Sometimes it just blows me away

just4Brooks
just4Brooks Member Posts: 980 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I don’t know about the rest of you but sometimes I'm just blown away that I HAVE CANCER!!! In life you kind of make plains on what you're going to do and when you're going to do them. THEM BLAAMO.... You have CANCER. What.. me have cancer? no, no no, Not me . this only happens to other people. But no, it's me this time. I'm working my way through this Cancer crap just like the rest of us are.. but some days it just BLOWS me away!!

Life is funny sometimes
Brooks
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Comments

  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #2
    It Is!
    Sometimes I catch myself as well, thinking, wow, I have cancer, how different it was just a year ago, and am blown away as well. Now all I can think of is the fight being on ;)

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #3
    Shayenne said:

    It Is!
    Sometimes I catch myself as well, thinking, wow, I have cancer, how different it was just a year ago, and am blown away as well. Now all I can think of is the fight being on ;)

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna

    yes it is
    yes it is truly remarkable is it not....me cancer who thought

    I do not mean to trivialize your post in any way Brooks But here is my burning question of the moment. Where is it written..I ask where is it written

    after you save up the black load of clothes to wash....where is it written that there will always be a kleenex in some pocket and your nice dark laundry is clean but covered in shredded stuffies....grumble :):)

    mags
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #4
    On my cruise, I looked around....
    Wondered how many people have been touched by cancer...there were about 3,000 of us on the ship....

    I could usually pick them out...these were the people that smiled alot, and complained very little...and looked around with a bit of gratitude...

    I'm NOT saying that I'm grateful for having heard those 3 words...I would have rather not...but 'it is what it is'....and I have made adjustments (like not eating baked Alaska...sigh...chemo made me lactose intollerant....on the ship).

    Hugs, Kathi
  • coloCan
    coloCan Member Posts: 1,944 Member
    #5
    maglets said:

    yes it is
    yes it is truly remarkable is it not....me cancer who thought

    I do not mean to trivialize your post in any way Brooks But here is my burning question of the moment. Where is it written..I ask where is it written

    after you save up the black load of clothes to wash....where is it written that there will always be a kleenex in some pocket and your nice dark laundry is clean but covered in shredded stuffies....grumble :):)

    mags

    Brooks, as John Lennon had sung:"Life is what happens
    while you're busy making plans." Who the hell plans for cancer to enter their life??????Try as you may to put the thought aside and get on with your life, its always there, lurking in the back of your mind (all I need do is look at my body, move a certain way that affects stoma, etc). And ,speaking for myself, I think I'll forever be on the lookout for additiion signs of cancer. Who would have though at the start of 2009 this is where we'd be at end of 2009 but look how much stronger we are having survived chemo/rad/surgery and more.....No matter how down one gets, one must get up and continue the battle-the enemy won't give up on its own......Steve
  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #6
    maglets said:

    yes it is
    yes it is truly remarkable is it not....me cancer who thought

    I do not mean to trivialize your post in any way Brooks But here is my burning question of the moment. Where is it written..I ask where is it written

    after you save up the black load of clothes to wash....where is it written that there will always be a kleenex in some pocket and your nice dark laundry is clean but covered in shredded stuffies....grumble :):)

    mags

    sorry Brooks
    sorry Brooks....just had to vacuum my laundry.
    I have been fighting away for five years now and every reoccurence is a blow. I think I feel most different when actually on chemo. I walk down streets and think...why I am so different...look at all these people going on with their lives.

    and then I just get on with my life but I do not believe it ever feels the same as pre cancer. The beast lurks

    mags
  • Steve Z
    Steve Z Member Posts: 51
    #7
    I hear ya
    This is what raddles around in my head . . . I had some cramps. Then you operate, I miss work for 6 weeks, you put this thing in my chest, you then put a needle in that for 48 hrs, then I feel like hell, and just when I start to feel better the needle is back. What did I have? Are you sure you got the right guy? Except for what you're doing to me I feel pretty good.
  • Paula G.
    Paula G. Member Posts: 596
    #8
    Yap
    I try everyday not to think about it. But NOOOO it creeps in. I think my husband is handling it better than I am. We do what we can to keep things the same or better but I think that once you have cancer or someone you love has cancer things just aren't the same.
    You look at everything different. Some of it can be good. Time together seems of more important than it did. Not that it wasn't before it just has a feeling about it. We know how you feel. Paula
  • usakat
    usakat Member Posts: 610 Member
    #9
    Cancer...
    Cancer is not a thing one can overlook or just climb over and continue on when treatment is done...

    It changes us, but we must be certain we don't define ourselves by it.

    For me, cancer taught me to be more aware of the true gifts that life and good health are, and most importantly, to be grateful.
  • Steve Z
    Steve Z Member Posts: 51
    #10
    maglets said:

    sorry Brooks
    sorry Brooks....just had to vacuum my laundry.
    I have been fighting away for five years now and every reoccurence is a blow. I think I feel most different when actually on chemo. I walk down streets and think...why I am so different...look at all these people going on with their lives.

    and then I just get on with my life but I do not believe it ever feels the same as pre cancer. The beast lurks

    mags

    Owen Sound?
    I just saw your post on another thread about location. My in-laws grew up in Owen Sound. They still have a cabin up on the Bruce north of Sauble. We live in Philly, but I treasure the times at the cabin playing cribbage with my wife's grandfather. She still has cousins up there. Alexander, Kellough, and Morrison.

    Hang in there and lean on whoever you need to get through. I'm only in my third chemo treatment and the physical annoyance is the constant reminder that eventually sends me into mental overdrive "why do I have to go through this?"
  • thready
    thready Member Posts: 474
    #11
    usakat said:

    Cancer...
    Cancer is not a thing one can overlook or just climb over and continue on when treatment is done...

    It changes us, but we must be certain we don't define ourselves by it.

    For me, cancer taught me to be more aware of the true gifts that life and good health are, and most importantly, to be grateful.

    Grateful
    Cancer has made me more grateful. I think I will always look at things differently, cancer has taken so much, yet I am determined to look at what it can not touch and how it has made me be more grateful, more aware of those around me and how I focus on who is important, not the what in life.

    When I'm worried and I can't sleep
    I count my blessings instead of sheep
    And I fall asleep
    Counting my blessings

    When my bankroll is getting small
    I think of when I had none at all
    And I fall asleep
    Counting my blessings

    I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
    And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds

    If you're worried and you can't sleep
    Just count your blessings instead of sheep
    And you'll fall asleep
    Counting your blessings-Irving Berlin
  • butterfly23
    butterfly23 Member Posts: 256
    #12
    I Agree!
    Today I was talking with my mother, and I still can't believe it's been 2 years since my battle! It doesn't seem possible! I still have a LONG way to go! I agree sometimes you think about it and it does blow your mind!

    Karyn
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
    #13
    it does suck thats for sure
    It is not like I never thought I would get it, just not 2 weeks after turning 40. I was all set to go in for my 1st colonoscopy, no plans to ignore it or the family history. I would stay on top of it so I would not get it, I told myself. Ha.
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #14
    Cancer sucks
    No one in my family ever had cancer,untill my aunt died of stomach cancer 4 years ago,that was a shock,then my brother died of pancratic cancer almost 2 tears ago.Then I was dx with colorectal cancer 2 months later.I still have days when I find it hard to believe,but it does change your life even if you don't want it to.You are very right,life is funny sometimes,and you have to live it the best you can.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #15
    I understand
    Brooks,

    I know what you mean. It overwhelms me sometimes. I think, "Whoa! Cancer!" I clearly remember, too, the day of my surgery. I'm one of 6 kids, and all my sisters were able to come that day, but not my brother. When I was coming out of the anesthesia, I told them, "I always figured one of us would get cancer, but I didn't think it would be me."

    *Hugs*
    Gail
  • robinvan
    robinvan Member Posts: 1,012
    #16
    Blown Away!
    You name this very well Brooks! Even after 5 years I am still blown away! Long range planning is out the window for me.

    C'est la lie! Rob; in Vancouver
  • eric38
    eric38 Member Posts: 583
    #17
    robinvan said:

    Blown Away!
    You name this very well Brooks! Even after 5 years I am still blown away! Long range planning is out the window for me.

    C'est la lie! Rob; in Vancouver

    Alive
    It`s crazy. You know the question interviewers and other people sometimes ask? Where do you see yourself ten years from now? Long term plans are now out the window. When I hear that question I think I might not be around in ten years. So, my answer is the basic of all answers. It would be "Hopefully, alive."

    Eric
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #18
    eric38 said:

    Alive
    It`s crazy. You know the question interviewers and other people sometimes ask? Where do you see yourself ten years from now? Long term plans are now out the window. When I hear that question I think I might not be around in ten years. So, my answer is the basic of all answers. It would be "Hopefully, alive."

    Eric

    That word
    cancer scares me .I thought we would grow old together But once the cancer word is used our life was changed forever thats for sure.

    michelle
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #19
    I hear ya Brooks
    In the blink of an eye everything changes.
    When I got cancer I first thought "why me and not Brooks!"
    ;-)
    I can't believe it at times but why the hell not me? Someone's got to get it, as long as it wasn't my kids I don't mind (that much). What gets me from time to time is that I can't believe this is STILL going on after getting close to 6 years. It beats the alternative and there is hope (and life) living with cancer.

    I did just find out over the weekend that a former classmate of mind from high school was dx with breast cancer last December and died two months later. It blew me away.
    I consider us all very lucky in many ways.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #20
    eric38 said:

    Alive
    It`s crazy. You know the question interviewers and other people sometimes ask? Where do you see yourself ten years from now? Long term plans are now out the window. When I hear that question I think I might not be around in ten years. So, my answer is the basic of all answers. It would be "Hopefully, alive."

    Eric

    We are looking into refinancing our house. They offer 30 yr mortgage.
    I snicker when I think of that. Even w/o cancer I'd be 82!
  • just4Brooks
    just4Brooks Member Posts: 980 Member
    #21
    PhillieG said:

    I hear ya Brooks
    In the blink of an eye everything changes.
    When I got cancer I first thought "why me and not Brooks!"
    ;-)
    I can't believe it at times but why the hell not me? Someone's got to get it, as long as it wasn't my kids I don't mind (that much). What gets me from time to time is that I can't believe this is STILL going on after getting close to 6 years. It beats the alternative and there is hope (and life) living with cancer.

    I did just find out over the weekend that a former classmate of mind from high school was dx with breast cancer last December and died two months later. It blew me away.
    I consider us all very lucky in many ways.

    We are lucky... We're still here!!!
    We are lucky Phill, We lived through today and we see the day as a gift. The others just see it as another day. What a blessing we have.


    Life is funny sometimes
    Brooks

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