Does anyone else just get teary for no reason....

HollyID
HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Today is a I HATE CANCER day....

I'm talking to my onc before chemo. Really, I'm truly feeling great. My neuropathy hasn't even bothered me for about the last week.

Just one of those days that even the word cancer can make me tear up. Maybe just tired from working last night and having to get up early this morning for chemo. I don't know.

Last night I was talking to a co-worker friend whose dad died from cancer. She isn't afraid to talk to me or she doesn't avoid me because she doesn't know what to say. I mean, really, we're all in the I HATE CANCER club, or maybe I think we all are.

Not really down today, either. Just a I hate cancer day and I'm so ready to be done with chemo and everything else. I'm not even half way done. Today is treatment #5. My pseudo psychiatrist in me tells me that maybe I just have to go through a couple of days of feeling like crap and I don't wanna do it. It's crappy to feel so good and have to go in for chemo, ya know, just so I can be sick for 3 days? Of course you know. LOL

I think I'm more tired than anything.
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Comments

  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #2
    Holly
    Sometimes you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know I get sick and tired of George being sick and tired and I am the caregiver. Go have yourself a good cry, get it out, heck, go have a screaming freak out. Sometimes you just have to get it out. I won't do it in front of George, don't want him feeling bad for getting sick, but sometimes on the car ride home from work I do find myself crying, it is just sadness, and it will pass. Take care - Tina
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824 Member
    #3
    Anyone else get teary....
    Yes, I do but not as often as I did a few months ago. Like you, when I was on infusions I got to where I dreaded it and my mood would slowly get darker. But good news....it always went away after a day or so.I hope that will be the case for you too, but if not please tell your doctor. Stress, depression, fatigue all can slow down the healing process.

    Hoping you are feeling a little better now.It won't be long. Just think, next treatment you can celebrate the half-way mark....maybe do one of those crazy dances all the folks on here keep talking about.Sending soothing thoughts your way.

    -Pat
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    #4
    crying
    Well, yeah! I have days that I just can't help but cry at everything. Most days I laugh at everything. You know, the laughing seems to make people (not family or close friends) more uncomfortable than the crying.

    Sometimes I just get teary easily. Other days I need a really good cry. If I'm not alone, I take a long, hot shower and cry there. I have fewer of those days now, but I still have them. The "I hate cancer" days, the "am I going to survive this" days....well, you know.

    I hope you cry it all out and feel better. Then go get a great, wonderful laugh. Good movie, good book, good friends. Whatever works for you.

    Kimby
    Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    #5
    crying
    Well, yeah! I have days that I just can't help but cry at everything. Most days I laugh at everything. You know, the laughing seems to make people (not family or close friends) more uncomfortable than the crying.

    Sometimes I just get teary easily. Other days I need a really good cry. If I'm not alone, I take a long, hot shower and cry there. I have fewer of those days now, but I still have them. The "I hate cancer" days, the "am I going to survive this" days....well, you know.

    I hope you cry it all out and feel better. Then go get a great, wonderful laugh. Good movie, good book, good friends. Whatever works for you.

    Kimby
    Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.
  • Kerry S
    Kerry S Member Posts: 606 Member
    #6
    Before retirement
    Before retirement back in 93, I was the director of a customer service call center for a major credit card company for 8 years. I had 200 females, average age 22, that worked for me. The experience was priceless.

    I would say this is a woman thing. You will be fine – this to shall pass.
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #7
    Kerry S said:

    Before retirement
    Before retirement back in 93, I was the director of a customer service call center for a major credit card company for 8 years. I had 200 females, average age 22, that worked for me. The experience was priceless.

    I would say this is a woman thing. You will be fine – this to shall pass.

    #5
    Holly getting around treatment # 5 and 6 is hard.....you start to wear down...all that initial fear and rush is over and then it just seems likes more and more chemo looming.

    You probably are really tired and really emotional....but I definitely remember a hump around number 6.

    one step after the other girl and if you want a nice big cry just do that too

    hugs
    mags
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #8
    crying
    I always cry when I'm tired and I was always tired on chemo. In fact, the addition of Sandostatin shots once a month helped TREMENDOUSLY with that! It helped with the diarrhea, which in turn helped with the tiredness, and hence cut back on the crying. I think the day I had to go in for a second day infusion because of issues with infusion on day 1, where I was crying like a baby and the doc decided to infuse me in the room he was seeing me in instead of sending me to the infusion room was the turn around! I am usually really tough and he knew something needed to be done when I was that worked up! The only other time I broke down like that in the office was my latest recurrence back in November. It really does just wear on you sometimes. I finally have gotten to a place where I just embrace the times when I am teary and don't let it get to me so much. We all have REASON to get down sometimes! Just so we remember to then pick ourselves back up and enjoy the good times! Tomorrow will be a better day!
    mary
  • mark440
    mark440 Member Posts: 63
    #9
    YEP!
    I just cried a minute ago as I just made a mess in my pants sitting at the computer!! CANCER SUCKS!!!
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    #10
    Lots to cry about!
    Cancer certainly sucks!

    I find that I am easily moved to tears. Often in response to beauty, the pain or suffering of others, or something very happy. It's a rare movie that doesn't elicit some misting!

    I'm easily moved to joy and laughter too. Maybe we just become more authentic with our feelings.

    Be well... Rob; in Vancouver

    “But it’s hard to explain, Mitch.
    Now that I am suffering, I feel closer to others
    who are suffering than I ever did before.”
    Morrie Schwartz
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #11
    Not a crier....
    I think I was lobotomized as a child by my mother. EEK. I seldom cry. I cried one time a week after my brother was murdered and I cried a few tears when the gastro told me about the tumor but that's it for the last umpteen dozen years.
  • RickMurtagh
    RickMurtagh Member Posts: 587 Member
    #12
    crying
    They dropped my pizza the other day just as they were bringing it to the table - that made me cry. Cancer makes me mad rather than sad. I am with you Holly - I HATE CANCER!
  • ann2008
    ann2008 Member Posts: 118
    #13
    Holly
    I do remember really dreading the next treatment because I did feel so good the few days before, I could eat anything and drink cold drinks again and the neuropathy was gone. That was when I would just have a good cry and then get up and go for my next treatment. It gets better but now I think I am menopausal and at it again. Ann
  • thready
    thready Member Posts: 474
    #14
    Hang in there Holly
    it is o.k. to cry, you probably are very tired and when I did treatment 5 it was a bad day! I cried all through treatment, even Ativan did not help. This stuff really wears a person out. I can say after a day of crying I did feel like I could move on and get this all behind me.

    Holly hang in there you will make it! My Aunt sends me pictures of stick people with there biceps flexed, they are really fun, but when I am down I just look at her pictures and realize that I am strong enough to get through all this.

    Be strong Holly
    Jan
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #15
    Holly
    I've found that since my diagnosis I am more emotional than I was before cancer.
    I'm not a fan of cancer either.
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    #16
    dianetavegia said:

    Not a crier....
    I think I was lobotomized as a child by my mother. EEK. I seldom cry. I cried one time a week after my brother was murdered and I cried a few tears when the gastro told me about the tumor but that's it for the last umpteen dozen years.

    You're a tough woman Diane.
    You're a tough woman Diane.

    I didn't even cry when the surgeon told me I had cancer. All I wanted to know were the steps to eradicate the little bugger.

    I don't cry very often myself. This was a new one to just break down like that for me. But then again, only a couple hours of sleep in a 29 hour day was rough for me.
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    #17
    ann2008 said:

    Holly
    I do remember really dreading the next treatment because I did feel so good the few days before, I could eat anything and drink cold drinks again and the neuropathy was gone. That was when I would just have a good cry and then get up and go for my next treatment. It gets better but now I think I am menopausal and at it again. Ann

    Ann, this was my thoughts
    Ann, this was my thoughts yesterday. I've been able to drink cold drinks again, have a little ice cream if I wanted. I hadn't had neuropathy tingles for days. I mean like 10 days. I'm sure the warmer weather here has helped with that.

    I felt so good yesterday... then the thoughts of having chemo again and feeling crappy again was just too much for my nimble brain to handle. :)
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    #18
    thready said:

    Hang in there Holly
    it is o.k. to cry, you probably are very tired and when I did treatment 5 it was a bad day! I cried all through treatment, even Ativan did not help. This stuff really wears a person out. I can say after a day of crying I did feel like I could move on and get this all behind me.

    Holly hang in there you will make it! My Aunt sends me pictures of stick people with there biceps flexed, they are really fun, but when I am down I just look at her pictures and realize that I am strong enough to get through all this.

    Be strong Holly
    Jan

    I love my chemo nurses. I
    I love my chemo nurses. I was all done crying, went to the infusion room, and one of my chemo nurses I've knows for 15 years asked me if I was OK. Well, that just brought the tears on again. She asked if I got bad news, which of course I didn't... I'm tolerating this chemo like a champ. Nothing was out of normal on my labs. I just started crying again. I told her I'm so sure I'm tired. I know my eyes were red because I could feel my contacts screaming for NS. They get like that when they're dry and tired, which I was.

    I know I'll make it. Really, I'm good. Actually, I'm great. It's amazing how a nice night of sleep helps.
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    #19
    PhillieG said:

    Holly
    I've found that since my diagnosis I am more emotional than I was before cancer.
    I'm not a fan of cancer either.

    Thanks everyone. I'm so
    Thanks everyone. I'm so glad I'm not the only one that does this.

    I'm sure my doc sees his patients in tears all the time. Me, I hardly ever cry, so this was a new sensation for me. I usually only cry over children and animals. *shrug*

    I knew I could vent and be OK the next morning.

    LOVE YOU ALL!!

    Holly
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    #20
    PhillieG said:

    Holly
    I've found that since my diagnosis I am more emotional than I was before cancer.
    I'm not a fan of cancer either.

    Same here Phil
    I find myself starting to cry watching TV if someone does a kind deed for someone else, if someone expresses love (not sexual), (stupid things that when I was a kid I would laugh at my mother for crying over Dr Kildare and those other early soaps.) When I was more or less confined to indoors and was watching alot of CSI and Law&Order shows, when crime victim was helped, I would start to cry. I'll do it in public too and won;t care if people stare at me as I walk, in thought, crying, esp if thinking about my doctors who are keeping me alive.....Having gone thru what we have does something inside emotionally as well as physically.......Hope everyone gets to go out to enjoy the warming weather.....steve
  • msccolon
    msccolon Member Posts: 1,917 Member
    #21
    all this talk about crying makes me want to cry ;)
    You know, so many people have said that they hardly ever cried before cancer, but now are much more emotional. That reminds me of the day I returned home after my initial resection and had a bad reaction to the oxycodone. There my mother and I were crying and she was another lady who rarely cried, but I have a sister who was the "family cryer". Mother made a comment about how maybe Sue (my sister) had it right all along and we should allow ourselves to cry more often. Makes me wonder if the years of holding in the emotions just added to the whole cancer scene.
    mary

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