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It does come back

It does come back. I am 67 and my 6 weeks of chemo/radiation was almost 2 years back. ED lasted for almost a year. All is working fine for the last 6 months. The only thing is I no longer produce semen. The problem is not me, my wife is no longer taking hormones and she has no interest and says sex is too painful.

Now, if that little nurse that does my port flushes were to say the right thing, I think I would fire up quicker and stronger then a diesel tractor on a hot day.

Clift
good post. For anyone who wants information on women and effects of radiation, I'd be happy to oblige. I had 6 weeks of radiation after transanal excision for Stage I, T2 rectal cancer. Some issues I have dealt with: vaginal/perineal/anal burns/sores, prolonged (3 weeks) bleeding due to ovaries being zapped, painful intercourse, treatment for prevention of vaginal atrophy/dryness, abrupt menopause with decreased libido, tight/painful hips/pelvis, and bowel urgency. Everyone has different ways in how to deal with these problems. For anyone who wants to know, I'll tell you how I dealt with them and hope that I could be helpful.
Hope, Peace, and Healing to All.
Audrey

Kerry S said:

It does come back

It does come back. I am 67 and my 6 weeks of chemo/radiation was almost 2 years back. ED lasted for almost a year. All is working fine for the last 6 months. The only thing is I no longer produce semen. The problem is not me, my wife is no longer taking hormones and she has no interest and says sex is too painful.

Now, if that little nurse that does my port flushes were to say the right thing, I think I would fire up quicker and stronger then a diesel tractor on a hot day.

Now, if that little nurse that does my port flushes were to say
bwahahaha!!! crack me up, I just spit my coffee out!

peggy

RickMurtagh said:

hijacked
A couple of men start dialogue on cancer effects on sex and the women hijack it, even talking about oral sex. Where are you men? COWARDS! I would post something, but I...umm...have...surgery, ha, I have surgery today and have to be at the hospital in thirty minutes and have to finish a new Advanced Directive before I go.
When I come back I want at least ten posts from men on this subject. Manly posts, nothing about crying during sex or anything mushy like that. Make it medical sounding if you have to. Come on men, or are you COWARDS?

Yer right,its hard to talk about shrinking violets and other
nonfunctioning appendages with women interceding so I'll send Buzzard PM on this touchy topic. All I'll say here is things ain't been the same since surgery tho onc will be refering me to urologist. Ain't used to this!!!!!!(I'll take any type of sex now (butt anal--try and you die!!!!!) but I still think it won;t work......Help

Great thread - thanks for
Great thread - thanks for starting it. A much needed one for candor among males so that expectations and appropriate decisions on treatment can be made before hand.

Warning - if under 21, get parent's permission before reading this thread.

As for sex, I think each of us needs to level set on how we meet our own and our partner's needs. As someone who is only mid 40's, I noticed some drop off in drive and ability as I got older - not the always ready walking around with a boner like my 20's ;-). So with age/confidence in myself and relationship, we simply modify technique and try new stuff. Erection and male orgasm, is only one part of the sexual experience. If I focused solely on that, then sex would have been pretty one sided, pretty boring, and frustrating for both of us - in my opinion.

So, understanding that, we have a lot of fun finding pleasure spots that have not always required penetration. Hey, what's this sensitive spot on the back of the wife's neck that I now know I can kiss out her orgasm. Hey want to try out that new bedroom toy. Your mileage may vary and will depend upon your openness and relationship with your partner. I'm a very lucky man.

So with that foundation, I'm not too hung up (bad pun) for on demand erections, and understand treatment/surgery options likely will decrease ability and perhaps desire. My question from my other thread was which options have what degree of an effect on all the lower part of the body functions - fecal control, urine control, sexual functionality, and any other lower body pain/discomfort/issues/risks.

I'm a cancer newbie, never been seriously sick or o any medication prior, and only have completed pre surgery chemo and radiation. Surgery is about 4 weeks away. I think I have been very lucky with the limited side effects in general, and with the male specific concerns particularly.

I finished 6 weeks of radiation , with oxy and xeloda. All was a M-f with weekends off.

Did not engage in sex during this time because was concerned about toxicity of body fluids and really not in the mood or too tired. The red/white blood cells dropped in week 3 and so did I. Also, constipation and painful stool exit makes one eat less, so energy takes a dive too.

In week 4, the radiation burn started and pain acted as additional deterrent to sex (and most other things). I did catch up on a lot of bad sci-fi movies and tv series while laying on my belly, so not that the time was not used productively ;-) Radiation pain was on skin on butt.. scrotum and penis pretty much ok. Some discomfort during urination - could "feel" bladder empty, discomfort and feeling of not fully draining the lizard.

Radiation burn on outer skin got worse and did not begin to subside until 1 week after treatment ended. I'm at about 90% of healing 2 weeks after treatments ended. Still some sense of urgency when bladder full. Minor irritation with bowel movements - I'd assume similar to hemorrhoids - or maybe that's what I have now.

For the past week I feel great - just tired and know that the bottom is still healing al around. We had a go at sex and was able to have erection as before, but not really a comfortable one. Pretty sure it was radiation effects. Skin tight like its sun damaged. Orgasm was not painful, but not pleasurable - just weird feeling. Gonna hold off for another week so I don't injure anything while still healing.

Candid enough?

dschreffler said:

Great thread - thanks for
Great thread - thanks for starting it. A much needed one for candor among males so that expectations and appropriate decisions on treatment can be made before hand.

Warning - if under 21, get parent's permission before reading this thread.

As for sex, I think each of us needs to level set on how we meet our own and our partner's needs. As someone who is only mid 40's, I noticed some drop off in drive and ability as I got older - not the always ready walking around with a boner like my 20's ;-). So with age/confidence in myself and relationship, we simply modify technique and try new stuff. Erection and male orgasm, is only one part of the sexual experience. If I focused solely on that, then sex would have been pretty one sided, pretty boring, and frustrating for both of us - in my opinion.

So, understanding that, we have a lot of fun finding pleasure spots that have not always required penetration. Hey, what's this sensitive spot on the back of the wife's neck that I now know I can kiss out her orgasm. Hey want to try out that new bedroom toy. Your mileage may vary and will depend upon your openness and relationship with your partner. I'm a very lucky man.

So with that foundation, I'm not too hung up (bad pun) for on demand erections, and understand treatment/surgery options likely will decrease ability and perhaps desire. My question from my other thread was which options have what degree of an effect on all the lower part of the body functions - fecal control, urine control, sexual functionality, and any other lower body pain/discomfort/issues/risks.

I'm a cancer newbie, never been seriously sick or o any medication prior, and only have completed pre surgery chemo and radiation. Surgery is about 4 weeks away. I think I have been very lucky with the limited side effects in general, and with the male specific concerns particularly.

I finished 6 weeks of radiation , with oxy and xeloda. All was a M-f with weekends off.

Did not engage in sex during this time because was concerned about toxicity of body fluids and really not in the mood or too tired. The red/white blood cells dropped in week 3 and so did I. Also, constipation and painful stool exit makes one eat less, so energy takes a dive too.

In week 4, the radiation burn started and pain acted as additional deterrent to sex (and most other things). I did catch up on a lot of bad sci-fi movies and tv series while laying on my belly, so not that the time was not used productively ;-) Radiation pain was on skin on butt.. scrotum and penis pretty much ok. Some discomfort during urination - could "feel" bladder empty, discomfort and feeling of not fully draining the lizard.

Radiation burn on outer skin got worse and did not begin to subside until 1 week after treatment ended. I'm at about 90% of healing 2 weeks after treatments ended. Still some sense of urgency when bladder full. Minor irritation with bowel movements - I'd assume similar to hemorrhoids - or maybe that's what I have now.

For the past week I feel great - just tired and know that the bottom is still healing al around. We had a go at sex and was able to have erection as before, but not really a comfortable one. Pretty sure it was radiation effects. Skin tight like its sun damaged. Orgasm was not painful, but not pleasurable - just weird feeling. Gonna hold off for another week so I don't injure anything while still healing.

Candid enough?

WOW....I needed something to
WOW....I needed something to take my mind off a sad event today....THANKS!

abrub said:

oral sex
I would probably skip the oral portions during chemo treatments and for a few days after. I read about a woman who was allergic to an antibiotic, and reacted to it in her husband's semen - took a while to diagnose the problem!

Also, if chemo gets on your skin, it's considered a "Hazardous Material Situation" I was sent home with hazmat kits in case my chemo pump ever leaked (it did), so I wouldn't want it on my skin. (Just coursing through my veins...)

On the other hand, much of the chemo is broken down and diluted before it gets to the semen. This is something you can ask your onc (believe me, he's already heard everything) or else your gyn.

Regarding the large intestine - if you are fully healed (many months post op) and functioning normally, you should be able to try again, taking it very easy, and stopping if there is any unusual pain. Again, I'd ask my dr. (I do ask mine anything.)

Asking Onc
I have tried on more than one occasion to ask these exact questions to my onc. It is sooooooo embarrasing! the words just would not come out of my mouth. I have an appointment this Thursday morning with him. I may write the questions down and just let him read them. I think that may be easier for me. Thanks for your advice.

Jennie