Update from blood transfusion

My red blood cell count did respond to the transfusion in a positive swing. My count last week was 8.3 and yesterday it was 9.1. We are going to keep checking it and if it dips again, will schedule another transfusion. Totally lost it and broke down in the drs office yesterday at chemo, though. Every new ache or twinge scares the crap out of you and you wonder if the big C is showing up somewhere else. The left side of my chest hurts sort of like a muscle pull. There was no cancer on that side and there is no breast tissue left there. One of my side effects from taxol is a stuffed/runny nose and cough caused by post nasal drip. I have that in spades and I possibly have pulled a muscle from coughing. However, my bone scan did show a spot on an upper rib on the left side and my coughing could have exasberbated that spot. Neither the doctor nor nurse practioner think it is a new worry. My right arm and hand are slightly swollen, so I now have to see a physical therapist to be fitted for a compression sleeve because of the lymphedema. The swelling isn't painful yet, though I guess it can get that way, but it is causing issues with my bowling (neat excuse huh?) and I certainly can't have that. I was feeling very sorry for myself and very frustrated still about my lack of energy. I just started crying and couldn't seem to stop. My np was wonderful and said it was about time. She told me to concentrate on the things I can do and own the fact the I can't do everything I once could. She said if anybody can't handle that, tell them to f*** off. She said I am clearly not used to asking for help and not being in control. Gee, think she knows me? She apparently then went and tattled to the dr because he came in after I was hooked up. He pulled his stool right over to me and put his hand on my arm. He said that sometimes the health providers forget just exactly how much the patients are going through. He said it's ok to be angry at the situation and even at him if I want to be. He gave me permission to call him any names I want, he would understand. He said we are getting this under control and he will be with me every step of the way and I can vent in his office any time and ask to speak to him about any of it at any time. He is a very straightforward, not warm and fuzzy, but clearly cares about his patients mental well being too. I felt much better when I left.

Thank you all for being here and listening when we need to vent.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Kathy