What does this mean?

ppurdin said:

Hi Graci.
Strange you had this happen to you,when I went to church Sunday,I decided not to wear my wig.I wore a real warm knitted hat.Like you I have not went to church real often since my treatments started. When I did I always have my wig on.Somedays I am in a different mood and get kind of tired of hiding my almost bald head.I have about an inch of peach fuss.besides the hat felt good it was cold outside here in Ohio.But I got the most pitiful looks.Alot of how are you doing.Most was ok,but some made me feel like they thought I was going to die any minute.I want to think they meen well.And if not they can answer to God for it.Take care,I often wonder how you are.I have 3 more boost treatments and I am done I pray.Take care,try not to let people get you down.I know it is hard but you can do it.Love and Prayers (Pat).

Yeah, I think people expect
Yeah, I think people expect us to be sickly and weak and when when we look robust and healthy it is disconcerting. I had a girlfriend call and say"wow, you sound great for someone with cancer"...uh duh....I'm done with surgery,done with chemo, done with rads...why wouldn't I feel great? My inlaws bought me clothes for Christmas 2 sizes smaller then I wore last year, I guess expecting me to be skeletal from the treatments.Imagine their surprise to see that I actually gained 20 lbs!It's just this incorrect perception that cancer equals dibilitating illness.

LadyParvati said:

Getting used to it?
"Oh, yes, and I'm wondering--are you getting used to your lack of brains?"

HMMMMMPH!

Sandy! (A little venting is good for the soul!)

Love it, Sandy!
I would also have tried, "Oh? Getting used to what?" Then the person is put in the position of having to actually think about what she said.

Mimi

m_azingrace said:

In the past I have not had
In the past I have not had trouble coming up with a fast retort. But since my Dx, I tend to be a lot quieter in that regard. Even though the comment bothered me, I had no desire to return the pain to her. Do you suppose our cancer makes us want to be kinder to others?

Yes, I think so. For me
Yes, I think so. For me anyway. We all have our troubles and some people don't show theirs but they have them too.

mimivac said:

Love it, Sandy!
I would also have tried, "Oh? Getting used to what?" Then the person is put in the position of having to actually think about what she said.

Mimi

I have also found that I
I have also found that I seem to have less patience since I got the diagnosis of bc. I am hoping that once I can get past treatments and onto a "normal" life, that I will gain more patience. I am so sorry Gracie for what that stupid woman said. I found that just looking at people when they make a dumb statement and staying quiet works too. They get uncomfortable really fast. LOL I know that you will get past her stupidity as you are a strong, intelligent woman!

Debby

We have often spoke of the
We have often spoke of the things that people say... some seem insensitive, others rude... mostly I just think people are clueless.... absolutely clueless.... last month at a company christmas party our HR person (who made me file fmla papers)... said.. "You don't look sick"... then I thought to myself as I walked away... what does cancer look like...

Sometimes I get irritated, angry... then I realize they are just ignorant.. (just meaning lack of knowledge)... and I hope that they can remain that way...

Does that make sense?

Hugs,
~T