Friend recently diagnosed

Sigma34
Sigma34 Member Posts: 203
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi,

I originally checked out ACS for myself, having been diagnosed with colon cancer in June. My reason for writing is about a friend of mine. She just started chemo and I was wondering if there was anything that I could do to help make a difference in her day. My treatment is so different. I live 3000 miles away but we have been in close contact through email and I show support that way. Is there something I could send to her? I believe she has a safe place to vent with me since we both have a common understanding of having cancer but I feel like I should or could be doing more but not having breast cancer I am at a loss and here for some help and ideas. Thank you so much!!

Comments

  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #2
    What a wonderful friend you
    What a wonderful friend you are, Sigma. Fighting your own fight with cancer yet concerned about a friend, too. This speaks volumes about you as a person. With that said, the only thing that comes to mind is perhaps a book that would provide answers to some of her questions. Dr. Susan Love has a book out called The Breast Cancer Book that many women on this site recommend. I, too, received this book from my sister. It does answer a lot of the questions that we have. Of course, it would also benefit your friend to join this site as we are a group of very caring and suuportive women. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and good luck with your battle. Take care.
  • Sigma34
    Sigma34 Member Posts: 203
    #3
    MyTurnNow said:

    What a wonderful friend you
    What a wonderful friend you are, Sigma. Fighting your own fight with cancer yet concerned about a friend, too. This speaks volumes about you as a person. With that said, the only thing that comes to mind is perhaps a book that would provide answers to some of her questions. Dr. Susan Love has a book out called The Breast Cancer Book that many women on this site recommend. I, too, received this book from my sister. It does answer a lot of the questions that we have. Of course, it would also benefit your friend to join this site as we are a group of very caring and suuportive women. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and good luck with your battle. Take care.

    Thank you for such a quick
    Thank you for such a quick response! I will see if she has the book and if not, get it for her. I told her about ACS a couple weeks ago. It has been of great comfort to me. I don't post very often but sure makes a difference.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you as well.

    Christine
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #4
    Encourage her to go to the
    Encourage her to go to the "Look Good - Feel Better" class.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #5
    Great Friend you are!
    Sigma....One of my closet friends is battling the worst form of brain cancer there is.....she is 51.....She and I have shared what it feels like to be given a diagnosis of CANCER....doesnt' matter what kind......it links us...we both know that what she has is terminal, mine BC isn't....But we know how the other one feels to be told......"you have cancer." Just be there for your friend, let her know you care....send her words and cards of encouragement.......People tend to "shy away" after hearing a freind has cancer..some can't handle it, I found that to be true with some of my so called "friends".....One does find out who their true friends are when going through this......so just continue doing what you're doing....she's lucky to have you.......
    Happy Thanks giving
    Nancy
  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #6
    Stick with her for the long haul
    Christine,

    I'm sorry for your and your friend's diagnoses -- yes, I've been so surprised meeting people with other forms of cancer during chemo and rads how different the treatments are.

    From my own experience, the single most important thing I would urge any friend of someone diagnosed with cancer is to be prepared to stick with her for the long haul. People who haven't experienced cancer up close just have NO CLUE how long treatment takes, or how isolating it can be.

    I was diagnosed 7 months ago -- I've had surgery, chemo, and am now doing radiation. My friends were right there after my surgery -- bringing food, sending care packages and cards. But once I recovered from the surgery, went back to work, then started chemo, there was kind of a sense from some of them of what, you mean you're not DONE? And now that I'm mostly recovered from the chemo and doing rads, even more of them have dropped away -- I'm working and driving myself to rads each day, so I must be "back to normal," right?

    Christine, please don't worry that you're 3000 miles away -- it would have meant so much to me during the worst days of chemo, when all I felt up to was dragging myself over to the computer, to just have an email or silly e-card from a friend asking me how I was feeling and encouraging me.

    I know how blesed you and your friend both are to have each other right now.

    Traci
  • elizarose
    elizarose Member Posts: 124
    #7
    TraciInLA said:

    Stick with her for the long haul
    Christine,

    I'm sorry for your and your friend's diagnoses -- yes, I've been so surprised meeting people with other forms of cancer during chemo and rads how different the treatments are.

    From my own experience, the single most important thing I would urge any friend of someone diagnosed with cancer is to be prepared to stick with her for the long haul. People who haven't experienced cancer up close just have NO CLUE how long treatment takes, or how isolating it can be.

    I was diagnosed 7 months ago -- I've had surgery, chemo, and am now doing radiation. My friends were right there after my surgery -- bringing food, sending care packages and cards. But once I recovered from the surgery, went back to work, then started chemo, there was kind of a sense from some of them of what, you mean you're not DONE? And now that I'm mostly recovered from the chemo and doing rads, even more of them have dropped away -- I'm working and driving myself to rads each day, so I must be "back to normal," right?

    Christine, please don't worry that you're 3000 miles away -- it would have meant so much to me during the worst days of chemo, when all I felt up to was dragging myself over to the computer, to just have an email or silly e-card from a friend asking me how I was feeling and encouraging me.

    I know how blesed you and your friend both are to have each other right now.

    Traci

    You are such a good friend!!
    You are such a good friend!! From my perspective it always made me feel better to know someone was thinking of me and cared. Anything that you could send her that would convey that would be great. Also, things that help divert her attention like games or crafts. You know what she would like best. She is blessed to have you as a friend!
  • Sigma34
    Sigma34 Member Posts: 203
    #8
    elizarose said:

    You are such a good friend!!
    You are such a good friend!! From my perspective it always made me feel better to know someone was thinking of me and cared. Anything that you could send her that would convey that would be great. Also, things that help divert her attention like games or crafts. You know what she would like best. She is blessed to have you as a friend!

    Thank you again for all the
    Thank you again for all the replies. I have known her since we were in kindergarten (now 41) and our paths went different way throughout the years but we can always pick up where we left off. I will continue what I am doing, joke with her, try to be of comfort and of course be here for the long haul!

    Christine
  • Gloria09
    Gloria09 Member Posts: 190
    #9
    Sigma 34
    It's friends like you that help others make it through whatever crisis they may have. Thank you for being the person you are! I responded to another post about what I did to help relieve the stress and help me feel good about myself. I made a bubble bath, turned the music on changing channels until I found what type of music I wanted for that time and lit a few candles. So if you have the desire to send her something maybe a gift basket of bath goodies. The selections are endless; bubble bath, bath oil, sponge, cuticle brush/kit, nail polish, favorite CD and/or DVD, bath pillow, robe, lotion etc. Just make sure she is not alergic to any scented items. At the same time make a basket for yourself, it does wonders!

    Hope that helps!
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #10
    Bumping up for Sigma34. Hard
    Bumping up for Sigma34. Hard to find messages sometimes.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    #11
    Marcia527 said:

    Bumping up for Sigma34. Hard
    Bumping up for Sigma34. Hard to find messages sometimes.

    Thanks for finding this for
    Thanks for finding this for her, Marcia! Sigma? How is your friend doing? Hopefully she is doing well, and once again, thank you for being the good friend you are! And of course, I hope YOU are doing well too!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Sigma34
    Sigma34 Member Posts: 203
    #12
    chenheart said:

    Thanks for finding this for
    Thanks for finding this for her, Marcia! Sigma? How is your friend doing? Hopefully she is doing well, and once again, thank you for being the good friend you are! And of course, I hope YOU are doing well too!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Brilliant!
    Thank you so much. I must be losing it, I looked over and over for it. ha ha! Anyway, thank you.

    She is doing better this time around after chemo. Her doctor tweeked the meds a bit and seemed to help.

    I was wondering if she is safe for a massage? Have you heard otherwise from your doctor's? My sister owns a day spa in the area that I used to live in Campbell, Calif and I asked the girls to donate some services for her. My friend goes there for waxing but I joked with her last week she won't be needing that for a awhile. My sister wanted to do some research to find out if it is safe.

    Thanks again for everyone's support.

    Hey, one more thing. I recently had some genetic testing done for Lynch Syndrome, does anyone here have it?

    Talk with you soon. I am hoping she will join this site soon. :)
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #13
    Sigma34 said:

    Brilliant!
    Thank you so much. I must be losing it, I looked over and over for it. ha ha! Anyway, thank you.

    She is doing better this time around after chemo. Her doctor tweeked the meds a bit and seemed to help.

    I was wondering if she is safe for a massage? Have you heard otherwise from your doctor's? My sister owns a day spa in the area that I used to live in Campbell, Calif and I asked the girls to donate some services for her. My friend goes there for waxing but I joked with her last week she won't be needing that for a awhile. My sister wanted to do some research to find out if it is safe.

    Thanks again for everyone's support.

    Hey, one more thing. I recently had some genetic testing done for Lynch Syndrome, does anyone here have it?

    Talk with you soon. I am hoping she will join this site soon. :)

    Sigma,
    I was just diagnosed
    Sigma,
    I was just diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome and with the Muir Torre subset. I am just learning about it but would be glad to help you with any information I have. Can I ask what brought them to doing the testing? Family history, your personal history. It was a little overwhelming hearing the initial risks with this but I am a rubbery woman and I bounce back pretty well. But the ladies here were a big help in lifting my spirits when I first found out. It's always that darn first shock wave for these things. Like tsunamis, they hit, you access the damage and then start to rebuild. Feel free to PM me.
    Stef
  • Sigma34
    Sigma34 Member Posts: 203
    #14
    fauxma said:

    Sigma,
    I was just diagnosed
    Sigma,
    I was just diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome and with the Muir Torre subset. I am just learning about it but would be glad to help you with any information I have. Can I ask what brought them to doing the testing? Family history, your personal history. It was a little overwhelming hearing the initial risks with this but I am a rubbery woman and I bounce back pretty well. But the ladies here were a big help in lifting my spirits when I first found out. It's always that darn first shock wave for these things. Like tsunamis, they hit, you access the damage and then start to rebuild. Feel free to PM me.
    Stef

    Hi Stef,
    I did the genetic
    Hi Stef,

    I did the genetic testing a couple weeks ago and should get the results back soon. I was diagnosed with colon cancer (41 yrs) in June and had surgery to remove my lower colon. I do have a history with family cancer so depending on the results of the testing, who knows what direction my journey will take.

    I'm pretty rubbery as well. :). I will post back with the results. It seems a few people in the Uterine and colon cancer discussion groups have it as well.

    Talk with you soon and have a blessed day.

    Christine
  • Lynda53
    Lynda53 Member Posts: 210
    #15
    Hi Sigma You are a great friend
    As has been said, get diagnosed and find your true friends! I have IBC,mastectomy and radiation scheduled. The last 3 months have, well, sucked. I have been fortunate to have my roomate and 1 cancer survivor friend who have been here every minute of my day. I have received lots of cards and telephone calls, and they have brought me comfort. I am like a 10 yo, and my cards are plastered in my bedroom! I also have those that email me, some daily some weekly, some with warm thoughts others with the normalcy of life! These too give me comfort.
    Knowing that I do have people that care and understand has been a great help.
    I am sending you positive vibes, healing thoughts and warm hugs for both you and your friend.
    Peace
  • Sigma34
    Sigma34 Member Posts: 203
    #16
    Lynda53 said:

    Hi Sigma You are a great friend
    As has been said, get diagnosed and find your true friends! I have IBC,mastectomy and radiation scheduled. The last 3 months have, well, sucked. I have been fortunate to have my roomate and 1 cancer survivor friend who have been here every minute of my day. I have received lots of cards and telephone calls, and they have brought me comfort. I am like a 10 yo, and my cards are plastered in my bedroom! I also have those that email me, some daily some weekly, some with warm thoughts others with the normalcy of life! These too give me comfort.
    Knowing that I do have people that care and understand has been a great help.
    I am sending you positive vibes, healing thoughts and warm hugs for both you and your friend.
    Peace

    Wow! You ladies are amazing
    Wow! You ladies are amazing and wonderful! Thank you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers! I'm hoping my friend will join this site soon and feel the closeness that we all feel.

    Much love,

    Christine

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