What can my family do for mental health help ?

mattel
mattel Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
I dont know if this is the spot to place this but I need some help fast This was seemingly under controll for the first couple years , but I always knew that eventually it would take its toll . Now I'm getting in trouble and I dont know what to do . My depression is so bad that I cant leave the house . and my teenage son is having trouble in school (he has breakdowns) . My wife has double cancers - parateniel cancer( dont know how to spell it ) and while treating that the anal cancer came along. We did everything for the anal c went through radiation and chemo , everything eventually got OK for a couple weeks . Then this pain started , there are some extremly painful lesions or something there that leaves her in constant extreme pain , and then when she goes to the bathroom its shear hell for her and me. Meds dont do much . When our son hears the crying and screams it affects him , and although he doesnt say anything about it WE need help , What kind ? Where do you go ? Is there a pain medicine that would work for only a short period , that she could take before the bathroom , and not be out of it all day ? I'm getting very worried about my son .Our other child is away at college ,and we are making her stay so, she can continue with a normal life and get her education .

Comments

  • CherylMike
    CherylMike Member Posts: 118
    #2
    I have a 13 year old
    My husband had head and neck cancer which he fought for over 2 years. There were periods that he was in extreme pain. We eventually went to a pain specialist who inserted a pain pump under the skin. The cath went directly into the spine. This allowed for much smaller amounts of pain medication to be administered. Have you spoke to her doctor about her pain level? There are many different kinds of medication. (I know that pain management was always a huge issue for Mike's doctors - it needed to constantly be adjusted).

    I had an issue with depression and spoke to my doctor. She prescribed an antidepressant which has really helped. (That, along with rest and exercise). My 13 year old son (I also have a 22 and 24 year old) had a very hard time during his dads illness. I asked my peditrician to refer a counselor specializing in kids who have a sick parent. He has helped my child tremendously (when he needs to go, he asks and I take him). I also called the school counselor, who in turn spoke to all his teachers. They have been very understanding in regards to homework, my son's emotions . . My son has permission to leave class when he needs to and go to her office. She has been a lifesaver. If there is a problem at school, she will call me and if I notice something at home, she will call him in and help him. She also organized a "meals on wheels" with the teachers. She would bring over dinners for us. This helped so much.

    One thing I learned - that is extremely important - is to reach out for help. I have always been a very private person, but discovered that I could not do this alone. I reached out to family, the school, - my husband's workplace hosted a golfing event with proceeds to go to our family. When people ask how they can help, let them know (meals, running errands, looking after your wife so you and your daughter could go for a walk, see a movie. . .)

    This site is a wonderful place. It has really helped me. Take care and reach out to your daughter's school for help. ~Cheryl
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #3
    Place to Come
    This is a good place to come as are the specific boards on this site. The amount of caring and support is wonderful. I can't add much except that you might want to check with the American Cancer Society in your area. I know ours can suggest resources including support groups. One young man in our church was even hooked up with a camp for children touched by cancer. Meeting other young people in similar situations was really helpful for him. Both your family dr. and your oncologist should also be able to offer help with resources. The other possibility is your local mental health department. I know in Calif. we have one in every county. We also brought in a pain specialist for my husband. He was much better at offering pain control than the oncologist. Take care. Fay
  • augigi
    augigi Member Posts: 89
    #4
    grandmafay said:

    Place to Come
    This is a good place to come as are the specific boards on this site. The amount of caring and support is wonderful. I can't add much except that you might want to check with the American Cancer Society in your area. I know ours can suggest resources including support groups. One young man in our church was even hooked up with a camp for children touched by cancer. Meeting other young people in similar situations was really helpful for him. Both your family dr. and your oncologist should also be able to offer help with resources. The other possibility is your local mental health department. I know in Calif. we have one in every county. We also brought in a pain specialist for my husband. He was much better at offering pain control than the oncologist. Take care. Fay

    You can get oral morphine
    You can get oral morphine liquid which is able to be taken before something painful or tiring, like showering, bathroom etc. If someone has a lot of pain, the medication won't knock them out all day.

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