Think I just need a hug

JDuke
JDuke Member Posts: 438
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I will be honest, I am feeling blue. I know I can come here and get my spirits lifted back up. So I am.

I went today for my surgical consult regarding a liver resection for my anal cancer metastases. I was anxious to meet the surgeon, Dr. Malafa, Head of Tumor Surgery, Moffitt/Tampa. I really liked him. I will give you a little review...PET 10/09 showed liver met. Sought second opinion at Moffitt. Decided to have treatment there. Repeat PET and 3-level CT 12/09. Tumor a little smaller than first thought 1.6 cm. Scans showed nothing else of any concern. Resection scheduled for 2/5 if appointment with surgeon results in my being deemed a candidate. I went to the appt. today full of anticipation that I would be a candidate and that I would have the surgery and move on. Well...Dr. Malafa told me that the scans indicate that the tumor is in the "worst possible place". It is located BEHIND the main vein in the middle of my liver. He said it will be a very serious and delicate surgery. They want to rule out the possibility that the tumor has attached itself to the vein. He has ordered another CT with a special contrast and an MRI. I am still "penciled in" for the surgery on 2/5.

I felt like I had been socked in the gut. I don't really have an explanation for it. Nothing has really changed from yesterday...when I was feeling great, eager to get this show on the road and moving on with my life. However, what keeps repeating itself in my mind is:
1. rare cancer
2. even rarer for the rare cancer to metastasize
3. rare metastases of the rare cancer in the worst possible place

UUUGGGHHH!!!!Thanks for being here to let me vent. I know tomorrow will be brighter.
Blessings to you all,
Joanne

Comments

  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #2
    Joanne, here's that hug
    Joanne, here's that hug {{{Joanne}}} and since I know you're a Christian, a verse. :o)

    Matthew 19:26 And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

    Jeremiah 32:17 'Ah Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You,

    Now let's pray the tumor is not in attached to that vein!
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #3
    Praying
    Joanne,

    I'm sorry you are having so much worry about all this. It's nice to be unique, but I'm sure you didn't have this kind of thing in mind. I will be praying that the doctors will be able to take care of this, and that you will soon be on your way to good health.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • snommintj
    snommintj Member Posts: 601
    #4
    embolization
    I had a met in the same place. I had a bland embolization and it's been gone for 6 months. Bland embolization is the same as chemo embolization but with out the chemo. Look into it. I had 2 liver resection and was cancer free for less than 2 months both times. in my book, I wish I would would have had embo first and avoided the 2 resections
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #5
    A man that I worked with ....
    had a rare type of blood cancer that only 500 cases were reported . He is past the 5 year free mark now and is doing fine so rare doesn't mean incurable....It simply means rare...metastasis means simply another place for the rare cancer to be...and you don't know if its in the worst possible place yet or not.

    Rare , if you think of it like this , seems to me is a new type that may have just emerged as a mutant cell, as a new, rare specimen it may be that smaller amounts of treatment will kick its butt...completely....so you have that on your side. Also the tumor is already smaller just by changing Drs. Thats always a plus...and if there is anyway that you are operable it feels to me that this new Dr is certainly on the starting block ready for a green light. It sounds as though things will gear up very soon for you..Smile young lady, you wear it so well.......Love and Hope to you also......Buzz

    O and {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs to ya}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    #6
    {{{{{hugs}}}}}}
    {{{{{hugs}}}}}}

    Leslie
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #7
    Scans
    Joanne -

    As happy as I am to hear you got a second opinion, don't stop
    there if things get "sticky". Get a third and even a fourth opinion,
    and get them from other areas whenever possible.

    The scans can indicate different size "spots", even when taken
    on the same machine. When the machine scans, it takes the scan
    on a specific angle. A lot depends on the accuracy in the way the
    machine's calibrated, and a ton on the ability of the technician.
    The bare facts are, that machines aren't aligned exactly the same.

    So, an awful lot depends on the ability of the doctor reading the
    scans, and the doctors ability to discern real or memorex....

    There have been scans that have indicated multiple "spots", that
    managed to totally disappear in subsequent scans. It -is not- a perfect
    technology, and if the results are about to be acted upon without
    further "exploration" and investigation, it may be worthwhile to
    seek other opinions first (well, it always is anyway).

    Remember..... an "opinion" is just that: an opinion. Doctors are
    only human.


    Good thoughts and better health!
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #8
    ((hug))
    That's a big hug for you from the great white north (Canada) where we know how to hug to stay warm!
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #9
    (((((((JOANNE)))))))
    (((((((JOANNE))))))

    -Craig
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #10
    Sending BIG dutch hugs!!!!!!
    I'm sorry the air came out of your bubble...but, on the bright side, he DID 'pencil' you in...so all is not lost....

    The special ride that cancer gives us is, sadly, filled with ups and downs, some large, some small...

    We are here, sweat soul....

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #11
    Hugs and More
    Joanne, sorry for this bump in the road for you, but keep the faith. It is always difficult to have geared ourselves up for the next step and then have new news which puts it all in question again. Unfortunately, some of us become experts at picking ourselves up, dusting ourselves off, and starting the positive mental process again.

    It is fortunate that your doc found things he questions before surgery, and wants more confirmation before going ahead. This gives him time to do his homework, get other input from specialists and work up a plan....better than making hard choices on the fly.

    Hugs in bunches for you...prayers too.

    Marie
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522 Member
    #12
    Hi Joanne,you are in my
    Hi Joanne,you are in my prayers and I hope the scan will show you are still the candidate for the surgery.Good luck with it.Hugsssss.Take care.
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533 Member
    #13
    Cyber Hug
    One great big TIGHT hug coming your way.


    -Sheri
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #14
    luv3jay said:

    Cyber Hug
    One great big TIGHT hug coming your way.


    -Sheri

    My Arms....
    Are wrapped around you and you are in my prayers sisters! Don't despair, just get up fighting with everything you got!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946 Member
    #15
    Joanne, plenty of cyber hugs
    Joanne, plenty of cyber hugs and thoughts going your way.
  • AceSFO
    AceSFO Member Posts: 229
    #16
    Dear Joanne
    sending you big hugs and lots of strength and love.

    Hang in there!

    xoxox
    Adrian
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #17
    {{{{Hugs}}}}
    Here is a big hug for the big scan. Scary stuff to be sure, but at least you are still penciled in for surgery. Hopefully, the surgeon will be able to come up with some answers for you if surgery is not one of them, at this time. Take care - Tina
  • lcarper2
    lcarper2 Member Posts: 635 Member
    #18
    geotina said:

    {{{{Hugs}}}}
    Here is a big hug for the big scan. Scary stuff to be sure, but at least you are still penciled in for surgery. Hopefully, the surgeon will be able to come up with some answers for you if surgery is not one of them, at this time. Take care - Tina

    hugs
    Diane had good scriptures read them over and over nothing is imposible we are praying that you get the word that it is not attached to that mian vain and everything will be fine.
  • lizdeli
    lizdeli Member Posts: 569 Member
    #19
    Sending you hugs
    Hi Joanne,
    Sending you hugs and praying for you.
    God bless,
    Liz

Discussion Boards