Havn't posted in awhile

aunti_m
aunti_m Member Posts: 41
edited March 2014 in Esophageal Cancer #1
Hi everyone, it's been awhile since I posted. I still follow the site just havn't felt like writing. The kids are amazing!!! They keep me smiling and are going on with life just as they should. The reality of him being gone has hit, I am now a single parent having to support and raise my family. Not much time to grieve, I don't know if that's good or bad. I do a lot of praying and that gives me strength. It was nice to have family around after he passed but now they've returned to they're lives (all in different cities and states) and it's all up to me. Returning to the workforce is going to be difficult, especially in this economy, especially while still grieving. Sorry for such a downer posting, I do still have hope. I will always have hope, God gave me this gift and I will use it well. I know we will be o.k. and I pray the sorrow and tears will get less and less.

When I see newbies posting it makes me want to keep fighting this terrible disease. My husband never gave up, neither will I!!!!!! All of us on this site have either had to find stength or stregth found you, I pray for all of you on CSN to stay strong and keep fighting.

Comments

  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #2
    Thanks for posting
    Hi AuntiM,
    You and I both lost our loved ones at the same time. I too, of course am still mourning and grieving. Remember....it has not been that long ago. Our children are wonderful. My daughter, Amanda, 10, is so positive. I tell her I miss "pop" everyday. She tells me, it's ok mom remember how sick he was, you knew this was coming, you know he is in a much better place now. Amazing! I feel like I am the child and she is the adult. Yes, we will both be ok. We know that my dad and your husband would want us to go on. We do have hope, we do have faith. Please keep posting. Keep us updated on what is going on in your world.
    Tina
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #3
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • mumphy
    mumphy Member Posts: 440
    #4
    Tina Blondek said:

    Thanks for posting
    Hi AuntiM,
    You and I both lost our loved ones at the same time. I too, of course am still mourning and grieving. Remember....it has not been that long ago. Our children are wonderful. My daughter, Amanda, 10, is so positive. I tell her I miss "pop" everyday. She tells me, it's ok mom remember how sick he was, you knew this was coming, you know he is in a much better place now. Amazing! I feel like I am the child and she is the adult. Yes, we will both be ok. We know that my dad and your husband would want us to go on. We do have hope, we do have faith. Please keep posting. Keep us updated on what is going on in your world.
    Tina

    Hi Ladies,
    I also have been reading posts and posting very little. It hadn't been that long since I lost Al, We have no children and I try to keep myself busy and still I have my moments that I feel overwhelmed.

    Grief is such a personal thing and there is no right way to do it. I do know that there is a reason why the Lord has chose us to endure this. I just don't know what it is. I am also sure that when the time comes I will know it.

    I pray for everyone on this site daily even the newbies that I have yet to be in contact with.

    I also Thank God that I found this site where I can come to and know that people understand what I have been through and what I will continue to go through.

    God Bless you,
    Kath
  • Donna70
    Donna70 Member Posts: 852 Member
    #5
    Auntie M
    Good to see you posting. I will keep you and yours in my prayers. You loved your husband and it is going to take time for the healing and the happy moments to come back, Like someone said, grieving is different for every person. I hope you give yourself some time before working but in this economy jobs are hard to find as it is. My prayers and good wishes are with you and with Kath too. It seems like we lost a lot of people very close together, Tina's dad included. I went to the memorial service for my friend Mary Ann that I wrote a tribute about. At the end, one of the speakers said that Mary Ann was on the other side, the one we are always afraid of, but she is happy and at peace, the lamp went out but only because dawn was breaking. Prayers always, take care,
    Donna70
  • K_ann1015
    K_ann1015 Member Posts: 500
    #6
    auntim
    so nice to hear from
    auntim
    so nice to hear from you! It's good that the kids are adjusting so well---if they didn't, it would be so much harder on you. It will be good to get back to work on one hand because too much time alone may make your grief last longer. We all will continue to keep you and your children in our prayers---you are a great mom to set a good spiritual example for your kids. SO when they have difficulties, they will know where to turn as well.

    You have been through so much, don't be too hard on yourself---you can vent here...there are others who really know what you are going through.
    Kim
  • MOE58
    MOE58 Member Posts: 589 Member
    #7
    Aunti M
    Please apply for Social Security you will get it on your children, and if I am not mistaken you will also receive some. I know this from past experience.

    We are never ready to loose someone but remember he is having no pain now and is looking down on you and the kids.

    God never promised us a ROSE GARDEN, and keep your faith and chin up we are all here for you

    Lori aka MOE
  • MAE66
    MAE66 Member Posts: 66
    #8
    I am in a very similar
    I am in a very similar situation. My husband of 16years passed away almost a month ago. We have three children (12yr twins and an eight yr old). The sadness is for everyon; me, the kids, but most of all for Paul. It is a lot to manage, and when you add kids into the picture, it can become overwhelming. We prepared the best we could, but still there is alot to do. I am also having a hard time with the widow/single parent part. I saw Lori posted about Social Security. If you have not applied, that may help. When I went in it was VERY easy. Please know that you are not alone in this.

    Susan
  • Betty in Vegas
    Betty in Vegas Member Posts: 290 Member
    #9
    MAE66 said:

    I am in a very similar
    I am in a very similar situation. My husband of 16years passed away almost a month ago. We have three children (12yr twins and an eight yr old). The sadness is for everyon; me, the kids, but most of all for Paul. It is a lot to manage, and when you add kids into the picture, it can become overwhelming. We prepared the best we could, but still there is alot to do. I am also having a hard time with the widow/single parent part. I saw Lori posted about Social Security. If you have not applied, that may help. When I went in it was VERY easy. Please know that you are not alone in this.

    Susan

    I am so sorry to Aunti M, Mae55 (Susan) and Kathy (Mumphy)
    Just have to say that my heart is just pouring out for all three of you. It is amazing the pain you can feel for people you have never gotten to hug in person...but I am so glad I know you and am honored to have walked this journey with you. I'm so glad you are all still here I would miss you so much,
    Betty

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