Honoring all of the great men in our lives
Beth
Comments
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That is So Touching!
Beth,
Your man really loves you. Each night to hear the words that he loves your fuzzy head while he rubs it...now that is romantic!!!! How long have you been married?
As for my man, he doesn't say it in words. He says it by deeds and cards. Three weeks prior to my bilateral mastectomy we took a 4 day holiday. (I referred to it as the girls' last fling.) On that trip, we went into an artist co-op. My husband saw an amber and silver pendant with an amber and silver chain..thus a necklace (it could be sold separately or as one piece) - stunning - and asked me if I liked. I said, "Yes." He said instead of giving me flowers when I have the mastectomy that he wanted this piece of jewelry to be my flowers. I get many compliments on this necklace when I wear it. I even wrote the artist telling him how much I loved his work of art.
He does not complain when he drives me to my doctors and hospital which is considerably further away from my house and the hospital in my suburb (Downtown Chicago drive could take 25 minutes to over 1 hour whereas the hospital in my town would have a drive time of 10 minutes). We live in a suburb of Chicago so driving into the city can sometimes be a nightmare as far as traffic. MUM is his word.
For being a hot tempered Italian man, he never says a word when I cook for my doctors. I adopted my plastic surgeon, so he gets shopping bags of food. Kenny never says a word. So I guess you would say that he is very tolerant of what I do.
Since I had the recurrence, he is even sweeter. We are married 47 years not counting the 5 years we dated. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met on Friday, September 13. You can tell that we are not superstitious.
Lots of Hugs,
Janelle0 -
That is So Touching!
Beth,
Your man really loves you. Each night to hear the words that he loves your fuzzy head while he rubs it...now that is romantic!!!! How long have you been married?
As for my man, he doesn't say it in words. He says it by deeds and cards. Three weeks prior to my bilateral mastectomy we took a 4 day holiday. (I referred to it as the girls' last fling.) On that trip, we went into an artist co-op. My husband saw an amber and silver pendant with an amber and silver chain..thus a necklace (it could be sold separately or as one piece) - stunning - and asked me if I liked. I said, "Yes." He said instead of giving me flowers when I have the mastectomy that he wanted this piece of jewelry to be my flowers. I get many compliments on this necklace when I wear it. I even wrote the artist telling him how much I loved his work of art.
He does not complain when he drives me to my doctors and hospital which is considerably further away from my house and the hospital in my suburb (Downtown Chicago drive could take 25 minutes to over 1 hour whereas the hospital in my town would have a drive time of 10 minutes). We live in a suburb of Chicago so driving into the city can sometimes be a nightmare as far as traffic. MUM is his word.
For being a hot tempered Italian man, he never says a word when I cook for my doctors. I adopted my plastic surgeon, so he gets shopping bags of food. Kenny never says a word. So I guess you would say that he is very tolerant of what I do.
Since I had the recurrence, he is even sweeter. We are married 47 years not counting the 5 years we dated. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met on Friday, September 13. You can tell that we are not superstitious.
Lots of Hugs,
Janelle0 -
My First Double PostDifferent Ballgame said:That is So Touching!
Beth,
Your man really loves you. Each night to hear the words that he loves your fuzzy head while he rubs it...now that is romantic!!!! How long have you been married?
As for my man, he doesn't say it in words. He says it by deeds and cards. Three weeks prior to my bilateral mastectomy we took a 4 day holiday. (I referred to it as the girls' last fling.) On that trip, we went into an artist co-op. My husband saw an amber and silver pendant with an amber and silver chain..thus a necklace (it could be sold separately or as one piece) - stunning - and asked me if I liked. I said, "Yes." He said instead of giving me flowers when I have the mastectomy that he wanted this piece of jewelry to be my flowers. I get many compliments on this necklace when I wear it. I even wrote the artist telling him how much I loved his work of art.
He does not complain when he drives me to my doctors and hospital which is considerably further away from my house and the hospital in my suburb (Downtown Chicago drive could take 25 minutes to over 1 hour whereas the hospital in my town would have a drive time of 10 minutes). We live in a suburb of Chicago so driving into the city can sometimes be a nightmare as far as traffic. MUM is his word.
For being a hot tempered Italian man, he never says a word when I cook for my doctors. I adopted my plastic surgeon, so he gets shopping bags of food. Kenny never says a word. So I guess you would say that he is very tolerant of what I do.
Since I had the recurrence, he is even sweeter. We are married 47 years not counting the 5 years we dated. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met on Friday, September 13. You can tell that we are not superstitious.
Lots of Hugs,
Janelle
How about that! My first double post.0 -
TouchingDifferent Ballgame said:That is So Touching!
Beth,
Your man really loves you. Each night to hear the words that he loves your fuzzy head while he rubs it...now that is romantic!!!! How long have you been married?
As for my man, he doesn't say it in words. He says it by deeds and cards. Three weeks prior to my bilateral mastectomy we took a 4 day holiday. (I referred to it as the girls' last fling.) On that trip, we went into an artist co-op. My husband saw an amber and silver pendant with an amber and silver chain..thus a necklace (it could be sold separately or as one piece) - stunning - and asked me if I liked. I said, "Yes." He said instead of giving me flowers when I have the mastectomy that he wanted this piece of jewelry to be my flowers. I get many compliments on this necklace when I wear it. I even wrote the artist telling him how much I loved his work of art.
He does not complain when he drives me to my doctors and hospital which is considerably further away from my house and the hospital in my suburb (Downtown Chicago drive could take 25 minutes to over 1 hour whereas the hospital in my town would have a drive time of 10 minutes). We live in a suburb of Chicago so driving into the city can sometimes be a nightmare as far as traffic. MUM is his word.
For being a hot tempered Italian man, he never says a word when I cook for my doctors. I adopted my plastic surgeon, so he gets shopping bags of food. Kenny never says a word. So I guess you would say that he is very tolerant of what I do.
Since I had the recurrence, he is even sweeter. We are married 47 years not counting the 5 years we dated. I was 16 and he was 18 when we met on Friday, September 13. You can tell that we are not superstitious.
Lots of Hugs,
Janelle
Janelle,
Your husband sounds wonderful, too. We've been married 34 great years. We have grown so much closer through this experience - and we trust that God is working this all out so that we can be used by Him in others' lives as they struggle with this disease.
Thanks so much for your sharing!
Blessings!
Beth0 -
I am truely grateful for myDifferent Ballgame said:My First Double Post
How about that! My first double post.
I am truely grateful for my husband. he doesnt always get it, but he has been very faithful, and encouraging. never makes me feel bad about the body changes. He has been my rock. goes with me to every appointment every chemo every surgery. never complains. My daughters the same, never a word or complaint. they ate 16 and 19. I was s ad the other day and my 19 year old told me what an inspiration i have been. I never look at m yself that way. I would not get through this without the love of my family.0 -
A blessing from God
My husband is my special gift from God. I waited a lot of years to find the best man for me and I struck GOLD. We've only been married for 4 1/2 years now...so we don't have the history that you have. Byron was only about 3 weeks out from a very painful orthopedic knee surgery when I got my diagnosis. He coudn't drive, so one of my friends from work and another friend from church combined efforts to take me for my same day surgery and get me home. We spent time going to his appts and my appointments. I spent the first couple of weeks crying on and off and he just let me. He held me when i wanted it and didn't when I wanted to be left alone. I elected to have a lumpectomy instead of mastectomy and didn't require chemo...though body image problems may not be as severe, we still end up w/them...he has assured me of his love thru the whole mess and thru 30 rad treatments, my right breast burnt to a crisp! His love and support continue as I head into survivor mode. Sometimes i marvel at the gift that God gave me...but then, I shouldn't...He says he will give us the desires of our hearts...Byron is my heart's desire.0 -
I just read the post fromjbug said:A blessing from God
My husband is my special gift from God. I waited a lot of years to find the best man for me and I struck GOLD. We've only been married for 4 1/2 years now...so we don't have the history that you have. Byron was only about 3 weeks out from a very painful orthopedic knee surgery when I got my diagnosis. He coudn't drive, so one of my friends from work and another friend from church combined efforts to take me for my same day surgery and get me home. We spent time going to his appts and my appointments. I spent the first couple of weeks crying on and off and he just let me. He held me when i wanted it and didn't when I wanted to be left alone. I elected to have a lumpectomy instead of mastectomy and didn't require chemo...though body image problems may not be as severe, we still end up w/them...he has assured me of his love thru the whole mess and thru 30 rad treatments, my right breast burnt to a crisp! His love and support continue as I head into survivor mode. Sometimes i marvel at the gift that God gave me...but then, I shouldn't...He says he will give us the desires of our hearts...Byron is my heart's desire.
I just read the post from tat2granny today, what a difference. I am glad that you have a man who is caring and understanding. You go girl!0 -
MY GUY ROCKS!
He loves me more than I knew and he has proven it time and again. He was with me at every appointment, he battled insurance companies and doctors to see that I got what I needed as soon as possible. He has always been kind and humorous, but during those tough times he took it to a place I did not know it could go. He was always researching how to help me, what all the test results meant etc. He would plan trips on weekends to do things he knew I would enjoy and was up to doing. He is my rock and always will be, hmmm he even attending church with me which he did not enjoy at first that has changed.
In addition to my husband there was always my mom, dad, sisters, children and friends all who rallied to keep me fighting. I have a friend her on CSN who says we should not call them caregivers but lovegiver's I think he is right.
Hugs to all,
RE0 -
All I can say tonight isRE said:MY GUY ROCKS!
He loves me more than I knew and he has proven it time and again. He was with me at every appointment, he battled insurance companies and doctors to see that I got what I needed as soon as possible. He has always been kind and humorous, but during those tough times he took it to a place I did not know it could go. He was always researching how to help me, what all the test results meant etc. He would plan trips on weekends to do things he knew I would enjoy and was up to doing. He is my rock and always will be, hmmm he even attending church with me which he did not enjoy at first that has changed.
In addition to my husband there was always my mom, dad, sisters, children and friends all who rallied to keep me fighting. I have a friend her on CSN who says we should not call them caregivers but lovegiver's I think he is right.
Hugs to all,
RE
All I can say tonight is that I'm so grateful for my wonderful husband, our sons and the rest of our family. I couldn't get thru all this without them. My husband does it all now, cooking, cleaning, shopping, answering phone calls when I don't feel like talking, spends much of his life in a waiting room and every night tells me how much he loves me as he gently rubs my back. He needs our life back together as much as I do but he never complains. I pray that everyone has someone in their life as good as this man is for we are indeed very blessed if we do.0 -
My hubby is everything toSunrae said:All I can say tonight is
All I can say tonight is that I'm so grateful for my wonderful husband, our sons and the rest of our family. I couldn't get thru all this without them. My husband does it all now, cooking, cleaning, shopping, answering phone calls when I don't feel like talking, spends much of his life in a waiting room and every night tells me how much he loves me as he gently rubs my back. He needs our life back together as much as I do but he never complains. I pray that everyone has someone in their life as good as this man is for we are indeed very blessed if we do.
My hubby is everything to me. He is my rock, my strength, my shelter, my life. He completes me. He is all that I could ever want and much, much more. I am blessed and lucky to have him here for me. He is the best man I know. My mom always said that she thought the best person in our family was my husband because he is there for everyone and he never has an unkind word to say about anyone. High praise from a mother-in-law. And she was right, he is the best person in my family. The best person I know. Thank you for starting this thread and giving us a chance to tell what amazing partners we have. And for those that have others that are equally amazing, please tell us about them as well. I know that many on board have other partners, family, and friends that deserve to be honored as well.
I hope that everyone has at least one person that lifts their spirit, brings them hope, gives them support and helps them on this journey. It makes the load so much lighter when it is shared by someone who loves you.
Stef0 -
We celebrated 37 years of
We celebrated 37 years of marriage this past Tuesday March 2. We've had our ups an downs thru the years, but my husband has been a rock for me thru this BC. It too has brought us even closer. He also rubs and kisses my head and says he loves my cute bald head. We drive an hour and a half each way for treatment. He has never complained, straightens the house, and does the dishes. He is my support, my partner and a good guy. He makes me laugh and sometimes he makes me angry enough to laugh. As the years go by we seem to appreciate each other more and are truly happy that we have each other. My sons are also very supportive.0 -
Amazing mennatly15 said:We celebrated 37 years of
We celebrated 37 years of marriage this past Tuesday March 2. We've had our ups an downs thru the years, but my husband has been a rock for me thru this BC. It too has brought us even closer. He also rubs and kisses my head and says he loves my cute bald head. We drive an hour and a half each way for treatment. He has never complained, straightens the house, and does the dishes. He is my support, my partner and a good guy. He makes me laugh and sometimes he makes me angry enough to laugh. As the years go by we seem to appreciate each other more and are truly happy that we have each other. My sons are also very supportive.
Thank you, everybody, for your stories. I think it's so important to bring to mind the positive things that God has placed in our lives to assist us in the battle! One funny story that I wanted to share (my hubby has quite a sense of humor) - after my bilateral mastectomy, I was sleeping in and my prosthetics in my bra were lying at the foot of the bed. My husband came in to wake me up and gasped. He cried out "Oh no! They took my wife and left the boobs! I wanted them to take the boobs and leave my wife!" We've together shared that we both miss my breasts but we know that my life was more important than body parts. We also spent one night talking about what more we would do with our lives and we agreed that our lives have been full and the only thing we would ask is that our life together would have more years. Otherwise, we've had love, family, and a relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus. What more can one hope for? I'm so grateful. (The tears are now flowing.)
Beth0 -
Have to add my story
I love this thread! It's such a wonderful way to remember to be grateful for what our supportive and loving guys do.
My DH is doing nearly all the cooking. Every morning he asks me what I want for breakfast. If I feel like cooking, he lets me, but he's perfectly willing to cook, and he makes sure that there is something I can heat up for lunch when he can't be home. However, he has also rearranged his schedule so that he comes home for lunch most days to check on me and make sure I get something to eat.
He's doing all the laundry. I haven't done a lick of laundry in weeks! He washes, dries, folds, puts it away . . .
He's cleaning the cat litter boxes; he is the one who feeds the cats & dogs nearly all the time; he has taken over the vacuuming, though it doesn't get done as often as I would do it--but I'm not about to complain!!!!
He's driving me to all of my appointments, which are 45 minutes away. When I said I want to do my rads at the Med Center instead of locally because I like the rad dr at the Med Ctr so well, DH just said, "OK."
That's already an enormous amount, but I added to it: I decided I really, really wanted to take a class on Monday nights. The class is 45 minutes to an hour away from our house depending upon rush hour traffic, and not at a convenient time for my DH, as we have to leave at 4:30 p.m. to get to the class location by 5:30. The class goes until 8 p.m. This means I eat an early dinner and heat up something for him. I drive up to the class while he eats (at least so far, I'm driving up), and he drives back while I crash in the passenger seat. When I told him I really wanted to take this class but I was worried about staying awake driving home, he just said, "OK. I'll take you." The inconvenience simply didn't seem to matter--he just said, "OK."
My DH is not the type to tell me how much he loves me or to give me cards, but he truly SHOWS me how much he loves me in all the ways he supports me and takes care of me. I am so fortunate!!! I only hope that I can give back to him as much as he is giving to me.
Love, Sandy0 -
I could not have come thru this withoutLadyParvati said:Have to add my story
I love this thread! It's such a wonderful way to remember to be grateful for what our supportive and loving guys do.
My DH is doing nearly all the cooking. Every morning he asks me what I want for breakfast. If I feel like cooking, he lets me, but he's perfectly willing to cook, and he makes sure that there is something I can heat up for lunch when he can't be home. However, he has also rearranged his schedule so that he comes home for lunch most days to check on me and make sure I get something to eat.
He's doing all the laundry. I haven't done a lick of laundry in weeks! He washes, dries, folds, puts it away . . .
He's cleaning the cat litter boxes; he is the one who feeds the cats & dogs nearly all the time; he has taken over the vacuuming, though it doesn't get done as often as I would do it--but I'm not about to complain!!!!
He's driving me to all of my appointments, which are 45 minutes away. When I said I want to do my rads at the Med Center instead of locally because I like the rad dr at the Med Ctr so well, DH just said, "OK."
That's already an enormous amount, but I added to it: I decided I really, really wanted to take a class on Monday nights. The class is 45 minutes to an hour away from our house depending upon rush hour traffic, and not at a convenient time for my DH, as we have to leave at 4:30 p.m. to get to the class location by 5:30. The class goes until 8 p.m. This means I eat an early dinner and heat up something for him. I drive up to the class while he eats (at least so far, I'm driving up), and he drives back while I crash in the passenger seat. When I told him I really wanted to take this class but I was worried about staying awake driving home, he just said, "OK. I'll take you." The inconvenience simply didn't seem to matter--he just said, "OK."
My DH is not the type to tell me how much he loves me or to give me cards, but he truly SHOWS me how much he loves me in all the ways he supports me and takes care of me. I am so fortunate!!! I only hope that I can give back to him as much as he is giving to me.
Love, Sandy
my Ralph. We have been together 39 years, 27 of them married. I was so sick and couldn't get out of bed and he took care of me better than my Mom would have (she's been gone for 26 years). The messes he cleaned up were unblievable. He's the man I dreamed of when I was a young girl...and how lucky am I to have found him!
And he makes me laugh! In fact last nite we were out with friends and when we got home, the first thing I did was to rip off that wig (it's driving me nuts now that my hair is starting to come back in...itches like crazy) and he grabbed it and put it on. Only he had it on backwards. We straigtened it out and took pictures. He tells me always how beautiful I look, is my cheerleader for my hair regrowth. His Mom died from breast cancer when he was only 11 yrs old, so boobs or no boobs is not an issue with him...just wellness. I have never been shy about how I look one sided.
We are very lucky to have such great men in our lives and I pray for all who don't that someday that prince charming will ride in and swoop them up!
Hugs, Judy :-)0 -
I need to add to my comment...
Yesterday, we were at Bed Bath & Beyond. I always stop at the makeup mirrors to check things out at 8 or 10X. I don't kno why, but I do - it never gets any better!
I said to hubby, "OMG! Why didn;t you tell me I have 2 thick black hairs on my chin?" He said he hadn't noticed.
I have to tell you I am hysterical about chin hair. I'm 56 - I don't always see those darn things. Sweet hubby bought me a very nice mirror, 8X, lighted, matches bathroom, etc. Way more than I would ever consider spending for such a thing. But, says he, he wants me to feel confident that I look as good as he thinks I do.
Something that we do every week (at least): Years ago, on our way to church, as I flipped down the vanity mirror in the car for a last check, I said to him 'You are a lucky man!"
We laughed, but it continued weekly. Now I just say, 'Well?' And he says it. Recently, I asked him about his eyesight and he said it's not what it used to be. So I said "Good! You're still a lucky man"
A friend mentioned to me just today that he knows my BC has really affected my guy - worried, etc. Then he said - he loves you so much. I touched me and so I wanted to not sound ungrateful - my earlier post.
Sue0 -
No mansbmly53 said:I need to add to my comment...
Yesterday, we were at Bed Bath & Beyond. I always stop at the makeup mirrors to check things out at 8 or 10X. I don't kno why, but I do - it never gets any better!
I said to hubby, "OMG! Why didn;t you tell me I have 2 thick black hairs on my chin?" He said he hadn't noticed.
I have to tell you I am hysterical about chin hair. I'm 56 - I don't always see those darn things. Sweet hubby bought me a very nice mirror, 8X, lighted, matches bathroom, etc. Way more than I would ever consider spending for such a thing. But, says he, he wants me to feel confident that I look as good as he thinks I do.
Something that we do every week (at least): Years ago, on our way to church, as I flipped down the vanity mirror in the car for a last check, I said to him 'You are a lucky man!"
We laughed, but it continued weekly. Now I just say, 'Well?' And he says it. Recently, I asked him about his eyesight and he said it's not what it used to be. So I said "Good! You're still a lucky man"
A friend mentioned to me just today that he knows my BC has really affected my guy - worried, etc. Then he said - he loves you so much. I touched me and so I wanted to not sound ungrateful - my earlier post.
Sue
I enjoyed your post a lot, Sue! It made me tear up happy tears... like the tears at the end of a really good romantic comedy.
Fortunately and unfortunately, I don't have a man in my life. I was married for 16 years and divorced in 2004. I dated a man for nearly 4 years, on and off. He had a lack of self-confidence and it prevented him from committing, but in hindsight, that was a very big blessing. When I was diagnosed, it was during one of our down times. His last words to me were 'wow, that's heavy duty'. HUH??? How insensitive is that to say to anyone never mind someone you profess to love! I feel very fortunate that he's not in my life because he was a very selfish man and it would've made what I'm going through all that more difficult. And since I've not had a man in my life, my ex-husband has become much more civil. He's been very compassionate and we've even done a few things together with the kids which has made life very pleasant for both me and the kids, of course.
I have had one very close friend that has been an angel in my life... bringing me to appts and sitting with me during chemo treatments and always there to listen when I need to vent. However, no one takes the place of feedback like the sisters on this site. My kids have all stepped up to the plate and have shown their love for their mama
I feel I have had the very right amount of attention without being doted over too much as I don't do well with that. I prefer to be the caretaker so I don't do well when I'm the caretakee.
I just hope with all my heart that there's no one out there that feels alone going through this, but if they do, they are blessed if they found this support group because the hearts that are here are the best hearts that can be found anywhere!
Love, Mar0 -
No manMarlene_K said:No man
I enjoyed your post a lot, Sue! It made me tear up happy tears... like the tears at the end of a really good romantic comedy.
Fortunately and unfortunately, I don't have a man in my life. I was married for 16 years and divorced in 2004. I dated a man for nearly 4 years, on and off. He had a lack of self-confidence and it prevented him from committing, but in hindsight, that was a very big blessing. When I was diagnosed, it was during one of our down times. His last words to me were 'wow, that's heavy duty'. HUH??? How insensitive is that to say to anyone never mind someone you profess to love! I feel very fortunate that he's not in my life because he was a very selfish man and it would've made what I'm going through all that more difficult. And since I've not had a man in my life, my ex-husband has become much more civil. He's been very compassionate and we've even done a few things together with the kids which has made life very pleasant for both me and the kids, of course.
I have had one very close friend that has been an angel in my life... bringing me to appts and sitting with me during chemo treatments and always there to listen when I need to vent. However, no one takes the place of feedback like the sisters on this site. My kids have all stepped up to the plate and have shown their love for their mama I feel I have had the very right amount of attention without being doted over too much as I don't do well with that. I prefer to be the caretaker so I don't do well when I'm the caretakee.
I just hope with all my heart that there's no one out there that feels alone going through this, but if they do, they are blessed if they found this support group because the hearts that are here are the best hearts that can be found anywhere!
Love, Mar
Mar,
For sure, there are so many dear hearts in our lives who come out of the woodwork and support us at out time of need. One such friend lives on the other side of the country. We became friends through my daughter who works at the same school. Linda has been so supportive through email and we became fast friends even though we'd never met. God just seems to place certain people in our lives for "such a time as this." It's amazing to me. When this whole thing first started, I began a journal that was my "good thing of the day" journal - in order to remain positive and keep in mind the good things from each day. I also have a folder in my email program called "good things from cancer" in which are all of the wonderful emails that people have sent me filled with encouragement. Such is the beauty of friendship, relationship, love. It swells the heart and blesses the spirit. I'm glad that everyone who has posted on this thread have found such support and love.
Blessings, all of you dear new friends!
Beth0
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