Wondering what might go wrong next but not giving up hope

Husband 42 years young diagnosis scc HPV stage 4 right side 5 nodes involved. neck dissection may 1 2009 Peg tube placed right after surgery.Chemo and radiation 8 weeks ended july 29th 2009.Had pain meds but did not use until end of radiation and then just to sleep.Some nausea but really through it all did pretty well weight started at 280 by end it was 240 so not to bad.Pet scan 1st of aug looks good we where told He started eating again about 2 weeks after treatments stopped.Lots of water to help everything go down.2nd week in sept find new lump right side.Ent said he thinks its just scar tissue from surgery and rad treatments. But will keep and eye on it middle of oct lump is larger so orders a biospy.Have that a week later next day Ent calls they are calling it a reacurrance but thats not what it is it never was gone he told us.pet scan is next 1st of nov.Wait a week then go see the Ent there are two tumors said he can,t do surgery because of the damage to skin from the radiation Said there was nothing more he could do.Has stopped eating again by now because of pain and having harder time with opening his mouth very wide.Down to 220 lbs now but can still drink.I up his nutrition to 3500 cals a day he was taking about 3000.Tumors are getting larger you can see them poking out side of his neck now.on pain meds now every day found new Ent who said same thing.Got set up with medical oncologist to start new chemo erbitux but no radiation.Start chemo 2nd week in dec 2009.Is now down to 200lbs.Try to up his cals again but he can,t handle it gets sick so have to stay at 3500 for now.Chemo is 1 day a week for 2 weeks then 4 days stright and has to be in hospital for that has a port in now.The last time he was in hospita was last week and they forgot to bring much nutrition.The hospital was 150 miles from us so i could not stay with him had to work.He got a total of maybe 15 cans wile he was there.he said he asked for it but they just never came and then he would forget if he had had any.I was so mad i won,t say what i said.I have great guilt over this he is down to 180lbs now.I won,t ever leave him again. I have been able to care for him through all this by myself.His tumors have opened up a couple times now and have been leaking.Oh by the way he does not go to that hospital anymore for treatments.I think he is starting to lose hope he has started giving a lot of things away.An i just don,t know what to think anymore when this all started they said he had an 85% survival rate.He is on a pain patch now and they just upped his dose and he says it,s not doing much good.He has gained a couple lbs back since he has been home.Oh i forgot he can,t even drink now because he has holes in the back of his throat.