I hope I don't offend

ittapp
ittapp Member Posts: 383 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
When we first started this journey I was told my the nurse practioner that I could not make love to my husband without a condom, is this true for the two weeks in between? It is really miserable this way and very unfulfilling for me. How long does chemo stay in the body? and how would this hurt him? Patti No offense just needing answers

Comments

  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #2
    A thought....

    So uhh....... that's just for the husband, right?




    just sayin'...
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #3
    John23 said:

    A thought....

    So uhh....... that's just for the husband, right?




    just sayin'...

    info.......

    http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/intimacy/ask_expert/2004_05/question_07.jsp

    http://www.cancercenter.com/after-care-services/sexuality.cfm
  • Lilmiss82
    Lilmiss82 Member Posts: 257 Member
    #4
    Nana b said:

    info.......

    http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/intimacy/ask_expert/2004_05/question_07.jsp

    http://www.cancercenter.com/after-care-services/sexuality.cfm

    I'm not really sure
    The radiation that I received put me in early menopause. A condom won't really help but it's probably to reduce possibility of infection or risk of bleeding from weak walls( Dont want to go to into detail about that and sorry to the men that read this.) the good news though is it's just temporary try Trogran ecstasy according to the commercial they say it "feels like nothings there!!" :) hope that helps
  • Kathleen808
    Kathleen808 Member Posts: 2,342 Member
    #5
    Hi Patti
    Hi Patti,
    We were told to wait five days after unhooking from the pump to make sure nothing toxic was passed on.

    Aloha,
    Kathleen
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #6
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • ittapp
    ittapp Member Posts: 383 Member
    #7
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Thsnks everyone,I am not
    Thsnks everyone,I am not much in te mood right after chemo, but on that second week I know it helps to feel normal and reconnectrd with my husband.;)Patti
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #8
    ittapp said:

    Thsnks everyone,I am not
    Thsnks everyone,I am not much in te mood right after chemo, but on that second week I know it helps to feel normal and reconnectrd with my husband.;)Patti

    I remember
    My onc said no sex during chemo treatments, and to also wear a condom, as it may burn hubby down there as well. I have never had radiation, but find it weird that chemo has hurt me during sex, I swear I thought my hymen grew over again, it was very painful, I felt like a virgin again, I know it's been awhile, but I feel so small down there, and tight, and didn't think chemo did that, I know radiation does, but chemo??

    We been trying to reconnect, he is soooo patient and loving, but this may sound stupid, what is a dilator and where do you get one?? I need to try something.

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • khl8
    khl8 Member Posts: 807
    #9
    Shayenne said:

    I remember
    My onc said no sex during chemo treatments, and to also wear a condom, as it may burn hubby down there as well. I have never had radiation, but find it weird that chemo has hurt me during sex, I swear I thought my hymen grew over again, it was very painful, I felt like a virgin again, I know it's been awhile, but I feel so small down there, and tight, and didn't think chemo did that, I know radiation does, but chemo??

    We been trying to reconnect, he is soooo patient and loving, but this may sound stupid, what is a dilator and where do you get one?? I need to try something.

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna

    To Donna
    you can ask your doctor about it, or you can go to an adult website and purchase something like it. Basically it is a small dildo that you use to stretch things out.

    PM me for more detailed info!
    Kathy
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252 Member
    #10
    Interesting
    I lay it on the line, so sorry if this is more than some people want to read. But I figure we are all like family here, and where else can you ask these private things?

    I was given no instructions at all regarding sex. No radition for me, but I am on FOLFOX.

    I have to say that between 4 surgeries and chemo, my drive has been killed. I sure hope it comes back. After over 6 years of marriage we were still in the honeymoon stage mostly. So this has been very hard for my husband.

    We have had intercourse a few times since I've been on chemo. No condoms. And I think maybe even once we had sex was when I was hooked up to my pump last cycle? I am mostly way too sick to even consider it till it is almost time for the next cycle anyway. But I think last time we did on Day#2 - hooked up to pump.

    What about oral sex - did they tell you to avoid it? (With my thrush issues, I've not gone near him - I don't want to pass the thrush mouth to penis.) But a couple times since I've started chemo that has been reversed - he has done it for me.

    So far no problems for us, but I don't want to do anything that could harm him at all. So this worries me a little.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #11
    SEX
    I asked my oncologist about having sex. She said she was a married woman!
    It was actually never discussed. I've been cautious about my fluids but I really should look up more about it.
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #12
    Sex
    If I remember correctly, in the recent past there was a thread regarding this issue on the colon club. During chemo use a condom, a few days after chemo you were good to go without one. Check the colon club and you should find the answers you are looking for. I think the site administrator chimed in on the discussion what the recommendations were. Take care and have some fun this weekend! Tina
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #13
    PhillieG said:

    SEX
    I asked my oncologist about having sex. She said she was a married woman!
    It was actually never discussed. I've been cautious about my fluids but I really should look up more about it.

    HaHa Phil!!
    I just busted up laughing at this, you crack me up LOL!

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #14
    PhillieG said:

    SEX
    I asked my oncologist about having sex. She said she was a married woman!
    It was actually never discussed. I've been cautious about my fluids but I really should look up more about it.

    Better safe than sorry!
    I didn't do chemo,or radiation, but I've been using my left hand just to be safe.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #15
    Condoms
    I was never told for my husband to use condoms during intercourse. Never told to wait or not to have intercourse. Since we haven't done anything in so long I suppose it didn't matter but the doctor doesn't know that.

    Kim
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #16
    Annabelle41415 said:

    Condoms
    I was never told for my husband to use condoms during intercourse. Never told to wait or not to have intercourse. Since we haven't done anything in so long I suppose it didn't matter but the doctor doesn't know that.

    Kim

    Well.......
    When my husband ran down the aisle in Target, yelling if I wanted supersize or glow in the dark, it was all over with..........after 30 years, you think he would have some respect :-)
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member
    #17
    Nana b said:

    Well.......
    When my husband ran down the aisle in Target, yelling if I wanted supersize or glow in the dark, it was all over with..........after 30 years, you think he would have some respect :-)

    After 30 years thats exactly why the marriage is still strong
    I applaude you and hubby for the exibition of health and happiness and the ability to not let anything stop or put a hold on the fun you can have in life. Keep up the good work Mr and Mrs Nanab

    Oh and btw....your choice was..........................LOL...I don't wanna know......
  • steve g
    steve g Member Posts: 58 Member
    #18
    Buzzard said:

    After 30 years thats exactly why the marriage is still strong
    I applaude you and hubby for the exibition of health and happiness and the ability to not let anything stop or put a hold on the fun you can have in life. Keep up the good work Mr and Mrs Nanab

    Oh and btw....your choice was..........................LOL...I don't wanna know......

    After over 30 yrs
    Chemo and radiation has taken it's toll and sex is almost a fond memory. Just the other day my wife asked "whatever happened to our sexual relations?" and I responded "did we forget to send them a Christmas Card"
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #19
    For the YOUNG ladies
    Chemo throws you into instant menopause. Menopause causes the vagina to shorten, become fragile and atrophy. The bleeding is from vaginal tearing (think paper cuts). Orgasms can become very painful. Also look up pelvic congestion. That's sort of varicose veins of the pelvic / vaginal area and causes achy pains. I'd suggest you do a websearch to read all about menopause. Menopause is no fun! Going through it as a young gal is sucky!
  • dianetavegia
    dianetavegia Member Posts: 1,942 Member
    #20
    PhillieG said:

    SEX
    I asked my oncologist about having sex. She said she was a married woman!
    It was actually never discussed. I've been cautious about my fluids but I really should look up more about it.

    LOL
    My onc never mentioned it and I only saw it mentioned after my chemo had ended. I haven't checked to see if hubby glows in the dark!

    Diane

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