feeling down

damama24
damama24 Member Posts: 174 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I had chemo yesterday and my onc stopped the oxi for awhile and is giving me a month break from chemo over the holidays. That was all good news. But when I asked if I was a candidate for surgery she shook her head no and said I have to much lymph node involvement and the cancer to advanced. This news was hard to take I cried all the way home. I want to remain positive and hope I can beat this thing but that news was a slap in the face. She explained that it didn't mean i would die just that we need to manage my cancer like a chronic diesease until better trearments come along. I'm seeing a counselor next to week to help me deal. Sorry I sound so negative but right now I'm hurting. Deb

Comments

  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #2
    Hi Deb
    At the start of our journey, our onc said the same thing to George and I, but, he was a bit more sensitive about it. When I asked about any surgical options he said no. He then added, if we have a good response to chemo (which we did) he has every reason to believe that George will be around for a good long time. In the future, you never know, there might be something for him but at the present time it was not a possibility. He was being honest at the time laying his cards out on the table for us. We were down, of course, that is human. But, now I look at it different, with each good blood test, each good response to the chemo, each good CT test we celebrate the good news. So go ahead and have yourself a good pity party, a full blown freakout if you must, then pick yourself up and take it one day at a time. Take care and sendng strong thoughts your way - Tina
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #3
    So Sorry!
    What awful news to hear, though it sounds alot like my situation. They are treating it like a chronic disease, like diabetes, but to me, with all that is out there, there HAS to be something, I know there are people out there who were in our situation, who are still here, and have had things done for them..don't give up, keep looking, that's what I'm going to do starting next year at Sloan or MD Anderson, I just want to be sure that's what she thinks, and can't rest till I know there is something else...don't lose hope, just keep searching for other options and opinions!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252 Member
    #4
    Deb
    I'm sorry for the hard news. Glad you get a break for the holidays though! It will help you get your strength up and be ready to fight again.

    We are all entitled to our bad days. Go ahead and let it all out! Better days are coming. I am glad you are going to a counselor - that should be of help to you.

    Managing a chronic disease is good - it is better than saying it can't be managed. For now you manage it, until you are at a point where there is a prodedure you can do to try and beat it completely. Many people have done this with success.

    Hang in there! It is hard, but just give yourself permission to rant and cry and do whatever you need to do today, so that tomorrow you can jump back in the fight.
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #5
    Sorry
    Sorry for the bad news,just let it out,then enjoy the holidays.Relax,and be ready to start fighting all over again.Don't ever give up,there is always hope.I'll pray for you.
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #6
    DEB.......
    "She explained that it didn't mean i would die just that we need to manage my cancer like a chronic disease until better treatments come along."

    Stability is what is being reached here. Then holding until there is a better option for you. That's how we manuever with the disease. We dip and dodge the disease until we find something that takes it away.

    The statement she made about not being a candidate for surgery doesn't mean "ever", it means not right now, and new meds and treatments are popping up every day. Take the news you got and render it down and pull out all of the positive in it and go with that. It being,

    1. Your not going to die, your simply inoperable right now. right now being the root words

    2. Managing the disease as a chronic disease until better treatments come along. That tells me that she has every inkling of positively assuring that you'll be around when the treatments get better.

    3. One more thing,I ask my Dr if I was a candidate for surgery to make me better looking...His reply was...son, Im a doctor, not a miracle worker.......

    4. Its Christmas Deb, its a time of sitting back and enjoying everything around you, to dwell in everything good, and to forget the bad or at least put it aside for a while. Melt yourself away in the joys of this holiday season and give you and your body and mind the rest it wants and deserves. Know that in here you can find Peace, Love, and Happiness at the simple click of the mouse........Love and Hope, Clift
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #7
    Sorry
    I'm so sorry that you got this news. Don't ever give up hope for something to come along or for your treatments to completely turn your situation around. They wouldn't be giving you the chemo if they didn't think there was hope - that is exactly what they are expecting. Something could come around in January and you might be responding well. Managing your diagnosis is like others have said and you - a chronic disease. It is still manageable.

    Kim
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #8
    Sorry
    I'm so sorry. I would be down, too, if I were told that. But please don't give up. You never know what new treatments will be developed that might change your whole picture. I hope you will be able to enjoy the holiday season.

    I'll be praying for you.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #9
    I am sorry you had that
    I am sorry you had that news. I have heard many stories about people who were told they were inoperable, then became operable after chemo &/or radiation. All of those people likely had very similar feelings to you. You have to tell yourself you will be one of those people. I keep reminding myself of what my surgeon said - this is a marathon, not a sprint.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #10
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • damama24
    damama24 Member Posts: 174 Member
    #11
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    feeling down
    Thank you so much for your positive words.I'm trying real hard to stay positive and coming here to this forum helps alot. I'm going to enjoy my month off chemo especially the oxi and try to enjoy christmas with my family. Again thank you all for being here for me. Merry Christmas To All. DEB
  • grammadebbie
    grammadebbie Member Posts: 464
    #12
    damama24 said:

    feeling down
    Thank you so much for your positive words.I'm trying real hard to stay positive and coming here to this forum helps alot. I'm going to enjoy my month off chemo especially the oxi and try to enjoy christmas with my family. Again thank you all for being here for me. Merry Christmas To All. DEB

    Merry Christmas
    Dear Deb,

    I truly can understand your feelings. Sometimes its hard to stay positive but you are doing the right thing by coming here and sharing. I have and will continue to pray for you. Have a Blessed Christmas.

    God Bless You,

    Debbie (gramma)
  • Sigma34
    Sigma34 Member Posts: 203
    #13
    grammadebbie said:

    Merry Christmas
    Dear Deb,

    I truly can understand your feelings. Sometimes its hard to stay positive but you are doing the right thing by coming here and sharing. I have and will continue to pray for you. Have a Blessed Christmas.

    God Bless You,

    Debbie (gramma)

    I am sorry Deb, I feel the
    I am sorry Deb, I feel the same way at times. It is a frightening journey but I tell you what, I LOVE what Buzzard wrote! He always has an amazing way of bringing hope and reality to everyone. This site is great place to talk about what you are feeling, isn't it. (everyone brings a feeling of comfort and peace)

    Christine
  • Holdtight
    Holdtight Member Posts: 151
    #14
    Sigma34 said:

    I am sorry Deb, I feel the
    I am sorry Deb, I feel the same way at times. It is a frightening journey but I tell you what, I LOVE what Buzzard wrote! He always has an amazing way of bringing hope and reality to everyone. This site is great place to talk about what you are feeling, isn't it. (everyone brings a feeling of comfort and peace)

    Christine

    Hi! Sigma
    I totally agree with you. Buzzard and Kathy are so so right. I always listen to what they have to say - they are definitely of great sound. I truly feel in my heart she was made to feel so much better today and that makes my heart sing along with many others on this site. Special people here for sure. God Bless and Happy Holidays.

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