Shout out to my stomies

Hey everybody. Stewie here - Roger's stoma. Roger just fell asleep right in front of the computer, so I thought I'd say hello. Poor guy. He's been all over the place emotionally tonight. One minute he's crying. The next he's laughing. Then crying again. At one point he was dancing around the room naked.
It's taken Rog and I a while to become friends. At first he was really mad at me all the time. He was all like, "I hate you." And I was all like, "Well I hate you too. I don't want to be here!" I got really sick of all the "my dr ripped me a new a**hole" jokes. I'm not an a**hole okay! ? It wasn't my fault that the first time we had a blow out was at a U2 concert. And it's definitely not my fault that he has the small motor skills of a retarded turtle. After 6 months, the guy still gets poop all over the place. I keep telling him to slow down and relax. It was my fault the time I made rude noises when he was standing next to a very proper looking old lady at the book store. You should have seen his face. It was hilarious. Believe me; he had it coming. But over time, we've gotten to be good buddies. I think he appreciates me more for what I bring to the fight. And I've come to see that he isn't really a stupid ****. He just has a rough time now and again.
The puppy just peed on the floor for the 17th time tonight. It might get ugly when Rog wakes up; or maybe he'll just clean it up and say, "Oh Suzy scuzy. Yer so cute." We never know what this guy is going to do lately. Either way I'm out of here cuz pee really grosses me out.
Peace out Stomies!!
Stewie