Life before cancer

The Change of LIFE
Hi Zig

I know what you mean.

You're 6-months into the battle and my wife and I are nearly 6-years in ours, so believe me, I understand life before cancer, but this decade had had us living through an F-3 tornado that could have killed us and then a couple of years later, the Cancer hit (and I had it awhile before and didn't know it) and then the rest of the decade has been the fight trying to save my life.

We receently watched old videos of our Golden Retriever, Sundance, and it brought back many happy times before Cancer, when it felt like I had a family with my wife and my pal with me.

And yes, the Cancer was building and none of us knew it - but how could we? We're all just going on with our lives and think we have troubles - oh, how we only thought we did!

I looked at my wife last night and I can personally SEE how much the nearly 6-years have taken their physical and emotional toll on her - she is having her own health problems and not feeling well - in looking at her, I could see how much she is taken in riding this ride with me.

All I can hope is that the RIDE will come to a stop and we can "exit the car to the left" and get out - and try and rebuild her life. I would like to bring her some joy and happiness - our married life has been a struggle and many times I wish we could have a "do-over."

She's a real trouper and has stayed with me when many Honies would have been on down the road with their suitcases. She took me for "Better or Worse, In Sickness and in Health." I must do what I can to make all of this up to her - she has paid the price to be with me and does not have enough to show for all she has been through.

So, I think I get your message - it all seems so unreal, but as time passes, your life adjusts to the fight and we all get through day to day, some better than others, but each day everybody tries to make it to another day.

I enjoyed reading your post and sharing your perspective - I wish all good things for you and your spouse for this Holiday Season and Beyond...

HO HO HO
-Craig

To me...
It's sort of like having kids. I can't remember a time without having them around.
Pre-cancer was a lifetime ago. Things change, "life goes on within you or without you"

just4Brooks said:

What a chage
Reading this post was sure nice. I think often of how I was just a short while ago (8 months). My life has and looks have changed so much since then but what is worse is the toll it takes on my wife and kids. It unfair to them to have to go through this with me. But in a way this cancer has been a blessing for me and my family. I was working long hours and almost 7 days a week. I never had the time to spend with my family. My way of thinking then was to make money to provide for them and the more I made the better things seemed to be. But during that time I was drifting away from them. Missing school plays, softball games, and etc was the norm back then. But today I spend my time getting to know them again. I spend time just talking with them and doing as much as I can with them. I've learned what is TRULY important in life, I have learned to SLOW down and listen, I’ve learned to see things that I never seen before by just taking the time to look, I have learned that life can be over in a instant so you better enjoy it with who you love.

Life is funny sometimes
Brooks

Brooks,
Your note made me think of Oprah's theory about life:

“God always first speaks to you in the whisper. So right now the universe is whispering to you about your job, about your children, about your relationships. If I were you, I’d take it in the whisper, because after the whisper, you get a little thump on your head. The thump on the head is a message trying to get through to you. If you don’t pay attention to that, you end up with a big ol’ problem. That’s a brick falling upside your head, because you didn’t hear it in the whisper. And if you don’t pay attention to the brick, then you get a whole wall of bricks falling down. Now you don’t have a problem, you’ve got a crisis. And if you don’t pay attention to the brick wall falling, the whole house caves in and you’re in a full blown disaster. So what I try to do is to get in the whisper. Get it in the whisper. Your life is whispering to you right now. What is it saying? All successful people have learned to be more in tune to the whisper.”

Now, I personally don't subscribe to the notion that God gives us cancer to learn something about ourselves, but perhaps it's the random hand of fate. In any case, to learn from your experience is always a good thing, even if it's something as dreadful as cancer. I suppose if we didn't learn something from each experience what would be the point?

Like you, my wall of bricks that was cancer taught me about what is important - not the job, the career, the bank account, the stuff...it's the people I love and the time I have. What matters is LIFE!

tootsie1 said:

Know what you mean
I know what you mean. I've had the same thoughts. I went through a similar experience after Bill had the sudden cardiac arrest. Even though he was revived, life felt so uncertain for a long time (even now, sometimes). I would look back on things that came before IT and think, "I was happy then."

Fortunately, I can see happiness on this side of both situations now. I backslide now and then, but I can truly laugh and be happy.

*hugs*
Gail

There is a life after chemo...
Craig, there are very few men that think like you. I happen to have one of these men, my husband only thinks of me and gives me his heart each and every day. He felt so bad being unemployed at my time of need, but what to do....


Now that I am past chemo and surgeries, I am feeling like my old self and luckily don't dwell too much on the cancer. I figure I will do the dwelling when and if I get a reoccurrence. It was tough having two surgeries, working through chemo, a two hour drive each day to and from work then an extra 40 minutes when I had chemo. I did it. I remained the bread winner and did what I had to do ....... I am really proud of myself. Now hubby is working again and all he wants to do is to make it up to me. No need! We are a team and what goes around, comes around!!

Before was good, but it's going to be better, now that I am NED, at least while I have the time!

KATE58 said:

life changes in the blink of
life changes in the blink of an eye,
never to be the same again,
a tornado,a flood,an auto accident,
cancer.

You think it will never happen to you ......
untill it does.

and then you know......
who your real friends are,
whats really important,what's of no consequence.

Then you pick yourself up and do what you need to do.
You think you are not strong enough to start over,
but when you need it the strength finds you.

If you're lucky along with the strength,
you find compassion,kindness,patience and empathy
from those around you
from within yourself.

and one day at a time,
you go on to build a new life,
different,but yours.

GOD BLESS US EVERYONE.
Kate

Very good Kate
And very true. Things can change like THAT!
I've thought this:
"If it wasn't for cancer I'd say I have the perfect life. But if it wasn't for cancer, would I even realize it".

Food for thought