Is It Just Me, Or, Has Anyone Else Missed Going To Radiation Treatments?

2

Comments

  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #22
    I understand how you're feeling
    I had some of these feelings, too. I knew that I was being taken care of during my cancer treatments. I also knew that the chance of the cancer coming back while in treatment was very slim. After treatment, it's kind of a like an abyss. You worry about recurrence. You worry that every pain and ache means that cancer has returned with a vengence. It's not easy and you feel alone sometimes. We get it. Hang in there.
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
    #23
    Megan, I feel the same way
    Megan, I feel the same way about my oncologist. The rads team not so much. I have 7 more boosters to go. I have to be on Herceptin every 3 weeks until Oct. so I'm not at the panic point yet but with the treatments winding down I feel a bit lost.

    Traci, thank you for referring that book. I went onto Barns and Nobel website and read the forward in it. I will have to pick it up. As they say knowledge is power.
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181 Member
    #24
    Hi Megan.
    I just done my last rads. today.I think I will miss the routin.Like you I am glad their done.But this has been our life for awhile now.I have some things I been wanting to get done,so I am going to try to stay buisy.Hopefully that will help.Good luck,love and Prayers.(Pat).
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #25
    Abandonment
    Ill feel the same way and my last one was today. I graduated w honors. lol But now what. I get Herceptin every 2 wks, so maybe I'll wonder over to rads and they'll let me at least lay on the table. I think I need help! Katz
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #26
    Katz77 said:

    Abandonment
    Ill feel the same way and my last one was today. I graduated w honors. lol But now what. I get Herceptin every 2 wks, so maybe I'll wonder over to rads and they'll let me at least lay on the table. I think I need help! Katz

    That's funny
    Katz! Hoping they'll let you lay on the table...!
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #27
    Katz77 said:

    Abandonment
    Ill feel the same way and my last one was today. I graduated w honors. lol But now what. I get Herceptin every 2 wks, so maybe I'll wonder over to rads and they'll let me at least lay on the table. I think I need help! Katz

    ROFLMAO
    I think that is the funniest thing I have ever read Katz! Thanks for the big laugh!

    I do hope they let you lay on the table some. Think they would let me too? lol

    Sue :)
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #28
    Sher43009 said:

    Megan, I feel the same way
    Megan, I feel the same way about my oncologist. The rads team not so much. I have 7 more boosters to go. I have to be on Herceptin every 3 weeks until Oct. so I'm not at the panic point yet but with the treatments winding down I feel a bit lost.

    Traci, thank you for referring that book. I went onto Barns and Nobel website and read the forward in it. I will have to pick it up. As they say knowledge is power.

    I missed it so much that I
    I missed it so much that I keep stopping by to see everyone. We went to their xmas party and had a blast! Like everyone said, I really felt very safe there, so, now I have to find a new safe. Praying that you feel better Megan.

    Angie
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #29
    Ritzy said:

    ROFLMAO
    I think that is the funniest thing I have ever read Katz! Thanks for the big laugh!

    I do hope they let you lay on the table some. Think they would let me too? lol

    Sue :)

    Katz, You gave me an idea.
    Katz,

    You gave me an idea. For those that miss the rads and many of us do for whatever reasons, we could put a flood light in the ceiling fan, put the kitchen table under the ceiling fan if it is not there already, lay on the kitchen table with one or both arms above our heads and play a CD. If we need to have some make believe staff, we can ask our husbands, best friends or relatives to stand in for them. They can position us, then leave the room for a few minutes. I call it virtual radiation treatment. LOL
    Seriously, I know for me that rads meant I was actively doing something to kill the cancer. After treatments end, even when you are on the meds, it's like you aren't working at the cure.
    If anyone tries this, let me know how it worked out. Like whether they had you committed or just laughed their a55e5 off at you.
    Stef
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #30
    fauxma said:

    Katz, You gave me an idea.
    Katz,

    You gave me an idea. For those that miss the rads and many of us do for whatever reasons, we could put a flood light in the ceiling fan, put the kitchen table under the ceiling fan if it is not there already, lay on the kitchen table with one or both arms above our heads and play a CD. If we need to have some make believe staff, we can ask our husbands, best friends or relatives to stand in for them. They can position us, then leave the room for a few minutes. I call it virtual radiation treatment. LOL
    Seriously, I know for me that rads meant I was actively doing something to kill the cancer. After treatments end, even when you are on the meds, it's like you aren't working at the cure.
    If anyone tries this, let me know how it worked out. Like whether they had you committed or just laughed their a55e5 off at you.
    Stef

    Stef
    that is too funny! Thanks!
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #31
    outdoorgirl said:

    Stef
    that is too funny! Thanks!

    I have these moments and
    I have these moments and then stuff just pops into my head. My husband used to ask me how many moons there were in my world? Not sure, but it is a lovely place. I pretended a lot as a child and I suppose I never outgrew it. I know that JJ and I pretend alot. One favorite is pirates. His bed is the boat, the area rug an island and the floor the ocean. We have to watch for sharks and octopi and other dangers. We try to get Jo to join us but she is always walking around the ocean so we made her a mermaid. She does follow us when we swim down the hall though. Imagination is a wonderful thing. WHen I am really, really old, like 99 I will lose myself in my imagination and be 16 again. At least I hope so.
    Stef
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #32
    Katz77 said:

    Abandonment
    Ill feel the same way and my last one was today. I graduated w honors. lol But now what. I get Herceptin every 2 wks, so maybe I'll wonder over to rads and they'll let me at least lay on the table. I think I need help! Katz

    Felt abandoned too :(
    I missed rads too Megan. It is weird to see almost everyone write the same thing. I wonder if it is because rads were our last big treatment, and, then we felt abandoned? My techs stay in touch with me. If I don't stop by every now and then, they send me a little card. You will feel better once more time goes by. I do love Katz idea! LOL

    Hugs, Leeza
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #33
    MAJW said:

    End of Rads.....
    Terri, I think we all experience this to some degree or another.....It's like most have said...you have spent weeks and some of us months, with chemo and then rads, doing everything we can to kill the beast and reduce it's chances of coming back. Them BOOM! It's over for us, other than the ones who must take, Tamox./and other drugs for a number of years....I'm not one of those. I actually had a meltdown in my radiation oncologist's office one week before completing rads...I sobbed and by nature I am not one to cry often......he was so wonderful! He said these feelings are perfectly normal, that he'd be more concerned if I didn't experience these feelings...That it was going to take time to heal, physically and mentally........that each one has to find a "new normal" for ourselves.......I've worked really hard on that one.......I finished chemo the end of August and rads the 2nd of Nov.....I think having the holidays to concentrate on helped a lot.....

    I feel ALMOST normal again......My hair is now about an inch long..I'm chucking the wig!...my eyelashes have returned so those things are not a constant reminder every time I look in the mirror...My boobs almost match now......my rads tan has faded greatly!!!!(I had a lumpectomy) My energy has returned, for the most part......I am back to doing all that I did before the beast reared it's ugly head last March......OF course bc stays in my mind, but not like it did before...I've made a conscience decision to NOT let it ruin my today and tomorrows........I start the "checkups" next week.......4 in the month of Jan.......but I have had a two month reprieve, and that's been wonderful and I am grateful.....Being grateful for even the smallest of things have helped me so much......Every day I remind myself of what I am grateful for....All we can do is go on living the best way we know how.....Each of us must find out for ourselves what that is.........
    I wish you the very best.......and ALL going through this....
    Peace be with you
    Nancy

    Thank you Nancy. You are
    Thank you Nancy. You are right, it is like BOOM, you are done, so, now what? Hope you are doing well.

    Megan
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #34
    fauxma said:

    I have these moments and
    I have these moments and then stuff just pops into my head. My husband used to ask me how many moons there were in my world? Not sure, but it is a lovely place. I pretended a lot as a child and I suppose I never outgrew it. I know that JJ and I pretend alot. One favorite is pirates. His bed is the boat, the area rug an island and the floor the ocean. We have to watch for sharks and octopi and other dangers. We try to get Jo to join us but she is always walking around the ocean so we made her a mermaid. She does follow us when we swim down the hall though. Imagination is a wonderful thing. WHen I am really, really old, like 99 I will lose myself in my imagination and be 16 again. At least I hope so.
    Stef

    Stef,
    I bet you are a lot of fun to be with!
  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    #35
    Sher43009 said:

    Megan, I feel the same way
    Megan, I feel the same way about my oncologist. The rads team not so much. I have 7 more boosters to go. I have to be on Herceptin every 3 weeks until Oct. so I'm not at the panic point yet but with the treatments winding down I feel a bit lost.

    Traci, thank you for referring that book. I went onto Barns and Nobel website and read the forward in it. I will have to pick it up. As they say knowledge is power.

    Thanks Sher and Mimi
    You are almost done Sher! I didn't have chemo, so, I don't know how I would have felt about the nurses giving me chemo, but, it is obvious that we do become quite attached when we are in for long treatment.

    Thanks Mimi. I know it may sound strange, but, it is helpful to know that others feel the same way as I do. I didn't think that I was just being stupid or nuts.

    Megan
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #36
    fauxma said:

    Katz, You gave me an idea.
    Katz,

    You gave me an idea. For those that miss the rads and many of us do for whatever reasons, we could put a flood light in the ceiling fan, put the kitchen table under the ceiling fan if it is not there already, lay on the kitchen table with one or both arms above our heads and play a CD. If we need to have some make believe staff, we can ask our husbands, best friends or relatives to stand in for them. They can position us, then leave the room for a few minutes. I call it virtual radiation treatment. LOL
    Seriously, I know for me that rads meant I was actively doing something to kill the cancer. After treatments end, even when you are on the meds, it's like you aren't working at the cure.
    If anyone tries this, let me know how it worked out. Like whether they had you committed or just laughed their a55e5 off at you.
    Stef

    Stef, you need help. :-)
    I can't breathe, I'm laughing so hard....

    My only challenge with your idea, Stef, is that my radiation center had cheesey taped muzak in the treatment room that played THE SAME 4 SONGS over and over and over and over....

    So, to recreate my radiation experience, I'd need to not only get someone to scold me about errant stickers while I'm lying on my kitchen table (oh, and someone would also have to wave a laser pointer around to simulate the lasers shooting out of the wall and ceiling), but I'd also have to get my hands on muzak versions of "You've Got a Friend," "Groovy Kind of Love," "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," and "Beauty and the Beast."

    Do you think someone from your planet could help me with that? :-)

    Traci
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #37
    TraciInLA said:

    Stef, you need help. :-)
    I can't breathe, I'm laughing so hard....

    My only challenge with your idea, Stef, is that my radiation center had cheesey taped muzak in the treatment room that played THE SAME 4 SONGS over and over and over and over....

    So, to recreate my radiation experience, I'd need to not only get someone to scold me about errant stickers while I'm lying on my kitchen table (oh, and someone would also have to wave a laser pointer around to simulate the lasers shooting out of the wall and ceiling), but I'd also have to get my hands on muzak versions of "You've Got a Friend," "Groovy Kind of Love," "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," and "Beauty and the Beast."

    Do you think someone from your planet could help me with that? :-)

    Traci

    TraciI love the person with
    Traci

    I love the idea of the person with the laser pointer. That will so add to recreating the experience. And someone should say occasionally, Are you doing okay? Almost done. We're finished. I can't remember the music they played but I am sure we can get the cheesy music. Were those songs supposed to be uplifting. Maybe the first day, but over and over, Ugh. You will need a full staff to recreate your joyful experience. I like the sticker scolder. I know what you can do, get one of those rocker socker bopper clowns and tape a note on it, (Why can't you leave the d**n stickers in place?) Then when you are done with your kitchen table experience go over and sock it in the face. That should make your psuedo experience so much better than the real thing. Hope this helped.
    Stef
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #38
    tasha_111 said:

    Chemo Rads???????
    I felt a VOID after both of them, More Rads as that was the end of my active treatment.... I don't think I'll feel a void at the end of the tamoxifen LOL......... It's normal, they are such great people and great support, you are bound to miss them................. Also what you are feeling about recurrence is absolutely normal and understandable now that your safety-net is no longer there. I wish you only the best Megan. Jxxxxxxxxx

    Safe
    You are just like all of the rest of us Megan. Rads were my last treatment too and I really didn't want to stop going. I had grown so close to everyone there and felt safe, as the others said. It will take time, but, you will start to feel less anxious about rads being over. Come on here and talk to us. We will guide you thru this.

    Lex♥
  • Katz77
    Katz77 Member Posts: 598
    #39
    Ritzy said:

    ROFLMAO
    I think that is the funniest thing I have ever read Katz! Thanks for the big laugh!

    I do hope they let you lay on the table some. Think they would let me too? lol

    Sue :)

    Table
    It never hurts to ask.
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #40
    fauxma said:

    TraciI love the person with
    Traci

    I love the idea of the person with the laser pointer. That will so add to recreating the experience. And someone should say occasionally, Are you doing okay? Almost done. We're finished. I can't remember the music they played but I am sure we can get the cheesy music. Were those songs supposed to be uplifting. Maybe the first day, but over and over, Ugh. You will need a full staff to recreate your joyful experience. I like the sticker scolder. I know what you can do, get one of those rocker socker bopper clowns and tape a note on it, (Why can't you leave the d**n stickers in place?) Then when you are done with your kitchen table experience go over and sock it in the face. That should make your psuedo experience so much better than the real thing. Hope this helped.
    Stef

    That's hilarious you
    guys! I love it all!!
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    #41
    outdoorgirl said:

    Stef
    that is too funny! Thanks!

    LOL Stef!

    LOL Stef!

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