Longest year of my life.

JR
JR Member Posts: 139 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I mean that in a good way. I just finished my first year of chemo and as much as chemo blows, it's good to be alive. I am laying here in bed, late on Saturday night, thinking about all the crap that we all go through just to see another day. I know that many of you have been on chemo alot longer than I have and have dealt with many more issues than I have. But, lets face it, if it wasn't worth it we wouldn't do it. I for one appreciate every day more now than I did before cancer took up residence in my colon, liver, lungs, and where ever else it may be hiding in my body.

I just want you all to know that I appreciate you all very much and I appreciate this board. So, tomorrow's another day, live it to the fullest. I'm not a big country music fan but I have to agree with Tim McGraw. Live every day like it's your last. So screw cancer, I'll talk to you all later.

John

Comments

  • mark440
    mark440 Member Posts: 63
    #2
    John
    Im with you!!! SCREW CANCER!!! Im not much on country either but Garth Brooks " the dance"" OUR LIVES ARE BETTER LEFT TO CHANCE, I COULD HAVE MISSED THE PAIN BUT ID OF HAD TO MISS THE DANCE"
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    #3
    mark440 said:

    John
    Im with you!!! SCREW CANCER!!! Im not much on country either but Garth Brooks " the dance"" OUR LIVES ARE BETTER LEFT TO CHANCE, I COULD HAVE MISSED THE PAIN BUT ID OF HAD TO MISS THE DANCE"

    Longest day was first chemo session......
    I don';t think there is a strong enough word to properly express what we feel about cancer--------Perhaps the best way to state your opinion is by defeating it, by doing everything you can to not let it live your life for you(which I could not say or even think of months ago!!!!!)Aint nothing special or heroic about me meaning if I can get thru this nightmare so can you(or maybe thats easy for me to say cos I was only stage 3-had i continued to delay seeing a doctor while cultivating my (then unknown- thought it was hemmorhoid)tumor........but hopefully it WAS caught in time......
    I can't help but think of John Lennon's lyric:"LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHILE YOU'RE BUSY MAKING PLANS." Who ever plans for cancer to enter their lives?......

    PS:Let me edit this since I've read it posted-Longest day was when told I had cancer......
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824 Member
    #4
    JR
    Thank you! I've felt like crap mentally and physically for a couple of days and your post gave me a gentle kick in the butt.I feel so ashamed when I feel bad like this because so many others are much sicker than I and are dealing with it so gracefully.

    Best wishes.
    -Pat
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #5
    Jaylo969 said:

    JR
    Thank you! I've felt like crap mentally and physically for a couple of days and your post gave me a gentle kick in the butt.I feel so ashamed when I feel bad like this because so many others are much sicker than I and are dealing with it so gracefully.

    Best wishes.
    -Pat

    Well said Jr.
    Man, it seems like everytime I turn around there is something else new in my life. People actually lending others a hand, solace, comfort. It seems that since diagnosis my life has changed so drastically. My marriage was in shambles, my life was going no where job sucked . Now, it seems as though everything is alligning so that I really see what life is really suppose to be like and be lived like. I do think about the possibility of re occurence and what it means to my family and I and I do try to stay positive about it. It seems as if every day a new beginning starts as if I start over each day with a new direction in life. Yeah, I know, Im rambling, but I feel like I have been partly punished and partly spared things in my life and its all now coming into perspective for me. Yep, Jr, life is great for me, I know that someday it will end but I now know that it will be ok when that happens too. Im no exception to mortality, and I am going to enjoy all the time I have left here on earth as best as possible......Thanks for the wake up call bud.......Love and Hope for us all, Buzz
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    #6
    Jaylo969 said:

    JR
    Thank you! I've felt like crap mentally and physically for a couple of days and your post gave me a gentle kick in the butt.I feel so ashamed when I feel bad like this because so many others are much sicker than I and are dealing with it so gracefully.

    Best wishes.
    -Pat

    Pat...
    I feel the same way! My teary days and I feel like such a crybaby. I'm definitely not as sick as some here. They don't complain, but I do. Dangit... I hate that I'm such a complainer.

    JR... You're still an inspiration to me. You've handled things so well. It's amazing how much the people on this board mean to me. I've not met you or anyone else here, but I'm still amazed at how close I feel to everyone.

    Best Wishes to everyone here...
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #7
    Hi JR,
    This is great
    Hi JR,

    This is great perspective! Living each day to the fullest is a great message; + that includes chemo days - for me sometimes that means I need to accept that I am going to feel crummy for a few days + look forward to the easier days.
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    #8
    Stretch it out!
    Hey John,

    Thanks for the inspiration.

    I've enjoyed as much of life as is humanly possible since being diagnosed in 2004. Stretch out those days, commit to your highest possibility, do what is "life-giving"!

    Here it is already... yet another new day to live!

    Be well... Rob; in Vancouver
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    #9
    JR
    I just finished a book recommended by Jennifer Weir. She was right, it's great. It uses auto racing analogies to life and several times says, "The car goes where the eyes go." We tend to accept the fate that those around us accept for us. Then there are those of us on this board.

    JR, I know you don't just accept what other 'pronounce' as your prognosis. And you do it all with honor and dignity. Thank you for all you add to this board and the lives that you touch.

    Kimby
    Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #10
    John
    "I live every day like it's the last day of my life. Every morning I wake up real early, and I spend maybe three hours on the phone making funeral arrangements."
    ~ Kevin Nealon
    What a GREAT post you wrote. I think the words "cancer blows" is not used nearly enough at all. You've got a winner's attitude my friend. It's refreshing to read your post, I feel I do not see enough like yours.
    Live life like you mean it!
    -phil
  • Crow71
    Crow71 Member Posts: 679 Member
    #11
    Right on John - SCREW
    Right on John - SCREW CANCER. It may kill me in the end, but it can't take away how happy I was today to walk into church with my daughter for the first time in months. And it can't take away the infinite possibilities for happiness that are in front of me tomorrow. Thanks for your inspiring post.
    Roger

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