Feeling Helpless

sandycr
sandycr Member Posts: 16
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I have recently had a Mastectomy w/ reconstruction, I was lucky in that I did not require Radiation or Chemo. My sister had a lumpectomy last week and now has to have 3 treatments of Radiation and 3 treatments of Chemo. This news just breaks my heart. What do I need to know and how can I help her get through this? The Doc told her she would lose her hair. I am so sad for her. I want to help her get through this but I don't know how.

Feeling Helpless
Sandy

Comments

  • SunnieC
    SunnieC Member Posts: 37
    #2
    Be there for each other
    It is the best that you can do for each other - you will both be going through some tough times - rely on family and friends when you can - don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it - come to this site when you can - it has been a true blessing for me even when I only read and do not feel like posting -

    I wish you both the best of luck -

    Health and happieness to you

    Sunnie
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #3
    She'll be fine.
    I had a lumpectomy with radiation only. They said chemo was up to me but because of my OncoDX Score I decided against it. I had 33 radiation treatments and although it was a challenge it went quickly. Can't speak to the chemo but I'm sure you will hear from others who have been through it.

    Good luck to both of you. It is great that you have each other.

    Roseann
  • BethInAz
    BethInAz Member Posts: 203 Member
    #4
    Feeling Helpless
    Sandy,
    As one who just finished chemo treatments yesterday, I found that the best help I received from others is just their love and their being there for me. I've seen so many in the chemotherapy rooms just bringing friends with them and chatting. Yesterday there was almost an air of reunion and party. One of the gals had made toffee and she was walking around the chemo rooms carrying her IV bag and offering goodies to the rest of the crowd. Your sister will find that it's all in your attitude. But she can do it - just like you've been able to endure. With you being there for her, she'll get through it and it won't be as bad as she anticipates. Lots of prayer and faith in God to get you through is the key. Let your sister know that they've done amazing things with pre-meds. I've had no nausea throughout my 4 chemo treatments. I got the anti-nausea pills and used only 1 over the past 4 months. I've been on taxotere and cytoxan - 4 times every 3 weeks.
    Blessings to you both!
    Beth
  • sandycr
    sandycr Member Posts: 16
    #5
    BethInAz said:

    Feeling Helpless
    Sandy,
    As one who just finished chemo treatments yesterday, I found that the best help I received from others is just their love and their being there for me. I've seen so many in the chemotherapy rooms just bringing friends with them and chatting. Yesterday there was almost an air of reunion and party. One of the gals had made toffee and she was walking around the chemo rooms carrying her IV bag and offering goodies to the rest of the crowd. Your sister will find that it's all in your attitude. But she can do it - just like you've been able to endure. With you being there for her, she'll get through it and it won't be as bad as she anticipates. Lots of prayer and faith in God to get you through is the key. Let your sister know that they've done amazing things with pre-meds. I've had no nausea throughout my 4 chemo treatments. I got the anti-nausea pills and used only 1 over the past 4 months. I've been on taxotere and cytoxan - 4 times every 3 weeks.
    Blessings to you both!
    Beth

    Feeling not so Helpless
    Thanks everyone for the great words of wisdom. I will defintely "be there for her and with her". I will keep in mind that attitude and faith is the key.

    Sandy
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #6
    sandycr said:

    Feeling not so Helpless
    Thanks everyone for the great words of wisdom. I will defintely "be there for her and with her". I will keep in mind that attitude and faith is the key.

    Sandy

    depending on how you are
    depending on how you are feeling yourself, just be there. help out with food perhaps. I found that people calling even if i couldnt talk made me feel part of their lives. I had one very persistne friend and it made me feel so cared about. She dropped off food even when I didnt eat it my family did. and it helped my husband. I hope it goes well for you both.
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #7
    Sandy
    So sorry you're both having to go through this, but you are lucky to have each other.

    I don't have a sister, but do have a very good friend who was diagnosed about a month after I was. It has been good for both of us to have someone to talk to that has a real understanding of what each other is going through.

    As others have said, just being there for her is the key. You two will figure out what you need from each other. Also know that the chemo and radiation are doable. I'm almost finished with my chemo (last round of C/T next week) and will have radiation after that. When your sister begins to lose her hair there are a lot of things you could do, if you and she are up to it, to lift her spirits. Some ladies losing their hair have opted to have a "shaving party" and made it a festive event instead of being a sad one. Another way to make it more about the fun is to go shopping (who doesn't like that??) for wigs/scarves/hats. One of my cousins helped me do that one day, and we had a great time together.

    Take care,
    Cindy
  • sandycr
    sandycr Member Posts: 16
    #8
    cindycflynn said:

    Sandy
    So sorry you're both having to go through this, but you are lucky to have each other.

    I don't have a sister, but do have a very good friend who was diagnosed about a month after I was. It has been good for both of us to have someone to talk to that has a real understanding of what each other is going through.

    As others have said, just being there for her is the key. You two will figure out what you need from each other. Also know that the chemo and radiation are doable. I'm almost finished with my chemo (last round of C/T next week) and will have radiation after that. When your sister begins to lose her hair there are a lot of things you could do, if you and she are up to it, to lift her spirits. Some ladies losing their hair have opted to have a "shaving party" and made it a festive event instead of being a sad one. Another way to make it more about the fun is to go shopping (who doesn't like that??) for wigs/scarves/hats. One of my cousins helped me do that one day, and we had a great time together.

    Take care,
    Cindy

    Thanks
    Thanks so much for your wonderful ideas and kind words. I'm so glad I have so many of you here to answer my questions. I will definitly want to do the shopping.

    Thanks again,
    Sandy

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