Good Morning All, I woke this morning with a smile on my face and determination in my heart.

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Comments

  • As a "newbie" to the
    As a "newbie" to the discussion thread I have found your gentle mix of real emotion with practicality very helpful. I do agree that it is hard to bare one's soul during the most difficult times of the cancer battle/journey but where else can one do it?
    You ladies are the only people that I know who actually get what we are all going through.
    Balancing hope with the brutal realities of what we all have been through....the ups the downs....feeling pretty good and feeling absolutely beyond what mere words can describe. The physical, emotional and spritual roller coaster.

    I also like to hear what everyone is eating these days. I am making the transition to as much organic as possible, avoiding sugar ( reading lots of labels) no caffiene (sp?) and avoiding white flour. But would like more knowledge on nutrition.

    I also am thinking about trying to go back to work again. I had an executive level position but don't think I want that lifestyle or the stress. But of course there is the issue of insurance.....

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • california_artist
    california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Jill
    I wish I had a job. I think you should at least try, and do your very best. Accomplishing things is very, very good for the soul.

    As a side note. Within a few days of deciding to visit my sister, after she had asked on numerous occasions that I come out, she got a job with Intel after being unemployed for quite some time. Now this with a possible visit from me and you get a job offer. So anyone looking for work? Invite me out, you might just get a job offer.

    Forgive me for not remembering this, but could you tell me what your cancer history is, as I see from your profile that you are not longer in treatment, and you mentioned the Yale doctor so I am asuming you have been in treatment. I am not awake as yet, and the light might go on when I remember, but right now my face is all scrunched up trying to recall and looks like poooh.

    Love,

    Claudia

    Stage, nodes blah, blah, blah

    Thanks
  • daisy366
    daisy366 Member Posts: 1,458 Member

    Jill
    I wish I had a job. I think you should at least try, and do your very best. Accomplishing things is very, very good for the soul.

    As a side note. Within a few days of deciding to visit my sister, after she had asked on numerous occasions that I come out, she got a job with Intel after being unemployed for quite some time. Now this with a possible visit from me and you get a job offer. So anyone looking for work? Invite me out, you might just get a job offer.

    Forgive me for not remembering this, but could you tell me what your cancer history is, as I see from your profile that you are not longer in treatment, and you mentioned the Yale doctor so I am asuming you have been in treatment. I am not awake as yet, and the light might go on when I remember, but right now my face is all scrunched up trying to recall and looks like poooh.

    Love,

    Claudia

    Stage, nodes blah, blah, blah

    Thanks

    I think you should go back to work, Jill
    I vote for adding more to your life. When I was recovering from my surgery, I made a decision THEN to be more than a cancer patient. I actually dislike the term "cancer survivor" and prefer "cancer thriver" which I am working diligently on. I decided that cancer was part of my life and I would not be defined by it. So work, for me, is vital to my mental health which in turn promotes my physical health. The trick is in the balance.

    I hope you get this job and use it as a springboard to get back into a life balanced with work, play, joy, peace, love, and excitement.

    Blessings and light, Mary Ann
  • california_artist
    california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member
    daisy366 said:

    I think you should go back to work, Jill
    I vote for adding more to your life. When I was recovering from my surgery, I made a decision THEN to be more than a cancer patient. I actually dislike the term "cancer survivor" and prefer "cancer thriver" which I am working diligently on. I decided that cancer was part of my life and I would not be defined by it. So work, for me, is vital to my mental health which in turn promotes my physical health. The trick is in the balance.

    I hope you get this job and use it as a springboard to get back into a life balanced with work, play, joy, peace, love, and excitement.

    Blessings and light, Mary Ann

    Excitement
    Mary Ann,

    Now you've brought up another emotion I had simply forgotten about. I am all about the duty and nothing about the life.

    I was just trying to recapture joy.

    And now i am reminded I forgot yet another emotion--excitement. CRAP!!!!!!

    I feel defeated. Where in the heck am I going to find excitment in this jerk water town and I don't even know what that expression means. Hope it's nothing bad.

    See ya, I'm off to see if I can find the things on my list:

    Find:

    Joy
    Excitement
  • daisy366 said:

    I think you should go back to work, Jill
    I vote for adding more to your life. When I was recovering from my surgery, I made a decision THEN to be more than a cancer patient. I actually dislike the term "cancer survivor" and prefer "cancer thriver" which I am working diligently on. I decided that cancer was part of my life and I would not be defined by it. So work, for me, is vital to my mental health which in turn promotes my physical health. The trick is in the balance.

    I hope you get this job and use it as a springboard to get back into a life balanced with work, play, joy, peace, love, and excitement.

    Blessings and light, Mary Ann

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,088 Member
    Making life sparkle
    Hi All:

    I recently completed putting up over 30,000 led lights at my house. (Actually I have no clue how many light but there are a lot!) They are synchronized to music. We live on approximately three acres so we really Light up the place! If something has to LIGHT up I rather it be Christmas Lights! I took some videos. I don't how it looks. It was a lot of work and I wasn't going to do it but every year I hear how people look forward to seeing it and make special trip past my house to see it.

    Have a sparkly shining day!

    Kathy
  • california_artist
    california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member
    Kaleena said:

    Making life sparkle
    Hi All:

    I recently completed putting up over 30,000 led lights at my house. (Actually I have no clue how many light but there are a lot!) They are synchronized to music. We live on approximately three acres so we really Light up the place! If something has to LIGHT up I rather it be Christmas Lights! I took some videos. I don't how it looks. It was a lot of work and I wasn't going to do it but every year I hear how people look forward to seeing it and make special trip past my house to see it.

    Have a sparkly shining day!

    Kathy

    So, where do you live so we can all caravan on over.
    Maybe you could post a photo for your picture on this site.

    and that is one heck of lot of lights. You had help??????

    amen to the choice of which to light up. I also vote for your lights.

    Love and Merry christmas. Hey, when you tell us where you are we can Google may you. How exciting!!!! Can't wait.
  • daisy366
    daisy366 Member Posts: 1,458 Member

    So, where do you live so we can all caravan on over.
    Maybe you could post a photo for your picture on this site.

    and that is one heck of lot of lights. You had help??????

    amen to the choice of which to light up. I also vote for your lights.

    Love and Merry christmas. Hey, when you tell us where you are we can Google may you. How exciting!!!! Can't wait.

    Listen up, Claudia
    It sounds like you are definitely looking for that geographic cure. I think we can have excitement if we look for it wherever we may be. Have you ever heard the saying, blossom where you are planted (or something like that).

    When I got my new doc - after grieving PROFUSELY about losing my handsome young doc - he asked me, "Do you see the glass half full or half empty...I see the glass 3/4 full!". He gave me something to think about - he always tells me to stop think so much about cancer. He gets on me when I talk about this site.

    You mentioned getting docs to read this - good luck, I don't think they will because they are too busy and our stories are so varied. If we want them to read it, then we need to synthesize it for them and hand it to them on a silver platter with comments and questions, etc. Jill being the editor and you being the researcher, what a team that would be. I also think that my doc discounts alot of this info. When I thanked him for NOT recommending radiation because of all the horror stories I've heard here, he said (to his credit) "radiation does alot of good for alot of women, you just aren't hearing from them on that site". Makes sense. We need to remember that we are a very small segment of the population. Most people are NOT talking here. Fran's recurrence is probably an example of "off the bell curve" - the anomaly.

    With your personality, I don't think that you will have any trouble having a grand time in your little community if you set your mind to it. Sorry if this sounds harsh. I'm jealous when I hear you have a daugther and granddaughter there.

    I just talked to a woman battling recurrent breast cancer for the last year - her doc "smacked her upside the head" about not pushing herself more to enjoy life. My friend stays home alone and thinks cancer 24/7 and has a poor quality of life. The doc said, "What am I treating you for?..You need to get out and do things and stop thinking of cancer all the time" (easy for her to say, but she has a good point).

    Anyway, I'm rambling. Grab that excitement, girlfriend. It's out there waiting to be had!!

    Love, to you. Mary Ann
  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,088 Member

    So, where do you live so we can all caravan on over.
    Maybe you could post a photo for your picture on this site.

    and that is one heck of lot of lights. You had help??????

    amen to the choice of which to light up. I also vote for your lights.

    Love and Merry christmas. Hey, when you tell us where you are we can Google may you. How exciting!!!! Can't wait.

    Pennsylvania
    I live in Jefferson Hills, Pennsylvania. It is about 16 miles southeast of Pittsburgh. As soon as I download my video, I will let you know!

    My husband and I do most of the lights. We usually have two younger men go up on the roof to do the outline. However, this year we did most. (I even made extension cords) Crazy as it may seem, we even went up on the roof. Yikes! It took about three weekends. Our boys helped too (but they are teenagers).

    I will get back to you soon!

    Kath
  • Kaleena
    Kaleena Member Posts: 2,088 Member

    So, where do you live so we can all caravan on over.
    Maybe you could post a photo for your picture on this site.

    and that is one heck of lot of lights. You had help??????

    amen to the choice of which to light up. I also vote for your lights.

    Love and Merry christmas. Hey, when you tell us where you are we can Google may you. How exciting!!!! Can't wait.

    Pennsylvania
    I live in Jefferson Hills, Pennsylvania. It is about 16 miles southeast of Pittsburgh. As soon as I download my video, I will let you know!

    My husband and I do most of the lights. We usually have two younger men go up on the roof to do the outline. However, this year we did most. (I even made extension cords) Crazy as it may seem, we even went up on the roof. Yikes! It took about three weekends. Our boys helped too (but they are teenagers).

    I will get back to you soon!

    Kath
  • california_artist
    california_artist Member Posts: 816 Member
    daisy366 said:

    Listen up, Claudia
    It sounds like you are definitely looking for that geographic cure. I think we can have excitement if we look for it wherever we may be. Have you ever heard the saying, blossom where you are planted (or something like that).

    When I got my new doc - after grieving PROFUSELY about losing my handsome young doc - he asked me, "Do you see the glass half full or half empty...I see the glass 3/4 full!". He gave me something to think about - he always tells me to stop think so much about cancer. He gets on me when I talk about this site.

    You mentioned getting docs to read this - good luck, I don't think they will because they are too busy and our stories are so varied. If we want them to read it, then we need to synthesize it for them and hand it to them on a silver platter with comments and questions, etc. Jill being the editor and you being the researcher, what a team that would be. I also think that my doc discounts alot of this info. When I thanked him for NOT recommending radiation because of all the horror stories I've heard here, he said (to his credit) "radiation does alot of good for alot of women, you just aren't hearing from them on that site". Makes sense. We need to remember that we are a very small segment of the population. Most people are NOT talking here. Fran's recurrence is probably an example of "off the bell curve" - the anomaly.

    With your personality, I don't think that you will have any trouble having a grand time in your little community if you set your mind to it. Sorry if this sounds harsh. I'm jealous when I hear you have a daugther and granddaughter there.

    I just talked to a woman battling recurrent breast cancer for the last year - her doc "smacked her upside the head" about not pushing herself more to enjoy life. My friend stays home alone and thinks cancer 24/7 and has a poor quality of life. The doc said, "What am I treating you for?..You need to get out and do things and stop thinking of cancer all the time" (easy for her to say, but she has a good point).

    Anyway, I'm rambling. Grab that excitement, girlfriend. It's out there waiting to be had!!

    Love, to you. Mary Ann

    Mary Ann
    @#$^*((*%*&^(&)) town. Luckily for you, you don't live here. No taxi, bus line, movie theater, mall, restaurants that don't allow smoking. There is one library, which I do frequent.

    Anyhow, finding excitement outside of my apartment would be a useless endeavor. I don't want to go to a bar or kill a deer or fish, nor do I choose to spend time making fun of people I don't know, speaking poorly of all people that are not white like me, swear at the top of my lungs for no apparent reason, let my children run around with no guidance, cause I'm too busy drinking, kill helpless defenseless animals. Have an intelligent conversation, forget it. The talk is only about blasting some poor soul for some stupid mean spirited reason. I really can't stand it anymore. The list goes on and on.

    Oh, now wait there is one bit of excitement. If you should be out walking around, you do have to really speed up when you cross the street cause rather than slowing down here, people speed up for walkers. They like to see them run.

    You have made me think of how much I hate it here. When you've lived in places as wonderful as New York City and the area around San Francisco in California, where you can go anywhere without worrying about second hand smoke, where people have to let you cross the street and get cited if they don't stop. I am so upset right now, I can't even say. But you have done one really good thing that sitting around moping never did, you've made me face how very much I hate it here. Summers refers to this as the meanest little town in America.

    I am going to paint and do whatever I have to do to get out of here as soon as possible. My heart is just pounding now that I have let myself actually think about my non-existence here, forget about excitement altogether. I love you. I don't mean any of this to sound as though I am at all annoyed with you. The annoyance is completely with myself for living such a tiny little life.

    Regardless. the rest of your guidance struck a cord. I'm going to do what I can. I'm going to go paint and do much less rather than much more on the board.

    See ya all later. And best of luck. Signing off.

    your friend,

    Claudia
  • barb55
    barb55 Member Posts: 91
    Kaleena said:

    Pennsylvania
    I live in Jefferson Hills, Pennsylvania. It is about 16 miles southeast of Pittsburgh. As soon as I download my video, I will let you know!

    My husband and I do most of the lights. We usually have two younger men go up on the roof to do the outline. However, this year we did most. (I even made extension cords) Crazy as it may seem, we even went up on the roof. Yikes! It took about three weekends. Our boys helped too (but they are teenagers).

    I will get back to you soon!

    Kath

    oops
    moving this comment to the right thread.
  • TiggersDoBounce
    TiggersDoBounce Member Posts: 408

    Mary Ann
    @#$^*((*%*&^(&)) town. Luckily for you, you don't live here. No taxi, bus line, movie theater, mall, restaurants that don't allow smoking. There is one library, which I do frequent.

    Anyhow, finding excitement outside of my apartment would be a useless endeavor. I don't want to go to a bar or kill a deer or fish, nor do I choose to spend time making fun of people I don't know, speaking poorly of all people that are not white like me, swear at the top of my lungs for no apparent reason, let my children run around with no guidance, cause I'm too busy drinking, kill helpless defenseless animals. Have an intelligent conversation, forget it. The talk is only about blasting some poor soul for some stupid mean spirited reason. I really can't stand it anymore. The list goes on and on.

    Oh, now wait there is one bit of excitement. If you should be out walking around, you do have to really speed up when you cross the street cause rather than slowing down here, people speed up for walkers. They like to see them run.

    You have made me think of how much I hate it here. When you've lived in places as wonderful as New York City and the area around San Francisco in California, where you can go anywhere without worrying about second hand smoke, where people have to let you cross the street and get cited if they don't stop. I am so upset right now, I can't even say. But you have done one really good thing that sitting around moping never did, you've made me face how very much I hate it here. Summers refers to this as the meanest little town in America.

    I am going to paint and do whatever I have to do to get out of here as soon as possible. My heart is just pounding now that I have let myself actually think about my non-existence here, forget about excitement altogether. I love you. I don't mean any of this to sound as though I am at all annoyed with you. The annoyance is completely with myself for living such a tiny little life.

    Regardless. the rest of your guidance struck a cord. I'm going to do what I can. I'm going to go paint and do much less rather than much more on the board.

    See ya all later. And best of luck. Signing off.

    your friend,

    Claudia

    Claudia needs a road trip :)
    Claudia,

    You can come and visit me in Massachusetts!!

    Laurie
  • deanna14
    deanna14 Member Posts: 732

    To work or not to work; to estate plan or hide from those issues
    It was really good for my husband and I to talk about inheritance and all the scenarios for what would go to his kids - vs - my kids BEFORE we went to the attorney, and surprisingly helpful to talk about everything again in front of an objective outsider. I was surprised to learn that my husband also wants to be cremated (just like me!), and he surprised me with some extra generosity to MY grown kids in his own will (we each have 2 kids from former marriages), in appreciation for me leaving him 100% of my retirement savings intact. We are forming a trust for the grandchildren together, and he will now also add to the college fund I started for them. It was a good meeting and a good thing, and we left feeling peaceful and happy with each other and our plans.

    It will be hard for me to ease away from my work, as my business is also like one of my children as I have put so much of myself into it. But I'm making the move January 1, but staying on the payroll until I die because it's MY turn to get 'money for nothing' after putting everyone in the family on the payroll all these years! I know that I will still spend considerable time this next year transitioning and training so that I can really walk away from my business and know it'll survive. I'm excited by all this change. It may be happening sooner than I ever imagined, but this way I get to see my dreams of my boys taking over the business I built come true, and if they work it the right way, be assured of their financial security long-term.

    My worst fear, recurrance, has happened, and it's surprisingly liberating! The taxol alone won't be too hard on me, and if we decide we want to go somewhere, I won't hesitate to skip an infusion or push it back a few days to travel somewhere. I may not even wait for a remission to head off for an Alaskan cruise in the spring! I'm gonna be a HANDFUL from now on! LOOK OUT WORLD!

    So much style and grace, Linda!!
    I know I keep using the word grace... but it is true! You inspire me, and I am proud to call you my friend!
    Enjoy this transition and the liberation. Funny that you mention an Alaskan cruise, we have been talking about this too. I have not had a chance to look for a travel agent yet, but intend to do so right after Christmas. Please share any info you find out about the Alaskan cruises.
    Love and hugs.
  • deanna14
    deanna14 Member Posts: 732
    barb55 said:

    oops
    moving this comment to the right thread.

    Amazing, crazy, wonderful group of ladies!!
    I don't know what I would do without all of you and this board. Sometimes it feels like I am crazy and yes, my family believes I think about all of this cancer stuff too much. What I want to say to them is I love you, but get a diagnosis of Stage III Cancer and then tell me not to worry so much!!!! I can say whatever I need to say here and I know there is someone who is going to understand. Some of you walking in my shoes right now. I don't see any reason to hold back here! If they want to remove something I post, then at least I have gotten it out of my mind and on paper (so to speak). Sometimes we just need to get things off our chest so we can move past it. And none of us want to put all the burden on our families.
    I say, let it all hang out. We are supporting one another and this is what this board is all about!!

    I just love all you crazy gals!!
  • Mary Ann
    @#$^*((*%*&^(&)) town. Luckily for you, you don't live here. No taxi, bus line, movie theater, mall, restaurants that don't allow smoking. There is one library, which I do frequent.

    Anyhow, finding excitement outside of my apartment would be a useless endeavor. I don't want to go to a bar or kill a deer or fish, nor do I choose to spend time making fun of people I don't know, speaking poorly of all people that are not white like me, swear at the top of my lungs for no apparent reason, let my children run around with no guidance, cause I'm too busy drinking, kill helpless defenseless animals. Have an intelligent conversation, forget it. The talk is only about blasting some poor soul for some stupid mean spirited reason. I really can't stand it anymore. The list goes on and on.

    Oh, now wait there is one bit of excitement. If you should be out walking around, you do have to really speed up when you cross the street cause rather than slowing down here, people speed up for walkers. They like to see them run.

    You have made me think of how much I hate it here. When you've lived in places as wonderful as New York City and the area around San Francisco in California, where you can go anywhere without worrying about second hand smoke, where people have to let you cross the street and get cited if they don't stop. I am so upset right now, I can't even say. But you have done one really good thing that sitting around moping never did, you've made me face how very much I hate it here. Summers refers to this as the meanest little town in America.

    I am going to paint and do whatever I have to do to get out of here as soon as possible. My heart is just pounding now that I have let myself actually think about my non-existence here, forget about excitement altogether. I love you. I don't mean any of this to sound as though I am at all annoyed with you. The annoyance is completely with myself for living such a tiny little life.

    Regardless. the rest of your guidance struck a cord. I'm going to do what I can. I'm going to go paint and do much less rather than much more on the board.

    See ya all later. And best of luck. Signing off.

    your friend,

    Claudia

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • deanna14 said:

    Amazing, crazy, wonderful group of ladies!!
    I don't know what I would do without all of you and this board. Sometimes it feels like I am crazy and yes, my family believes I think about all of this cancer stuff too much. What I want to say to them is I love you, but get a diagnosis of Stage III Cancer and then tell me not to worry so much!!!! I can say whatever I need to say here and I know there is someone who is going to understand. Some of you walking in my shoes right now. I don't see any reason to hold back here! If they want to remove something I post, then at least I have gotten it out of my mind and on paper (so to speak). Sometimes we just need to get things off our chest so we can move past it. And none of us want to put all the burden on our families.
    I say, let it all hang out. We are supporting one another and this is what this board is all about!!

    I just love all you crazy gals!!

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Songflower
    Songflower Member Posts: 608
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Moving on Jill
    Dear Jill,

    After I had breast cancer I decided to just do life. I realized that if I worried about cancer coming back all day that I would have wasted that day. what if I lived? Then I had wasted my life worrying. I had breast cancer ten years ago. I also looked around at the people around me and said, hmmmm I am just as much alive as they are today. I never followed my tumor markers; I just asked how they were and he said "no trends." I reviewed them once years later; they were up and down and I am glad I didn't ride with them.

    I read something a breast cancer woman wrote after being treated. "When I get down and out I go out and try something new, something I've never done before." I did that. I took sailing lessons. Joined a writing group. Bought a diamond ring for myself for my 25th wedding anniversary. Swam with dolphins. Scuba diving the carribean. Even tried golf (now that's a slow game).

    The internet does wonderful things. But it's not healthy for me to spend the day googling serous cancer for another straw of hope going my way. I stay aware of current trends. For breast I got to breastcancer.org. for this I don't have a special site for uptodate info but have a few special places I check. But it's important to let go. to have a balance. Work is good in many ways. I am older now and would like to do part time so I can pursue some other hobbies too.

    Diane
  • Outlaw_Josie
    Outlaw_Josie Member Posts: 41
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    2.7 seconds
    Your subject line hit a chord with me. The song came out after my husband of 31 years died and I was struggling to figure out who I was and how to live life without him. It wasn't easy, but I did.

    Fast forward to my cancer diagnosis on Oct. 13 and I'm smacked by it again. My new husband was a short term caregiver to his wife who died 6 weeks after her lung cancer diagnosis...he knew where my head was for a bit and had to be scared, too. Other than the tears that fell the day I told him the diagnosis, he has been my rock and my cheer leader.

    Truth be told, I have always been a survivor...abuse in many forms from my father as I was growing up tainted my view of the world until I met my first husband and he taught me how to appreciate all the good that is in this bad world. My late husband loved life and shared that gift with me and everyone he cared about. I learned a lot about living from him.

    His example has been my guide for learning how to live as gleefully as I can no matter what. Doesn't mean I don't go down dark holes sometimes...widowhood sent me there quite some time...but, each trip down makes me stronger for what ever comes next.

    As a newbie to this board I have to say that I LOVE the openess that some of you express here...good and bad. My view is that we have to be both hopeful AND realistic. Sure it's a little scarey to read about recurrences, but even with a clean bill of health there's always that possibility.

    What I admire most is the blunt honesty mixed with the hope of "I'm gonna go out kicking and screaming". One of my favorite quotes during my widowhood has been from Rosalind Russell's character "Mame" from the same movie:
    "Life is not a journey to the grave
    With the intention of
    Arriving safely in a pretty
    And well preserved body,
    But rather to skid in broadside,
    Thoroughly used up,
    Totally worn out,
    And loudly proclaiming,

    WOW !!!! What a ride!"

    Once I got over the initial fear from diagnosis, I figured it would come in handy to continue thinking that way. The butt ugly scar from belly button to south pole is a daily reminder that I could have ignored the signs more years than the 3 I did and died. I'm alive and for however long that is...it's what counts.

    So...for what it's worth from someone a very short time on the cancer path...please...please...say what needs to be said. Public or not, ya'll help those who isolate themselves out of their fear.

    I apologize for going on...I tend to get long of lung when passionate about something...the truth is the truth even if we don't like it.

    You are an amazing group of women and I'm glad to have found you.
  • 2.7 seconds
    Your subject line hit a chord with me. The song came out after my husband of 31 years died and I was struggling to figure out who I was and how to live life without him. It wasn't easy, but I did.

    Fast forward to my cancer diagnosis on Oct. 13 and I'm smacked by it again. My new husband was a short term caregiver to his wife who died 6 weeks after her lung cancer diagnosis...he knew where my head was for a bit and had to be scared, too. Other than the tears that fell the day I told him the diagnosis, he has been my rock and my cheer leader.

    Truth be told, I have always been a survivor...abuse in many forms from my father as I was growing up tainted my view of the world until I met my first husband and he taught me how to appreciate all the good that is in this bad world. My late husband loved life and shared that gift with me and everyone he cared about. I learned a lot about living from him.

    His example has been my guide for learning how to live as gleefully as I can no matter what. Doesn't mean I don't go down dark holes sometimes...widowhood sent me there quite some time...but, each trip down makes me stronger for what ever comes next.

    As a newbie to this board I have to say that I LOVE the openess that some of you express here...good and bad. My view is that we have to be both hopeful AND realistic. Sure it's a little scarey to read about recurrences, but even with a clean bill of health there's always that possibility.

    What I admire most is the blunt honesty mixed with the hope of "I'm gonna go out kicking and screaming". One of my favorite quotes during my widowhood has been from Rosalind Russell's character "Mame" from the same movie:
    "Life is not a journey to the grave
    With the intention of
    Arriving safely in a pretty
    And well preserved body,
    But rather to skid in broadside,
    Thoroughly used up,
    Totally worn out,
    And loudly proclaiming,

    WOW !!!! What a ride!"

    Once I got over the initial fear from diagnosis, I figured it would come in handy to continue thinking that way. The butt ugly scar from belly button to south pole is a daily reminder that I could have ignored the signs more years than the 3 I did and died. I'm alive and for however long that is...it's what counts.

    So...for what it's worth from someone a very short time on the cancer path...please...please...say what needs to be said. Public or not, ya'll help those who isolate themselves out of their fear.

    I apologize for going on...I tend to get long of lung when passionate about something...the truth is the truth even if we don't like it.

    You are an amazing group of women and I'm glad to have found you.

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