New to Caregivers Board..Been on the Ovarian Cancer Board-

Waiting & Tests
Waiting for test results and being disappointed is soooo normal or at least a part of your new normal. My husband fought colon cancer for six years. After the first recurrence we decided that we would look on this "adventure" as buying time. It wasn't unusual for us to walk out of a dr.'s appointment and not really know how we should feel. As hard as it is to stay on the merry-go-round that usually means that you are still buying time. I hope it is a long time. I know people who have been clean for many years who still dread the tests and waiting for the results. Hang in there. Take each day as a gift and hold tight to each other. Fay

I hate this disease too.
Lisa,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I, myself, am no stranger to the trials of cancer taking over a family. In 1996, my mother was dx with colon cancer, congestive heart failure and renal failure. I am the youngest of four children. My brother, Shawn (who lived here) and I would take turn helping my parents and my paternal grandparents. My sister and other brother live a couple of hours away from us. In 1999, my paternal grandfather was dx with prostate cancer. In February of 2000, Shawn died in a plane crash, which left Dad and I to handle Mom and my grandfather. In May of 2000, my paternal grandfather passed, so we moved my grandmother in with my parents. In August of 2000, my step grandfather passed, my maternal grandfather passed of lung cancer in the 70’s, and lost an uncle to lung cancer in the 80’s.

In January of 2006, I lost my maternal grandmother to Parkinson’s disease. In June of 2006, we had to move my paternal grandmother into an assisted living facility because she was no longer able to walk and she would fall and have to wait for us to come home to lift her. On October 19th, my mother’s 65th birthday, my mother had trouble, so I tried to discuss hiring someone to come stay with her while Dad and I worked. She was a little upset with me for bringing it up. The morning of October 20th, she collapsed into a coma at the dialysis clinic. I was literally following the life flight helicopter with my mother, when I got the call that my paternal grandmother was passing. I ran day and night between my mom hospital and my grandmother nursing home, not wanting to leave either one of them. I lost my mom on October 25th and my grandmother on November 2nd, 2006.

In May of 2009, my father complained of his hip hurting. Long story short, Stage IV colon cancer with mets to lungs, liver, spine, ribs and lymph nodes. My father went from working 16 hrs a day, to having emergency surgery, being confined to a wheel chair and having to move in with me, (colon tumor broke his hip). He has been hospitalized for over a week each month since. We have our good days and bad. I am constantly fighting his feelings of despair, pain, nausea, and lack of appetite. Sometimes I have to use tough love, which makes me feel guilty for being stern with him, but he usually feels better once he is doing something. Sometimes, I just let him rest. He is aware of everything that is happening. He recently chose to stop chemo treatments and I have had to respect his wishes. Now, we live every day to make wonderful memories.

Lisa, I tell you all of this because whether you lose someone to cancer or a plane crash, cherish every moment for today. Every one of these people listed above, knew that I truly loved them and would do anything for them. I would jump on the merry go round a million more rides to have one more memory.

Caregiving is the hardest job you will ever have to perform, but it will be the most rewarding.

Best of luck to you and your mom and I pray that remission is in the near future.