Does Anyone with Cancer Ever Date Again?

spoonchek
spoonchek Member Posts: 30
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Among all my other fears in the one marked "You've got cancer and no man will want to date you now so love is probably out of the question for you"........The dating websites for those with serious illness are very poorly attended and then there are the "Match.Com" situations. I know its arkward, but has anyone out there found themselves dating or falling in love after a cancer diagnosis?

Comments

  • xskeetshooter
    xskeetshooter Member Posts: 169
    #2
    yes
    i know a lady that had both breasts removed, met a man and got married.remember its not whats on the out side, its the inside that matters. dont worry , when the right time is right someone special will come into your life. keep your head up girl
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #3
    Yes it is possible
    Hi Spoon, my sister had breast cancer twice and had both breast removed and reconstruction that did not result in what she had hoped for. She did fall in love with a great guy who loved her for who she was. It is very possible so please do not give up on finding someone who will love you, it could happen we never know who is around the next corner.

    ♥ RE ♥
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member
    #4
    Yes!
    From women I know, the best part of dating post BC is that it screens out the cold, insensitive types you don't want anyway. When most of us think of dating, we remember high school and college when most of us were shallow and looks and popularity were the big thing. As we grow older, many men and women "get" what really matters and those are the friends and lovers we want to attract. Love yourself completely and unconditionally and the right guy will show up. Think of BC as a filter....filtering out the guys you wouldn't want anyway. It's like a loser detector.

    Roseann
  • Marlene_K
    Marlene_K Member Posts: 508
    #5
    roseann4 said:

    Yes!
    From women I know, the best part of dating post BC is that it screens out the cold, insensitive types you don't want anyway. When most of us think of dating, we remember high school and college when most of us were shallow and looks and popularity were the big thing. As we grow older, many men and women "get" what really matters and those are the friends and lovers we want to attract. Love yourself completely and unconditionally and the right guy will show up. Think of BC as a filter....filtering out the guys you wouldn't want anyway. It's like a loser detector.

    Roseann

    Great reply, Roseann
    I'm in the same boat as Spoonchek and hope to one day fall in love again. First and foremost what is important is to kick cancer's butt, however, once all my kids are grown and out of the house, I'm hoping I don't have to be alone. You're response was perfect and very inspiring... who wants those losers? :))
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
    #6
    roseann4 said:

    Yes!
    From women I know, the best part of dating post BC is that it screens out the cold, insensitive types you don't want anyway. When most of us think of dating, we remember high school and college when most of us were shallow and looks and popularity were the big thing. As we grow older, many men and women "get" what really matters and those are the friends and lovers we want to attract. Love yourself completely and unconditionally and the right guy will show up. Think of BC as a filter....filtering out the guys you wouldn't want anyway. It's like a loser detector.

    Roseann

    Thank you Roseann for this
    Thank you Roseann for this beautiful response. I too am single and was wondering the same thing.

    Sher
  • elm3544
    elm3544 Member Posts: 748
    #7
    YES!
    Just an example: I have a co worker who has battled BC twice and is in her early 40's.
    Her husband left her because "he could not deal with her mood swings" during her second battle.
    This was about 2 years ago and she is now involved with a very nice and attractive man.
    Please remember that you are still the beautiful woman you always have been. Your experiences have made you stronger and wiser. Why wouldn't a great guy want to be with you?
  • helen e
    helen e Member Posts: 223
    #8
    elm3544 said:

    YES!
    Just an example: I have a co worker who has battled BC twice and is in her early 40's.
    Her husband left her because "he could not deal with her mood swings" during her second battle.
    This was about 2 years ago and she is now involved with a very nice and attractive man.
    Please remember that you are still the beautiful woman you always have been. Your experiences have made you stronger and wiser. Why wouldn't a great guy want to be with you?

    My stepmother
    My stepmom had a bi lateral mastectomy (with no reconstruction) about 25 years ago and met my dad around 20 years ago and they have been together ever since. My dad has no issue with it and the someone you eventually find won't either.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #9
    helen e said:

    My stepmother
    My stepmom had a bi lateral mastectomy (with no reconstruction) about 25 years ago and met my dad around 20 years ago and they have been together ever since. My dad has no issue with it and the someone you eventually find won't either.

    My friend got married after
    My friend got married after BC dx lumpectomy chemo, the had two beautiful boys 18 years ago. tumor was 5 cm with two nodes. she was fearful when she had her children but forged ahead and all are doing well.
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #10
    carkris said:

    My friend got married after
    My friend got married after BC dx lumpectomy chemo, the had two beautiful boys 18 years ago. tumor was 5 cm with two nodes. she was fearful when she had her children but forged ahead and all are doing well.

    radiation too. I have known
    radiation too. I have known people through support groups who have gone on to have relationships with great guys and gotten married.
  • pinkflutterby
    pinkflutterby Member Posts: 615 Member
    #11
    carkris said:

    radiation too. I have known
    radiation too. I have known people through support groups who have gone on to have relationships with great guys and gotten married.

    good post :) ive been
    good post :) ive been wondering the same thing. Im single 42 and dealing with stage IV. Good responses :)
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159 Member
    #12
    I was over 50, had just been
    I was over 50, had just been dating my Reggie for less than a year when I was diagnosed. As we were in a new relationship, and had no history, he really could have had "just cause" to say he couldn't/wouldn't stay as he didn't sign up for that. The night before my surgery, he gave me a small but beautiful diamond ring and said he was there for "the long haul." That was 7 years ago~ we are still together and he has been so nurturing, generous and loving. And the best part? He thinks HE is the lucky one!

    We are more than our breasts...how many physically attractive, wealthy, famous people seem to be serial marriage mates? Be it sports, Hollywood, music, politics~ all of those things we think/wish we had are superflous. All the botox and silicone boobs have not kept their hearts from being broken, and have not insured true love or fidelity. If looks, money and no illness assured happiness, Hollywood would be Utopia!

    Take heart~ lives are meant to be shared! And I agree; this will certainly sift the unworthy from the herd!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    #13
    chenheart said:

    I was over 50, had just been
    I was over 50, had just been dating my Reggie for less than a year when I was diagnosed. As we were in a new relationship, and had no history, he really could have had "just cause" to say he couldn't/wouldn't stay as he didn't sign up for that. The night before my surgery, he gave me a small but beautiful diamond ring and said he was there for "the long haul." That was 7 years ago~ we are still together and he has been so nurturing, generous and loving. And the best part? He thinks HE is the lucky one!

    We are more than our breasts...how many physically attractive, wealthy, famous people seem to be serial marriage mates? Be it sports, Hollywood, music, politics~ all of those things we think/wish we had are superflous. All the botox and silicone boobs have not kept their hearts from being broken, and have not insured true love or fidelity. If looks, money and no illness assured happiness, Hollywood would be Utopia!

    Take heart~ lives are meant to be shared! And I agree; this will certainly sift the unworthy from the herd!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Chen
    So true about Hollywood
    Chen
    So true about Hollywood and Utopia. And I got teary eyed at your beautiful Reggie giving you a diamond and saying he was there for the long haul. You are both so lucky and blessed to have found one another. There are indeed soul mates out there and some of us are lucky enough to find them. You certainly did and I know I did. Because let's face it, with time looks fade, parts sag, and we age, but a beautiful heart is forever.
    And I agree also that if someone you meet is not able to look past your exterior to find that beautiful heart then you are well rid of them. A good man wants a woman with depth of character. They are out there and there is one for you.
    Stef

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