Tired of complaining?

Mary5777
Mary5777 Member Posts: 18
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
My post today is about me. Not the members of this board. I decided on Monday that i needed to make some changes in my life. I have been living with colon cancer since Nov 2006. Now at Stage 4. I have been under treatment most of that time..But i am still here..And i have fought hard to be here.. And i finally realized that i am tired of whining about so many things...My chemo, my erbitux rash...no hair..etc. And then i go to work and listen to them complain and then i do too. And then i worry about everything i can't change... Why do i fight so hard if i won't live my life and enjoy what i do have...And i have alot...Great family, friends etc. So i am trying real hard just to enjoy life. along with my chemo..And take walks, eat better, and laugh lots more...Do you ever feel like this? And make some changes? Do i wish some days that i am not on weekly chemo? Hell yes..But it always could be worse. So out of this i hope comes a new and better me. Have a great day..thanks for listening. Mary

Comments

  • RickMurtagh
    RickMurtagh Member Posts: 587 Member
    #2
    Mary reborn...
    Sounds promising! Good luck and keep those thoughts positive!
  • chicoturner
    chicoturner Member Posts: 282
    #3
    Congrats Mary!
    What a huge hurdle to realize what you do have going for you! I to get mad sometimes when people (me included..) complain, when so many are worse off, and I don't just mean cancer! There are days when we all need to vent and just be sad or angry, but... not everyday! Congradulations on 3 1/2 years of good old survival! I have just finished 2 years and will do whatever it takes to add to that number! Have a wonderful day! Jean
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    #4
    good for you
    Hi Mary,

    I can relate and sometimes get mad at myself too for complaining about stupid things. Sometimes they're not always stupid, but pretty important- but, yeah, how we react to things and to people around us affects not only our own moods, but others too.
    We CAN choose to enjoy life, even when life throws us some really lousy curves!
    Okay- you've inspired me to stop stressing over things I can't always control- it brings me down & I'm sure it brings down others too.
    *With that said... I want to apologize to anyone on the board I've brought down by complaints. Some was legitimate sharing and venting, but I probably went overboard at times. Okay- on to the positive!

    Lisa
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #5
    Mary57
    Hi Mary, I can totally relate to your situation. I started at Stage IV in Feb 04 and have been on constant treatment with the small breaks of a month or two that would surround my surgeries. I'm also on Erbitux and CPT11 (Irricotican) and that combo has been well over 3 years. I go to Sloan and over there we double up on Erbitux so I am there every other week. That extra week makes a HUGE difference. Maybe they can do that where you get your treatments?

    It's hard to maintain feeling good, I certainly can not do it all the time nor do I try. Some things I use are seeing a therapist, I'm on an anti-depressant/anxiety meds that really take the edge off things. I try to not whine but I have my "days of whine and roses" and I have always been able to find humor in things. I've certainly had my share of pity parties but they are fewer and further between. I just has a double dose of chemo yesterday and it will knock me out for 3-5 days. I have to sometimes force myself to get out of the recliner and do something. Other times though, I just will sleep most of the day. I find it speeds recovery for me. I do have somethings I enjoy doing like playing guitar, kayaking, and photography but now I'm frozen in so no kayaking for a month or two.

    Many things you can't change so you have to go with the flow when possible. There's the Serenity Prayer that has some great advice in it. I have found my "living with cancer" to be a series of what I refer to as "New Normals". Things change and you have to go with it and get used to it and TRY to like it if possible.

    I started a thread called Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You? that has a mix of positive and not so positive responses. We all see it through our own eyes. Maybe you can find some insight from some of the responses.

    I hope this is of some help Mary.
    -phil
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    #6
    PhillieG said:

    Mary57
    Hi Mary, I can totally relate to your situation. I started at Stage IV in Feb 04 and have been on constant treatment with the small breaks of a month or two that would surround my surgeries. I'm also on Erbitux and CPT11 (Irricotican) and that combo has been well over 3 years. I go to Sloan and over there we double up on Erbitux so I am there every other week. That extra week makes a HUGE difference. Maybe they can do that where you get your treatments?

    It's hard to maintain feeling good, I certainly can not do it all the time nor do I try. Some things I use are seeing a therapist, I'm on an anti-depressant/anxiety meds that really take the edge off things. I try to not whine but I have my "days of whine and roses" and I have always been able to find humor in things. I've certainly had my share of pity parties but they are fewer and further between. I just has a double dose of chemo yesterday and it will knock me out for 3-5 days. I have to sometimes force myself to get out of the recliner and do something. Other times though, I just will sleep most of the day. I find it speeds recovery for me. I do have somethings I enjoy doing like playing guitar, kayaking, and photography but now I'm frozen in so no kayaking for a month or two.

    Many things you can't change so you have to go with the flow when possible. There's the Serenity Prayer that has some great advice in it. I have found my "living with cancer" to be a series of what I refer to as "New Normals". Things change and you have to go with it and get used to it and TRY to like it if possible.

    I started a thread called Has Cancer Been ALL Bad For You? that has a mix of positive and not so positive responses. We all see it through our own eyes. Maybe you can find some insight from some of the responses.

    I hope this is of some help Mary.
    -phil

    Mary, i used to just lie in bed and watch TV
    something I didn't do to often BC (Before Cancer)It was only after a recent snow here in Brooklyn,after i stupidly cancelled a chemo dose being afraid to take car service to cancer center and thereby delaying the completion of Treatment by another 2 weeks (already a month behind schedule due to bad reaction 12/25)that it dawned on me that I'm not gonna die tomorrow (at least NOT from cancer)therefore, I gotta start trying to live again. That afternoon I took my longest walk since colostomy and decided I will walk twice a day from now on, watch less TV, start reading and listening to music again and start moving (used to lift weights)Depression would come and go(saw psychologist once after about month and a half after treatment had started-decided I'd deal with it myself)My brief crying spells are done away from girlfriend but they're less frequent now (9 months now since Dx). Got tired of being helpless and having GF do everything so now when I go out I try to bring stuff home so she doesn't have to shop as much (only use right hand to carry things as afraid of ruining second PICC-first had moved in my arm so needed new one;still have defective port in me-didn;t want it removed at start of second round of chemo to not add additional pain).
    Mood swings, feeling depressed,helpless,hopeless at times I think we all go thru once informed of what we have (people feel this way even without cancer-look how busy shrinks are)
    but you can try to control your thoughts and only think positively (without ignoring reality).
    Deep down inside you know what you have to do for yourself to fight and beat this monster we are combating.Get off your **** and start trying to enjoy what you enjoy in life as best you can, Mary, if I can do it, you can.
  • kimby
    kimby Member Posts: 797
    #7
    Complaining
    Mary,

    I watched my dad complain and whine for years. He was depressed most of the time. I try hard not to do that.

    I'm not perfect or perky all the time. You know that standard question, "How are you today" from people that don't really want to know? My answer is always "Fabalicious!". It takes them off guard and makes me feel better. My only cancer rule is to have fun every.single.day. Seriously. This stuff can get depressing! LOL Some days I fake it til I make it. If you laugh, even if it's fake or forced, it releases endorphines that make you feel better.

    I am convinced that I have a better life with cancer than many people have with no illness. My support system is phenomenal. I am lucky and I know it. I try to show it more often than not.

    I hope some of this helps. Good luck. It isn't always easy, but it's worth it.

    Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.

    Kimby
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #8
    Hi Mary,Thanks for posting
    Hi Mary,

    Thanks for posting this thread. You have posed some good points here, very timely for me as I am thinking some of the same thoughts. I have not been in this as long as you, but got good news from my recent CT scan + have thought about the fact that I want to live well with cancer I'd rather live well without it but tha isn't an option now) - enjoy family + friends more, exercise more, etc. The weather has been beautiful lately (for where I live in Canada) + I need to get out walking more. Thanks for the inspiration! I ike Kimby's comment about having fun every day.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #9
    kimby said:

    Complaining
    Mary,

    I watched my dad complain and whine for years. He was depressed most of the time. I try hard not to do that.

    I'm not perfect or perky all the time. You know that standard question, "How are you today" from people that don't really want to know? My answer is always "Fabalicious!". It takes them off guard and makes me feel better. My only cancer rule is to have fun every.single.day. Seriously. This stuff can get depressing! LOL Some days I fake it til I make it. If you laugh, even if it's fake or forced, it releases endorphines that make you feel better.

    I am convinced that I have a better life with cancer than many people have with no illness. My support system is phenomenal. I am lucky and I know it. I try to show it more often than not.

    I hope some of this helps. Good luck. It isn't always easy, but it's worth it.

    Outwit. Outplay. Outlast.

    Kimby

    Kimby
    GREAT answer!
    -p

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