Did you keep your mask?

jkinobay said:

I did keep mine. In the beginning I had mixed emotion. On the one hand I hated the mask and the treatments. Of course the mask reminded me of the treatments. But, I came to realize that the mask was in fact almost as an important part of my treatment team as any of the Doctors, Therapists, Nurses, etc. So yes, I still have mine now only 4 months later or so. I don't have it in a place of honor, but I truly feel as though a large part of my successful treatment was in thanks to the mask.

JK
PS: I still call it "IT" though. HAHA

Mask
I just finished up my IMRT radiation treatments on Tuesday and yes I did keep my mask. Not sure what I will end up doing with it, but after that experience I just couldn't let it go without taking an opportunity to think about it first.

Mine is hanging in my garage collecting dust.
I can't bring myself to throw it away.

I can remember being in the hospital after every chemo session and whinning like baby about not wanting to go down stairs to daily radiation, then my radiologust would send word she would be coming up with a rose bush switch if I didn't make my session, the rolling bed would arrive and I would most often relent. On some days, I took the rose bush switch instead. I was supposed to do 5 per week. I did 4 once, and averaged 3 per week. I hated the sight of that mask with mouth piece, although I can look at it today without much thought.

I relate it to a mother having a bad delivery, but has another child soon after. The mind never forgets the events, but for some reason, with the grace of God, we seem to forget the pain involved.

kept it
Yes- still got it. Collects dust, now, but have it in a place at home which causes me to see it every night a time or two. And when I see it- reminds me of a battle I have so-far won. Everyone has their own view on things like this. It was of very serious business when in use, and I continue to respect it as such. It is certainly not of pleasant memories, but certainly is a most historic memory in my life, as it is with all of us who know of.

KCass

Dazey said:

The Mask
I did not need the mask to remind me of this journey; Every day I can see the blue "line up"mark on my upper chest that will always give me a visual reminder of what I have gone through.

the mask
yep, i kept it. i am not usually a violent woman, but i intend on using it for target practice, and then.....i am gonna burn it.

alapah said:

target practice
i, too, am leaning towards taking it to the shooting range. it's in a box in a friend's garage right now.

Target Practice
I just got fitted for mine yesterday. I think after using for six weeks I will take it and throw it in a corner and decide at a later date how agressive I want to be,

SIRENAF42 said:

Dang Mask
I took my mask, but never planned to use it as a memory trigger. I destoyed it by placing in the middle of the street, saying a thank you prayer to god then I ran it over with my truck. It felt good!!!!

Dang Mask
I wish I had done that...I just told them no.

Great story

fishing_again said:

A very odd thing the mask
I did keep mine but bowth my kids and wife said it scares them and I should get rid of it . I have it hanging on a wall in a fishing hutt out back , not sure why ? but there is something about putting on that mask 33 times and how you feel the last week of treatment just makes it hard to throw away I guess , reminds me of the movie ALIENS .
I realy hope the kind lady that is just starting treatment doesnt get upset by all this ? once you have survived it we have a different view .
The mask is very important to keep from radiating the wrong areas , Nothing realy starts hurting until your well aware of what,s going on my friend.
Be strong and get in their and fight , It will all be over in a month or so than you can heal .
Not sure about keeping the mask ? Let us know

mask
I also don't know why I kept it....lobbed it to the back of a high closet shelf and occassionally freak myself out when i found it. Want to get rid of it, but is not the sort of thing you put in the trash! How many years do you think it would take to biodegrade? So the big question - what do you do if you kept it, but don't know what to do with it when you want to get rid?

Have to say, although I hated it, it was a turning point in my life as my life has never been the same since I had it - my whole way of swallowing, the constant sniffs, hearing aids and tinitus, my unique way of keeeping balanaced, the constant bottle of water and panic if I have lost it...it is really part if the new me that after 8 years shows no sign of going away.

No way!
I just finished my last treatment on Feb 12th. I had a different type of radiation called neutron therapy, but it's similar. I had high hopes of bringing it home and burning it, but it wouldn't fit in my suitcase. I stomped on it, then cut it with the sharpest sisscors I've ever seen. It felt great!

antmeme17 said:

PET SCAN
HELLO TO MY 1 ST. REPLY
YES I JUST HAD A PET SCAN 3-4 WEEKS AGO ! IT LIGHTS UP ANY AND ALL CANCER THAT MAY BE IN YOUR BODY ? I HAVE NASOPHARENGEAL STAGE 3
WORST THINGS THEY TOLD ME IS : YOU HAVE TO GET ALL YOUR TEETH PULLED AND THEN YOUR HAIR WILL MOST SURLEY FALL OUT , AND YOU ARE GONNA HATE THE DR.S AND WISH YOU WERE DEAD AND THEN HE SAID THE RADIATION WILL BURN YOUR TASTEBUDS OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND THE SALIVA GLANDS TOO ! SO, I ASKED FOR HONESTY AND THAT MASK ? O M G !!!!!!!!!!! I CANT HARDLY BREATHE OUT OF MY NOSE AND WHEN THEY PUT THAT THING ON MY FACE I THOUGHT I WOULD SUFFOCATE AND I CRIED SO HARD AND SHOOK SO BAD AND SHE FINALLY TOOK ONE OF THE PADS ?OUT AND THAT GAVE ME ABOUT 1/8 OF AN INCH SPACE AWAY FROM MY MOUYH ! IT WAS HORRIBLE ! I START CHEMO NEXT THURS. JUNE 11 TH AND MAYBE MONDAY WITH THE RADIATION >? THIS ALL STARTED WITH A LUMP ON MY LEFT SIDE OF MY NECK , WORSE PART OF ALL , I HAVE NO INSURANCE , BUT THAT IS THE LEAST OF MY WORRIES NOW ! I JUST RECEIVED MY DISSABILITY DEC. 2008 WITH NO INS. BECAUSE I AM 61 YRS YOUNG AND GOT THE DISS. IN 4 MONTHS TIME ! SOOOOOOOO>????
WHAT A GREAT RETIREMENT PARTY THIS IS GOING TO BE ! I HAVE TO HAVE 6 WEEKS OF RADIATION AND 3 CHEMO TREATMENTS AND AFTER THE RAD.IS OVER I HAVE 3 MORE DOUBLE DOSES??
MY DR. SAID I WONT HAVE A FEEDING TUBE BUT WILL BE ON ALL LIQUIDS? I GUESS I WILL LIVE OFF MY FAT ?? I HAVE BEEN HAVING A TERRIBLE TIME WITH ALL THIS HORRIBLE NEWS ! I KNOW IT COULD BE WORSE BUT GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSH ! I AM SUCH A CRY BABY THESE DAYS AND THE FEAR IS BEING PRAYED AWAY {THANK GOD ! } SO ?? ANY HELP ANYONE CAN GIVE ME AS TO HOW FAST I WILL GO DOWN HILLL AND HOW FAST I WILL START BACK UP TOWARD THE GOOD SIDE ? AND WHEN WILL I FEEL LIKE LIVING AGAIN ? MY NIECE {MY GODCHILKD} IS GETTING MARRIED IN DEC???????HELP

The shock of it all
So sorry and no doubt like everyone here, I know the fear and the shock of it all. I cried every day for months - the whole family got used to it, often cried with me, and learned beautifully how to just let whatever needed to come out that day express itself and we'd move on.... Initially I felt so much shock, I felt as if all of a sudden I had been robbed of my good health and terrified of the future. But somehow getting started on treatment helped, I thought of it as getting on board the train to wellness. Doing what needed to be done and taking the very best care I could of myself, letting others help, and NOT thinking about the future was all of great benefit. Mine was staged T4 and it is possible I have metastatic nodule, but it is too early to tell. It has only been 7 months since my journey with this cancer began - it took me roughly five months to really start feeling stronger again. Today I am in better shape than I had been in a few years - so I would definitely plant some goals every few months, like plan on enjoying that wedding. Be strong, walk tall, and look for a little joy in each day. All the best to you! jil

antmeme17 said:

PET SCAN
HELLO TO MY 1 ST. REPLY
YES I JUST HAD A PET SCAN 3-4 WEEKS AGO ! IT LIGHTS UP ANY AND ALL CANCER THAT MAY BE IN YOUR BODY ? I HAVE NASOPHARENGEAL STAGE 3
WORST THINGS THEY TOLD ME IS : YOU HAVE TO GET ALL YOUR TEETH PULLED AND THEN YOUR HAIR WILL MOST SURLEY FALL OUT , AND YOU ARE GONNA HATE THE DR.S AND WISH YOU WERE DEAD AND THEN HE SAID THE RADIATION WILL BURN YOUR TASTEBUDS OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND THE SALIVA GLANDS TOO ! SO, I ASKED FOR HONESTY AND THAT MASK ? O M G !!!!!!!!!!! I CANT HARDLY BREATHE OUT OF MY NOSE AND WHEN THEY PUT THAT THING ON MY FACE I THOUGHT I WOULD SUFFOCATE AND I CRIED SO HARD AND SHOOK SO BAD AND SHE FINALLY TOOK ONE OF THE PADS ?OUT AND THAT GAVE ME ABOUT 1/8 OF AN INCH SPACE AWAY FROM MY MOUYH ! IT WAS HORRIBLE ! I START CHEMO NEXT THURS. JUNE 11 TH AND MAYBE MONDAY WITH THE RADIATION >? THIS ALL STARTED WITH A LUMP ON MY LEFT SIDE OF MY NECK , WORSE PART OF ALL , I HAVE NO INSURANCE , BUT THAT IS THE LEAST OF MY WORRIES NOW ! I JUST RECEIVED MY DISSABILITY DEC. 2008 WITH NO INS. BECAUSE I AM 61 YRS YOUNG AND GOT THE DISS. IN 4 MONTHS TIME ! SOOOOOOOO>????
WHAT A GREAT RETIREMENT PARTY THIS IS GOING TO BE ! I HAVE TO HAVE 6 WEEKS OF RADIATION AND 3 CHEMO TREATMENTS AND AFTER THE RAD.IS OVER I HAVE 3 MORE DOUBLE DOSES??
MY DR. SAID I WONT HAVE A FEEDING TUBE BUT WILL BE ON ALL LIQUIDS? I GUESS I WILL LIVE OFF MY FAT ?? I HAVE BEEN HAVING A TERRIBLE TIME WITH ALL THIS HORRIBLE NEWS ! I KNOW IT COULD BE WORSE BUT GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSH ! I AM SUCH A CRY BABY THESE DAYS AND THE FEAR IS BEING PRAYED AWAY {THANK GOD ! } SO ?? ANY HELP ANYONE CAN GIVE ME AS TO HOW FAST I WILL GO DOWN HILLL AND HOW FAST I WILL START BACK UP TOWARD THE GOOD SIDE ? AND WHEN WILL I FEEL LIKE LIVING AGAIN ? MY NIECE {MY GODCHILKD} IS GETTING MARRIED IN DEC???????HELP

The shock of it all
So sorry and no doubt like everyone here, I know the fear and the shock of it all. I cried every day for months - the whole family got used to it, often cried with me, and learned beautifully how to just let whatever needed to come out that day express itself and we'd move on.... Initially I felt so much shock, I felt as if all of a sudden I had been robbed of my good health and terrified of the future. But somehow getting started on treatment helped, I thought of it as getting on board the train to wellness. Doing what needed to be done and taking the very best care I could of myself, letting others help, and NOT thinking about the future was all of great benefit. Mine was staged T4 and it is possible I have metastatic nodule, but it is too early to tell. It has only been 7 months since my journey with this cancer began - it took me roughly five months to really start feeling stronger again. Today I am in better shape than I had been in a few years - so I would definitely plant some goals every few months, like plan on enjoying that wedding. Be strong, walk tall, and look for a little joy in each day. All the best to you! jil