Meltdown

sallyf
sallyf Member Posts: 33
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Of course, as we all move through this journey with breast cancer, we do our best to keep a positive attitude and stay upbeat. That's the way it should be and we get so much support on this site, it makes the hard days a lot easier!! But, I'm writing because 3 weeks after my 1st chemo, when I was feeling good...like I could lick this beast, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK!!
I have a history of anxiety, but I have taken medication for it, and it hadn't reared it's scary head for about 10 years. I think my body just finally said to my head, "OK, you're so upbeat and you think you're such a warrior, but I gotta have a meltdown!"

Of course, my counselor-friend helped me to realize that depression/anxiety/crying are very common during BC treatment. I just want to pass on the message that it's OK,OK,OK to have a meltdown and cry when you need to....your body actually needs the release.

Anyway, that was a humbling experience for me. I will listen to my body more and honor it, while doing my best to be a positive warrior!
Thanks for listening : )
Sally

Comments

  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #2
    I'm so sorry that happened.
    I'm so sorry that happened. This is an extremely trying time and difficult to deal with. I'm glad that you know and understand what happened, it's a good start. Personally, there have been times in my life when I couldn't move on until I had a real, real 'good' cry. Cried it all out and started to climb out of that hole - climbing back up. Thank you for sharing your feelings, it helps others, who might be going thru the same thing, so much.

    take care,
    Sue
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #3
    sbmly53 said:

    I'm so sorry that happened.
    I'm so sorry that happened. This is an extremely trying time and difficult to deal with. I'm glad that you know and understand what happened, it's a good start. Personally, there have been times in my life when I couldn't move on until I had a real, real 'good' cry. Cried it all out and started to climb out of that hole - climbing back up. Thank you for sharing your feelings, it helps others, who might be going thru the same thing, so much.

    take care,
    Sue

    So sorry Sally. I think a
    So sorry Sally. I think a meltdown goes hand in hand with having bc. There is so much to deal with physically and mentally that sometimes it overwhelms us. So, you are not alone. I pray that you feel better soon. And, use this board all you want. That is why we are here, for support.

    KYLEZ ♥
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #4
    sbmly53 said:

    I'm so sorry that happened.
    I'm so sorry that happened. This is an extremely trying time and difficult to deal with. I'm glad that you know and understand what happened, it's a good start. Personally, there have been times in my life when I couldn't move on until I had a real, real 'good' cry. Cried it all out and started to climb out of that hole - climbing back up. Thank you for sharing your feelings, it helps others, who might be going thru the same thing, so much.

    take care,
    Sue

    Sally
    I am so very sorry Sally that you had a meltdown. Cry until you feel you have it all out. It will do you good. Never hold your feelings in. You are entitled to them. Thanks for sharing with us. God Bless!

    Sue :)
  • pdv
    pdv Member Posts: 56
    #5
    Ritzy said:

    Sally
    I am so very sorry Sally that you had a meltdown. Cry until you feel you have it all out. It will do you good. Never hold your feelings in. You are entitled to them. Thanks for sharing with us. God Bless!

    Sue :)

    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad I found this thread as I was wondering why I am crying so much of the time. Everyone on this thread sounds so upbeat that I beginning to think I was a big crybaby and I hate being one. It's almost as if the harder I try not to the more it happens. Especially since I still have to come to work and I work with all men. If I wasn't so old they might think I am going through PMS. LOL
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #6
    positive warrior
    I am sorry this happened to you.....but, I love your term "positive warrior", because that is what we need to be!! It is difficult at times, that's for sure.
  • sallyf
    sallyf Member Posts: 33
    #7
    pdv said:

    I'm so glad
    I'm so glad I found this thread as I was wondering why I am crying so much of the time. Everyone on this thread sounds so upbeat that I beginning to think I was a big crybaby and I hate being one. It's almost as if the harder I try not to the more it happens. Especially since I still have to come to work and I work with all men. If I wasn't so old they might think I am going through PMS. LOL

    You're NORMAL
    You are so right, pdv! Go ahead and cry and know that I'm going to let myself cry more too, if I need too! It's healthy and strong for us to respect our feelings AND it doesn't make us weak! Yes, we are all strong, positive warriors with a normal spectrum of responses to having breast cancer.

    pdv, we love you and are supporting you like crazy! Write any time!
    Sally
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #8
    Crying is actually good for you!
    It releases toxins in the body, and just helps to release some of the tension you're holding so tight inside.

    I used to cry all the time when I was younger and then I would get frustrated that I couldn't seem to control my emotions which would only make me cry more.

    Once I realized that it was not just OK, but actually healthy to release that emotion with a cry, I found myself crying less and less, and much more able to accept it than be frustrated by it.

    I did have a bit of a meltdown myself about a week and a half ago (at work, of course!). I went for my 3rd out of 4 chemo treatments yesterday (only 1 more to go - Yea!!) and talked to my onco about it. She said that it's perfectly natural under the circumstances, and the changes to my hormonal levels are just exacerbating my emotional state. I was glad my husband was there to hear her say that the emotional level is likely to be a bit of a roller coaster for a good 6 months after the beginning of chemo so that he won't expect me to just "bounce back" as soon as my treatments are over.

    It's all so overwhelming, especially at first, that it sometimes amazes me that we make it through as well as we do.

    It sounds like you're already on the right path to accepting that your journey is not going to be a smooth one, and I think that will help you get through to the finish line we all hope to see.

    Take care,
    Cindy
  • pitt
    pitt Member Posts: 387
    #9
    Great Post Sally!
    Thanks for posting this! It's so important to listen to our bodies and to be kind to ourselves. This is a very difficult process we're going through and understanding that we are only human is a big piece to recovery. Thanks for posting! Good luck! Pitt
  • TLynn0102
    TLynn0102 Member Posts: 86
    #10
    pitt said:

    Great Post Sally!
    Thanks for posting this! It's so important to listen to our bodies and to be kind to ourselves. This is a very difficult process we're going through and understanding that we are only human is a big piece to recovery. Thanks for posting! Good luck! Pitt

    Sally,
    We travel a road
    Sally,
    We travel a road unknown to most, others do not understand and at some point neither do we but we accept our situation and ask for strength. From time to time a melt down is extremely good for the sole, consider it cleansing if you will. Cry, scream, stomp your feet if you have to but get it out. Anxiety and stress are extremely unhelathy for anyone, let alone someone walking our journey. Life is hard enough as it is but then you toss in the wrench and things spin out of control. Know that any type of release is healthy for you and I firmly beleive that you become stronger from the experience. Stay strong and know you have support here. God Bless - Tracey

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