So scatterbrained
Thanks!
Beth
Comments
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Chemo brain does reverse
Chemo brain does reverse itself...honestly! There is something I learned which helped me immensly! You know how when we walk into the living room from the bedroom and forget WHY
we came to that room? And how we have always been told to go back where we started from, re-trace our steps, and that way we can remember? I learned something better! Do NOT go back and re-trace! Stay where you are and force your brain to work at remembering! I have been doing this for over 3 years now, and I am amazed that whooo-hooo, I can actually remember!
I of course take notes and lists everywhere I go~ especially to the grocery store. But seriously, who doesn't?! If my sweetie goes to store and things are not written down, he will remember most, but not everything we needed...even when it is just 3 or 4 items. And he isn't a survivor; unless you count that he survived MY having cancer! :-) We have laughed that for 3 days now, neither of us has remembered that we are out of butter until we get home!
One of my favorite quotes is from the movie The Great Debaters:
"We do what we have to do, so we can do what we want to do."
If taking notes, stumbling over words and repeating ourselves for the umpteenth time is what we have to do while we are waging battle with the Beast, so be it! You will get there, sister! And you are in great company!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
Beth
it will slowly comes back to normal. Keep your notes and to do lists handy. It will take time. You can try mental games too. Try to focus on one tasks and you will be fine. I guess multitasking was the last to return in my case.
Hugs,
New Flower0 -
Thanks for the encouragementNew Flower said:Beth
it will slowly comes back to normal. Keep your notes and to do lists handy. It will take time. You can try mental games too. Try to focus on one tasks and you will be fine. I guess multitasking was the last to return in my case.
Hugs,
New Flower
Ladies, Thanks for the encouragement that my brain will begin functioning again. I've been doing sudoku and crosswords until I'm almost crazy. With the crosswords, I know the word but it takes me awhile to bring it to memory. Thanks for the tip - to stand in place and make myself remember why I came into the room. Right now I find that even having a conversation with somebody is difficult - I forget where I'm going right in the middle of the sentence! I even forget that I've told people certain things - and I'm sure they wonder why I repeat myself all the time.
I'm thankful to know it will get better in time.
Beth0 -
To my family and goodBethInAz said:Thanks for the encouragement
Ladies, Thanks for the encouragement that my brain will begin functioning again. I've been doing sudoku and crosswords until I'm almost crazy. With the crosswords, I know the word but it takes me awhile to bring it to memory. Thanks for the tip - to stand in place and make myself remember why I came into the room. Right now I find that even having a conversation with somebody is difficult - I forget where I'm going right in the middle of the sentence! I even forget that I've told people certain things - and I'm sure they wonder why I repeat myself all the time.
I'm thankful to know it will get better in time.
Beth
To my family and good friends, I told them what the effects of chemo brain are, and that I would be repeating things because I simply didn't remember if I had already told them. I asked them to please GENTLY say "You told me that earlier" or something similar without rolling their eyes or staring into space as I told them the same story for the zillionth time. It really did help me to focus, and it helped them not hate me for something I couldn't help! LOL I ended up saying "did I tell you about..." a lot! But eventually, it just faded away and ta-da I'm now trying to forget things instead of remembering them! :-)
It's just another cancer indignity~ in case we aren't humbled enough by the experience!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
my 2 cents worthBethInAz said:Thanks for the encouragement
Ladies, Thanks for the encouragement that my brain will begin functioning again. I've been doing sudoku and crosswords until I'm almost crazy. With the crosswords, I know the word but it takes me awhile to bring it to memory. Thanks for the tip - to stand in place and make myself remember why I came into the room. Right now I find that even having a conversation with somebody is difficult - I forget where I'm going right in the middle of the sentence! I even forget that I've told people certain things - and I'm sure they wonder why I repeat myself all the time.
I'm thankful to know it will get better in time.
Beth
I am a Speech-Language Pathologist (among other things). One of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard was from a public speaker who came to a workshop to talk to a group of SLPs about stuttering. His opening remark just after his name was, "I stutter. When I stutter it sounds like..."(he proceeded to demonstrate). Then he went on with his speech. He did indeed stutter, but it did not detract from his speech. His point was that the best way deal with the fear of stuttering was to own up to it up front, get it out in the open so that he did not have to be afraid that someone might find out he stuttered (which was inevitable anyway). I have found it very helpful to deal with my forgetfulness the same way. When I meet a person, I say, "You should be aware that I do not remember names, and I sometimes repeat what I say." That way neither of us expects me to remember. On the rare occasion when I do, it is a pleasant surprise.
I also want to say that mental recovery, just like everything else related to cancer, is an individual thing. I am going on 3 years post chemo. While I am better than I was during chemo, I do not feel like I am as good as pre-chemo. I think I have gotten better at using calendars and notes to self.
That's my 2 cents worth, anyway.
be well, seof0 -
What was the question? Oh
What was the question? Oh yes, Now I remember.....lol.....the chemo brain is an odd thing. I used to be so OCD about organization, dates, this..that..the other...all in order. Everything! I always loved the saying from Heffalump Halloween by Rabbit, "I have all the fun maticulously planned out!" Now I plan really nothing...have nothing organized...and quite frankly I don't really care. I tend to mix up words like I'll say I put batteries in the refrigerator and mean the remote! My family takes it in stride and they figure out eventually what I'm talking about. I now have so may things named "that thing over there". My poor daughter tries to figure out what the "thing" is since now that everything in my house is named "thing". I think the chemo brain has helped me in a strange way. Either that or the bc has put things in perspective! Probably a mix of the.....uuummmmm.....what was I saying? : )0 -
Oh Tawny! Thank you!!!TawnyS said:What was the question? Oh
What was the question? Oh yes, Now I remember.....lol.....the chemo brain is an odd thing. I used to be so OCD about organization, dates, this..that..the other...all in order. Everything! I always loved the saying from Heffalump Halloween by Rabbit, "I have all the fun maticulously planned out!" Now I plan really nothing...have nothing organized...and quite frankly I don't really care. I tend to mix up words like I'll say I put batteries in the refrigerator and mean the remote! My family takes it in stride and they figure out eventually what I'm talking about. I now have so may things named "that thing over there". My poor daughter tries to figure out what the "thing" is since now that everything in my house is named "thing". I think the chemo brain has helped me in a strange way. Either that or the bc has put things in perspective! Probably a mix of the.....uuummmmm.....what was I saying? : )
You made my day, girl! You're a riot! How fun to be able to look at ourselves so honestly and find humor in each day. I agree too with the Seof and her assessment of just being upfront with people and saying, "You know, I'm probably going to repeat myself, repeat myself, repeat myself..." Everybody has known I'm kinda wacky anyways, so this is not so new but it has to be a little crazy for my husband who's around me all the time. I was in the middle of putting the milk into the cookbook cupboard the other day and laughed out loud. When my husband asked me the other day where I'd placed an important piece of paper, I looked at him blankly at which point he said "Ah Oh..." I said, "Be not afraid! I will find it! Which I proudly did in about 2 hours..."
This BC stuff does teach us and those around us patience, does it not?
Beth0 -
Just checked your picsTawnyS said:What was the question? Oh
What was the question? Oh yes, Now I remember.....lol.....the chemo brain is an odd thing. I used to be so OCD about organization, dates, this..that..the other...all in order. Everything! I always loved the saying from Heffalump Halloween by Rabbit, "I have all the fun maticulously planned out!" Now I plan really nothing...have nothing organized...and quite frankly I don't really care. I tend to mix up words like I'll say I put batteries in the refrigerator and mean the remote! My family takes it in stride and they figure out eventually what I'm talking about. I now have so may things named "that thing over there". My poor daughter tries to figure out what the "thing" is since now that everything in my house is named "thing". I think the chemo brain has helped me in a strange way. Either that or the bc has put things in perspective! Probably a mix of the.....uuummmmm.....what was I saying? : )
Tawny, By the way, I just checked out your pictures on expressions - and you're a beauty with a bald head! You glow, girl - what a great attitude you have. It's a pleasure reading your posts.
Beth0 -
This BC stuff does teach us and those around us patience, does iBethInAz said:Oh Tawny! Thank you!!!
You made my day, girl! You're a riot! How fun to be able to look at ourselves so honestly and find humor in each day. I agree too with the Seof and her assessment of just being upfront with people and saying, "You know, I'm probably going to repeat myself, repeat myself, repeat myself..." Everybody has known I'm kinda wacky anyways, so this is not so new but it has to be a little crazy for my husband who's around me all the time. I was in the middle of putting the milk into the cookbook cupboard the other day and laughed out loud. When my husband asked me the other day where I'd placed an important piece of paper, I looked at him blankly at which point he said "Ah Oh..." I said, "Be not afraid! I will find it! Which I proudly did in about 2 hours..."
This BC stuff does teach us and those around us patience, does it not?
Beth
You nailed it Beth! When I saw my dad laugh the day This conversation occured:
ME: Dad, I left you a phone message on a pad.
HIM: (at a commercial break, so I had forgotten we had talked) Where is that pad?
ME: HUH? What are you talking about?
HIM: Where is the pad you used?
ME: I guess in the closet with the rest of the Always pads that Mom keeps "in case".
I knew he had changed. First,before BC, (kinda like the Bible, if you read it or whatever, there is BC and AC), well, BC, he would have gotten a bit pissy that I didnt' remmeber what pad he was talking about and said, Huh? what pad?...Then when I said the Always pads, he just laughed. He was not the most patient man before all this happened to me, but since I came here to stay with them while going thru treatment, so as not to be alone, he has become much more relaxed and understanding. In certain situations at least, and definitely with me. When I can't think of a word, he doesn't get frustrated, he tries to help me figure out what I am thinking of, even if he knows...
And my mother, my god, she has come to every appointment, came to every chemo session, spent so much time with me in the Hospital when I was sidetracked from chemo and sick. I don't even know how to ever thank her. Really. I can't even think of what she has done for me without crying.
BUT, as for my Chemo Brain, I had my last chemo on March 31, so I don't expect it to be gone at all yet, and it isn't, also I have been put on a Drug called Topomax, for a 5 month headache, and that is another memory eraser,so with both of them together, I think instead of being 36,I have regressed to the vocab and memory of about a 6 year old. It's definitley fristrating at times, but I have to look at it as funny with those I know, and I also tell people that I am on some meds at the moment that take my memory away. ANd I think they can tell why by my bald head. lol....I don't wear a wig much, just a winter hat when it's cold. ANd I just make sure if I am going somewhere to add at least an extra 1/2 hour or so for getting ready, as I will come back in the house at least 4 times for forgetting something, or trying to find soemthing I need in my pocketbook.
It's good to hear that it'll go away, though...0 -
Awwww.....thanks!BethInAz said:Just checked your pics
Tawny, By the way, I just checked out your pictures on expressions - and you're a beauty with a bald head! You glow, girl - what a great attitude you have. It's a pleasure reading your posts.
Beth
That is the first time sharing my bald head with people other than my family. I thought this would be the best place to share it! I never bought a wig...I only wore scarves. Today I bought a hot pink wig for some event at my daughter's school. It is so strange to see me with hair again. I am liking the pink! Maybe I should think about that being my new hair color......when I get hair!
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Pink hairTawnyS said:Awwww.....thanks!
That is the first time sharing my bald head with people other than my family. I thought this would be the best place to share it! I never bought a wig...I only wore scarves. Today I bought a hot pink wig for some event at my daughter's school. It is so strange to see me with hair again. I am liking the pink! Maybe I should think about that being my new hair color......when I get hair!
Tawny,
You would be adorable!
I think you should do it.
As for me, I think initially I'll do my natural thing - though it's coming in salt and pepper. As somebody else wrote on the boards, salt and pepper is the new spice in her life! Perhaps we can see the return of hair as a sign that brain cells are rejuvenating, too! Have a great day, dear girl.
Beth0 -
Oh my gosh, I'm like Tawny,
Oh my gosh, I'm like Tawny, I'll call things totally different names. My husband and I just laugh.
I've been done with chemo only about a month (mar. 3)... I forget everything.
If I'm upstairs, I'll use my iPod touch to email myself something I thought to do (like pay electric) or I'll forget.
I was worse when I did A/C, when I was on Taxotere it wasn't as bad. I guess it's different for everyone.0 -
sometimes I cant remember ifChrispea said:Oh my gosh, I'm like Tawny,
Oh my gosh, I'm like Tawny, I'll call things totally different names. My husband and I just laugh.
I've been done with chemo only about a month (mar. 3)... I forget everything.
If I'm upstairs, I'll use my iPod touch to email myself something I thought to do (like pay electric) or I'll forget.
I was worse when I did A/C, when I was on Taxotere it wasn't as bad. I guess it's different for everyone.
sometimes I cant remember if I did something or just thought to do it. I watch jeopardy and wheel of fortune to tune my brain, and like chen make myself think. I Think it a combo. of chemopause, chemo, stress, and being tired. as my mom said 'at least you are alive" I am going to start taking B vitamins. for the peripheral neuropathy I think that helps the brain too.0 -
chemo braincarkris said:sometimes I cant remember if
sometimes I cant remember if I did something or just thought to do it. I watch jeopardy and wheel of fortune to tune my brain, and like chen make myself think. I Think it a combo. of chemopause, chemo, stress, and being tired. as my mom said 'at least you are alive" I am going to start taking B vitamins. for the peripheral neuropathy I think that helps the brain too.
Honestly, this was my most devastating symptom. U of M research says that as many as 20% of women are affected by chemo brain enough that it affects their daily living. I loved my work and have not been back yet. I"m 2.5 years cancer free. I got SSI disability, but I'd rather be working. It IS getting better. First I was told 6 months, then 1 year. My new neurologist tells me it can be as long as 2-5 years for a "sizeable minority" of women, esp. those with other cognitive wiring issues like ADD, Depression, seizures, etc. At first I would have periods that would last for several hours where I did not know where I was or how I got there. It was scary as hell. That lasted about 6 months. I did not drive much. I learned to pull over to the side of the road. Speed dial my friend and then just wait..sometimes for hours. I insisted on a MRI and neuro testing. I asked for cognitive therapy, but was told I wasn't "bad enough". I was told to consider moving in with my parents. Not an option. But I did not recognize numbers either. So, I couldn't do my check book. It was not funny at all.
It has gotten better. Last month...I was able to balance my check book. I had gone to the bank and told them what was happening. They were great and told me to come in every day if I needed to.
Now I'm back to lists..sort of like I was before chemo. But I still have a hard time sequencing. So, I've been cooking from recipes more...just to see if I can stay on task. So far, it's been edible. I've asked when I'll be able to go back to work, and I"m told, "you'll know when your're ready". Is seems like such an inadequate answer. I'm a nurse. Would you want to be the patient who I greet, after trying to transfer my crossword puzzle improvement over to cardiac care? I went to vocational rehab to see if I could get testing or other training, but they told me that I already had training....I am a nurse! hahah.
Reminded me of Abbott and Costello in Who's on First?.
I think it takes time. When I think I might not ever be able to go back to work, I'm not sure if I want to be here anymore. I loved what I did.
So, the new neurologist tells me more time. When I asked my OLD oncologist why she did not tell me this when I asked her if it crossed the blood brain barrier, she said, "What difference would it have made?". I thought informed consent was real. It was for me when I was a nurse. I had a double mastectomy in Feb 10, so I reduce my risk of this complication. I'm not doing this again. Im thrilled with the mastectomy. The difference the truth would have made, is that I would have considered other treatment options.
Laugh when you can, kick and scream if you need to, pray if you can and just keep going. It does get better. I don't know what the final outcome will be. But I've got time to find out.0 -
Thank you for your postblabrn1 said:chemo brain
Honestly, this was my most devastating symptom. U of M research says that as many as 20% of women are affected by chemo brain enough that it affects their daily living. I loved my work and have not been back yet. I"m 2.5 years cancer free. I got SSI disability, but I'd rather be working. It IS getting better. First I was told 6 months, then 1 year. My new neurologist tells me it can be as long as 2-5 years for a "sizeable minority" of women, esp. those with other cognitive wiring issues like ADD, Depression, seizures, etc. At first I would have periods that would last for several hours where I did not know where I was or how I got there. It was scary as hell. That lasted about 6 months. I did not drive much. I learned to pull over to the side of the road. Speed dial my friend and then just wait..sometimes for hours. I insisted on a MRI and neuro testing. I asked for cognitive therapy, but was told I wasn't "bad enough". I was told to consider moving in with my parents. Not an option. But I did not recognize numbers either. So, I couldn't do my check book. It was not funny at all.
It has gotten better. Last month...I was able to balance my check book. I had gone to the bank and told them what was happening. They were great and told me to come in every day if I needed to.
Now I'm back to lists..sort of like I was before chemo. But I still have a hard time sequencing. So, I've been cooking from recipes more...just to see if I can stay on task. So far, it's been edible. I've asked when I'll be able to go back to work, and I"m told, "you'll know when your're ready". Is seems like such an inadequate answer. I'm a nurse. Would you want to be the patient who I greet, after trying to transfer my crossword puzzle improvement over to cardiac care? I went to vocational rehab to see if I could get testing or other training, but they told me that I already had training....I am a nurse! hahah.
Reminded me of Abbott and Costello in Who's on First?.
I think it takes time. When I think I might not ever be able to go back to work, I'm not sure if I want to be here anymore. I loved what I did.
So, the new neurologist tells me more time. When I asked my OLD oncologist why she did not tell me this when I asked her if it crossed the blood brain barrier, she said, "What difference would it have made?". I thought informed consent was real. It was for me when I was a nurse. I had a double mastectomy in Feb 10, so I reduce my risk of this complication. I'm not doing this again. Im thrilled with the mastectomy. The difference the truth would have made, is that I would have considered other treatment options.
Laugh when you can, kick and scream if you need to, pray if you can and just keep going. It does get better. I don't know what the final outcome will be. But I've got time to find out.
Blabrn - after reading your heartfelt post, I want to thank you for your honesty and sharing. I'm a realtor and I deal with tons of paperwork. I have to concentrate so hard at work and I'm afraid I'm going to make some terrible mistake that is going to have legal ramifications. Unlike you who are dealing with life and death situations as a nurse, I'd only blow a real estate transaction if I'd mess up! I'm not having trouble with sequencing or processing numbers - but mostly am totally forgetful. Yesterday my daughter called my cell phone and left a message. I listened to it and by the time I returned home, I couldn't recall what the message was to share with my husband. I ended up thinking and thinking, going through just about every subject I could think of. Nothing brought it back. I finally confessed to her today that I hadn't an idea as to what she told me yesterday... Thankfully, everybody has been very kind with my forgetfulness and slowness. I just hope clear cognition comes back soon!
Beth0 -
chemo brain
My hubby now asks me what happened to the wife who could rattle off anyone's phone number address etc at the drop of a hat. I just decided I didn't really need to remember them if they were written down, did I?
Well, today the mail came, the IRS returned my check, not only did I forget to sign it, I forgot to write in an amount...can I blame chemo brain? or just not wanting to give up our hard earned money?? Anyway, all I can do is laugh about it and send the check again tomorrow...hopefully after I fill it all out this time...
Cat0
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