sandy's post, it dawned on me that I better say something now and not later, LOL:) But, I wasn't not going to tell you about it, I promise:)
Our internet service has been interrupted in the evenings for many nights, so I could not post anything either. And with all the tragedy facing the board right now with our beloved members, it all together was weighing heavily on my mind. I was having alot of bad feelings inside me and I was trying to rid myself of those, so I could post.
All of it sorta' took me to my "dark place" where I was doing alot of thinking about everyone else and finally had to think about what I was about to have to go through again...I'm just so "tired" of it all and I was trying to get some more info and gather my thoughts on what to tell everybody after I worked this all back through in my mind. (Tina had it right)
My stuff, to me, just didn't seem to matter when there are some of our people in hospice, who've had strokes, and fighting for their lives. I've never been one to step on anyone's toes - I usually just take a back seat - I look for the right moment when the "waters look calm" to try and get the word out. That's just how I am - others first.
I often forget that others are sometimes waiting on hearing from me - it's a big character flaw that I'm still working on - I am a fallible man and make mistakes from time to time. I'm still not used to being cared for - for my entire life, I have seldom been so.
It's a constant adjustment for me to realize that I might matter to someone else...it's very humbling. My focus here has always been on others and from time to time, I have to look at my own situation, and handle whatever it is that I need to do.
It sometimes does not occur to me, that hey, I care about others and what's going on with them and their lives - and I don't reverse it, and think, well maybe they want to know about me too?
My bout with Cancer was and still is to take the focus off of me and direct it to somebody else, to help them. I'm an old veteran of this mess (coming up on 6-years) and it keeps me sane to try and help other folks, and put my needs aside and not think too much about myself.
I remember an old line from one of the Star Trek movies, where Spock said, "The needs of the many, are greater than the needs of the few, or the ONE."
Which is sort of hypocritical of me, because my mantra here on the board would go something like this, "The needs of the ONE, are as great, as the needs of the many." Of course, that's if the ONE is you and not me.
(That pretty much sums up the way I work on the board - you first, and we'll get to me later. Maybe, I just don't value myself enough.
I suppose when times are rough here on the board, I just think let's talk about somebody else, and we'll get to me later. I'll keep trying to get over that - I'm a work in progress, you know.
Many of you talk about this being your 2nd family - well, in my case, you are my family - you are all that Kim and I have. With all of you in my life, I feel like I have a purpose for getting up everyday - I just did not grow up being valued, and so it is hard for me to this day, to feel like I mean something to someone else. But you guys have been really good about "puttin' me straight" about that. I'll ask that you continue to help me with this one.
I don't have a hard time giving to anyone, but receiving is still something I'm working on - with your help, I hope to get there step by step...won't you walk with me along the way? Strike that, YOU already are.
Thanks again to this beautiful community - you've really enriched my life and made the days worth living for. I WILL post what we already know is coming next week after I meet with Dr. D.
Someone recently asked, "When will it end?"
The short and easy answer is, "It will end - when it ends - and not before."
But I have to tell you folks, "I'm still tired."
Thank you all for being who you are - and what you are to me:)
-Craig
I suppose your comment that hit me the hardest is "I'm still tired." I also have been in this battle for going on 6 years and it is very tiring at times. I have had many recurrences and sometimes I just don't have the energy for the fight! Luckily those days don't last long, and I am onto the next battle. Days like this when we get more bad news makes it even harder. I am very blessed with a loving family and loving friends, and it pains my heart to see you write that we are all you and Kim have, since we are only a virtual community. This board certainly fulfills an important part of our need to connect with fellow survivors of colorectal cancer, not just cancer, with all the information and shared experiences of others following in a very similar journey to ourselves. However, we are still just a virtual community, and are very limited in the amount of true human connection this media is capable of providing. I've often wondered what moves someone to meet in person with people they meet online, but your post states very clearly reasons for such desire and reasons why it can be important. You are indeed an important member of this community and I hope you are able to see that more clearly every day and remember to keep us updated on your journey.
mary0 -
Craig
Craig,
You mean so much to us, please don't ever think we aren't waiting to hear about you. We are thinking about you, you are in our hearts. I am sorry that you have to continue this fight but I appreciate that you will fight on. You give us hope and encouragement. Let us give to you.
Aloha,
Kathleen0 -
CraigSundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
Get that tumor taken care of right away! I am not letting you slip through the cracks. Everyone's journey is important.
Please do take care of yourself. I am glad you have an appt. coming soon. Keeping you in my prayers always.
Marie0 -
Hey Craig!Sundanceh said:"It Takes a Village"
Oh, my Holly:)
I would never keep anything from any of you for too long - my life has pretty much been an open book here, right?
Good mornin' Everybody:)
I just got the scans back a couple of days ago and just Yesterday was finally able to get an appt with Dr.D via email:) When I saw Sandy's post, it dawned on me that I better say something now and not later, LOL:) But, I wasn't not going to tell you about it, I promise:)
Our internet service has been interrupted in the evenings for many nights, so I could not post anything either. And with all the tragedy facing the board right now with our beloved members, it all together was weighing heavily on my mind. I was having alot of bad feelings inside me and I was trying to rid myself of those, so I could post.
All of it sorta' took me to my "dark place" where I was doing alot of thinking about everyone else and finally had to think about what I was about to have to go through again...I'm just so "tired" of it all and I was trying to get some more info and gather my thoughts on what to tell everybody after I worked this all back through in my mind. (Tina had it right)
My stuff, to me, just didn't seem to matter when there are some of our people in hospice, who've had strokes, and fighting for their lives. I've never been one to step on anyone's toes - I usually just take a back seat - I look for the right moment when the "waters look calm" to try and get the word out. That's just how I am - others first.
I often forget that others are sometimes waiting on hearing from me - it's a big character flaw that I'm still working on - I am a fallible man and make mistakes from time to time. I'm still not used to being cared for - for my entire life, I have seldom been so.
It's a constant adjustment for me to realize that I might matter to someone else...it's very humbling. My focus here has always been on others and from time to time, I have to look at my own situation, and handle whatever it is that I need to do.
It sometimes does not occur to me, that hey, I care about others and what's going on with them and their lives - and I don't reverse it, and think, well maybe they want to know about me too?
My bout with Cancer was and still is to take the focus off of me and direct it to somebody else, to help them. I'm an old veteran of this mess (coming up on 6-years) and it keeps me sane to try and help other folks, and put my needs aside and not think too much about myself.
I remember an old line from one of the Star Trek movies, where Spock said, "The needs of the many, are greater than the needs of the few, or the ONE."
Which is sort of hypocritical of me, because my mantra here on the board would go something like this, "The needs of the ONE, are as great, as the needs of the many." Of course, that's if the ONE is you and not me.
(That pretty much sums up the way I work on the board - you first, and we'll get to me later. Maybe, I just don't value myself enough.
I suppose when times are rough here on the board, I just think let's talk about somebody else, and we'll get to me later. I'll keep trying to get over that - I'm a work in progress, you know.
Many of you talk about this being your 2nd family - well, in my case, you are my family - you are all that Kim and I have. With all of you in my life, I feel like I have a purpose for getting up everyday - I just did not grow up being valued, and so it is hard for me to this day, to feel like I mean something to someone else. But you guys have been really good about "puttin' me straight" about that. I'll ask that you continue to help me with this one.
I don't have a hard time giving to anyone, but receiving is still something I'm working on - with your help, I hope to get there step by step...won't you walk with me along the way? Strike that, YOU already are.
Thanks again to this beautiful community - you've really enriched my life and made the days worth living for. I WILL post what we already know is coming next week after I meet with Dr. D.
Someone recently asked, "When will it end?"
The short and easy answer is, "It will end - when it ends - and not before."
But I have to tell you folks, "I'm still tired."
Thank you all for being who you are - and what you are to me:)
-Craig
Sorry to hear about this new tumour! I hope Da Vinci can offer some treatment options. I'm sure you don't relish the idea of more surgery but if it can be cut out... then go for it!
Peace and blessings... Rob; in Vancouver0 -
Craig,Sundanceh said:"It Takes a Village"
Oh, my Holly:)
I would never keep anything from any of you for too long - my life has pretty much been an open book here, right?
Good mornin' Everybody:)
I just got the scans back a couple of days ago and just Yesterday was finally able to get an appt with Dr.D via email:) When I saw Sandy's post, it dawned on me that I better say something now and not later, LOL:) But, I wasn't not going to tell you about it, I promise:)
Our internet service has been interrupted in the evenings for many nights, so I could not post anything either. And with all the tragedy facing the board right now with our beloved members, it all together was weighing heavily on my mind. I was having alot of bad feelings inside me and I was trying to rid myself of those, so I could post.
All of it sorta' took me to my "dark place" where I was doing alot of thinking about everyone else and finally had to think about what I was about to have to go through again...I'm just so "tired" of it all and I was trying to get some more info and gather my thoughts on what to tell everybody after I worked this all back through in my mind. (Tina had it right)
My stuff, to me, just didn't seem to matter when there are some of our people in hospice, who've had strokes, and fighting for their lives. I've never been one to step on anyone's toes - I usually just take a back seat - I look for the right moment when the "waters look calm" to try and get the word out. That's just how I am - others first.
I often forget that others are sometimes waiting on hearing from me - it's a big character flaw that I'm still working on - I am a fallible man and make mistakes from time to time. I'm still not used to being cared for - for my entire life, I have seldom been so.
It's a constant adjustment for me to realize that I might matter to someone else...it's very humbling. My focus here has always been on others and from time to time, I have to look at my own situation, and handle whatever it is that I need to do.
It sometimes does not occur to me, that hey, I care about others and what's going on with them and their lives - and I don't reverse it, and think, well maybe they want to know about me too?
My bout with Cancer was and still is to take the focus off of me and direct it to somebody else, to help them. I'm an old veteran of this mess (coming up on 6-years) and it keeps me sane to try and help other folks, and put my needs aside and not think too much about myself.
I remember an old line from one of the Star Trek movies, where Spock said, "The needs of the many, are greater than the needs of the few, or the ONE."
Which is sort of hypocritical of me, because my mantra here on the board would go something like this, "The needs of the ONE, are as great, as the needs of the many." Of course, that's if the ONE is you and not me.
(That pretty much sums up the way I work on the board - you first, and we'll get to me later. Maybe, I just don't value myself enough.
I suppose when times are rough here on the board, I just think let's talk about somebody else, and we'll get to me later. I'll keep trying to get over that - I'm a work in progress, you know.
Many of you talk about this being your 2nd family - well, in my case, you are my family - you are all that Kim and I have. With all of you in my life, I feel like I have a purpose for getting up everyday - I just did not grow up being valued, and so it is hard for me to this day, to feel like I mean something to someone else. But you guys have been really good about "puttin' me straight" about that. I'll ask that you continue to help me with this one.
I don't have a hard time giving to anyone, but receiving is still something I'm working on - with your help, I hope to get there step by step...won't you walk with me along the way? Strike that, YOU already are.
Thanks again to this beautiful community - you've really enriched my life and made the days worth living for. I WILL post what we already know is coming next week after I meet with Dr. D.
Someone recently asked, "When will it end?"
The short and easy answer is, "It will end - when it ends - and not before."
But I have to tell you folks, "I'm still tired."
Thank you all for being who you are - and what you are to me:)
-Craig
Don't you ever think
Craig,
Don't you ever think not to say anything on this board. You were one of the first to reach out to me when I came here and your strenght and words have meant the world to me. We are all at a different stage of the fight and reagrdless of what is happening good or bad with out family here, we want to know.
This place has been a source of comfort for me, even in the moments of sadness when a member is lost. This site ( and you Sundance) gives us a place to go when no one else knows how we feel, we laugh together, get angry together, set one another straight and we greive together too. Please remember no matter what is going on with others, we still want, no need to hear from you!
Kathy0 -
Craig, you are always hereSundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
Craig, you are always here for everybody else. Let us be here for you. I, too, join the others in awaiting your next report, and hoping that everything is treatable.0 -
SorrySundanceh said:"Slipped Through the Cracks"
Hi Sandy
How thoughtful of you to be checking up on me. I appreciate your kindness and compassion and for keeping me in your thoughts:)
Too much time went by and it appeared that I "slipped through the cracks." No phone calls, emails, or any correspondence was sent by either the surgeon's or the onc's office.
I requested a copy of my CT scan report to be sent to my house, so I could eyeball and see where I'm at myself - who needs a doctor anyway, LOL:) I'm not half bad at interpreting results.
I was not expecting good news - and I was not disappointed. The tumor has grown 2.5 times in size the last 3 months - so for reference, I've got a "PING PONG" ball sized tumor sitting in the pleura of my right lung.
What did amaze me was how quickly it is growing - and it continues to grow rapidly. I knew I had a tumor and I was expecting it to be bigger, but this caught my attention in a big way.
If it were not for "Angel", I would not know what I know today - her brilliant insight and call to action probably saved my life, and at the very least alot of heartache. Left unchecked and un-monitored, by my math, this tumor has the potential to be baseball size or bigger before the year was up....can you imagine?
Her helping me get this test was no accident - and I've told her this - she saw the post and made it happen in the blink of an eye. My wife and I cannot thank her enough. She saw something in me and wanted to help - she's the epitome of what we would do if we had the resources to do so. One day, I hope to take a page out of her playbook and do for someone, what she did for me.
Today, I was able to set up an appt with "Dr. DaVinci" to get his take on things - I've got a few questions and I figure he and I better sit down eyeball to eyeball and just touch base. But I already know where this is heading...I meet with him next Tuesday.
My story seems so trivial and insignificant with what everyone else has going on right now in our community. It's almost embarassing to even mention. But, I want to thank you so much for reaching out to me and "knocking on my door." Such a sweet gesture to open this post.
But try not to worry about me too much. And thank you for not letting me "slip through the cracks" on the board - this really meant alot to me. You are too kind:)
We'll see what Dr. D says and then I can add some more to this.
Take care, Sandy!
-Craig
Sorry to hear that the tumor has grown. Glad to see your surgeon will see you. I think he should see you free of charge, since you allowed him to use the robot to do your last surgery so he can get certified. Take care and keep us posted. God Bless.
Margaret0
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