My ever changing life

tat2granny
tat2granny Member Posts: 77
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Here I go again venting, but thanks to all of you here who let me! A lot has changed since I posted about my love dieing Monday. And I want to thank you all for your love and prayers. Every time I'd go back and read them it made me feel not so alone! LD's brother is over the estate, and since we had only been living together 11 months, he tells me I have to move. LD told me many, many times that if anything ever happened to him, I would have a good home to live in. The one thing he forgot to do is change his will. Oh yes, he told people over the phone and in person the same thing. But I have come to find out that if's not on paper, like the will. It doesn't mean squat!And now, less than a week since LD died,, I am on the move. These people don't give a person time enough to greave. I think they just wanted to get him in the ground so they can forget about him.They had is funeral 2 days after he died,, on the middle of the week. And most of his friends worked, so not a very good turn out. And not doing one thing that the man wanted done. It's like I ment squat to him. Hey I'm the one sleeping in the bed every night with him. Doing all the things a good woman does for a man. He and his family has never been close. I was really the only close family he had. But I get no say so in anything! They just want me out. Thank God I have a friend that has let me move in with him and tells me that he'll make sure I get to all my chemo and doctors app. So I just wanted to give my little input to all the ladies who are not married and living with their man. GET IT ON PAPER, WHO IS TO HAVE WHAT,, or you will be in the same hole I am in. And once again thanks so much to you all for all the great work and advice.

Comments

  • aztec45
    aztec45 Member Posts: 757
    #2
    I Am So Sorry
    I am so sorry you are having to go through this AND cancer too. I found that our when my mom got sick last year. If you don't have it in writing; it ain't so. I think that is incredibly harsh and insensitive to kick you out. I am glad you have a friend you can count on. And you have many friends here.

    Take care.

    P
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #3
    What a sad state of affairs
    What a sad state of affairs you are in. I'm never shocked anymore to see the heartless antics of greedy uncaring people. I'm just so sorry that it is happening to you. Unfortunately, this happens all to often in families. Thank goodness you have friends that can help you out. We'll be here for you as your caring cyber friends, so please let us know how you are doing and progressing with your treatments. Sending strength and ((((hugs)))) your way! Take care.
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #4
    MyTurnNow said:

    What a sad state of affairs
    What a sad state of affairs you are in. I'm never shocked anymore to see the heartless antics of greedy uncaring people. I'm just so sorry that it is happening to you. Unfortunately, this happens all to often in families. Thank goodness you have friends that can help you out. We'll be here for you as your caring cyber friends, so please let us know how you are doing and progressing with your treatments. Sending strength and ((((hugs)))) your way! Take care.

    I am so sorry. This is just
    I am so sorry. This is just horrible. Sending you prayers and hugs!


    Leeza
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #5
    aztec45 said:

    I Am So Sorry
    I am so sorry you are having to go through this AND cancer too. I found that our when my mom got sick last year. If you don't have it in writing; it ain't so. I think that is incredibly harsh and insensitive to kick you out. I am glad you have a friend you can count on. And you have many friends here.

    Take care.

    P

    I am sorry about all of
    I am sorry about all of this. Thank goodness you have a friend to help you out. What happened to you is unbelievable. Sending you prayers and support!
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #6
    aztec45 said:

    I Am So Sorry
    I am so sorry you are having to go through this AND cancer too. I found that our when my mom got sick last year. If you don't have it in writing; it ain't so. I think that is incredibly harsh and insensitive to kick you out. I am glad you have a friend you can count on. And you have many friends here.

    Take care.

    P

    You poor thing. I feel so
    You poor thing. I feel so very sorry for you. As if you haven't been thru enough.

    It does seem a lot, that when it comes to death, people just become greedy and forget they are human. Praying that all works out for you.
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #7
    jnl said:

    I am so sorry. This is just
    I am so sorry. This is just horrible. Sending you prayers and hugs!


    Leeza

    I am shocked as the others
    I am shocked as the others are and you at how you were treated. I am so sorry for your loss and then to have to leave your home. I pray that you will find strength! Take care of yourself!

    Hugs, Debby
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #8
    Better yet, get your name on
    Better yet, get your name on the deed or title, if the item has one. Life insurance has a beneficiary.

    So sorry you have to deal with this also.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #9
    After 17 years, I got it in writing.....
    I made up an addendum to his will, and had him make it legal.

    I have no visions of being treated well after he dies...lol...there is an ex that is just WAITING to get her hands on her children's inheiritance...no laughing matter...

    When my ex died, I was still on his will...and I became the beneficiary....no new wife, so it was not contested. Wierd that way...we were divorced for over 18 years. Social Security still made me his widow...

    I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way. The good of it is that others will learn from your troubles...

    BIG hugs, Kathi
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691 Member
    #10
    That is just awful!! I am

    That is just awful!! I am sorry that you have to go through this. It is enough when you don't have cancer treatment to deal with. I just can't imagine what it must be like to be kicked out of your home during a time like this after your beloved has just died.

    It is good to hear that you have friend with whom you can stay and will help you get to your appointments. Right now, that is probably most important, getting well and healing from the cancer and the emotional trauma of what has just happened.

    Please take care, you are in our thoughts and prayers.
  • Flakey_Flake
    Flakey_Flake Member Posts: 130
    #11
    Please Take care of Yourself
    Oh Tat2, how awful can people get?! With all you have on your plate, and then they come along and tip over the whole table! That old sin "Greed" can sure set in when someone passes and there is something there to be taken. I swear, I have seen so many families torn apart over things like this. You know, if my brother passed away suddenly, as your mate did, I would want to take the woman who made his life happy and hold her and share the loss. Like sharing a heavy load, it is easier to carry. LD's brother clearly values things over people. People like that are never really happy because they will never stop thinking about getting more things. At least you can hold your head high, and know that you did right. I have a belief that gets me through times when I feel wronged. I believe that God will settle things in His own time and own way. I may never see it, but I always believe it. That belief has saved me from alot of hatred and revenge, things that make any situation worse. Your first job right now is yourself, and you battle with the beast-cancer. I am glad you have a friend who will step in and help you. He must be a true friend. And you have many caring and loving pink sisters here. I hope you will find happier days ahead.

    As for me and my mate, we don't live together. I won't live with anyone without getting married. I've done it before but even then, I kept my own house, and rented it out. My boyfriend understands this and believes it is best that way. Actually, I rather like our arrangement as it is. I love the man dearly, and can't imagine anyone more perfect for me. But I would not be content living in his house, and he wouldn't be content living in mine. We both need our space, and can respect that in each other. But he is my bestest friend, and we can spend hours together that seem to pass like minutes. We are both content, so why fix what is already working?

    Please take care of your self, you have been through way too much already. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Sharon
  • Sunrae
    Sunrae Member Posts: 808
    #12
    Flakey_Flake said:

    Please Take care of Yourself
    Oh Tat2, how awful can people get?! With all you have on your plate, and then they come along and tip over the whole table! That old sin "Greed" can sure set in when someone passes and there is something there to be taken. I swear, I have seen so many families torn apart over things like this. You know, if my brother passed away suddenly, as your mate did, I would want to take the woman who made his life happy and hold her and share the loss. Like sharing a heavy load, it is easier to carry. LD's brother clearly values things over people. People like that are never really happy because they will never stop thinking about getting more things. At least you can hold your head high, and know that you did right. I have a belief that gets me through times when I feel wronged. I believe that God will settle things in His own time and own way. I may never see it, but I always believe it. That belief has saved me from alot of hatred and revenge, things that make any situation worse. Your first job right now is yourself, and you battle with the beast-cancer. I am glad you have a friend who will step in and help you. He must be a true friend. And you have many caring and loving pink sisters here. I hope you will find happier days ahead.

    As for me and my mate, we don't live together. I won't live with anyone without getting married. I've done it before but even then, I kept my own house, and rented it out. My boyfriend understands this and believes it is best that way. Actually, I rather like our arrangement as it is. I love the man dearly, and can't imagine anyone more perfect for me. But I would not be content living in his house, and he wouldn't be content living in mine. We both need our space, and can respect that in each other. But he is my bestest friend, and we can spend hours together that seem to pass like minutes. We are both content, so why fix what is already working?

    Please take care of your self, you have been through way too much already. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Sharon

    Tat, I'm so sorry about
    Tat, I'm so sorry about what's happening in your life right now. You surely don't need any more frustration added to your battle with bc. Hope you can hang on, do what needs to be done today and take care of yourself. Too bad when evil raises its ugly head at times like this when you still in shock and grieving your loss. Glad you've got a place to stay and someone to help you. Just remember we're here for you at all times. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #13
    Sunrae said:

    Tat, I'm so sorry about
    Tat, I'm so sorry about what's happening in your life right now. You surely don't need any more frustration added to your battle with bc. Hope you can hang on, do what needs to be done today and take care of yourself. Too bad when evil raises its ugly head at times like this when you still in shock and grieving your loss. Glad you've got a place to stay and someone to help you. Just remember we're here for you at all times. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

    So sorry Tat
    Tat, I am also deeply sorry and deeply troubled over what you are going thru. I hate to think that people are this insensitive and just plain mean. You take care of yourself, that is your number one priority right now. You have a good friend to stay with and I hope that works out for you, at least temporarily. Take care of yourself.


    Lex♥
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #14
    KathiM said:

    After 17 years, I got it in writing.....
    I made up an addendum to his will, and had him make it legal.

    I have no visions of being treated well after he dies...lol...there is an ex that is just WAITING to get her hands on her children's inheiritance...no laughing matter...

    When my ex died, I was still on his will...and I became the beneficiary....no new wife, so it was not contested. Wierd that way...we were divorced for over 18 years. Social Security still made me his widow...

    I'm sorry you had to find out the hard way. The good of it is that others will learn from your troubles...

    BIG hugs, Kathi

    Praying that you find some
    Praying that you find some peace in all of this. We are here to always support you!


    Hugs, Leeza
  • tat2granny
    tat2granny Member Posts: 77
    #15
    Alexis F said:

    So sorry Tat
    Tat, I am also deeply sorry and deeply troubled over what you are going thru. I hate to think that people are this insensitive and just plain mean. You take care of yourself, that is your number one priority right now. You have a good friend to stay with and I hope that works out for you, at least temporarily. Take care of yourself.


    Lex♥

    Thanks everyone
    Just wanted to thank everyone here that has given me their support and comfort. You ladies have given me some good advise and shared tears with me the last couple of weeks. I want to let you know that I am back to my fight with "the Beast". The last few weeks have shone me that you never know what is in your future. God has plans for me, I know that. And I am going to win this battle. So again thank you for all your help, and if I can help anyone just let me know!! hugs and kisses to all
  • shortscake
    shortscake Member Posts: 228
    #16
    sorry
    I am so sorry for what you having to deal with at this time, as a person with so much going on right now i know it seems that it wont get any better take it from me it will get better before you know it. its sad that his brother is being that way he is being an as_ right now and give him time hopefully he will come around soon its nice that you had a friend to be there for you at your time of need. one thing for sure your man is still with you every step of the way and he will always be there..good luck in your battle and stay strong girl power
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #17
    tat2granny said:

    Thanks everyone
    Just wanted to thank everyone here that has given me their support and comfort. You ladies have given me some good advise and shared tears with me the last couple of weeks. I want to let you know that I am back to my fight with "the Beast". The last few weeks have shone me that you never know what is in your future. God has plans for me, I know that. And I am going to win this battle. So again thank you for all your help, and if I can help anyone just let me know!! hugs and kisses to all

    You will win the battle!
    You will win the battle! Don't ever doubt that! And, we are always here to support and encourage you. Keep us updated on you.

    Hugs, Debby
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #18
    shortscake said:

    sorry
    I am so sorry for what you having to deal with at this time, as a person with so much going on right now i know it seems that it wont get any better take it from me it will get better before you know it. its sad that his brother is being that way he is being an as_ right now and give him time hopefully he will come around soon its nice that you had a friend to be there for you at your time of need. one thing for sure your man is still with you every step of the way and he will always be there..good luck in your battle and stay strong girl power

    Тат
    Sorry that you have going through horrible situation. Please keep fighting and take care of yourself. Stay in touch.
    Hugs,
    New Flower
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #19
    New Flower said:

    Тат
    Sorry that you have going through horrible situation. Please keep fighting and take care of yourself. Stay in touch.
    Hugs,
    New Flower

    Like New Flower wrote, keep
    Like New Flower wrote, keep fighting the beast and take good care of yourself.

Discussion Boards