I'm not sure I can take much more....

pipwe1
pipwe1 Member Posts: 53
edited March 2014 in Emotional Support #1
I'm not sure I can take much more... Just over 15 weeks ago I lost the love of my life and now my partners mother is dying.. she was admitted to hospital with complications with her congested heart failure. Two weeks have passed and now the Dr's keep telling me that medically she is back to normal but she is refusing to eat, refusing to drink and just keeps telling me she wants to die. She is 90 and the family have told me... what will be will be ... let her go.. she wants to go. She can't go on much longer without eating... how on earth am I going to get through this... then Thanksgiving... then my birthday... then Christmas and New Years

Wendy

Comments

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
    My Heart Goes Out to You
    Wendy, I am so sorry about your partner's mother. I know that it's hard. One of my husband's wishes during his 6 year fight was that his 90+ mother would go before he did. He knew how hard it would for her to deal with his death. She had already lost one son She died a couple of years ago, also of congestive heart failure. My mother is also 90+ and did live with us. She was having so much trouble dealing with my husband's illness that my sister took her to her house. My mom is going to stay there. I know none of this makes it easier for you. I think you need to honor your partner's mother's wishes. Her quality of life may be less than she wants. She may feel that she doesn't want to prolong her life. Many of us have had to accept this type of decision from our loved ones. Check with her dr. Maybe it's time to call in hospice.

    I, too, am wondering how I will get through the holidays. I know they will be hard. My sons and their families are very supportive. I have 4 granddaughters ranging in ages from 4 to 16. So I will be surrounded with family which is really helpful. I know we will all miss my husband. His sense of humor and fun was a big part of our celebrations.

    Please take care of yourself. Do what you think is right. Lead with your heart which I know is large and already missing a piece. Fay
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #3
    My Heart Goes Out to You


    I KEEP POSTING TWICE. I DON'T KNOW WHY.
  • pipwe1
    pipwe1 Member Posts: 53
    #4
    grandmafay said:

    My Heart Goes Out to You
    Wendy, I am so sorry about your partner's mother. I know that it's hard. One of my husband's wishes during his 6 year fight was that his 90+ mother would go before he did. He knew how hard it would for her to deal with his death. She had already lost one son She died a couple of years ago, also of congestive heart failure. My mother is also 90+ and did live with us. She was having so much trouble dealing with my husband's illness that my sister took her to her house. My mom is going to stay there. I know none of this makes it easier for you. I think you need to honor your partner's mother's wishes. Her quality of life may be less than she wants. She may feel that she doesn't want to prolong her life. Many of us have had to accept this type of decision from our loved ones. Check with her dr. Maybe it's time to call in hospice.

    I, too, am wondering how I will get through the holidays. I know they will be hard. My sons and their families are very supportive. I have 4 granddaughters ranging in ages from 4 to 16. So I will be surrounded with family which is really helpful. I know we will all miss my husband. His sense of humor and fun was a big part of our celebrations.

    Please take care of yourself. Do what you think is right. Lead with your heart which I know is large and already missing a piece. Fay

    i promised to look after her
    Thanks for your kind words Fay

    The family want me to bring her home to die in her own home, I just can't do it... I just cant sit there day after day and watch another person die

    Wendy
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #5
    pipwe1 said:

    i promised to look after her
    Thanks for your kind words Fay

    The family want me to bring her home to die in her own home, I just can't do it... I just cant sit there day after day and watch another person die

    Wendy

    Take Care of Yourself
    You need to take care of yourself. Some may not understand, but they haven't walked in your shoes. I can totally understand that you are not ready to do this. Our emotions are fragile at best. Her family needs to step up to the plate. If they want her to be in a home setting, let it be their home. Take care, Fay

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