My Husband

vjireton58 Member Posts: 5 Member
edited March 2014 in Prostate Cancer #1
Iam writing for strength and wisdom, please help. My wonderful 53 year old husband was diagnosed February 11, 2010 he has robotic surgery schedule for Saturday morning April 10 with Dr.Albert Mikhail from Kaiser Fontana. The surgery will be in west Los Angeles. His PSA is 6.98 Gleason 7 (3+4) 12 biopsies 6 positive on the right side. I am scared of the surgery complications and the road ahead of us. We have been together since I was 13 and he was 15 and married for 33 year as of Sunday April 4th. I can not phantom my life without my husband he is my best friend. Please if there is anyone out there that has had this done at the same hospital with the smae Dr or with any Dr please help me. I dont even know what questions to ask I need guidance, my husban is in complete shock that is why Iam trying to help him. Just help me to help him.
Thank you
Teriffied in California


  • Trew
    Trew Member Posts: 932 Member
    I think the surgery is pretty safe- you should not be frightened by the surgery.

    There will be a final pathology report made from the removed prostate and you will get a better idea what you are dealing with then. But for now, I do believe your husband is safe.

    And it is a little terrifying for all of us.

    And a 3+4 is better than a 4+3. You can be encouraged by that.
  • lewvino
    lewvino Member Posts: 1,010
    Hi and glad you and your
    Hi and glad you and your Husband have found our forum. First set back and take a deep breath. Your husband will be with you for many more years! I am 55 and had my prostate surgery August 2009. Doing really good so far. I also had a Gleason 7 with 5 positive biopsies. The good news is they have found your husbands cancer and can get it taken care of. I assume you are having Davinci Surgery with the Robot. I had mine at Nashville Tn.

    With them taking the prostate out they can then examine the entire prostate and they might regrade the Gleason. Mine Started at 4+3 7 before surgery and then after surgery and pathology looked at the entire prostate they changed it to 3+4 7 which is a litte better.

    What to expect and ask? Ask if the Doctor does nerve sparing. I'm assuming they will if possible. There are two nerve bundles that control erections. Doc spared 100% on the one bundle and about 60% in the second bundle. With Levitra I'm still able to have intercourse with my wife. Hurrah! Urinary control veries greatly with men after the surgery. Your husband will have a catheter for 6-10 days. When they took my cath out on Day 10 I was what I consider 99.9% dry. have a few small drips but nothing that needs a pad. Again that verifies with each man but in time he should get back to normal. Have him practice Kegels. Its the same exercise women do before having babies to strengthen muscles down there. Have your husband practice before surgery in the bathroom while peeing. If he can stop and start his urine flow then he is doing the kegel right. Walk, walk, walk and drink lots of fluids after surgery. This helps him heal faster. If you haven't read any books yet you might want to get Dr. Patrick Walsh's guide to surviving prostate Cancer. It is a good read. Another good one is called Saving your sex life. You can get those both online from any of the booksellers.

    If you or your husband want to talk just let me know. My wife is a nurse and I am a survivor! Wishing you both great sucess. It is scary (I KNOW BEEN THERE and had the Fear) But soon it will be over and behind you.

    Oh yes, My dad had prostate cancer in 1997 and is still alive doing well!

    Larry in Tennessee
  • gator880
    gator880 Member Posts: 21
    Understand your search for strength and wisdom. My husband had radical prostatectomy on his 61st birthday in 2007, followed by radiation and hormone treatments. Gleason 9, 3b, positive margins. Surgery couldn't spare nerves, but it spared him! Catheter for 10 days was problematic. Upon its removal, his recovery picked up. Within 4 weeks he was back at work, and continues a normal schedule. Yep he's a workaholic!
    Hearing that cancer diagnosis is a shock, but focus your energy on being his advocate.
    Ask questions! You can glean a lot from this CSN, search out info and "experts." Take notes (I still keep a journal) of all the appointments, comments from medical staff, his progress, meds, tests and results, and anything else pertinent so you can absorb it when you are calm and focused. Hope you can change your signature from Terrified to just scared, but handling it a day at a time...You have support.
  • hopeful and optimistic
    hopeful and optimistic Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    How many surgeries did Dr.Milhail preform
    If its less than 250 or 300 cancel...........there is a steep learning curve in doing robotic surgeries.........there are experts in the field who have done 1,000's. only get one chance at it.

  • ballab11
    ballab11 Member Posts: 9
    Try to relax
    Hi vj,

    I am 54 and had my surgery here in NYC a week ago Monday. Had my catheter out yesterday and I'm going to work tomorrow. I sit behind a desk so it's OK, although I must get up and walk about every 1/2 hour. I too was concerned about the after effects of the surgery and I still am. Although I am reasonably dry, I do get drips and leakage now and again. No big deal. I wear my pads and I'm fine and I will eventually be dry as a bone. Sonner rather than later.

    When the cather is removed you should also be getting a pathology report from the doctor explaining the entire extent of the cancer, from the prostate to the lymph nodes although you should've already had a bone and CT scan done. If those were negative then you're off to a great start.

    As far as the doctor is concerned, 300-400 procedures is a good amount. My doctor, a leader in the field has literally done thousands. He does 2-4 a day, however who's to say you don't have a good surgeon. The whole point in using the Da Vinci is the nerve sparing, minimal invasion and faster recovery. Your husband should be doing his Kegels as much as possible now. It will make for a faster recovery. I strongly suggest you go to my doctor's website and read the "patient information" and "patient instructions." There's tons more info there as well as videos of the prodecure (if you can stand it).

    Good luck to you both

  • johndz
    johndz Member Posts: 33
    Husband need to read and be in this forum
    I went through same shock and panic like your husband, First week after biopsy was a doom day for me. I don't want to read and talk about this. My wife starts to do all the research, study about PC and call all the Kaiser hospital to know more about facility, doctor back ground check, scheduling, meet with 3 selected doctor on our list and other treatment option so we can make final decision. She with me to talk to all doctor to raise advance homework questions and take a notes Etc... - 2nd weeks after I get on this Cancer society forum and start feel much better like I just grasp a piece of floating wood in the ocean when I almost sink to the ocean!!From that point I start to be more active and do more research by myselt and know much better what to do before and after surgery and control my fear. I start to excercise more and sleep better to prepare for my big day. This forum will give your husband a lot of peace and mind! I bet Urology doctors will read all the feed back in this kind of forum to learn more about what happen to PC patient and cross check with what tehy have learn from Medical school. Thanks everyone in this forum and also thanks my wife and all our relatives for great supports.