victim of this monster?

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Comments

  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #22
    John23 said:

    Help needed
    Nana -

    Although your S.O. may be on track with the "splitsville",
    especially not knowing all the circumstances of a relationship,
    but two weeks are extreme.

    Most couples do well with some decent counseling, and fare
    even better hearing how others (in a group setting) have adjusted
    to things. But separation at a time when one's time may be so
    limited, is not in the best interests of the couple.

    Most humans have a tendency to let their mind run rampant
    during conflict and alone, and use their imagination to provide
    the other side of the "argument". That usually leads to a worse-case
    scenario, since the answers are not from the other party, but from
    the individual asking the questions.

    Silence from the partner involved, will not solve a marital problem,
    it will only make the problem go deeper at best, or get worse.

    We solve things by talking and listening, and a good councilor
    provides that setting.

    Separation does not "cure" anything, it just quiets down a riot
    that will continue a later day unless resolved.


    Good health!

    I hear yea! Counseling is good!
    My son in law left my daughter for about a month after my grandson passed away. Neither my daughter or son in law were thinking about their marriage at the time, they were thinking about how they as individuals were going to cope. I believe that the spouse needs to find himself and find out how to cope before he can be of any help.

    I am 51 years old, married for 30, and have cancer.......if the marriage is strong..... they will make it!

    PM me if you like!

    Blessings!
  • sfmarie
    sfmarie Member Posts: 602
    #23
    Wow!
    I am sorry to read about this. It must be so hard to have your husband have time away so your relationship can "heal". I also think you should look for a new therapist. I have never heard anyone say, take time away from your wife who is battling cancer, since you are sooo stressed out. Gimmee a break. Perhaps he needs to take a walk in your shoes. I will be praying for you. Marie
  • P_I_T_A
    P_I_T_A Member Posts: 133
    #24
    Hey, Sonia...I can relate
    You're not alone in this regard. I've been married a little over a year now. Found out my dx on our 1yr anniversary. Should be easy to remember now, huh? I got back from my 3rd chemo tx last week and me & the wife got into it bigtime the other day over something as stupid as rebedding our guinea pig's cage. As we all know, strong odors just make you want to hurl. I can't do it. It was our first fight ever and we've been together almost 4yrs now. Scared the hell out of me really when she didn't say a word and just left the house. She had a kidney transplant last year and deals with being bipolar. So, we've already been put through the ringer even before the beast. She stays on top of her bp with meds and regular Dr. visits and up until now, I've always been the one to pick up the slack when she's 'off'. Problem is I can't do that now. I do the best I can on my off chemo week to pitch in, but she's really had to step it up lately. I think our caretakers just get overwhelmed sometimes. She got out of house and went on a shopping binge(probably dialed up a friend as well.) I think your Dr. is a little excessive in his/her solution. Counseling TOGETHER is more than likely the best solution, but little times apart will be a necessity. Looks like mine is gonna cost me(and I thought the medical bills were rough.) Chin up, push through it, take care!

    -DJ

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