I have 1b nsclc ca of lung size 1.8cm i am scared. had ull removed 12/11/2009 no chemo needed
Comments
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Fear and Hope
Fear is completely understandable, annie. I would venture that the person diagnosed with lung cancer of ANY kind who did not feel fear is a rare breed indeed!
I am a survivor of both head/neck cancer and lung cancer, squamous cell carcinoma in both instances although they could not determine whether the lung stuff was metastasis or primary, and I had the cancer removed (I hope) both times, the second time a lower right lung lobectomy.
The lobectomy was done in January of '08. I am now NED (No Evidence of Disease) and have been thus diagnosed for what is approaching a year now.
Have your fear, annie, but know that there is hope, especially with the stage at which they found your cancer, especially with the fact they removed it or at least did their best to do so.
Welcome to CSN, by the way! You will find the folks here kind and gentle and most informative, if your experience is as mine has been.
Hope and Humor!
Take care,
Joe0 -
more fear that hope at this timesoccerfreaks said:Fear and Hope
Fear is completely understandable, annie. I would venture that the person diagnosed with lung cancer of ANY kind who did not feel fear is a rare breed indeed!
I am a survivor of both head/neck cancer and lung cancer, squamous cell carcinoma in both instances although they could not determine whether the lung stuff was metastasis or primary, and I had the cancer removed (I hope) both times, the second time a lower right lung lobectomy.
The lobectomy was done in January of '08. I am now NED (No Evidence of Disease) and have been thus diagnosed for what is approaching a year now.
Have your fear, annie, but know that there is hope, especially with the stage at which they found your cancer, especially with the fact they removed it or at least did their best to do so.
Welcome to CSN, by the way! You will find the folks here kind and gentle and most informative, if your experience is as mine has been.
Hope and Humor!
Take care,
Joe
Thanks Joe, I am also learning how to use this sight and I see I have made many mistakes. I can't seem to think of faith or hope. I know the surgeon said "I got it , is gone, I did my job and smiled very big I felt good then and full of hope. Now I feel lost and have lost my joy from too much information on the facts of CA. I am a funny lady and my friends say they need my joy and gift of laughter back. I am so lost?0 -
I highly recommend a book byannie60 said:more fear that hope at this time
Thanks Joe, I am also learning how to use this sight and I see I have made many mistakes. I can't seem to think of faith or hope. I know the surgeon said "I got it , is gone, I did my job and smiled very big I felt good then and full of hope. Now I feel lost and have lost my joy from too much information on the facts of CA. I am a funny lady and my friends say they need my joy and gift of laughter back. I am so lost?
I highly recommend a book by a physician who was diagnosed with brain cancer about 15 years ago, went through surgery, and chemotherapy, then had recurrence of his tumor, and for the last 10 years has prevented further growth of his brain tumor with a diet comprised of foods rich in anticancer activity. A founding member of Doctors Without Borders, his name is David Servan-Schreiber, M.D., PhD. His excellent nutritional approach can enhance a sense of well being by enhancing physical health. The book is Anticancer--A New Way of Life. Just Google the word "Anticancer" and it will appear near the top of the websites listed, with the book being very popular and highly rated at Amazon.com. I do believe you can be very optimistic about your future.0 -
Exercisingannie60 said:more fear that hope at this time
Thanks Joe, I am also learning how to use this sight and I see I have made many mistakes. I can't seem to think of faith or hope. I know the surgeon said "I got it , is gone, I did my job and smiled very big I felt good then and full of hope. Now I feel lost and have lost my joy from too much information on the facts of CA. I am a funny lady and my friends say they need my joy and gift of laughter back. I am so lost?
Annie, again, your fear is understandable. If you are also feeling overwhelmed and even depressed, that is not a surprising development either.
I am not sure about your ability to exercise this close after surgery, but if you are not doing so please consider taking a daily walk. It is now suggested that exercise is a good cancer preventative, excellent for feeding the brain, AND is great for getting us out and about and experiencing the simple joys of life again.
Consider walking in different venues, perhaps in the neighborhood, then at a local mall, then at a museum, a park, the beach, that sort of thing, depending on where you live.
Probably at least one reason for your fear, annie, is the notion that your time on earth is limited. It is ironic, then, that when we experience such fear we tend to shut down, when we should instead be enjoying life to its fullest.
If your fear becomes a gnawing anxiety, if depression persists, please consider consulting with a therapist or a trusted religious advisor. Find SOMEONE that you feel comfortable talking with about this. Do not let cancer have more than it has taken.
Take care,
Joe0 -
I have just completely readsoccerfreaks said:Exercising
Annie, again, your fear is understandable. If you are also feeling overwhelmed and even depressed, that is not a surprising development either.
I am not sure about your ability to exercise this close after surgery, but if you are not doing so please consider taking a daily walk. It is now suggested that exercise is a good cancer preventative, excellent for feeding the brain, AND is great for getting us out and about and experiencing the simple joys of life again.
Consider walking in different venues, perhaps in the neighborhood, then at a local mall, then at a museum, a park, the beach, that sort of thing, depending on where you live.
Probably at least one reason for your fear, annie, is the notion that your time on earth is limited. It is ironic, then, that when we experience such fear we tend to shut down, when we should instead be enjoying life to its fullest.
If your fear becomes a gnawing anxiety, if depression persists, please consider consulting with a therapist or a trusted religious advisor. Find SOMEONE that you feel comfortable talking with about this. Do not let cancer have more than it has taken.
Take care,
Joe
I have just completely read "your story" MY what a great writer you are!!! You need to sell your story! You have been through a lot and I am impressed with the honest emotions you have shown and the wonderful descriptions of your events. I am going to see a councelor feb 22nd as I hate living with the fear. I am O.K. sometimes and then it hits like a bat to my stomach and the fear comes back. I am a person who has always been strong for others and have never had to find strength like this in me before as I am sure no one with an illness like Ca has. run on sentence. I keep wondering why I feel such fear when I really haven't been told anything but good reports, I also know and can touch six people in my life that have had the very same thing maybe even worse and the are alive 40,10,14,6.5 years later. I am suprised at myself as people have always looked to me for strength and now I find out I am a fake ???? Please know that I felt rivited to your words you do have a gift. What is you area of employment, Marketing? English Prof?? I have and always did exercises. Inow it is some less but I am building it up 2 miles day on bike and tredmill I live in Iowa so walks outsiode with lung are hels for special occassions. I have a great husband who is so supportive , he has not seen me this fearful and lost before so it is hard on him also. I will pull it together I just know I will I just need to stop my own nightmare.0 -
you are right annieannie60 said:I have just completely read
I have just completely read "your story" MY what a great writer you are!!! You need to sell your story! You have been through a lot and I am impressed with the honest emotions you have shown and the wonderful descriptions of your events. I am going to see a councelor feb 22nd as I hate living with the fear. I am O.K. sometimes and then it hits like a bat to my stomach and the fear comes back. I am a person who has always been strong for others and have never had to find strength like this in me before as I am sure no one with an illness like Ca has. run on sentence. I keep wondering why I feel such fear when I really haven't been told anything but good reports, I also know and can touch six people in my life that have had the very same thing maybe even worse and the are alive 40,10,14,6.5 years later. I am suprised at myself as people have always looked to me for strength and now I find out I am a fake ???? Please know that I felt rivited to your words you do have a gift. What is you area of employment, Marketing? English Prof?? I have and always did exercises. Inow it is some less but I am building it up 2 miles day on bike and tredmill I live in Iowa so walks outsiode with lung are hels for special occassions. I have a great husband who is so supportive , he has not seen me this fearful and lost before so it is hard on him also. I will pull it together I just know I will I just need to stop my own nightmare.
I am a big fan of soccerfreaks writing, I told him the same thing I was inspired by his writing and couldn't stop reading, he has a wonderful way of putting things, along with humor, it should be a book, to inspire others that have cancer. pat.0 -
Joe is my Heronanaof7 said:you are right annie
I am a big fan of soccerfreaks writing, I told him the same thing I was inspired by his writing and couldn't stop reading, he has a wonderful way of putting things, along with humor, it should be a book, to inspire others that have cancer. pat.
I totally agree. He was the first post I read when I logged on here in October, and it was the first time I truly smiled in weeks. Joe, I hope you know what you do for us all -- and how much we appreciate it.0 -
Thank you, ladies,Laura88 said:Joe is my Hero
I totally agree. He was the first post I read when I logged on here in October, and it was the first time I truly smiled in weeks. Joe, I hope you know what you do for us all -- and how much we appreciate it.
I am humbled and honored, and, for once, at a loss for words.
Take care,
Joe0 -
Another good word for Joesoccerfreaks said:Thank you, ladies,
I am humbled and honored, and, for once, at a loss for words.
Take care,
Joe
I joined this forum because of my sister's brain cancer. Later I came to the Lung Cancer forum because they found a large mass in my lung and the ER doc was 90% sure it was lung cancer. (it wasn't) I was scared out of my mind and Joe was the first to respond to my cry for help.
Thanks to Joe, and all others on this forum who have helped me so much.
And thanks to the American Cancer Society for hosting this forum and for everything else you do. After finding this board I became a regular donor to your worthy cause.0 -
no wordssoccerfreaks said:Thank you, ladies,
I am humbled and honored, and, for once, at a loss for words.
Take care,
Joe
I so agree with the rest, soccer you are a source of inspiration.I'm reading more of your story tonite on my blackberry and just reaching out for strength. Just huddled in my bed on third floor of hospital,pretty much frozen in terror at the upcoming path. reports. Top left lobe was removed tues. a.m. after sugical biopsy said its cancer.the surgeon before hand said he didn't think it was. The lung doctor said it didn't look like it was, yet here I am. I have been smiling and getting on with friends and family for 2 days, actually physically doing well thanks to epidural and percoset! But as soon as I'm alone I scream in silence into my pillow. The surgeon said he "doesn't believe" it's in lymph nodes, but that and a nickel will get u what. He actually told my sister and daughter it was a surgical cure?!? Why did he do that? You can't tell them that. I was actually feeling so positive, probably the drugs, but now I'm in the middle of a meltdown-crying is a sure fire way to get the techs and aides to leave ur.room! Okay, it did help a bit to get some of the fear out. Again, sorry for the "downer", just can't tell anyone I know what's really going on in my head. Peace.0 -
no wordsDMP said:no words
I so agree with the rest, soccer you are a source of inspiration.I'm reading more of your story tonite on my blackberry and just reaching out for strength. Just huddled in my bed on third floor of hospital,pretty much frozen in terror at the upcoming path. reports. Top left lobe was removed tues. a.m. after sugical biopsy said its cancer.the surgeon before hand said he didn't think it was. The lung doctor said it didn't look like it was, yet here I am. I have been smiling and getting on with friends and family for 2 days, actually physically doing well thanks to epidural and percoset! But as soon as I'm alone I scream in silence into my pillow. The surgeon said he "doesn't believe" it's in lymph nodes, but that and a nickel will get u what. He actually told my sister and daughter it was a surgical cure?!? Why did he do that? You can't tell them that. I was actually feeling so positive, probably the drugs, but now I'm in the middle of a meltdown-crying is a sure fire way to get the techs and aides to leave ur.room! Okay, it did help a bit to get some of the fear out. Again, sorry for the "downer", just can't tell anyone I know what's really going on in my head. Peace.
thankfully for this site you CAN tell us whats going on in your head, because we probably have the same thoughts now or in the past, Good luck with your recovery, I had lower left lobe removed in may of 09, this site got me through that and other issues. keep coming back a reading, its good for the soul, many loving caring people here, and we all need that, I think that after the surgery the reality sinks in. I got very depressed after I came home, but it does get better.0 -
A Nickel Will Get You WhatDMP said:no words
I so agree with the rest, soccer you are a source of inspiration.I'm reading more of your story tonite on my blackberry and just reaching out for strength. Just huddled in my bed on third floor of hospital,pretty much frozen in terror at the upcoming path. reports. Top left lobe was removed tues. a.m. after sugical biopsy said its cancer.the surgeon before hand said he didn't think it was. The lung doctor said it didn't look like it was, yet here I am. I have been smiling and getting on with friends and family for 2 days, actually physically doing well thanks to epidural and percoset! But as soon as I'm alone I scream in silence into my pillow. The surgeon said he "doesn't believe" it's in lymph nodes, but that and a nickel will get u what. He actually told my sister and daughter it was a surgical cure?!? Why did he do that? You can't tell them that. I was actually feeling so positive, probably the drugs, but now I'm in the middle of a meltdown-crying is a sure fire way to get the techs and aides to leave ur.room! Okay, it did help a bit to get some of the fear out. Again, sorry for the "downer", just can't tell anyone I know what's really going on in my head. Peace.
I had the same experience with the surgeon who announced to my friends and family that he "got it all" and as a consequence they all breathed a sigh of relief and left me frightened and alone with a diagnosis of adenocarcinoma. Despite the fact that it was found early it is still cancer of the lung, with its very high mortality not to mention the stigma of a disease that folks mostly think you deserve (even if you quit the filthy habit decades before your diagnosis). After my lobectomy my siblings were sympathetic with the pain I was in (traditional open thoracotomy) but now 9 or 10 weeks later they cannot understand why I cannot just move on - as Joe said, right when you should be appreciating life the most, you whine and sulk - at least that is what I have been doing. I still have pain if I try to do too much ( I know, do more and you will feel better). I cannot tell everyone how much just venting here helps. I see how silly I have been after hearing your stories of brain radiation and chemo, I really should shut up and thank my lucky stars that all I needed was the surgery - and the anxiety of the next scan, Living with cancer - stage 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 - we are all living with cancer. it is the living part I forgot about for too long. Thank you all - connie.0 -
same here.....congoody said:A Nickel Will Get You What
I had the same experience with the surgeon who announced to my friends and family that he "got it all" and as a consequence they all breathed a sigh of relief and left me frightened and alone with a diagnosis of adenocarcinoma. Despite the fact that it was found early it is still cancer of the lung, with its very high mortality not to mention the stigma of a disease that folks mostly think you deserve (even if you quit the filthy habit decades before your diagnosis). After my lobectomy my siblings were sympathetic with the pain I was in (traditional open thoracotomy) but now 9 or 10 weeks later they cannot understand why I cannot just move on - as Joe said, right when you should be appreciating life the most, you whine and sulk - at least that is what I have been doing. I still have pain if I try to do too much ( I know, do more and you will feel better). I cannot tell everyone how much just venting here helps. I see how silly I have been after hearing your stories of brain radiation and chemo, I really should shut up and thank my lucky stars that all I needed was the surgery - and the anxiety of the next scan, Living with cancer - stage 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 - we are all living with cancer. it is the living part I forgot about for too long. Thank you all - connie.
Was sleeping but need for potty, a 20 minute ordeal, woke me. This hurts so bad. Can't have drugs until 12:30. Apparently my new best friend for the epidural is now just a polacebo injector. Congoody, you feel what I'm going thru exactly. Am so damn alone here, get to look forward to chest tube coming out -that just sounds like something out of a horror movie. How is a person supposed to get used to this pain? I feel half out of my mind. And, yeah, there's part of me that believes I brought this on myself....0 -
I have felt the same fearDMP said:no words
I so agree with the rest, soccer you are a source of inspiration.I'm reading more of your story tonite on my blackberry and just reaching out for strength. Just huddled in my bed on third floor of hospital,pretty much frozen in terror at the upcoming path. reports. Top left lobe was removed tues. a.m. after sugical biopsy said its cancer.the surgeon before hand said he didn't think it was. The lung doctor said it didn't look like it was, yet here I am. I have been smiling and getting on with friends and family for 2 days, actually physically doing well thanks to epidural and percoset! But as soon as I'm alone I scream in silence into my pillow. The surgeon said he "doesn't believe" it's in lymph nodes, but that and a nickel will get u what. He actually told my sister and daughter it was a surgical cure?!? Why did he do that? You can't tell them that. I was actually feeling so positive, probably the drugs, but now I'm in the middle of a meltdown-crying is a sure fire way to get the techs and aides to leave ur.room! Okay, it did help a bit to get some of the fear out. Again, sorry for the "downer", just can't tell anyone I know what's really going on in my head. Peace.
I have felt the same fear and also feel guilty when my husband sees me sad. I don't want the fear but it hits and then I am o.k. again. This sight and the words of soo many have been helpful to me. I will add you to my prayer circle . annie600 -
Not your fault!DMP said:same here.....
Was sleeping but need for potty, a 20 minute ordeal, woke me. This hurts so bad. Can't have drugs until 12:30. Apparently my new best friend for the epidural is now just a polacebo injector. Congoody, you feel what I'm going thru exactly. Am so damn alone here, get to look forward to chest tube coming out -that just sounds like something out of a horror movie. How is a person supposed to get used to this pain? I feel half out of my mind. And, yeah, there's part of me that believes I brought this on myself....
Ah, DMP, please don't ever blame yourself and don't let anyone else tell you that you brought it on yourself! Many people smoke their whole lives without consequence, and many people who never smoked have lung cancer. Repeat after me: it is not my fault I am sick!
I never had part of a lung removed, but I've had several chest tubes, so I have kind of an idea of the pain you are in and the ordeal of getting up to pee amid a tangle of tubing - oxygen, water pump, IVs, etc. Just please keep in mind that it and you will get better. You don't have to get used to the pain, it will go away bit by bit as you heal, and if your pain meds aren't doing the job, maybe a pain patch can fill in between times; ask the doctor about Fentanyl.
Remember, it will get better, and so will you 0 -
The pain will not last forever, I promise!!DMP said:same here.....
Was sleeping but need for potty, a 20 minute ordeal, woke me. This hurts so bad. Can't have drugs until 12:30. Apparently my new best friend for the epidural is now just a polacebo injector. Congoody, you feel what I'm going thru exactly. Am so damn alone here, get to look forward to chest tube coming out -that just sounds like something out of a horror movie. How is a person supposed to get used to this pain? I feel half out of my mind. And, yeah, there's part of me that believes I brought this on myself....
DMP, I had a lobectomy and the pain was beyond anything I had ever imagined. Once the chest tubes are out you will feel much better. Do not be shy about asking for pain meds, it can be managed. Good luck to you and please try to have faith that healing is ahead.0 -
hello cyber angels!annie60 said:I have felt the same fear
I have felt the same fear and also feel guilty when my husband sees me sad. I don't want the fear but it hits and then I am o.k. again. This sight and the words of soo many have been helpful to me. I will add you to my prayer circle . annie60
All of u are amazing and I thank you, thank you for your calming and understanding words. The news came back good-no critter in lymph nodes! I was ecstatic! Then a very few well meaning souls mention "well tou know it spreads when they cut you open" and "I hope your one of the lucky ones" aagghh! Yes, I know enough to ignore them. Want to knock my IV stand up against stupid heads. Again all of you are the very best-thank you. Annie60, can't work this site well from a blackberry, so I will reply better to you when I get home. Love to all!0 -
chest tubesDMP said:hello cyber angels!
All of u are amazing and I thank you, thank you for your calming and understanding words. The news came back good-no critter in lymph nodes! I was ecstatic! Then a very few well meaning souls mention "well tou know it spreads when they cut you open" and "I hope your one of the lucky ones" aagghh! Yes, I know enough to ignore them. Want to knock my IV stand up against stupid heads. Again all of you are the very best-thank you. Annie60, can't work this site well from a blackberry, so I will reply better to you when I get home. Love to all!
maybe I was one of the lucky ones but my dr. kept me well medicated and when they took the tubes out I didn't feel them come out ,I never did use all the pain medication they sent home with me. when I got home I slept in a recliner I borrowed from a family member the kind that you push a button and it stand you up it was great. I hope every day you feel a little better. Keep us posted on how you are doing. I had my surgery 8 months ago the surgery is just a memory.0 -
Chest tube removalDMP said:same here.....
Was sleeping but need for potty, a 20 minute ordeal, woke me. This hurts so bad. Can't have drugs until 12:30. Apparently my new best friend for the epidural is now just a polacebo injector. Congoody, you feel what I'm going thru exactly. Am so damn alone here, get to look forward to chest tube coming out -that just sounds like something out of a horror movie. How is a person supposed to get used to this pain? I feel half out of my mind. And, yeah, there's part of me that believes I brought this on myself....
The thoracic surgeon removed my last tube right in his office, when I went for a follow-up. He said "take a deep breath and hold it" and pulled the tube before I had a chance to say "wait - what about some local anesthesia!". It was over in a second and a half - although it certainly wasn't comfortable, it was quick!
My thoracic doc is as well-known for his lack of a bed-side manner as for his skill - I would think most docs would give you local anesthetic if you request it, why don't you ask beforehand to make sure yours will?
Best wishes, Deb0 -
lung cancer survivorannie60 said:more fear that hope at this time
Thanks Joe, I am also learning how to use this sight and I see I have made many mistakes. I can't seem to think of faith or hope. I know the surgeon said "I got it , is gone, I did my job and smiled very big I felt good then and full of hope. Now I feel lost and have lost my joy from too much information on the facts of CA. I am a funny lady and my friends say they need my joy and gift of laughter back. I am so lost?
Annie, I was exactly the same way after my surgery. It took me a long time before I could even say the word "cancer". I would always refer to that time as when I got sick. It will get easier, but takes time. Once you have cancer it is impossible to forget.
Good luck to you & remember you have been very lucky. I have a niece who is only 50 years old & has been living with stage IV breast cancer for 4 1/2 yrs & being positive is what has kept her going. She was only given 2 1/2 yrs to live & she is still going strong.0
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