looking for a word
What are some other ways we can be referred to other than 'survivors'? I value that label, but it smacks of being a victim of something (we are!) but I'd like to put a more positive spin on the label. I like 'warriors' because of the strength that implies, and, although we can be in a fight for our lives against this beast called breast cancer, the word seems... violent.
Has anyone else heard of a good label that brings to mind power, strength, courage, light, etc.? When someone talks to me about being a 'survivor', I hear far too much pity in that for my comfort. I am not 'pitiable' (is that a word?)! I am facing fear day by day, moment by moment, that they may not understand. I am strong, but need comfort.
Is there a word for such feelings/being?
Comments
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I consider myself to be a "thriver".
Hi crselby,
I know what you mean about the word survivor. I think it takes the will of a survivor to get through all the stages of treatments. Once that was behind me, I went on to thrive. I make the most of each day and take excellent care of myself. I have also learned to say "no" when I don't want to do something and take time for myself. I wish I never had cancer, but I'm thriving in spite of the experience. Hope you are, too.
Roseann0 -
I feel the same way aboutroseann4 said:I consider myself to be a "thriver".
Hi crselby,
I know what you mean about the word survivor. I think it takes the will of a survivor to get through all the stages of treatments. Once that was behind me, I went on to thrive. I make the most of each day and take excellent care of myself. I have also learned to say "no" when I don't want to do something and take time for myself. I wish I never had cancer, but I'm thriving in spite of the experience. Hope you are, too.
Roseann
I feel the same way about being a "survivor". My problem is how do you ever know if you really survived cancer. My mother was told she was a survivor yet she died from BC. And I still don't like the color pink because of what it symbolizes to me personally. Please forgive me if I offend anyone. Maybe I'll feel different after I get away from all the surgery and treatments and can really say "I survived all that". Interested if there is another word someone comes up with, you got me thinking. Maybe "Overcomer". Naw!0 -
I like the questionSunrae said:I feel the same way about
I feel the same way about being a "survivor". My problem is how do you ever know if you really survived cancer. My mother was told she was a survivor yet she died from BC. And I still don't like the color pink because of what it symbolizes to me personally. Please forgive me if I offend anyone. Maybe I'll feel different after I get away from all the surgery and treatments and can really say "I survived all that". Interested if there is another word someone comes up with, you got me thinking. Maybe "Overcomer". Naw!
and we should really put our clever little chemo brains to it and come up with something
that says yes I had cancer ...so what???!!!!0 -
Overcomer!dyaneb123 said:I like the question
and we should really put our clever little chemo brains to it and come up with something
that says yes I had cancer ...so what???!!!!
I have met head on~ the diagnosis, the decisions, the pain, the reality, the future (and it's bright). And I won't let cancer get me down. My faith has been what has lifted my head when it tries to droop!
M0 -
Ditto Greeneyed Girl--I saidGreeneyedGirl said:Overcomer!
I have met head on~ the diagnosis, the decisions, the pain, the reality, the future (and it's bright). And I won't let cancer get me down. My faith has been what has lifted my head when it tries to droop!
M
Ditto Greeneyed Girl--I said the word "overcomer" and there it was posted by you. I need your overcoming attitude today. chemo and nausea have me down this weekend. I want to quit, have 4 more to go and know I just need to pray for more faith and strength. My body is sick of being sick and tired. I'm in the dumps today and feeling sorry for myself. The tears have been flowing and although I'm not alone, I feel alone today with these chemo side effects. I want it to be over, and I have more to go.0 -
Flamingo
I have a couple of friend who are survivor's. The first friend was given a "hat shower" from her sister-in-laws to be. Everyone brought a nice hat or scarf as a gift. This went over so well with her but it is not the type of shower you want to surprise anyone with. When my other friend announced she had BC I asked if she would be interested in a hat shower. After thinking about it for a while she decided she loved the idea. At this shower there were funny hats as well as nice hats and sporty hats. She would wear the funny hats to chemo and get people laughing, She ran with this idea and has developed an organization called "Flamingo's for Hope". You can check this out at www.harpershope.org if interested in learning more. Flamingos stands for; Friends Laughing, Achieving Miracles, Inspiring and Nurturing Gifts, Offering Smiles.0 -
Natly, Just a quick note tonatly15 said:Ditto Greeneyed Girl--I said
Ditto Greeneyed Girl--I said the word "overcomer" and there it was posted by you. I need your overcoming attitude today. chemo and nausea have me down this weekend. I want to quit, have 4 more to go and know I just need to pray for more faith and strength. My body is sick of being sick and tired. I'm in the dumps today and feeling sorry for myself. The tears have been flowing and although I'm not alone, I feel alone today with these chemo side effects. I want it to be over, and I have more to go.
Natly, Just a quick note to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending you a cyber hug. You've made it half-way. I wish it could be over for you, too...but since it's not, just know that you have lots of friends here pulling for you.
xoxoxoxo Lynn0 -
Thank you Lynn--the tearslynn1950 said:Natly, Just a quick note to
Natly, Just a quick note to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending you a cyber hug. You've made it half-way. I wish it could be over for you, too...but since it's not, just know that you have lots of friends here pulling for you.
xoxoxoxo Lynn
Thank you Lynn--the tears just dont seem to stop these past few days-I'll take that cyber hug for sure. Everything is tasting and smelling like chemo to me. Everyone seems to think I'm doing just fine, but they havent a clue as to what I'm going thru physically and emotionally. i dont want pity, I guess I wish people could unjderstand what this really is. If my voice sounds strong on the phone they think I'm doing great, and I dont want to sound like a sobbing baby and tell them even tho my voice may sound strong today, I'm not.0 -
natly15 you are not alonenatly15 said:Thank you Lynn--the tears
Thank you Lynn--the tears just dont seem to stop these past few days-I'll take that cyber hug for sure. Everything is tasting and smelling like chemo to me. Everyone seems to think I'm doing just fine, but they havent a clue as to what I'm going thru physically and emotionally. i dont want pity, I guess I wish people could unjderstand what this really is. If my voice sounds strong on the phone they think I'm doing great, and I dont want to sound like a sobbing baby and tell them even tho my voice may sound strong today, I'm not.
most have us have been there or are there. As lame as it sounds you will get past this too!
So how about doing something for yourself today?
Play a pc game, go to the library, a museum, or if you have good weather just outside for awhile and enjoy the day! Watch stupid silly tv shows.
Call a friend and tell her/him, I feel like crap and need you to talk to!
I'll listen!
Peace0 -
How about person that had cancer?
I rarely call myself a survivor any more, almost 5 years totally cancer free. If pressed, I say well, I got the 2-fer...and am a walking miracle, considering I was projected to die almost 4 years ago. I was amazed on the cruise how many people had had cancer. We talked about 'on deck for the cure', and that brought up how we each had been touched...one gal in the jacuzzi had had cervical cancer 6 years earlier, for instance. We now are a part of the 'stealth survivors' group...we don't look like we were as sick as we were, only a look at our bulging 4-inch medical charts can reveal the horrors....
But, in defense of the word survivor....it strengthen my resolve to get thru the mess, when I was going thru the mess. I held my bald head up proudly, and stated 'I am a survivor!!!'. I suppose that is why the standard is that you are given that term from the day of diagnosis.
Also, it has so many levels...surviving a surgery, surviving chemo, surviving rads...sort of like a soldier surviving a battle, that may or may not survive the entire war...
That's my 2 cents...but, there is no rule that you must buy into it...so, again, how about just a person 'who was sick'?
Hugs to a very brave group of sisters, whatever you call yourselves...
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Natly, It is a good thingnatly15 said:Thank you Lynn--the tears
Thank you Lynn--the tears just dont seem to stop these past few days-I'll take that cyber hug for sure. Everything is tasting and smelling like chemo to me. Everyone seems to think I'm doing just fine, but they havent a clue as to what I'm going thru physically and emotionally. i dont want pity, I guess I wish people could unjderstand what this really is. If my voice sounds strong on the phone they think I'm doing great, and I dont want to sound like a sobbing baby and tell them even tho my voice may sound strong today, I'm not.
Natly, It is a good thing that you can cry, even if it may not seem so right now. You are grieving. And people who haven't been in your shoes react similarly to how they would react if you were mourning the death of a loved one. Initially, they bring food and share their presence with you, even when they don't know what to say; over time many people drift away, figuring that you are getting on with your life. And you want to appear strong so that no one worries about you unnecessarily.
Counseling and meditation, among other tools, helped me process all this stuff. I have spoken to individuals and in front of a group about this grieving process with cancer. People have asked me if I could back, what I would change. I have to say that I wouldn't change anything, even if recurrence happens tomorrow. My life and faith are so much stronger now for having gone through all this sh*t! It has helped me to be a more peaceful person.
I know that this is hard for you to see now. There's no way that I could have seen 17 months ago while I was in the middle of chemo.
Hang in there. I know it hurts really bad right now.
xoxoxoxo Lynn0 -
How aboutKathiM said:How about person that had cancer?
I rarely call myself a survivor any more, almost 5 years totally cancer free. If pressed, I say well, I got the 2-fer...and am a walking miracle, considering I was projected to die almost 4 years ago. I was amazed on the cruise how many people had had cancer. We talked about 'on deck for the cure', and that brought up how we each had been touched...one gal in the jacuzzi had had cervical cancer 6 years earlier, for instance. We now are a part of the 'stealth survivors' group...we don't look like we were as sick as we were, only a look at our bulging 4-inch medical charts can reveal the horrors....
But, in defense of the word survivor....it strengthen my resolve to get thru the mess, when I was going thru the mess. I held my bald head up proudly, and stated 'I am a survivor!!!'. I suppose that is why the standard is that you are given that term from the day of diagnosis.
Also, it has so many levels...surviving a surgery, surviving chemo, surviving rads...sort of like a soldier surviving a battle, that may or may not survive the entire war...
That's my 2 cents...but, there is no rule that you must buy into it...so, again, how about just a person 'who was sick'?
Hugs to a very brave group of sisters, whatever you call yourselves...
Hugs, Kathi
Cancer Veteran? Sometimes when I welcome a newbie, I feel like a veteran. I fought the war and survived. If they count you a survivor from diagnosis day, then I'm a 14 month veteran, if they count it from end of treatment, then I'm a 6 month veteran, but either way, I'm we are all veterans of cancer.
Pat0 -
The first word that came uppadee6339 said:How about
Cancer Veteran? Sometimes when I welcome a newbie, I feel like a veteran. I fought the war and survived. If they count you a survivor from diagnosis day, then I'm a 14 month veteran, if they count it from end of treatment, then I'm a 6 month veteran, but either way, I'm we are all veterans of cancer.
Pat
The first word that came up for me was "Overcomer", but then I'm not sure you ever overcome cancer. Its funny, then I thought I guess we're veterans, we fought a battle. Here Pat suggested "Cancer Veteran". I like that.0 -
Words
Interesting. I guess I am somewhat uncomfortable with "survivor," too. I totally know what you mean about the pitying stares. That is one of my absolute pet peeves -- the thought that my life is a source of pity for others -- it's not, so stop your staring! We are all categorized in this life, whether by ourselves or others -- we are "nurturing moms" or "angry liberals" or "cancer survivors." It's a shorthand and it's helpful, but not necessarily all-inclusive because we are so much more. Knowing that I am a cancer survivor tells you only one thing in a million things about me. Now, I just say "I had cancer." Hugs,
Mimi0 -
"Survivor" is an interestingmimivac said:Words
Interesting. I guess I am somewhat uncomfortable with "survivor," too. I totally know what you mean about the pitying stares. That is one of my absolute pet peeves -- the thought that my life is a source of pity for others -- it's not, so stop your staring! We are all categorized in this life, whether by ourselves or others -- we are "nurturing moms" or "angry liberals" or "cancer survivors." It's a shorthand and it's helpful, but not necessarily all-inclusive because we are so much more. Knowing that I am a cancer survivor tells you only one thing in a million things about me. Now, I just say "I had cancer." Hugs,
Mimi
"Survivor" is an interesting concept, ... but to tell the truth, I was labeled with that title years ago... I remember telling one of my sisters about 10 years ago, "I don't want to be a survivor any more... life shouldn't be about surviving, it should be about living".. I live with the dx of cancer, however, cancer is not my life..., I like "Warrior".... which one of the definitions is "A person who shows vigor (active streangth), and courage" and I would be hard pressed for someone to convince me that those of us living with the dx of cancer, whether past, or present, lack either of those qualities.... I chose to say, I am a cancer warrior....
♥ & hugs,
~T0 -
conquerortaleena said:"Survivor" is an interesting
"Survivor" is an interesting concept, ... but to tell the truth, I was labeled with that title years ago... I remember telling one of my sisters about 10 years ago, "I don't want to be a survivor any more... life shouldn't be about surviving, it should be about living".. I live with the dx of cancer, however, cancer is not my life..., I like "Warrior".... which one of the definitions is "A person who shows vigor (active streangth), and courage" and I would be hard pressed for someone to convince me that those of us living with the dx of cancer, whether past, or present, lack either of those qualities.... I chose to say, I am a cancer warrior....
♥ & hugs,
~T
Conqueror!0 -
Thank you for all thelynn1950 said:Natly, It is a good thing
Natly, It is a good thing that you can cry, even if it may not seem so right now. You are grieving. And people who haven't been in your shoes react similarly to how they would react if you were mourning the death of a loved one. Initially, they bring food and share their presence with you, even when they don't know what to say; over time many people drift away, figuring that you are getting on with your life. And you want to appear strong so that no one worries about you unnecessarily.
Counseling and meditation, among other tools, helped me process all this stuff. I have spoken to individuals and in front of a group about this grieving process with cancer. People have asked me if I could back, what I would change. I have to say that I wouldn't change anything, even if recurrence happens tomorrow. My life and faith are so much stronger now for having gone through all this sh*t! It has helped me to be a more peaceful person.
I know that this is hard for you to see now. There's no way that I could have seen 17 months ago while I was in the middle of chemo.
Hang in there. I know it hurts really bad right now.
xoxoxoxo Lynn
Thank you for all the encouragement. A BC survivor, warrior, conqueror, overcomer called me today and I must say that along with all the comments here and from her I'm doing much better emotionally tonight. She answered a few questions regarding my chemo, and gave me permission to cry and feel lousy. I guess I needed a parent today and God sent a few. Thank you ladies.0
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